Yesterday was awful. I was almost certain I was gonna get my heart broken. If Willow had chosen Oz I don't know what I would have done.
But last night. Last night was amazing.
Afterwards I thought I'd never get to sleep, my mind was racing and I was so excited. I was like a little kid on Christmas Eve. She must have known that I was restless because she'd lain beside me, stroking my hair, just watching me. It calmed me down. Just feeling her next to me. Knowing she was watching me. Knowing I was the one she'd chosen. Me.
She's still fast asleep. It's my turn to watch her now. She's smiling that irresistible smile. I wonder what she's dreaming?
She's laid flat on her back with the sheets drawn up to just below her shoulders; I know that underneath them she's naked. My mind flashes back to last night. She said she was going to make up for everything she'd put me through. My god she did!
My skin's still tingling now. I can still feel her warm breath, her gentle touch, all over my body. I close my eyes, overcome by the memory of pure, intense pleasure. The memory of her magic touch, her talented tongue and fingers inside me causes an insatiable desire. I need to touch her; I need to feel her bare skin against my own.
Before I know what I'm doing my hand darts out and pulls the covers back, away from her perfect figure. The top half of her body is in full view, and it's all for me.
Just for me.
I run a single finger up and down the centre of her body, starting at her collarbone, finishing just below her navel. After a while I work my way up to her breasts. As I reach her right nipple she stirs. Her eyes flutter open and she softly, questioningly mutters my name.
Panicking, I remove my hand from her supple breast. I don't dare look at her. I feel guilty for disturbing her peaceful slumber, just to satisfy my own needs.
She groans, unimpressed, then mumbles something I can't hear. The only word I can make out is 'stop'.
I've upset her. I've gone too far.
What's upset her more?
That I woke her up? That I invaded her personal space? That I was selfishly fulfilling my desires when she had no way of telling me that it's not what she wanted? That I was touching her body as if it belonged to me, like some kind of possession?
"Tara?"
The sound of her voice calling my name dragged me away from my thoughts. I've been quiet for too long. She's frowning at my vacant expression with some concern, trying to read what I'm thinking.
"How come you stopped?" She repeated her mumble more clearly. So that's what she'd said.
I take a deep breath, thinking of the best way to answer the question. Finally I manage to stammer
"Y-you we're s-s-sleeping. I, I shouldn't�"
She sits up, takes my hands in hers and looks me straight in the eye.
"I can't think of a nicer way to be woken up." She grins at me. That mischievous, loving grin that makes my heart melt every single time.
In spite of myself I feel a shy smile spread across my face. I just know that my cheeks have gone scarlet. They always do.
"Hey, baby. I love you."
I'm still not used to hearing those words. The idea that anyone could love me is overwhelming. Warm, salty tears begin to roll down my cheeks, but she brushes them away with her thumbs. I notice she has a glint in her eyes to match her mischievous grin.
"I love you." She repeats as she strokes the inside of my thigh.
Her touch is feathery soft and it drives me wild.