
The Fine Print
This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any
resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely
coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List
each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included.
Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No
other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a
motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by
addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell
securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for
some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional
listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models
over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your
physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten
before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times
approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in
the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of
agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits
all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of
non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent
the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For office
use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any
mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool. process promptly. Post
office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time
of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file,
unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect,
incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect,
error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not
the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence.
Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this
line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled
check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact
with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is
properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly
higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are
not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on
some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to
ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes
accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at
location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a
garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated are. Keep away
from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for
veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible.
Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes.
No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for
this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors.
No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise
specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two
alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free
before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the
trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification
purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous
stub. Unix is a registeredtrademark of AT&T. Do not fold,
spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a
complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage
may vary. This article does not reflect the thoughts or opinions
of either myself, my company, my friends, or my cat. Don't quote
me on that. Don't quote me on anything. All rights reserved. You
may distribute this article freely but you may not make a profit
from it. Terms are subject to change without notice.
Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. Any
resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional
and purely coincidental. Do not remove this disclaimer under
penalty of law. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. Do not
bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle. No substitutions allowed. For a
limited time only. This article is void where prohibited, taxed,
or otherwise restricted. Caveat emptor. Article is provided
"as is" without any warranties. Reader assumes full
responsibility. An equal opportunity article. No shoes, no shirt,
no articles. quantities are limited while supplies last. If any
defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but
return to an authorized service center. Read at your own risk.
Parental advisory - explicit lyrics. Text may contain explicit
materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance
is advised. Keep away from sunlight. Keep away from pets and
small children. Limit one-per-family please. No money down. No
purchase necessary. You need not be present to win. Some assembly
required. Batteries not included. Instructions are included.
Action figures sold separately. No preservatives added. Slippery
when wet. Safety goggles may be required during use. Sealed for
your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken. Call
before you dig. Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse.
For external use only. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling
develops, discontinue reading. Read only with proper ventilation.
Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Keep
away from open flames. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid
inhaling fumes. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120
degrees Fahrenheit. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic
source. Smoking this article could be hazardous to your health.
The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a
condom. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. If
ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist,
consult a physician. Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and
children should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball.
Caution: Happy FUn Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous
speeds. Happy Fun Ball contains a liquid core, which if exposed
due to rupture should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. Do
not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete. Discontinute use of Happy Fun
Ball if any of the following occurs: Itching, Vertigo, Dizziness,
Tingling in extremities, Loss of balance or coordination, Slurred
speech, Temporary blindness, Profuse Sweating, or Heart
palpitations. If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away
immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. Happy Fun Ball may
stick to certain types of skin. When not in use, Happy Fun Ball
should be returned to its special container and kept under
refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun
Ball, Wacky Products Incorporated, and it's parent company,
Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability. Ingredients
of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing substance which fell
to Earth, presumably from outer space. Happy Fun Ball has been
shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped
by our warplanes on Iraq. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball. May cause
any of the aforementioned effects and/or death. Articles are
ribbed for your pleasure. Possible penalties for early withdrawal.
Offer valid only at participating sites. Slightly higher west of
the Rockies. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. Must be 18 to
read. Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning,
flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake,
hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper
reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized
reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered
serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts,
sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered
in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship
sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the
item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest
fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to,
arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes,
or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives,
stones, etc.). Seek help immediately if you are actually reading
this! This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any
resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely
coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List
each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included.
Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No
other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a
motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by
addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell
securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for
some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional
listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models
over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your
physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten
before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times
approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in
the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of
agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits
all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of
non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent
the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For office
use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any
mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool. process promptly. Post
office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time
of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file,
unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect,
incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect,
error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not
the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence.
Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this
line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled
check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact
with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is
properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly
higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are
not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on
some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to
ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes
accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at
location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a
garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated are. Keep away
from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for
veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible.
Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes.
No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for
this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors.
No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise
specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two
alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free
before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the
trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification
purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous
stub. Unix is a registeredtrademark of AT&T. Do not fold,
spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a
complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage
may vary. This article does not reflect the thoughts or opinions
of either myself, my company, my friends, or my cat. Don't quote
me on that. Don't quote me on anything. All rights reserved. You
may distribute this article freely but you may not make a profit
from it. Terms are subject to change without notice.
Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. Any
resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional
and purely coincidental. Do not remove this disclaimer under
penalty of law. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. Do not
bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle. No substitutions allowed. For a
limited time only. This article is void where prohibited, taxed,
or otherwise restricted. Caveat emptor. Article is provided
"as is" without any warranties. Reader assumes full
responsibility. An equal opportunity article. No shoes, no shirt,
no articles. quantities are limited while supplies last. If any
defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but
return to an authorized service center. Read at your own risk.
Parental advisory - explicit lyrics. Text may contain explicit
materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance
is advised. Keep away from sunlight. Keep away from pets and
small children. Limit one-per-family please. No money down. No
purchase necessary. You need not be present to win. Some assembly
required. Batteries not included. Instructions are included.
Action figures sold separately. No preservatives added. Slippery
when wet. Safety goggles may be required during use. Sealed for
your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken. Call
before you dig. Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse.
For external use only. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling
develops, discontinue reading. Read only with proper ventilation.
Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Keep
away from open flames. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid
inhaling fumes. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120
degrees Fahrenheit. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic
source. Smoking this article could be hazardous to your health.
The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a
condom. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. If
ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist,
consult a physician. Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and
children should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball.
Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous
speeds. Happy Fun Ball contains a liquid core, which if exposed
due to rupture should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. Do
not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete. Discontinute use of Happy Fun
Ball if any of the following occurs: Itching, Vertigo, Dizziness,
Tingling in extremities, Loss of balance or coordination, Slurred
speech, Temporary blindness, Profuse Sweating, or Heart
palpitations. If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away
immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. Happy Fun Ball may
stick to certain types of skin. When not in use, Happy Fun Ball
should be returned to its special container and kept under
refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun
Ball, Wacky Products Incorporated, and it's parent company,
Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability. Ingredients
of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing substance which fell
to Earth, presumably from outer space. Happy Fun Ball has been
shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped
by our warplanes on Iraq. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball. May cause
any of the aforementioned effects and/or death. Articles are
ribbed for your pleasure. Possible penalties for early withdrawal.
Offer valid only at participating sites. Slightly higher west of
the Rockies. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. Must be 18 to
read. Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning,
flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake,
hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper
reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized
reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered
serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts,
sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered
in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship
sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the
item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest
fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to,
arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes,
or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives,
stones, etc.). Other restrictions may apply.
This disclaimer may not be copied without the expressed written consent of whoever I stole it from.
Any resemblance between the above views and those of my employer, my terminal, or the view out my window are purely coincidental. Any resemblance between the above and my own views is non-deterministic. The question of the existence of views in the absence of anyone to hold them is left as an exercise for the reader. The question of the existence of the reader is left as an exercise for the second god coefficient. (A discussion of non-orthogonal, non-integral polytheism is beyond the scope of this article).
We now return you to
your regularly scheduled programming.
This site is best viewed on My Computer. And/or your eyes. If
you're some kind of wussy that doesn't have their resolution at
least 800 x 600 or you can't view pages with "Frames"
click here -> I'm a sissy without 800 x
600 resolution and/or I can't view pages with frames. If you are
one of the above, go find some other sissy website to browse,
Bitch. Get a clue.