I don't really know how to react. I'm scared, simply because I don't really understand the motives for the war. Nor do I want to, or plan to, believe the speculations as to "why," because they're all dumb reasons anyway (see yesterday's entry). But really, WHY go through the trouble without the full backing of the world? That's just insanely stupid. Bush is just as insane as Saddam (in different respects, of course). Whatever. Now all our TV shows will be plagued with "Special Reports" and "Changing News." And above all that, I'm sure there will be some kind of crazy attack here and there and everywhere. It's not gonna be fun, and that is what I'm scared of. Who knows, what if I can't fly home from Los Angeles after this weekend? What if they cancel the Oscars on Sunday? What if they cancel Miss USA on Monday (ahahah!), or just what if things get out of hand?
Personally, I don't know what to think or what to say. I'm pretty much all numb to it all. I can't say why I feel that way. It's that numbness that makes me NOT wanna think too much on the issue. It's all a waste to me, and I'm just hoping that things will either work themselves out - withOUT any major loss - or that things just fizzle into nothingness. America is just as vulnerable as any other nation, so let's just not even get into it. We're just as capable of going through some dumb ish as any other nation is. [ASIDE:Next thing you know, the latest singers will come together to create another "Voices That Care" or "We Are the World" monstrosity that'll be etched in our minds and memories forever. Help us.]
Yeah, so I'm not worried about the whole issue at all... But at the same time, I just AM worried that things might get out of hand. What are the president's aides telling him to do?! They're obviously telling him to do the wrong thing. And now you have big-mouthed Americans (at times myself included, i must admit) talkin' at the side of their necks on the issue. To be honest, I don't know enough of what's going on to take a solid, convicted stance. I don't think I care too much about it at all.
All I know is that right now I'm hungry, I'm hot, and I'm sleepy.
Oh. I was driving thru traffic this morning when I heard that song, "God Bless the USA," blaring on 97.1. Shut-up. I listen to soft rock on the way to work. It keeps me calm for some odd reason. ANYway. I heard that song, and I didn't know whether to laugh or not. I have too many inside jokes about that song. But that's besides the point. After the laughs settled in, I began to ask myself, "Am I PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN, where at least I know I'm free?" Then I've decided that despite the freedom and yada-yada, I pretty much am just "BLAH" about my Americanness. I mean, no doubt, I'm proud... but I totally see and understand why people outside of the U.S. would hate us so much. Besides being obnoxious, loud, and demanding - yes, even in the international scene - just our whole understanding of "manifest destiny" is just too much. Yes, I admit, I've been one of those obnoxious, loud, and demanding Americans. It sucks, I know. But thinking back on it, I'm compelled to at least attempt to change. Just cause I have a big "AMERICAN" stamp on my forehead doesn't mean I need to act like a dumb-ass. I think that as Americans, many of us fail to remember that there are other people out there, other cultures, other ways of life. And these cultures, ways of life, and people are just fine the way that they are. And for some reason, we Americans have a hard time understanding that.
I'm all for the republican party (sorry, it's my deep-rooted military ties... LOL), but c'mon now, George Dub'ya!! DROP the war tactics already! For whatever reasons you really have to go to war, let's try to be rational here.
At the same time, however, let's stop - as an American public - the dumb speculations. When I hear comments about how people believe it'll get too hot for our soldiers to fight later on in the year, I just want to cringe. Or when I hear that G. Dub'ya is just trying to carry on his father's "legacy," I cringe. Moreso, when I hear people say that G. Dub'ya has NO regard for his people/other people, I cringe. YOU PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE THAT are totally ridiculous, and you're all looking at this from one DUMB side...
First of all, U.S. troops will fight no matter what the weather is. Let's just leave that argument on the back-burner. To me, it's a feeble - and ignorant - attempt to rally people against the stupidity of war. Again, while I, too, think that war is "stupid," this argument is very juvenile. And when I hear people try to make that argument intelligible, I laugh. Secondly, G. Dub'ya ain't tryin' to make a war to LEAVE HIS MARK, or to FINISH HIS FATHER'S FIGHT. G. Dub'ya feels a threat, and he's reacting to it in the way that any red-blooded leader would. So let's stop that speculation, too. You people who believe this are just TRYING to grab some kind of "reason" for this madness. Eh, keep trying, fools. And finally, if G. Dub'ya didn't have any regard for people, he wouldn't even care about the threats... Sadam, Osama, or Little Red Riding Hood - WHO GIVES A F@CK?! If a person serves as a threat - they're a THREAT.
I dunno... I'm against war, but seriously people... get a GRIP.
OK - I just totally lost my inspiration, and I have nothing more to say. Ooooh, there's a banana. Yum.
We were out for Carrie's b-day (yes, we sure did go out again for the beeyatch... HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BOO! LOL!) at DREAM last night, and as we were downing the vodka gimlets, the black opals, and the soco shots (w/lime!) - some dude turns to us and goes, "Hey! Did you guys see METEOR MAN up there?" as he points over to one of the elevated VIP platforms. So we look up, and lo & behold, there's Chris Tucker... standin' back, takin' a look at the crowd and just chillin'. Being the crazy person that I am (ie., Miami Celeb Sighting 2002 -- Ali Landry & 'A.C. Slater' @ Mynt... LA Celeb Sighting 2001 -- The Wayans Bros. @ The Saddle Ranch) I coerced Carrie to go up closer with me - just to get a better look due to the fogginess of my drunken stupor. So we're there, and Carrie turns to these two girls and asks, "Yo, is that really METEOR MAN?!" And the three of them start laughing and jumping up and down. It was a trip. You gotta love the crowd at DREAM. It was just sheer 'classic' at that point. So anyway, we got over it real quick (no need for the ignorance here, celebs are real people, too). Well that was until bold-ass Carrie actually goes up to him and tell him that he needs to "smile nicer." DAYAM, GUURRRRRLL! She straight-up went to Chris Tucker and told his ass to SMILE NICER! *bow-down-2-currita* So yeah. We were totally just goin' drink for drink, havin' a blast, and just enjoying the company. Hung out with Steve and co., and saw some of the O.G. "MASON" crew: Melanie, Joanna, etc. Very-very GOOD to see those people again!!
So DREAM was good. We made it home, but not before we stopped at our favorite gas station in Potomac Yards for fries, smokes, and water. Oh, and an UTZ party mix, too. LOL! Good times, good times. Oh yeah, dinner at DREAM was good as always. AHAHAHA!
But the night before was just as fun at HOME. Again, we were out for Carrie's b-day... *rolls eyes* AHAHHA! SYKE, BOO! But we were there, and there was a great crowd, too. Kuya Raf as there, and he hooked us up with shots... some of the Bliss crowd was there, but not all of them. Saw other O.G. Mason people - which was WAY TOO COOL. Then some of the new-school UMCP famz, like CJ and Brandon and co. VERY-VERY COOL. It was just a fun night... dancin', taking full advantage of the open bar, and just laughing at all the people and things that went down. Lemme find out that my Godbro, Allen, was there. And Jenny, Donna, and the rest of the Baltimore crew. It was just GREAT. Too much fun this weekend.
OH! And not to out-do the double-day craziness, but Helen and Carrie "coerced" me to buy the "Jordan Segundo" sweater, but for much cheaper than A|X's. Thank goodness for H&M.
Man... gotta go to church still. Back to work tomorrow?! MANNNNNNN! Anyway, GREAT weekend. Gotta relish about it before it ends.
Speaking of the weekend, I think I'll have to stay my ass home tomorrow and Sunday. I got paid today, and needless to say, the majority of it has gone off to bills, and to my plane ticket to LA for next weekend. To top that off, I have to skimp for the rest of the week just so that I'll have money for food and drinks while I'm in LA. I know it's only for a weekend, and that I probably don't plan to do any shopping while I'm out there (why bother, when i can just shop here)... unless, of course, we're going to Fred Segal. AHAHAHA... But all joking aside, I don't plan on droppin' mad-loot while I'm there. A weekend shouldn't be about droppin' much loot.
Speaking of droppin' money (don't you just love how i segue into another topic that's relatively linked to the previous one?!)... I made a sinister mistake of asking my Godsis, Gina, to go with me to Arundel Mills after work yesterday. No wait, let me move back a bit. After work I went to Pentagon Row to drop off a sweater @ the cleaners. Then I brought these black dress boots to the cobbler (next door to the cleaners) to have repaired. The soles were worn, and it was in need of cleaning/polishing. So the cobbler highly suggests that I get new soles (mine were really in bad shape), so I did. And it cost me like $55. BLOWER. Then I went to Harris Teeter and grabbed chicken fingers to snack on --- which was priced only $2.69 w/a VIC card. But dumb WEN left his VIC card in the car, so I ended up paying $3.44. Life's unfair, I know it. THEN I traveled through some TRIFE traffic in Old Town just to get home to scoop up Gina. From there, we went all the way out to bum-fuck and ended up at Arundel Mills...for ONE reason, and ONE reason only: H&M. I had to christen that shit. So we did. I tried on this one peasant shirt that reminded me of the costumes we wore for pandanggo sa ilaw with our dance troupe back in the day. I mean, it was aight... but I felt like I was about to go on stage to work out some Filipino dances from the rural suite. Not good. I also tried on this one retro-lookin' shirt, but I got it a size too small. Didn't wanna try on the bigger one. THEN I tried on the sweater like Jordan Segundo's from American Idol. It actually fit well, and it made me look slimmer and fitter (did that make sense?), but it was too chunky. I'm not feelin' the need for chunky sweaters anymore, and even if I did buy it - it might not be in style next fall. So I 86-ed it. If I can find a thinner one somewhere else, so be it. I ended up getting another peasant-looking shirt. Actually, it's more bohemian-ish. I re-bought my favorite scarf that I had lost at some dumb Chinese buffet, I also got a cream ribbed sweater (which i was in need of), and I got a pair of these gray boxers...they have this shi-shi design on it. Not like anyone is gonna see me in my underwear-glory, but you now. It's how YOU feel. AHAHAAH! Gosh, I love H&M. It's like buying the style and trends of Jon Varvatos, but paying Old Navy prices. H&M makes Banana seem too "stiff" style-wise. I've always been down with the trendier looks anyway.
I had a bout of road rage this morning, but that was inevitable. I was just pissed because Fridays are usually good in terms of the morning commute. But today it was just LIT. It was slow, backed-up for miles, and the radio kept saying ALL the lanes were open. But come to find out, there was a damn disabled vehicle. DAMN HIM/HER!! But damn the traffic reporters even MORE!! To make matters worse, I come in today and get an e-mail from the person who's reprocessing my file for a new ID badge, and he tells me that it's been reprocessed, and that I should be able to get it on Monday. Doesn't help that today they're being total DICKS about me using the visitor's badge!! HELLO! Do they not remember me as the freak without the badge for this past WHOLE week?! Goodness-gracious!
Eh, it's Friday... Speaking of which... ahahah! At Arundel Mills last night, me and Gina noticed that their TGIFriday's restaurant has a new concept. It actually looked cool, too. LOL. Anyway. Tonight I'm gonna get lit with Carrie to finish off her b-day week. C'mon, Carrie! I take a whole MONTH to celebrate my b-day, and yer only doing a WEEK?! AHAHAAHAH!! Oh well. Happy Friday! Ooooh... I can't stop thinking of that cake. ME WANT CAKE. NOW. Nah. *EH*
OK - so THIS is what the U.S. FREAKIN' GOVERNMENT screws-up, albeit on a day-to-day basis, I'm sure. How could they misconstrue my DRI contract with DGN?! WHATEVER! And this is the same government that wants to go to WAR?! They better watch out before they bust a personal war with yours truly...
So in the meantime, I am badgeless. I have NO NAME here in the INS - oh wait, I mean the "Bureau of Citizenship & Immigration Services." Goodness-gracious. So what?! I have to wait HOW LONG NOW?! Please...
Back to X-TiNa. Yeah, her CD rocks. It's just so gritty... it's full of this emotion that's a cross between anger management, empowerment, love, vulnerability, imperfection, perfection, bliss, bitter-sweet bliss, and inner soul. I don't know, I think I can relate. Not that I can relate to her womanly issues or anything on that level - UMM, HELLO. But I can relate to her as a person; as a human being... someone who is constantly being broken, but seeks to find this inner strength that enables us to pick-up and move on... as we should do. You know what I mean? It's like Pink's latest album. But for some reason, I feel it more in X-TiNa's album. Pink has more catchy tunes, but X-TiNa has more grit, more passion, and more room for imperfections to be seen as "good enough."
I wish that more artists would be like that... Especially the newer ones. Everyone seems so worried about fitting in with the trends, or trying hard to set the trends. No one dares to be different. Britney tops that category of "hi-i'm-from-a-mold" pseudo-stars, and Justin T. trails closely behind her. I'm sorry... I know lots of my peeps sweat him (sorry, flo! les!), but I'm sorry. All I see is "cookie-cutter-wannabe." Justin claims to be different, but for me - it just ain't different enough. I still think he can't sing either. Whatever. Lemme shut-up before the hate-mail rolls in... *WiNk*
I'm totally riding this wave of independence and empowerment. Like X-TiNa says, sometimes you just "feel underappreciated..." But when you hit those moments, you gotta remember that she also says that "everyday is so wonderful..." and that "words can't bring me down..." Emm-hmm, tell 'em, gurl... TELL 'EM.