I have to make a comment about something. I was watching Paradise Hotel last night (well, the tail-end of it), and I think it's one of the most DUMB shows ever. These reality shows are totally getting above themselves here. There's just TOO much stuff going on in terms of reality TV. ANYWAY. I don't actually get the whole concept of this show - like are these people actual couples? So the guy who had to "vote someone off" (if you will) - why were they giving him so much sh*t? Why was that chic so upset that the guy bumped-off her man? I mean, isn't that what she came into the game for? Did she NOT know the rules? Did she not expect that? Cause something tells me that she DID know all about that stuff, but her whackness totally kirked-out on the guy. I'm sorry, but if you kirked-out just to get all stank on national TV, then you're just flat out LAME. Next episode shows her all being like, "WE ARE ALL GOING TO MAKE SURE THAT YOUR TIME HERE IS A LIVING HELL!!" Excuse me, girlfriend, but let's drop the dramatics here. You KNOW the rules of the game, and yo' a$$ agreed to go on this show and get your man bumped-off in the way that he did. So do NOT trip, aight?! And all your gurlz need to step-off it, too. Cause they are NEXT. They all act like that guy did the worst thing ever by voting off that one dude. But hello?! If it wasn't duder, then it was going to be another duder... so let's just get over it. It's a game, and I'm annoyed with drama queens being all wah-wah on the tele just because they're not tryin' to get their way. Girlfriend has seen one too many seasons of The Real World. I think she needs to get b*tch-slapped forreal.

Aside from that, I'm having a happy day. Happy day! Happy day! Happy day! My cousin couldn't meet-up last night, so I had a free night basically. Tonight might be free, too, and that's a good thing. More "chillen" time for Wen. I'm tempted to go to the mall, but I don't think I should. Who knows what kind of stuff I'll come out with if I decide to hit-up the mall. I am tryin' to hit-up H&M though. But I guess I can wait until I go to NYC. I'll just check-out the one on 5th Ave. if/when I head up for the day with Helen.

Did I tell you that I am one broke-a$$ jigga? Forreal. I have all these bills to be paid. It's not even cool. So my next pay-check is already allocated for PAYMENTS. How SICK is that?! Those medical bills are just flat out TRIFE. I really hope that I don't get anymore. AHAHHA... NO MORE HOSPITAL VISITS FOR ME, PLEASE!! I think I'm feeling better, and I'm getting a handle on my previous "issues." HAR-HAR-HAR. But yeah, I'm broke. *sniff*

YFC is definitely younger now, and the "old schoolers" were definitely not present. Well, give and take a few here and there. I recognized many faces still - mostly from Jersey, and a handful from Florida, Texas, Seattle, Chicago, and California, too. It was pretty cool to see how people have grown since the last time I saw them at a conference. Dallas 2001 was the last time I saw most of these people. I didn't go to Toronto last year. It was weird, though, because I didn't see a lot of people reppin' Dallas this year. Just saw a few that I remember. But Houston rolled-in DEEP. They were amazingly present, and their energy was just HOT all weekend. The brothers from Houston really know how to worship, man. And their presentation during the dance competition was a good one...hence the 1st place finish. I saw a lot of people sportin' the Chicago t-shirt, but I only recognized a few like MG, Dexter, Jeyne, Yvette, Miko, and Amador - among others. Same with Seattle, and same with Cali -- remember Grace, Angela, and of course Americ and Philip from the Dallas praise and fashion show... and Andy, too, and Angelo. Florida rolled-in deep with three buses?! WOW. But again, I only saw Ada, Babygail, and Fern. If the Jax-ers were there I didn't recognize any of them except for Debbie. Didn't even see Joeville's bro, but I heard he was there. And then there was JERSEY. Ahhh, our brothas and sistas up north... saw all the usual faces, which was cool. It was just good seeing everyone again. Even if there wasn't much time to actually sit down and talk or hang-out, just being able to "meet and greet" was good enough for me. It's only around this time that I usually get to see the out-of-staters.

I'm really proud of our FTWs (full time workers). They really worked their butts off... Gelo, Ray, Aires, Anzel, John, Anne, Jhoanne... Especially Ray - he went from member to FTW to Conference Director (or something like that) in just a matter of what seemed to be months, maybe a year even. That was truly a blessing.

I hadn't been to a conference since Dallas, because after Dallas YFC Conf. was supposed to be the Jersey SFC Conf. which didn't happen because of Sept. 11. Then came the joint YFC/SFC Toronto Conf. last year, which took place in conjunction with World Youth Day. I totally missed that - probably due to my spiritual dryness, and lack of faith in community. I was going through some ish. Actually, we ALL were going through some major ish back then. But this time - here in MD at the YFC Conf., I was totally feeling myself rise-up again. Almost as if I was in a deep sleep. Just being able to worship with the brothers and sisters in YFC was amazing. I don't ever get the same feeling with SFC. I don't know why. I think I get a totally different vibe/energy from SFC, which is cool in it's own way. But for me, personally, I like the energy that comes from YFC. It's much more powerful. It's a lot deeper, and it's definitely a lot more PURE. Even when we were worshiping Friday afternoon before one of the final practices, I started to choke-up. At that moment, I was really happy for our area's YFC, and it was just a God-send to have the conference in our area after all this time. It was just a victory for everyone, but most especially to God.

So right now I'm on the CONFERENCE HIGH, or conference fever - however you want to put it. The Saturday night worship was awesome, and I just had all these feelings going through me. For once I let go of whatever anger or sorrow I had in myself, and I just surrendered it to God. And He totally reminded me that He is the only way...the one, true way.

The conference was very "in-your-face..." and that made all the difference. There was no more of that "protection" going on, and people (even the younger ones) faced the realities of the things we will deal with eventually. Revolution. Posses the land. It's a great mantra. I'm sure that YFC will heed the call, and start what the SFC and CFC are somewhat afraid to start. Only God knows the plan for us all, but while we're on Earth, it's best to try to do what we can to see it through.

You know - those of you who know me well would probably agree that I'm a very easy-going person. OK, I lied. I'm an easy-going person when I want to be. But for the most part, I am pretty much open to people - new, old, short, tall, black, white, gal, guy ... what have you. But you know what?! If you cut something the wrong way with me, then that's IT. Actually, I'll try to put up with it for a while, but give it some time and I'll lose my patience and go off the deep end. If I don't like you, THEN I DON'T LIKE YOU. And if the way I look at you, or the way that I ignore you when you're blatantly trying to get my attention, isn't clue enough - then you are seriously disturbed, cause I can be brutal. HEY, why not be?! I mean, I'll keep it cute for a while, but keep on knifing me, and I'ma turn around and knife you right back... O-K?!

So this particular "cross..." I'm gonna be straight-up and say that SHE truly has some issues, and I know it's not just ME. Cause if it were just me, then these other people wouldn't have the same "issues" with her. I'm not gonna get stank on here and put names out like that (i try to keep it at a certain level of sanity here on the daily dish...), but let me just tell you - it's unbeFREAKIN'lievable that this person just continues to go through life as if she ain't got no issues in the world; as if she's RIGHT and everyone around her is WRONG. DON'T LET ME BURST YO' BUBBLE, BOO... BECAUSE I'LL DO IT IN A HEARTBEAT.

So anyway - let's call her "Te'-te'..." So Te'-te' does all these whack things... First of all, when she opens her mouth the most stupid things come out. OK, maybe that's way too harsh because sometimes she can have decent conversations with people. But with the snap of a finger, she'll say something - or DO something for that matter - that's just WHACK. It's like she doesn't think about what she's saying. Secondly, she's bossy in a not-so-bossy kind of way. MEANING - she isn't all mean and stuff, but she's just always putting her two-cents into something even when it isn't asked for, or even APPRECIATED. And when she calls attention to it, she basically beats it like a dead horse. Third - she's just flat-out ANNOYING! Fourth, she is TACKY. And I'm not just talking about her way of dress... I'm talking about her words, the way she acts around others, etc. She's freakin' OLD - ok?! OLDER than me, and I'm old, and she freakin' acts like a d@mn high-school girl sometimes. And finally, she's so freakin' off-the-wall clueless about what's "cool" and what's "not." I mean not everyone can be blessed with the know-how to sport the latest trends, but it doesn't hurt to at least try. I've seen 40 year-olds with a better sense of style than her. I've seen younger girls walk around with confidence for a reason, NOT with confidence that has no bearing. Girl only has to open her mouth, and the world can literally stop, stare, and be left bewildered for the rest of their God-given lives... It's that bad. And she's loud and obnoxious, too. What a combination.

I really need her to watch her step, cause she's been stepping on people's toes for a LONG time now. Cause if she steps on mine, then I'm gonna have to give her a piece of my mind. Now that can be mentally scarring, depending on how well (or not...) you can take my "reality check." Hate to say it, but Wen's reality can bite... HARD.

So if this niguette is smart, she'll watch herself and NOT cross me in the wrong way. DON'T CALL ME, DON'T TAP MY SHOULDER TO ASK ME ONE OF YOUR STUPID QUESTIONS, DON'T WEAR A STUPID LOOKING OUTFIT FROM 1993 (hello, i graduated high school in 93, and i've seen your outfits back in the day), AND JUST DON'T OPEN YOUR MOUTH. And if you do decide to do ANY of these things, PLEASE don't do them around me. You truly are something, Te'-te'. (something out of this galaxy, that's for sure...) Get a vibrator, or something.

So the YFC Conference is in full-swing. I'm excited. I was really proud of Ray (Pingoy) for his presentation on the conference last night. I'm really excited about it... So many fun times. And now the gang's pouring in... Steph is here, Salman is here, Tom Park is here, and others. SO MANY OTHERS.

But yeah - on an unrelated issue... I am unbelievably HAWNGRY! I'm so hawngry that I think I could eat a horse... Although I think that would be totally disgusting. SO disgusting. I'm HAWNGRY! I'm about to go the mall for lunch and eat something dumb like ice cream and a pretzel. Yeah, and get FAT. Nah, I think I'll eat a hot dog. NO - sushi... NO, maybe I'll just get a burrito. NAH, I think I'll get some boring-boring sandiwch with NOTHING on it. I have to eat healthingly-boring, or boringly-healthy. But seriously, I wanna eat like SOMEthing... BUT at the same time, I am totally wanting to eat nothing. I can't get fat cause I ended up eating all these freakin' NACHOS last night at Applebee's. YUK. I wasn't even hungry. I just ate cause that's what you do when you sit around talking with food in your face. So yeah, I totally ate them ALL. I swear. I didn't even taste it any more after a while... I was just eating it. YUK. I feel disgusting. But I'm so hungry. I woke-up late and missed my chance at breakfast. I didn't get to eat that nutrigrain bar, or bowl of oatmeal. What if I ate like nuts and berries, would I lose 10 lbs.? I just wanna lose 10 lbs. JUST 10 FREAKIN' POUNDS! Did you all know that I have body-image issues?! LOL.

OK, so I'm not really that emphatic about all this madness, but really. IF this Donnell guy was really sayin' that stuff behind these peoples' backs, then someone needs to handle that mess. Cause it's real sad how he was all laughing and chuckling and saying this and that about his teammates, but when that one chic contronted him about it he got all loud. In my experience, you only get loud if you're on the defense. If you're on the defense, chances are you're guilty. So let's have the true E! Hollywood story, Donnell. Did you say that stuff about your teammates, or NOT?! You need to quit doggin' yo' peeps forreal, befo' you get dogged right back.

I really can't stand when people feel the need to have to fake their way through things. The sad thing is anyone in their right mind can read "fakeness" a mile away. Just turn-off the fake, people. Turn it off.

Then again, there are those who often mistake certain personal "ways" as being "fake." To those people I say "get over it..." Stop reading into a person's proposed "fakeness." You can tell when someone's being fake, or if someone's just not interested. I tend to flat-out put it out there that I'm not interested by either ignoring or giving a quick greeting - a GENUINE greeting, mind you. When I greet a person, it's because I WANT to greet a person. But I'm not one of those who'll go out of their way to greet every freakin' person in a room... you know what I'm sayin'?! That, my friends, is not being fake... it's keepin' it real. If I was fake, then I'd go around the whole room and be all hugs and kisses and "hi! hi!" with a big smile on my face, but no smile in my eyes. When a person smiles with their eyes, then it's real. When a person doesn't smile with their eyes - then they're being FAKE. So YEAH.

And the reason for this post was?! AHAHAHAHAAH... Who knows... but it was on my mind at the moment. Now I have an all-hands meeting. Corporate America calls. *YUCK* Now, in a situation like this --- you can turn the fakeness on... There goes mine. 6 minutes. 6 minutes. 6 minutes Doug-E-Fresh, you're on... on... on... AHAHA...

On another note, I was totally thinking about doing the laundry. I mean I hate it. I can't stand it. It's just annoying to have to gather up all your dirty-ass clothes and sift them through a washing machine, then pop 'em in the dryer. And after all is said and done, you still have to iron and fold. Iron and fold, iron and fold, iron and fold... CALGON! TAKE ME AWAY! No, I'm not complaining about it, nor am I offering a sense that Wendel is LAZY (cause i'm NOT), BUT doing the laundry is just one of those things that sucks. You have to go out of your way to make time for it, and it does, indeed, take much of your time. I guess it's ok. You get to sit around waiting for it to be cleaned or dried...and I guess you can do anything from reading a book, watch TV, or put in some crunches while you're waiting. But still. *EH* I wish they had these laundromats - like seriously - where you just totally punch your info in a computer and then you "deposit" your clothes accordingly... sort of like those automated check-out counters at the grocery stores. It would work like a dry cleaners, but it would be all-inclusive. And it would be BETTER than dry cleaning cause at least the yucky smell of smoke and sweat will wash off... (that's for the lounge/club/bar regulars) I know that they actually do have those kind of places - and they usually tend to be high-end services for the legally wealthy. But hello!!!? How about for the not-so wealthy? Can ya'll hook a nigga up?! Forreal... I would definitely benefit from such a service. Or, I could always go the domestic route. If anyone is interested in washing, drying, and ironing my clothes for a nominal fee - PLEASE APPROACH! LOL. I know, in an IDEAL world, Wen. In an ideal world. I think it just sucks for me, because for some dumb reason - the majority of the clothes that I have are like DRY CLEAN ONLY. Or they have some instruction to wash it in "gentle cycle." Hello, might as well go and get that ish dry cleaned. Saves you the trouble. So that's why I'm always going to and from the dry cleaners. And those dry cleaners haven't even offered me some kind of compensation for my continued services. Not even a freakin' "punch card" or something. And even if they don't offer that, they should at least offer it to ME. I offer a GREAT deal of my salary to you dry cleaners! Without me, you wouldn't have that extra $20-$30 after your DAY is DONE! I'm not bitter.

On another note, there's this sweater/shirt that I want from Banana Republic. I like want it SO bad. It feels so comfortable. My only ill is WHY THE HELL IS BANANA SELLING SWEATERY MATERIAL DURING THE SUMMER?! This summer's line at Banana has been a major disappointment. It wreaks of wind chills and Bay Area nights. Funny, cause my sister told me that the current "designer" got her ideas from Moroccan street bazaars. OK, whatever. While a Moroccan street bazaar may have it's share of influence on the world of couture, it makes no sense to wear the sweatery-warmth in the humidity of the east coast US summer. NO. SERIOUSLY. But even still, I want that sweater shirt. So let me shut-up. LOL. Actually, ALL stores have been enduring a WHACK season of fashion. Sucks sublimely. Like J. Crew and their seersucker. C'mon now. Let's leave that in 1990. I'm sure it'll come back again, but after their yearly attempts to revive it, only to have it all go on-sale for like dirt-cheap with STILL no one wanting to buy 'em...there's got to be a lesson learned there. French Connection has taken the surf thing too far, but I was diggin' the "tunic look." Club Mon has been consistent with their straight, clean cuts - and they've actually had decent stuff to show for summer office wear. Too bad I don't wanna be in Georgetown as often as I could. H&M has been WHACK. Club gear is aight, but other than that... *EH* And who shops at GAP? STRUCTURE aka EXPRESS MEN?! Ummm, NOT I. It's a travesty. I'm caught between a rock and hard place. (what exactly does that phrase mean?!) While I'd enjoy headin' over to Sisley to get some decent diggs, it's just not easily accessible to me. OK, why the hell am I brooding over this shit? Like it even matters to me anymore! I DON'T CARE! Banana Republic, sport your sweater shit if you want! I just won't buy it!

OMG. I think I'm bi-polar.