THE WISDOM OF JESSICA SIMPSON?!  31-Oct-2003  Now despite all the negative publicity from Jessica Simpson's antics on her new MTV show with hubby, Nick Lachey, we all know that we've grown to love her. Sure, she may be a ditz... but she's a ditz with a bangin' body. And despite what people say about her songs, she has a voice that's 100% better than Britney Spears. Too bad Britney has great promoters who gets her great gigs. But what it all comes down to is singing talent - which the likes of X-Tina A., Jessica S., and even Mandy Moore have over Britney ANY day. But this isn't a news-bit about The Spears, so I won't digress.

On E! Online, I found an article that sorta spoofs the "wisdom" of our blonde bombshell in all it's glory. And it's some hilarious stuff... You've GOT to check out the site and read for yourself...! LOL... It's actually called THE WISDOM OF JESSICA SIMPSON. Check out some of the entries:

"Isn't it plata-ma-pus? I always thought it was plata-ma-pus."
The Situation: Jessica reveals that while the duck-like stuffed animal that she wins at an amusement park may be called a "platypus" by most, to her the little creatures always sound like some obscure Sesame Street character.
The Profound Lesson: The number of syllables a word has is, in no way, an indicator of how serious a word it is. Or whether it's a word at all.

"I have bubbles in my tummy...It's just air. It's not stink. Promise."
The Situation: After a hearty meal of barbecued hamburgers, Jessica searches deep within herself...and finds gas. Unscented, bubbly gas.
The Profound Lesson: While wags may joke about what's inside her head, Jessica knows where she keeps all her air.

"You learn something new every day."
The Situation: After husband Nick tells Jessica about a dead mouse he found that was stiff with rigor mortis, Jessica asks what that means. She also uses the word "mouses."
The Profound Lesson: Some might think it funny to hear her stammer as she attempts to pronounce rigor mortis, but really, what is more important--knowing something that only applies after you're dead or developing a philosophy that celebrates learning something every day? We know we learned something from all this--and it wasn't what happens to dead mouses. Just don't ask us what it was.

My, oh my... Poor thing indeed. Trick or treat?! LOL.

DOSE OF REALITY ON SEX AND THE CITY.  30-Oct-2003  In a totally weird twist of fate, Kim Cattrall's character, Samantha Jones, on HBO's Sex and the City gets cancer in this final season... To be exact, she gets breast cancer. In a spoiler off E! Online, I found this out:

Sadness, you guys. Sadness...

SCARY MOOOOOOOOVIE...  27-Oct-2003  Looks like the Scary Movie franchise topped the box office this weekend with their 3rd installment. According to reports, the movie opened to record highs for an October release. Not bad for Miramax Films, who distributed the film. This feat makes Scary Movie 3 Miramax's top-biller thus far.

Once again, the film spoofs many of the movies that have graced the silver screen in the past years, most especially the horror/supernatural movies like The Ring, Signs, and The Others. SM3 is directed by David Zucker, of Airplane! and The Naked Gun series fame. Among its roster of stars, the film boasts Anna Faris, Leslie Nielsen, George Carlin, Charlie Sheen, and Queen Latifah. Sales for opening weekend surpassed that of the last Scary Movie release, and even topped the numbers from the first film, which incidentally did better than the second film as well.

So get scurred with Scary Movie 3, in theaters near YOU!

HERE COMES THE BRIDE(s)?!  24-Oct-2003 
So wedding bells seem to be getting ready to peel in honor of some of Hollywood's hottest couples. Is it that time again? Well, celebrity weddings are always the toast of the town ---especially after the whole fiasco between Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. Whether or not a couple wants a circus or an honest-wedding is not really my choice to make. But hey... if you can afford the media frenzy, then why the hell not? AHAHA...

Well, the spotlight is definitely off J.Lo and Ben for the time being. Now shifting our sights on other couples in the "industry," it might interest you to know that Kirstin Dunst is happily engaged to actor-beau Jake Gyllenhaal. The two were seen sometime in February "buying" the rings. Seems that our little vampire/cheer tater is all grown up. Now isn't that special? AWWWWW...

In a similar vain, it's been said that Janet Jackson and producer Jermaine Dupri are headed towards marital bliss as well. This one, unfortunately, is a little hard to believe just yet. The two have been off and on for as long as we can figure now, and I could've sworn that the last I heard was that Miss J actually gave Dupri a "Dear John" phonecall. NOT A LETTER, but a phonecall. Hey, I never said that Miss J wasn't gutsy... Well, rumors aside...it seems that the couple are back on the up-and-up. Don't know why this couple is even TOGETHER. I mean LOOK at them (see photo). There is an apparent miss-match with this duo, and for that I must give them a serious thumbs-down. Oh boo. Whatever. Janet, you can get any guy that you want. Why Jermaine Dupri?! Looks alone would call us to turn our heads in shame. But hey, he may have it all inside. And that, my friends, is what's supposed to count - right?!

TROUBLE IN HOLLYWOOD?!  23-Oct-2003  When it comes to Shannen Doherty, it seems like Hollywood is an "on" and "off" entity. Some days, this girl is on top of her game. But on others, she's just lost. Period. The former 90210 diva has gone through a multitude of other gigs since her days at West Beverly High were over. Her latest MAJOR stint with Charmed seemed to have catapulted her back into the limelight. But that, too, was short-lived. The show continues, though, with someone else taking her place as usual. Is this the same old trend that The Shannen will follow in her career?! Will it be show after show, with her leaving after she's had her fill? Not to forget all the rumors that abound regarding her not-so-friendly backstage demeanor. I guess we will never know. Shannen Doherty remains as elusively coy as she was back in the day. She's totally not a media whore, unlike that prick-of-a-socialite Paris Hilton, but at the same time the media can't seem to get enough of her.

The latest 411 on Shannen is that she's posed for Playboy. She's gone off the deep end, folks, and she's posed for the magazine. Well, in many ways Playboy definitely is the more "tasteful" of the other skin magz out there, so it's no big thing. Almost every woman in the industry has done a spread for the magazine, some bearing it all... while others won't. Thing is, it's been said that she did it to sorta "pump up" her upcoming new show that'll be airing on a major TV network soon (NBC? CBS? FOX? ABC?!). Who knows... The media is also jonin' on her boobs. Apparently, she's got new ones... Apparently.

Oh, Shannen... You never cease to amaze (and confuse) me. Weirdo.

GET READY FOR NIP/TUCK.  22-Oct-2003  Call it a secret obsession... I'm back on a television kick, probably because I've decided that I can't be out gallavanting with the world's party scene forever. I'm on hiatus for the time being. Don't worry, come next February I'll probably be in "club kid mode" once again. I'll party like a rock star with the best of 'em, but right now it's all about takin' a step back. I can take a break from my nightly bar-fests (okay, every-other-nightly) to prepare for what's to come with the holiday season. Broke-Wen is taking on a new identity, and being Santa Claus ain't gonna be one of 'em. AHAHAHAH.

ANYWAY. So television. I've made myself a slave to the tube once again. Namely, I have an obligation to follow One Tree Hill on the WB on Tuesday nights, and then I've been intrigued by Alicia Silverstone on Miss Match on Fridays, which is a good thing. It totally keeps me from going out... And then, when it's late at night...and nothing else is on the tele, I turn to FX and catch the re-runs of Nip/Tuck. WHAT a show that is. When I first heard of it, I honestly thought that it was gonna be some fake-me-out reality show about people getting cosmetic surgery and blah-blah-blah. Well, yes and no. It's not exactly reality TV. It is contrived drama at its best; a cross between Melrose Place and ER. At first glance, you'd think: Wow, this show breaks all moral values and issues that the world may even begin to fathom... But just when you're believing that in disgust, it turns around and nips you in the bud ---hits you with a dose of heart-felt morality that you just can't help but get SUCKED-IN. It's a good show; very entertaining. Lots of angry sex going on, but these days... that's pretty much inevitable. You've gotta check it out. They just ended the season this week, BUT when it's back for their second run DON'T miss out. You can still catch the re-runs on FX late at night...

N'SYNC REUNION: TO BE, OR NOT TO BE? THAT IS THE QUESTION.  21-Oct-2003  OhBoO... N'sync was scheduled to have their "reunion" sometime in the near future. But the much-awaited end to their somewhat confusing hiatus seems to be, in itself, going on its own hiatus. Well, for the time being at least. Is it because of JT's bustling career after his solo stint with Justified? Well, YES and NO. The problem, if you can call it that, is actually with N'sync crooner JC Chasez. Among the 5, JT and JC were the ones slated to "come out" with solo stints: a CD, a possible tour, etc. While JT's fame spread high and wide, JC seemed to be left on the way-side. But it was all done in good reason apparently. Executives wanted JT's success to give way for JC's own... So JC's people apparently but his stint aside as JT's thang took its course. With the Justified CD now at a plateau, and the Justified/Stripped concert tour now over, it seems like JC's chance to do "bigger and better things" is now on the horizon... all at the price of putting the boy-band's reunion on-hold once again. But it's all good... Each guy is doing his thing, and definitely keeping busy. While JT's solo act has taken flight, and JC's about to be birthed, the other N'Syncers are also busy "doin' their thang." Joey Fatone is busy with his duties as husband and father, and completed his run as "Mark" on Broadway's hit musical RENT. Lance Bass has dabbled with films: as an actor and as a director. But he's probably known more for his recent attempt to go to space. I'm personally not too sure if he made it out there or not (there were too many twists to that story that i gave up on keeping tabs), but at least we know he tried. AHAHAH... And Chris K.?! Umm, don't know what he's been up to. But I do remember him co-hosting one of the more recent Miss Teen USA Pageants. And he did a great job, BTW. So see, they're actually keeping busy, and doing things in the industry still. I'm sure we'll be seeing more of them in the future.

Whatever happened to those Bakyard Guys? Whatever they're called...

COUPLING, ANYONE?!  17-Oct-2003  Looks like NBC is kinda wavering on their overly-hyped version of Britain's COUPLING. The show was touted to be the next-best import from the Atlantic isle, and was purported to be the answer to the ending of FRIENDS after this last season. But it doesn't seem like the Brit-flavored hit is hittin' where it needs to hit most. In fact, it seems like it's going to be a miss more than anything. NBC execs put the show on hiatus for the next two weeks. Last night, the show's slot was taken over by a reprise of this past Tuesday's WHOOPI, which, frankly, I thought sucked. Personally, I think that WHOOPI tries too hard to tackle issues in a funny way... but instead of making light of today's societal woes, it just pokes fun at things not-at-all FUNNY. Next week, the 9:30-slot will be taken over by the three Thursday-vets having 40-mins each: FRIENDS, SCRUBS, and WILL & GRACE. I don't know what happened to MOON OVER MIAMI, but like that show was cool, too. It wasn't.

NBC also put BOOMTOWN on a one-week hiatus... It seems like it's Friday night 9:00PM slot isn't working for it. See, BOOMTOWN is a great show, but moving it to Friday night at 9:00PM is like total murder-suicide. WHO wants to be home on a Friday night?! That's exactly what happened with FOX'S FASTLANE and DARK ANGEL, which were both pretty good shows. Now look at 'em... These dumb TV networks go in thinking that they can put these things on during a Friday night, and then they blame the shows if/when they flop. NO, execs, it's YOUR fault. YOU SUCK BASICALLY. YOU SUCK! With that being said, can I have your jobs? AHAHAH...

Personally, I like COUPLING. It's been described (in a negative way) as being FRIENDS-meets-SEX-IN-THE-CITY, which I think is a good thing. I was vibin' off the show. I think "critics" are too worried about COMPARING it to FRIENDS. If people would stop doing that, perhaps they can get past all the bullsh*t. COUPLING is NOT FRIENDS, people. The gang at FRIENDS don't wanna do their show anymore, so let 'em rest. If COUPLING can have the chance to shine...then let it... I swear. You can never win. People just want and want and want... Let's get over it already! BRING ON THE NEW SHOWS, DAMN IT!! (ahahaha...)