It was our 7th wedding anniversary. I married Edd Simpson, 23rd August 2000. The day was perfect, all of our friends and families were there, we had a perfect honeymoon, and then a year later, our first child, Sarah was born. Along, three years later came our son, Willis, he was now 4, Sarah 6, and they had gone to stay with their uncle, Charlie for the weekend. It was the Sunday morning, 9am Edd and I lay in bed, recovering from the previous evening.
“Edd hunni?”
“Yeah?”
“Doesn’t matter” he obviously wasn’t in the mood to talk about our at the moment not quite perfect marriage. I didn’t want to risk yet another argument, it would have been our sixth that week, we agreed no arguments what so ever on our anniversary, that was yesterday, so I knew that one was going to happen eventually.
“Zoe I am fed up with you asking me something, and then you changing your mind when I ask you”
“Edd, I am fed up with you completely, you don’t help with the kids, you want your dinner on the table every night when you get home, you won’t let me go out to work, you expect me too do all of the cleaning, all of the cooking, everything”
“That’s what you’re meant to do”
“Edd, we aren’t stuck in the 17th century, maybe you should change your expectations of me”
“Yeah, yeah”
“I’m going to pick the kids up; I want this house tidy by the time I get back”
“What?”
“You heard me; you can do it for a change”
“Bitch”
“You’ll regret the moment you said that for the rest of our marriage, which at this rate isn’t going to be much longer” I bit my lip, waiting for his reply
“Yeah, because I’m going to the solicitors tomorrow, now get out of my house”
“Your house?”
“I paid for it; it’s my name on the rights”
“You think money makes the world go round don’t you?” he knew what I was saying was true “don’t you”
“Yes” I walked away, leaving him to ponder over his thoughts as I went into the bathroom and brushed my long blonde hair which now reached the middle of my back, I reached for a hair tie, pulling it into a loose bun, letting some strands fall across my face. I went back into our room, dressing into a black pencil skirt which I only normally wore for one of Edd’s work dinner parties or the countless weddings and christenings which we were dragged too, and a low cut, white top. I slowly blended in some foundation to my slightly tanned face, applying some mascara and lip-gloss, finishing with eye shadow.
“Zoe, I’m sorry, I need you” Edd said, slowly breathing down my neck, his fingers tracing a circle on my back “you know I love it when you dress like that” he said again seducing me, I could never stay in a bad mood for long with him. I stood there, still in silence, his fingers where now making his way up the back of my top and un-doing my Ann summers bra. “Am I forgiven?”
“Hunni, you are, but you need to let me have a career, I can’t stay here in the house all day, everyday. I get bored”
“Ok, if you must”
“I must” his hands moved from up the back of my top, after un-doing my bra, down onto my ass. He picked me up, resting me onto the edge of our bed, he pushed me backwards, kneeling over me, lowering himself down to kiss me, his eyes deep, as deep as the sea, as deep as the sky. He straightened up, pulling me with him, my shirt being removed in the progress. He only had boxer shorts on anyway; he looked at my chest, before slowly laying butterfly kisses over it, carefully biting around my nipples. He stood me up, his hands moving down towards my skirt, undoing the zip, he watched it fall to the floor, my hands now moving down his sides, the edges of my rounded nails tickling him slightly. He moved us into our bed, removing my final piece of clothing, and casting it aside with the rest of it. As I removed his boxers, he said
“I love you as much as the day I married you”
“Edd, I love you more than the day I married you, nothing you, or I say, will ever change that” he kissed me again, monovering so as he was laid on top of me. His legs around the outsides of mine, as he pushed into me, moving slowly at first, and then speeding up, his eyes looking continuously into mine, his gaze affixed on my face, not moving, as he edged closer to orgasm.
“Zoe… I … love… you… ooooooooooaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh” I felt a hot jet of his cum, being shot up against the back of my vagina wall. He collapsed down onto me, his chest heaving against mine. He kept himself in me, beginning to thrust, knowing that this would make him hard again, and make me orgasm, I felt myself moving closer too it, I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him deeper.
“Hunni, I love you too,” I said, biting my lip
“You don’t need to be quiet, the kids aren’t here” I remembered this, on the odd occasions that they weren’t there, neither was he, I let myself go
“Oooooaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh” the contractions of my vagina muscles began, making him cum simultaneously,
“Ooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh” he collapsed down onto me again, his breathing deep and rushed. We laid like this for an hour, until I realised that I had said to Charlie that we would pick the kids up before 11, it was 10.45, it left me quarter of an hour to get ready again, and get to his house, 9 miles away.
I arrived at Charlie's at 11.30
“Sorry I’m late Charlie,” I said through the intercom to his flat. I had changed into a short, white shift dress with white cork sandals. He opened the door “I and Edd had another argument”
“You 2 really do have an unhealthy relationship” I wondered why the hell I had gone with Edd instead with Charlie, I had had the chance, I chose Edd over the famous guy from that pop band busted, not wanting to jeopardise his recording contract with Matt and James.
“I know”
“Do you want a coffee?”
“Please” he walked into the kitchen; I looked into the living room, Willis and Sarah sitting in front of the TV, transfixed on Scooby Doo. I sat opposite Charlie, sipping my black coffee
“What was it about this time?” he asked
“It doesn’t matter”
“Zoe?”
“Well, you know how he ‘keeps’ me, well, I want to go out to work, just as a PA or something, because now Sarah and Willis are at school, there’s nothing for me too do, I cant just sit around, I get bored”
“I don’t know if this helps, or not, but I know Fletch needs a new PA, I can put a good word in for you”
“Please, thanks Charlie”
“And if you have another argument, just come round here, you’re always welcome”
“Thanks Charlie” I knew that choosing Edd was a stupid mistake, it was Charlie I wanted then, but I couldn’t ruin his career, it was too important for him. So, I chose Edd instead, he was more my age anyway, I’m a year older than Edd is, and three older than Charlie is. It made more sense for me to go with Edd.
“Willis, Sarah, do you want to go to the park?”
“Please mummy, can we go on our own?”
“As long as you’re careful, take my phone please, only answer if it comes up with Home, Edd, Charlie Mob, or Charlie Home”
“Ok mummy” they left.
I sat down next to Charlie on the sofa, my legs crossed at the knee,
“You know what, it will be good if u did get Fletch’s PA job”
“Why?”
“Cause then…”
“Then what?” I asked, knowing exactly where this was going
“There would be someone fit with us” I laughed, becoming slightly turned on by my brother in laws advances
“Ok” Charlie's arm slipped around my shoulder as we were still watching Scooby Doo, kissing me lightly on the head. I moved mine; his lips were now pressed against mine. We both knew this was wrong, yet, somehow, it felt right, we kissed, like we had along time ago, not caring if anyone else did. My old feelings that I had for Charlie, which were pushed too the back of my head were now right back at the front again. We continued kissing, our hands wandering, only too be stopped by Charlie’s phone ringing, it flashed up Zoe mobile
“It’s either Willis or Sarah”
“K” I answered it “hello”
“Mummy?”
“Willis, what’s the matter?”
“It’s Sarah; she’s fallen off of the climbing frame”
“I’ll be right there” I stood up, leaving Charlie
“What’s happened?”
“It’s Sarah; she’s fallen off of the climbing frame at the park”
“I’m coming with you” we ran quickly to the park, seeing Sarah lay crying in amongst a group of about 8 older children. I pushed my way in “you want me to get an ambulance?”
“Please” I didn’t dare say his name, in case he was recognised, I sat quietly, with Sarah’s deep red blood staining my dress
“Sssshhhhhhhh honey, don’t cry, please”
“I want daddy” I looked behind me, up at Charlie, nodded, I heard him speaking to Edd ‘Edd, Sarah’s had an accident, she wants you…yes, Zoe is here… I don’t think that right know she is too concerned about that… I don’t care if she asked you too do it, Sarah is your kid for fucks sakes… get here now, actually, get to the hospital… when you treat your wife right, I will treat you right’ Charlie slammed down the phone. Kneeling down next to me, holding Willis back from Sarah. The ambulance arrived, the paramedics taking Sarah, I went into the ambulance
“Sir, are you her father?” it was only Charlie and I who knew the terrible truth which had been kept from Edd, and Sarah
“No, but can I come with you?”
“Please, he’s her uncle, and I need somebody to help me look after Willis”
“We shouldn’t really, but, ok” Charlie stared over to me, his face full of sorrow and grief
“She’ll be ok, she’s got the two best parents” I smiled slightly, my heart beginning to warm for the first time in quite a long one.
**We arrived at the hospital, Edd was sat in the waiting room, his back too us
“I’m coming back too yours”
“K”
“I can’t go back with him, not tonight, Sarah, Sarah is our kid”
“Keep it down”
“He needs to find out eventually”
“Yes, but, not just now”
“K”
2 days later, Sarah left hospital, I was now staying with Charlie, Willis with Edd, and we decided that a trial separation was the best idea. 3 days after Sarah left hospital, she had a brain haemorrhage, causing her to die. I broke the news to Edd
“Edd, its Sarah, she died last night” the phone line went silent, Edd turned up at Charlie’s doorstep half an hour later. Charlie was doing top of the pops Saturday, so, was out of the flat.
“How?” he said through the intercom, she buzzed him in
“She had a brain haemorrhage”
“When?”
“Last night, she was in bed with me, Charlie came in too check on us, cause I wasn’t feeling too good, I was asleep, he phoned the ambulance”
“I knew she should have come home with me”
“So, its all my fault then I guess, as per usual, thanks a lot Edd, thanks a fucking bunch, its not even as if she’s yours”
“Slapper, whose is she then?” I stayed silent, not believing that I had just told him, I put my hand into my pocket, pressing the green button twice, knowing that the last person I called using my mobile was Charlie, I heard ‘hello’. “I said whose is it you dirty little slapper” as he said it, his fist flew across my stomach
“Ahhhhhh” I winced, holding my stomach, falling into a small heap in the corner of the room
“You’re a pathetic little bitch”
“Maybe if you hadn’t been cheating on me at the time, I wouldn’t have cheated on you”
“Who?” I buried my head into my knees “who?” I curled up, hoping that Charlie would be home soon “come on you little bitch, who?” he pulled me up, by my hair, his 6 foot 7 frame towering over mine of 5ft 2, as he spat down at me
“Daddy, stop it, daddy, why are you doing that to mummy, leave her alone” Edd turned around, looking at Willis; he knew that it would hurt me more to see one of my kids being hurt. He turned back at me; there was a small part of me knowing exactly what he would do next
“If you touch him, I swear, I will kill you” I ran in front of Willis, picking him up, running into the bathroom, and locking the door. Blood ran down the insides of my legs, killing any hope of a child reconciling us
“Mummy, why is daddy being horrible like that?”
“I don’t know Willis; I’m phoning Uncle Charlie ok?”
“Yes mummy” I dialled Charlie’s number again, I could hear the sound of gravel as he drove up the drive in his Porsche, as he answered
“Zoe? Where are you?”
“In the bathroom, I’ve got Willis”
“Stay there, I’ll be up in a minute”
“Hurry, please, he’s scaring me, I’ve never seen him like this before”
“I’m just coming up the stairs” I could here his steps through the bathroom wall, and then the door open. Then I heard a crash, one of them was on the floor, I guessed it was Charlie as soon as I heard the door slam, and sounds of somebody running down the stairs. I nervously opened the door
“Willis, stay here ok?”
“Yes mummy” he did as he was told, sitting down on the edge of the bath. I saw that Edd was gone, and Charlie still lay on the floor, his hand held on his chest
“Charlie?”
“Zoe?”
“Fuck, Charlie, what did he do?”
“It’s ok”
“No, no, no it isn’t, I should never of let you get involved, if I’d have just told him straight from the start, then this would never of happened”
“Zoe, calm down” I helped him up, sitting him down on the black leather sofa, and going back into the bathroom, finding some cotton wool and running some warm water from the tap
“Mummy, can I come out yet?”
“No hunny, not just yet” he sat back down, as I walked into the living room. I sat down next to Charlie, dipping a piece of the cotton wool into the water, him wincing a little as I pressed it too his bleeding eyebrow
“Charlie, what exactly did you say?”
“The truth, he had too find out, I didn’t want him to take it out on you, that wouldn’t have been fair” he looked up at me “Zoe, why are you bleeding?”
“Shit”
“Zoe?”
“I was pregnant, only about a month”
“You need to go to hospital”
“I will, but, lets you get sorted out first” I finished his eye, “you’ll need to get that sorted as well”
“You first” he stood up, picking up a vase which was knocked over, and a few magazines
“Ok, but, what about Willis?”
“We’ll drop him over to Matt’s”
“Ok” we walked out of the door, across the hall, and Charlie knocked on the door. Matt, opened it, seeing Charlie with a bad eyebrow
“What the fuck?”
“Matt, look after Willis for us, we need to go to hospital”
“Why?”
“We’ll explain later”
“Ok”
He drove us to hospital, sitting down in the waiting room, we were seen too quickly. I was moved to maternity, the baby removed from me easily. Charlie had his eyebrow checked, no problems, he came up to maternity, there were a few people looking at him
“Mrs Simpson, was this the person who attacked you”
“No, it’s my brother in law, it was my husband who hit me, and he hit him as well”
“Ok, we’re finished here, you’ll be ok, we’ll just go get the forms to discharge you” the procedure that they had done was just like an abortion, removed quickly. We arrived back at the flat, photographers outside; I cowered against Charlie, not wanting everybody to see me. We walked inside, Charlie walking hurriedly up the stairs, me following; we went into Matt’s flat
“So, what happened?” I looked across at Charlie, he shook his head
“It, er, doesn’t matter”
“Zoe, it does matter, Charlie's got 2 stitches, and you were bleeding, and now you’re not”
“Matt, it really doesn’t matter, not now”
“Charlie?” Matt looked across at Charlie, Charlie looked back
“Matt, not now”
“Okay, you want me to look after Willis for a bit?”
“Please matt” We collected Willis 4 hours later, before going out, avoiding all photographers by going to a quiet place in the midlands for a few days, sorting everything out, I had sufficient evidence to have Edd charged for abuse, but I didn’t want too, just a divorce.
“Charlie, I wish I had never married Edd, you instead”
“Zo, you know I’ve always loved you, me having to be Edd’s best man, that was agony for me, I spent the whole ceremony wishing it was me stood where he was, and the whole reception trying to stay away from you. So I couldn’t ruin it, and then you had your first argument when you’d been married for 3 months, I was the one that you went to, no – one else, me, I knew from that point that you loved me. And when you kept Sarah, knowing she was mine that was what confirmed it for me, that I was the one that you wanted, answer me one question, why did you say yes to Edd?”
“Because I knew that if I married him, I’d still be close to you, and I didn’t want to ruin your career”
“Zoe, you are the reason behind my career, you are all my inspiration, you mean everything too me”
A year passed Charlie and myself still together, Willis had learnt to accept that uncle Charlie was now daddy, and that daddy didn’t have anything to do with them anymore. I got the job as Fletch’s PA, travelling everywhere with the guys, becoming even closer to Charlie, Willis stayed most of the time with my mother, loving every second that I was with him.
Charlie, Matt, James, Fletch, and myself were at party in the park, a rare occasion where Willis could be with me
“Mummy?”
“Hunny?”
“Can I go sit on the side of the stage when Charlie is on?”
“Yeah, but make sure you stay behind the curtain”
“Yes mummy”
“Guys, you’re on next” Fletch called, Matt, Charlie, and James walked into a circle “1, 2, 3... Go” they ran onto stage, the crowd cheered, chants of ‘Busted, Busted, Busted, Busted’ came through to the backstage area. I smiled, walking up the ramp, Willis stood right up to the curtain, singing along every word to ‘sleeping with the light on’. Charlie looked over from the stage to the side where we were stood, smiling; I blew him a kiss. They were on stage for half an hour; they then had to do an interview for T4, and then back on stage for an acoustic cover. Coming off stage
“Zoe, I think we need to talk”
“What?” he looked at me “Mum, take Willis a minute”. We walked into his dressing room “hunni, what’s the matter?”
“Its Edd, he wants to file for custody of Willis”
“What? Why? Who told you?”
“He says that you’re an unfit mother for working away from him, and I spoke to mum last night, she told me”
“Ok, so the fact that I have a steady relationship, a good job, a good house, and he’s at school means nothing”. He looked down at me, a tear rolling down my cheek, wiping it away with his thumb, and brushing my long, blonde hair away from my face, smudged with black stains of mascara. My world being torn away from me “Willis doesn’t need this, he’s happy at school, Edd’s moved back to Ipswich, he’ll have too move, that isn’t fair on him”
“Look, the courts will take everything into perspective, the police will have something to say about, I’m sure, and the doctors, cause of him hitting you, and a mother is almost always given custody”
“Yeah, but what if it’s one of those times when they don’t, and I loose my child, I’ve lost one, and I don’t plan on loosing another”
“Zoe, Zoe, wake up, we’ve got the court case today” I slowly pulled my eyes open, Charlie looking down on me, a cup of coffee in his hand. It was to be the first time I had seen Edd in over 18 months, since the day that he beat me.
“Thanks Charlie, thanks for being here for me”
“Zoe, what do you mean? I’d have been here for you even if I didn’t love you more than anyone else in the world. What Edd did was wrong”. a tear fell down my face again, his thumb immediately meeting it, wiping it away, a kiss falling onto my lips “Zoe, Willis is still asleep, we’ve got enough time, only if you want too” he said, his hands moving down the sides of my body. I looked up at him, his eyes full of hope
“Mmmmmhmmmmm” I rested my hands around his neck, is arms suspending him as he slowly pushed himself into me, resting as I looked up at him again, before he slowly started to thrust into me “Charlie, I love you” his speed quickened from my comment
“I love you too…marry me”
“Yeah” I had the fuzzy feeling in my stomach again, telling me that he was right for me, a feeling I never had with Edd
“Zoe, I’m going to” he pushed onto me for the final time “ooooooooaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”
“Mmmmmhmmmmm, me too” I bit my lip, Charlie leaning down to kiss me, as he did, I came, we collapsed down together, Charlie reaching into his jeans pocket, pulling out something
“I know I was meant to give you this when I asked, but, it wouldn’t really have been convenient, what with the position that we were in” I laughed. I heard Willis start to slowly open the door; I pulled the covers back over us
“Mummy? Can I watch the TV?”
“Sure hunny, I’ll be out in minute”
We arrived at the court at 11.30, our solicitor waiting outside for us, we walked inside, sitting down in a private room, I was doing my statement by video link, not being able to face Edd, Charlie was with me, Willis again with my mother.
(1/2 an hour later)
“Mr Simpson, could you please put your case forward to the courts”
“I would like to go for full custody of my son, Willis Simpson”
“Thank you Mr Simpson, we would like to ask you a few questions”
“Please proceed”
“Mr Simpson, is it true that you beat your ex-wife because your child died?”
“No comment”
“Mr Simpson, is it true that that child was yours?”
“No comment”
“Mr Simpson, your co-operation would be greatly appreciated” the judge said, a smug look on Edd’s face wiped away
“Mr Simpson, was your wife having an affair when you split”
“No, but she had, had one with my younger brother” there was as sudden silence
“I would like to call Mr Charles Simpson to the stand” Charlie left the room, walking into the main court room
“Mr Simpson, you are in a relationship with Ms Wheeler, living with her and her son?”
“Yes”
“If you don’t mind asking, what is your occupation?”
“I’m in the music industry”
“How long do you stay away from your house?”
“About 30 weeks a year”
“And, is Ms Wheeler anything to do with your career?”
“Yes, she’s our managers PA”
“So, how long does she spend away from home?”
“About a week a year, only when absolutely necessary”
“Thank you Mr Simpson, you may stand down” the judge paused for a few seconds “I would now like to call DCI Burnman to the stand”. DCI walked up to the stand “DCI Burnman; am I right in believing that you were the police officer who dealt with this case before you were promoted”
“Yes, that is right”
“Could you please comment on the case”
“Yes” there was a lump in the DCI’s throat, he hated talking about abuse cases, and most police officers did. “This case was the last abuse case which I dealt with before my promotion, and one of the worse I have seen. Mr Simpson, and Ms Wheeler’s child had just died, this was after a separation. It has been discovered, that there was an argument over whether Ms Wheeler, was a good enough mother. There was then a comment over an affair, which Mr Simpson had had 7 years previously, soon after their marriage, and how this lead to Ms Wheeler sleeping with Mr Charles Simpson, thus leading to Ms Wheeler’s pregnancy. It has been found that it is at this point where Edward turned abusive, threatening to hurt their other child, Willis. Mr Charles Simpson then arrived, taking a blow to his head from his elder brother” the DCI cleared a lump from his throat. “We have some pictures of Ms wheeler’s, and Mr Simpson’s injuries, you can clearly see the initial bruises on Ms Wheeler’s stomach, and arms, and also the stitches which were required by Mr Simpson on his eyebrow. This blow to her stomach also lead to her miscarrying her, and Edward’s child”. There was a look of alarm on Edd’s face, he didn’t know of this, and as soon as Zoe heard him saying this she looked up at Charlie, shaking her head, she rested it back on his shoulder, swaying slightly.
“Thank you DCI Burnman, you may now stand down” the judge re-arranged his papers, “court adjourned, meet again at 2.15” I looked down at my watch that Charlie had given me for my birthday a month previously, that gave us an hour. I walked out of the court hand in hand with Charlie, the diamond from my ring glistening in the mid October sunshine. I felt a rip in my stomach as I saw Edd with his new girlfriend Jenni, her brown hair looked glossy from behind, the red underneath making it shine. We headed in the opposite direction from them, sitting down in a small café called ‘chez Bella’. We sat and talked for the time in which we had free, mainly about what we were going to do, when we got Willis, we where pretty sure that we would, after the doctor brought up the abuse incident.
When 2.15 came, Charlie and I sat back in the room, Charlie’s hands held mine tightly, he was knelt at my feet, as he saw a tear begin to fall from my eye.
“Hey, baby, it’ll be ok, I promise you, we will get Willis, if we don’t, then we’ll appeal.” Charlie said as I knelt on the floor, whilst listening to everything which was going on. The marble floor was cold against my knees as my arms rested on his hips
“Thank you for being here with me,” I said softly, my head rested on his shoulder
“Have the Jury come to a conclusion?” The judge asked. This was it; I knew that they had as soon as the most senior member of the jury stood
“Yes” the man aged around 50 said, looking at his notes “we have”
“Could you please relay this to the court, how do you find the defendant?” the judge asked,
“We find the defendant guilty of abuse, and believe that Ms Wheeler, and Mr C Simpson should have full custody of Willis Simpson, due to Mr E Simpson's abusive nature which has been brought about by DCI Burnman’s evidence which was shown to the court”