| The World I Know �Has our conscience shown? Has the sweet breeze blown? Has all the kindness gone? Hope still lingers on. I drink myself of newfound pity. Sitting alone in New York City. And I don�t know why.� Denial. So what is so wrong with denying something? I�ll tell you what is wrong with it, it�s first of all mentally unhealthy�.hah can you believe that I actually know something like that. Also denying something, you act as though it never happened, and well that can�t be good. If I act as though it never happened then maybe I can get on with my life. But images keep running through my mind. Flashes of me, the girl, and that lying son of a bitch. I can�t stop the picture that is playing like a bad romance chick flick, with no stop button and no mute to control the sound of the voices , the voices of them and�.my own. Want to throw up but can�t, nothing in my stomach. Want to run away but nowhere to run to. Want to hide, but you just can�t hide from the truth. I feel physically and mentally ill. I keep running that through that I could of stopped something�.something that I actually could have controlled and prevented yet; I didn�t. When I came to the scene, my mind was made up and what I saw is what I believed and I wasn�t going to let my gut or someone else tell me I was wrong. I ran. I ran home hoping I would find my answers. Found some of the answer and misery in a bottle, but hey, it helped a little, the pain I was feeling in my heart was becoming drowned in the sweet liquid. �Are we listening To hymns of offering? Have we eyes to see That love is gathering? All the words that I�ve been reading Have now started the act of bleeding Into one.� It did help to be home for a short period of time. I didn�t like it bringing up the past that I had tried so hard fighting, fighting to keep it from people that I knew and had no idea about my troubles�.I was even trying to fight to keep it out of my own mind. I can�t change. I can�t change even if I wanted too. This was the only way I knew how to be, and it�s the only way I know to be in a world like this. I world where men beat up on defenseless women. A world where cops don�t help people when they�re standing 2feet in front of them. NO, I won�t think like; that I have refused to. It wasn�t my fault�.oh denial is so wonderful sometimes. Denial can hide the present and the past in the vast darkness of the mind. Denial is my friend and always will be. So I walk up on high And I step to the edge To see my world below. And I laugh at myself As the tears roll down. �Cause it�s the world I know. It�s the world I know. |