She says she pulls razor blades out of her wrists.
She scares me when she talks like that. 
She also tells me she holds me
Tightly to her to get through the night.
It makes me feel special.
(The stress is killing me)
 
I don't know how to deal with her.
But she truly doesn't have anyone else.
So I talk and she teases and we laugh.
And God knows how I try to listen,
Failing but for her forgiveness.
(I think it's love)
 
Some days it hurts to look at her.
Other days it's painful under her gaze.
And I've forgotten where we once wanted to go,
But I hope we get there soon.
 
10/18/98