Drinks

So, you want to be an alcoholic.
Step 1:
Remember.."Liquor before beer- you're in the clear. Beer before liqour, you've never been sicker."
Step 2:
Find a drink that suits your attitude.
(pussies drink fruity drinks... nuff said)
Step 3:
If you start feeling fuzzy headed, don't act like an IDIOT. No throwing people through walls to prove how easy it is to give people nic-names.
Step 4:
If at any time you feel the urge to puke, DO NOT PUKE ON YOUR BEST FRIENDS' COUCH, RUG, etc.
Step 5:
Get all excited and run out and buy the biggest bottle of Liquor you can afford. Drink half of it by yourself. If you live to see another day, my friend, you are on the road to becoming an American asset.
Step 6:
Join the Navy, and steal other guys' girlfriends, while drinking heavily.