Prologue
Me and Matt had been inseparable since birth. His mum and my mum were best friends so we spent the majority of our infant lives around each others houses. Infact, according to my mum, 'Matt' was my first proper word. Matt was about 2 months older than me and always looked after me like I was a member of his family. I always remember sitting around his house when my mum had gone shopping on her own. One time, I started crying because Matt wouldn't share his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures. As soon as he saw I was crying, he handed me one and gave me a hug. I had a lot to thank him for, he'd always been there for me and always stood up for me in an argument. He once lost his playtimes at primary school for kicking a girl who'd been bullying me. He was just like my big brother. When we moved to secondary school, he was put in the same class with me, but that was when we briefly fell out. Matt decided it was seriously uncool for one of the boys to hang out with one of the girls and therefore decided that he couldn't talk to me anymore. I cramped his style. When we moved into Year 8, Matt eventually decided he'd been a prat and we became friends again, even stronger than we had been before. When I got my first boyfriend, Matt was there as the shoulder to cry on when it all fell apart. Matt would always tell me who I should and shouldn't go out with. When I ignored his suggestions and ended up getting hurt, he never once said, 'I told you so'. All through my GCSE's he always managed to keep my spirits up, even though, inside, you could tell he was feeling like utter crap as well. We both passed and luckily, he ended up going to the same college as me. Matt got himself a girlfriend during the holidays. A girl I didn't particularly like. She was in our year and her name was Jennifer. She liked to think of herself as the bad girl about town. When I say bad girl about town, I mean she was basically the town's bully. That didn't seem to bother Matt though. He fell for her good looks and skimpy clothing. I never really told him what I thought of her, I just went along with it for his sake, but deep down, I could tell that she wasn't as sweet as she made herself out to be.
I stood just outside the college gates with my mates on the first Monday back after the Christmas holidays. Kirsty was telling us some of the things her little sister had done on Christmas day such as pulling the Christmas tree over. I noticed Matt walking, alone, towards college.
"Matt!" I shouted, walking over to him. He looked up, smiled at me and walked over to me as well. I rarely saw him alone these days. Sometimes he'd come over in the evenings when he had nothing to do but no matter how little I saw of him, he was still the same Matt.
"How are you?" he asked as he hugged me tightly. My arms went around his back and I squeezed him closer to me. I noticed that he flinched slightly.
"What's up?" I asked as we pulled apart.
"What do you mean?"
"You just flinched when I hugged you" I told him, looking into his eyes.
"It's nothing, I just hurt my back when I was helping my dad with something."
"What were you doing?" Matt paused for a second.
"I was doing something under the car and there was this nail lying there, I scraped my whole back on it,"
"Lets have a look" I said. He hesitated for a second and slowly lifted up the back of his t-shirt to reveal a long scratch going across his back. He shuddered as I ran my finger along it.
"That's nasty, you should get it checked out." Matt pulled his top down and turned back to face me.
"It's nothing, I'm fine. I'll see you later okay." With that, he walked off leaving me a tiny bit confused.
"Is he alright?" asked Aesha as I walked back over.
"He didn't really say,"
"Where's Jennifer?" asked Kirsty. "They're usually joined at the hip," I shrugged.
"Something seemed up with him, maybe they've split up," I said as we walked into the building.
"You gonna talk to him?" Aesha said, pulling the door open. I nodded.
"He's my best friend, I need to find out what's up with him," At that moment, Matt walked into the classroom, a look of anger across his face.
"Good luck," whispered Aesha as we sat at our desks.
At lunch, I decided to grab Matt and talk it over with him. After searching for about 20 minutes, I eventually found him behind the toilets, smoking.
"Hey," I said quietly as I approached him. He looked up at me and smiled weakly.
"Want one?" he asked, offering me the cigarette packet. I shook my head. He closed the lid and stuffed the box back in his bag. "So, how are you?" he asked, leaning back against the wall.
"I was going to ask you the same thing,"
"What do you mean?"
"You just seemed really out of it this morning. Like you were on another planet. Where's Jennifer?"
"She's ill," he told me quickly.
"What's the matter with her?"
"She's got a stomach bug or something, she didn't really tell me." Something seemed strange in the way he was acting.
"Are you sure you're all right, you can talk to me you know." he smiled at me and hugged me.
"I know. Sorry if I've been a bit off with you, I've just had a lot of things on my mind. Coursework and shit, it's just getting too much for me at the moment," he sighed.
"Well if you ever want some time out, you can always come round mine. I'm there most of the time. Actually, just go round even if I'm not there. My mum will be there if you need someone to talk to," he smiled at me.
"Cheers Emma, but stop worrying about me, I'm going to be fine."
"You keep saying that but I don't think you are. You seem so angry and stressed all the time." I wasn't sure how he was going to react to that so I stood nervously.
"If I need you, I'll come and get you," he smiled. I nodded and walked away. What he had just said, briefly translated as 'If I want your help, I'll ask for it,' that was just the polite version.
When I sat at home that night, I thought about Matt. It was quite possible that his back had been scratched on a nail but I somehow didn't believe him. There was something about the way he was acting that told me that something deeper down was the matter. I wanted to know what it was, but since he'd started dating Jennifer, we hadn't been as close as we used to be. I couldn't call him because we never had anything to say over the phone anymore. To say I missed my phone calls and long conversations with Matt is an understatement. Somedays, all I want is to sit down and just catch up on everything we've missed. I hear a lot of Matt's news through my mum nowadays and it's definitely not the same. While I was thinking, the phone rang. I ran downstairs and picked it up.
"Hello?" I said, putting the phone to my ear.
"Oh, hello Emma, It's Linda," Matt's mum regularly rang our house to chat to my mum.
"Oh, Hi, mum's just gone out but I can get her to ring you back if you want," I told her.
"Oh no, it was actually you I wanted to talk to,"
"Me?" I said, confused.
"Yes, I've noticed that Matt's been a bit down recently,"
"Yeah, I've noticed that as well."
"Oh, do you have any idea what's the matter with him?"
"No, I tried to talk to him today at school but he said he didn't want to talk about it." Linda paused for a little while.
"Do you think you could come over when your mum comes tomorrow?"
"Um, I should be able to yeah,"
"Good, maybe you'll be able to get something out of him,"
"I'll try,"
"Thank you, I'll see you tomorrow then,"
"Yeah, bye," I hung up and thought about what I was going to say to Matt the next day.
The next day at school, Matt arrived without Jennifer again. When I saw him, he was wearing his hood on his hoodie up. If I didn't recognise his clothes, I wouldn't have known it was him.
"Matt!" I shouted, running over to him. He looked up. "What's up with the hood?" I asked as I neared him.
"I'm just a bit cold, that's all," he mumbled.
"Matt, it's boiling today," I told him, confused.
"Well you might think so but I don't" he said through gritted teeth.
"Why are you being like this with me?" I asked. "You just keep blocking me out. I'm your friend, I can tell there's something wrong." He sighed.
"Look Emma, I'm just stressed out at the moment and people asking me what the matter is all the time doesn't really help the situation."
"Maybe if you told someone then it wouldn't be as much of a stress." I suggested, hoping that he would maybe tell me something.
"If I show you something, you have to promise not to tell anyone at all."
"Promise," I said, smiling at him. He took my hand and dragged me behind a tree near the college gates. He slowly took his hood off to reveal a massive bruise that took up the majority of his left cheek. It went around his eye as well. "Shit, how the fuck did you do that?" I asked hugging him.
"I walked into a door," I pulled away and looked up at him.
"You expect me to believe that?"
"Well it's true." I tutted. "Emma, why can't you just believe me for once in your life?"
"Because it's bullshit Matt. You never walked into a door, it's just a lame excuse." He rolled his eyes.
"I don't get you. You start fussing over me, asking me what's the matter and what's happened, then you don't believe me when I do tell you. Thanks a lot. What happened to trusting each other? We used to do it all the time when we were little, now you don't even trust me to look after myself. You've really changed." He went to walk off but I grabbed his arm.
"No Matt, you've changed. You never used to be like this. You never used to be all stressy and you sure as hell never used to be all mysterious. You never wanted to keep yourself to yourself. You always wanted us to share our problems and help each other out. Now you're just pushing everyone away. I dunno what's happened to you." I shouted. He turned back to face me.
"I've grown up and I've moved on. Maybe you should do the same," he scowled. I let go of his arm and watched as he walked away.
That night, I tried desperately to get out of going to Matt's house, but mum was having none of it. I'd promised Linda I was going, therefore, I was going. Whether Matt was talking to me or not. When we arrived on the doorstep, I kept nagging mum to make the visit short and sweet. Then I wouldn't be stuck with him for very long. Linda answered the door.
"Hi, Emma, Matt's in his room, just go up." Usually, if I'd been told just to go up to Matt's room, I would have bounded up the stairs two at a time. Today, I walked a bit more slowly. As I stood outside his door, a Foo Fighters poster staring back at me, I was contemplating what to say. Slowly, my hand reached up and I knocked the way I always did.
"What?" came Matt's voice on the other side of the door. I slowly turned the handle and let myself in, half expecting a stream of abuse. Matt, who was sitting on his bed reading a magazine, looked up at me.
"Oh, what do you want?" he asked, emotionlessly. I shut the door behind me.
"To talk, I don't want us to fall out," I said, standing nervously, waiting for a response. He sighed and put away his magazine.
"I know, I'm sorry I snapped at you, I just didn't want a big fuss," I walked over and sat at the foot of his bed.
"So, are we mates again?" I asked. He grinned at me and pulled me in for a hug.
"Of course we are." I sat back. The swelling on his bruise had gone down a little bit but it still looked really sore.
"So which door did you walk into then?" I asked, looking him in the eye. He smiled and shook his head.
"You know I didn't walk into a door. I got punched a couple of times."
"Who by?"
"It doesn't matter, it's sorted now." I shook my head at how stubborn he was and lay back so my head was rested on his chest.
"Matt, Jennifer's here to see you," shouted Linda up the stairs. Matt sat bolt upright and pulled me up with him.
"What are you doing?" I asked him as he pulled me over to the cupboard. He flung the doors open and pushed me in.
"Look, just stay in here, I'll explain later," he slammed the doors shut and I sunk to the floor. Through a tiny crack between the doors, I realised I could see everything that was going on. Jennifer walked through the door and Matt walked over and kissed her. As long as they didn't start getting too heavy with each other, I was going to be fine where I was.
"Baby, I came to apologise about last night. It was really wrong of me and I was really out of order." she mumbled in her, oh-so-annoying voice. I could see she had her arms wrapped firmly around Matt's neck and he was stroking her cheek.
"Hey, it's okay, don't worry about it," he replied. Something was definitely up between the two of them and I wasn't exactly sure of what it was.
"It looks really bad though, I didn't think they were that tough on you," she said. Suddenly the penny dropped. She had something to do with Matt getting beaten up.
"It looks worse than it is," Matt replied in a sickly tone.
"So we're still okay?" she asked. Matt just nodded.
"Look, I hope you don't get upset, but can you go? I just feel really ill and I want to get an early night," he lied.
"What's the matter with you?"
"I think I just caught what you had but I'll be fine,"
"Well I'll see you soon baby," she kissed him and let go of him.
"See you," he said, sitting back on the bed. I waited until I heard the front door slam and climbed out of the cupboard.
"So are you going to tell me what really happened? Or are you sticking by your original story?" I asked. He looked up at me and actually looked scared.
"I told Jen I was going to go round her house yesterday to see her because she felt ill. I said I'd go at 4, as soon as I got out of college but I didn't turn up until 5:30. I had to drop some work off here first and then I had to do a couple of things for my mum." I nodded, concentrating on the story. "When I got there she started shouting at me for being late and accused me of cheating on her. Her brothers heard and she just stood there while they beat me up," I sat shocked. Matt was still going out with her after all that. He lifted up his T-shirt. On his stomach was a curved red line. "She hit me with the iron in the stomach a couple of weeks ago,"
"Was that thing on your back anything to do with her?" he nodded.
"She threw a glass at me but missed. It hit the wall and smashed, went all over the floor. She pushed me over and I cut my back in the glass. It went right through my t-shirt,"
"Matt, why are you putting yourself through this?" I asked "You can't possibly love her."
"Part of me does but the other part of me just can't stand her. I don't even know why I do it to myself. I think I'm just scared that If I leave her, I'll never find anyone else who cares for me,"
"She doesn't care for you,"
"Well, someone who I can rely on and someone who I can be there for,"
"You can be there for me." He didn't have a reply for that. He just shifted closer to me.
"I care so much for you Emma. I'm just scared that if I care for you too much, I'm going to hurt you in some way," I looked into his eyes and smiled. I placed my hand on his cheek and kissed him. Although it was meant as a friendly kiss, it felt like something more. Matt pulled away.
"No, I have a girlfriend," he told me. I shook my head.
"You've just told me you don't love her."
"No I didn't." he said defensively.
"Matt, even if you do love her, she doesn't love you. Do you think she'd beat you up?"
"She said sorry,"
"Yeah, and what about the time when she beats you up so much you end up in hospital, will sorry be good enough then? And what if she hurts you so much, she kills you. One little word isn't enough to make up for what everyone will have lost. You're a great person and you're worth so much more than sorry. You deserve someone who loves you and respects you for who you are,"
"You?" he said, practically smirking at me.
"I never said that, I just said not her. She doesn't deserve you."
"Look, I'll think about it and when I make a decision, you'll be the first to know," he hugged me.
"I just hope you know what you're doing," I whispered.
The next morning, on the way to school, I thought over what had happened with Matt the previous night. He seemed scared of her. I wanted him to make the right choice but I was still worried he'd end up getting hurt in the end. When I reached college, Matt was already there, something that was extremely unusual. He smiled at me and walked over.
"Where's Jennifer?" I asked. He nodded towards the building.
"She's in there, but I need to talk to you first." He took my hand and led me in the opposite direction to the way I was walking.
"Where are we going?"
"I just want there to be no chance that she sees I'm talking to you, she's not exactly your biggest fan," I sniggered.
"Yeah, well the feelings mutual." We stopped at a bench just down the road. "So what did you want to talk to me about," I asked him, chucking my bag on the bench. He looked at me and bit his lip. "What!" I shouted. There was definitely something funny in the way he was acting. He quickly placed his hand on my cheek and pulled me in for a kiss. It was the most passionate kiss I had ever experienced. When I pulled apart out of breath, he smiled at me. "I thought you said you had a girlfriend," I managed to pant. He shook his head.
"I thought through what you said and you're right. I'm going to dump her."
"About fucking time. But what's the deal with practically sucking my face off?" I smiled. He shrugged.
"Dunno really, I just wanted to do it,"
"Okay, well just warn me next time." He nodded and walked me back towards college. I didn't really see him through the rest of the day but waited excitedly for him outside after lessons were over. It was going to be the beginning of the rest of our lives and, considering how he'd kissed me earlier, maybe it would be together. Aesha saw me and walked over to me.
"What are you so happy about?" she grinned.
"Nothing," I grinned back. She rolled her eyes.
"Come on, It's either a boy or money. My guess is the first one," I looked at her and she stared straight back at me, eyebrows raised and a grin on her face. She knew me too well and knew that I would tell all under the slightest interrogation.
"Its Matt."
"Isn't it always," she sighed.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Well everyone can see how important he is to you. He's all you talk about,"
"He's a mate," I told her, "And anyway, you haven't heard what I'm going to say yet,"
"Go on then," she sighed.
"This goes no further than me and you, promise,"
"Brownie promise,"
"You're not a brownie," she shrugged.
"Doesn't mean I don't want to be," I shook my head and laughed.
"He's dumping Jennifer,"
"And....."
"And I think he's going to ask me out," I shrieked.
"And you're gonna say no right,"
"Are you crazy?" I laughed,
"I thought you just said that he was a mate,"
"Well yeah he is, but...... Oh, I dunno, I suppose I do fancy him," I suddenly became aware that Aesha was watching something behind me. I turned and what I saw bought my whole world crashing down around me. Matt was walking hand in hand with Jennifer, he was laughing, she was giggling her head off.
"You alright Emma," Aesha asked, placing her hand on my shoulder. I nodded.
"I knew it was too good to be true," I sighed.
That night, Matt rang me just so we could talk. For some reason I just couldn't pretend to be enthusiastic about the call, I was still angry at him about earlier.
"I didn't see you at the end of school," he said.
"Oh, I saw you," I replied emotionlessly.
"Really, when? Why didn't you say hello?" he asked
"Because you were with her," There was silence from his end of the phone. I heard him take a deep breath.
"Oh," was all he could manage to say.
"Yeah, that's what I said when I saw you,"
"I can explain, I promise,"
"You said you were going to dump her and you obviously didn't, why the change of heart?" I asked angrily.
"I dunno," he moaned. "I saw her and just couldn't bring myself to do it. I will, I promise you,"
"And will that be the excuse tomorrow? And the next day? At this rate you'll still be dating next year." For some reason, I felt tears welling up in my eyes. It felt like he had totally betrayed me. He kissed me and made me think that he wanted me, yet still, obviously, had feelings for someone else. I'd always promised myself that I'd never be the person that someone cheated on their girlfriend with and I wasn't going to make Matt the exception. No matter how much I cared about him.
"I'll do it tomorrow. As long as you come with me,"
"Me? You can't drag me into this," I told him.
"No, you can stop me backing out," he explained. "Please?" he begged. I sighed.
"Go on then."
"I owe you one,"
"If she lays into me, it's up to you to stop her,"
"Of Course I will, I won't let her hurt you," he promised me.
Matt called for me on his way to college the next morning. I was quite surprised to see him standing there considering my house was in the wrong direction for him to just drop by.
"Ready?" he asked, holding out his hand.
"Uh, yeah, I suppose so," I eventually managed to stutter. "You aren't expecting me to walk hand in hand with you are you?" I asked, grabbing my bag and my folder and shutting the door behind me.
"Yeah, why not?" he asked, hurt.
"Because that's something that couples do," I told him, walking down the garden path. He followed behind me.
"Aren't we a couple then?" he asked. I stopped and turned to face him.
"What?"
"I said, aren't we a couple? I thought you wanted to be,"
"You thought I wanted to be?" He nodded.
"Well you didn't stop me when I kissed you,"
"I know but...." I trailed off as I realised that his lips were now centimetres from mine.
"But what?" he asked, a slight grin forming. Inside, my brain was telling me to kiss him yet my conscience was telling me to turn away and carry on walking. "Emma?" his voice snapped me out of my mental battle, causing my brain to overpower my conscience completely. I pressed my lips against his and waited for him to react. He moved my hands around his waist and his tongue moved my lips apart. It moved inside my mouth and slowly massaged mine. My hands moved up his back and I felt his hands wander down and hold my bum. I moved one hand behind me and whacked his hands away, causing him to stumble back from me. "What the hell did you do that for?" he asked, clutching his hand.
"Why do you think?" I smiled, turning and walking towards the footpath through the park.
"What? Because I felt your arse?"
"Yes!!"
"What's wrong with that?" He asked, having to jog to catch up with me.
"Just don't,"
"Why? You're not ashamed of it are you?"
"Matt can we stop talking about my arse, please," I begged.
"Just tell me why and then the conversation stops, simple as that," I sighed and stopped.
"Because I think it's pervy, that's all." He grinned at me.
"Okay then, I won't do it again." I spotted Jennifer and her gang of friends at the other park gate.
"Shit Matt, they're over there," I whispered. He looked and put his arm around me.
"Come on, the sooner we get this over and done with, the better." With his hand still wrapped around my waist, he led me over to them. Slowly their conversation stopped and Jennifer turned to face us.
"Matt, what are you doing with her?" she asked, giving me the dirtiest look ever.
"Jen, I really need to talk to you about something,"
"What?"
"Look about you and me. I really think it's time to call it a day."
"What do you mean 'call it a day?� she whined. "Are you splitting up with me?"
"In a word, yes," Matt told her. I pulled my hand out of Matt's grip and just stood. Matt quickly took my hand back in his. Murmurs started going around her friends. I could feel eyes watching me and I decided to keep my eyes fixed on the floor.
"What have you been telling him?" she shouted. I decided to meet her gaze. "Have you been getting off with my boyfriend?" I knew denying it wasn't the best thing considering we'd kissed about 5 minutes previously.
"What?" I asked, slightly dazed by the whole situation.
"Leave Emma out of this," Matt told her firmly.
"No, I expect that little bitch has been poisoning your brain. Telling you loads of horrible stories about me. Telling you that I'm a nasty selfish bitch. I expect she even told you to dump me. She's always hated me since I pushed her over in the playground when I was like 6" She shouted. She turned her attentions to me. "You need to grow up, move on. This isn't year 1 any more, this is the real world. Matt always told me that he thought you were like a little limpet, always clinging on to him, and he's right" She shouted. I looked up at Matt angrily and let go of his grip once more.
"She's lying Emma. Just ignore her." he told me, taking my hand in his again. I repeated that last sentence over and over in my head hoping that it was true.
"Ignore me?" She shouted again. "You can't ignore me Matt!" she bellowed. Matt screwed up his face and looked at her, half in amusement and half in confusion.
"What the hell are you talking about?" he laughed.
"I'm pregnant Matt," she screamed, "I'm having your baby!" For the third time I let go of Matt's hand but this time, I ran off out of the gate and in the direction of college. I could feel Matt running after me and I could hear him shouting my name. My eyes filled up with tears and I slowed down to try and give myself a chance to see where I was going through my blurred vision. As I slowed my pace, Matt managed to catch up with me. He grabbed me and spun me round to face him. I shook out of his grip and turned to run off again but he was too quick. He grabbed me and pulled me to face him again.
"GET OFF ME MATT" I screamed. My fists thumped him in the chest. He stood there taking it for a minute or two before grabbing my wrists and holding my fists to his chest.
"STOP IT!" he shouted. The anger in his voice scared me. I stopped struggling and burst into more tears. "Emma, please." he begged.
"No Matt. I've had enough with you screwing my head up. I don't know what to think any more. My head has never been this messed up before and it's all down to you. I wish I'd just let her beat you until you really did get hurt!" I screamed. "Then you'd know how this feels. To have your head messed with, to be lied to, to be betrayed. You can't even imagine."
"Emma. Please, I never meant for you to get hurt."
"I can't believe you got her pregnant," I cried.
"I didn't, we always used a condom, she was on the pill........" I could see tears in his eyes as well.
"Matt I don't want your sexual life story. All I know is that she's telling me and you, that she's pregnant with your kid. How do you think that makes me feel. You told me it was over between you, you told me you wanted to go out with me. We can't do that if you have a child lurking in a background."
"I don't care about her. You're my priority now. I've upset you so much and I'm going to make it up to you,"
"Matt, you can't ignore her, she's having your baby," I sobbed.
"I don't want a child. I just want you," His tears eventually spilled out.
"Matt don't," His hands moved to my chin and his thumbs flicked away the mixture of tears, mascara and eyeliner that was running down my cheeks. I looked into his red eyes.
"We're going to sort this out. Everything I said to you about us being a couple, still stands. It'll work between us. I'll make it work. For you," I smiled. I reached up on my tip toes and kissed him softly. He responded to the kiss and smiled. "Fancy bunking college?" he asked. I shook my head.
"She'll tell them, we can't. We'll get in too much trouble." Matt nodded and took my hand, pulling me towards college.
Matt cornered me in the corridor during the day to tell me he had to stay behind at the end of the day to finish off some art he was doing. Whilst he was talking to me, I could feel the eyes of Jennifer and her cronies burning into my back. I walked home on my own that night and It was possibly one of the worst decisions of my life to date. I walked through the park and quickened my pace, wanting to get home before it got dark. I felt the presence of someone behind me and therefore quickened my pace again. I knew there was more than one of them and my guess was Jennifer. I was put out of my misery when someone shouted loudly at me.
"Oi, Emma," I recognised the voice as the one I was expected and ignored it. "Hey don't ignore me, you stupid slag." Although her comments were hurting me, I still managed to ignore them. Suddenly, I felt a tug on the hood of my hoodie and I stumbled backwards. "I said not to ignore me bitch." I struggled but realised I was getting nowhere.
"Get off me," I yelled, hitting at her hands with mine. She tightened her grip and pulled me on to the ground. She looked down on me and smirked.
"You're not so clever now, are you?" she spat. She pulled me up and looked me in the eye. I saw her make a fist and screamed out in pain as it connected to my lip. I touched where it had connected delicately with my fingers and tasted blood on my tongue. "You better stop fucking my boyfriend," she told me through gritted teeth. I rolled my eyes.
"One, he's not your boyfriend anymore, and two, I'm not fucking him," I saw rage well up in her eyes and wasn't at all surprised when she punched me hard in the cheek. I fell backwards, on to the floor and her foot connected with my stomach. She continuously kicked me and her mates just stood by and watched. Suddenly, I felt the kicking stop and heard her let out a little scream. I opened my eyes and saw two people dragging Jennifer backwards. One of them saw my eyes open and knelt down next to me.
"Emma, are you okay?" the guy asked. My eyes focused and I recognised the face as James, one of Matt's mates in our year at college. I nodded and started to pull myself up. Jennifer scrambled out of the other guys grip and ran off. James put an arm around me and I stood up. I saw the other guy was Charlie. Charlie was another member of Matt's vast circle of friends. He still went to the local comprehensive. He hooked a finger under his school tie and pulled it off.
"Shit, I knew she was going to do something like that.," I managed to say, clutching my stomach. James nodded.
"So did Matt, that's why he sent us after you." I smiled.
"At least someone has my back covered." James nodded sadly
"You're really hurt, We'll come back with you," he said, putting an arm around me. I shook my head.
"You really don't have to do that,"
"We want to," Charlie piped up. I nodded.
"Okay, as long as you promise to help me clean myself up," James smiled.
"What sort of gentlemen would we be if we didn't," I shrugged.
"You're not exactly gentlemen now, are you!" Charlie smiled.
"We make better gentlemen than you'll ever be!" I laughed, but then stopped as pain rushed through my body.
"You alright?" James asked, his hand automatically reaching around my back again. I nodded.
"It just really hurts." Charlie looked thoughtful for a moment and then crouched down.
"Get on my back, I'll give you a piggy back," I smiled and put my arms around his neck. My legs wrapped around his torso and he stood up. We walked back, pretty much in silence.
Although me and Charlie weren't exactly close, he knew where to go. He lived a couple of doors down from me. We stopped outside my front door and James fiddled around in my backpack for my door key. When he found it, he slotted it into the lock and turned it. Charlie carried me through the door, whilst James pulled the key back out of the lock. "Is your mum home?" James asked. I shook my head.
"She won't be back for a couple of hours yet." Charlie carried me into the kitchen and sat me down on the kitchen work surface.
"Where's all your first aid stuff?" James asked, randomly opening cupboards. I smiled and pointed the right one out to him. Charlie pulled his blazer off and threw it down on the kitchen table.
"I'm gonna ring Matt," he told us, grabbing his mobile out of his bag.
"No, you really don't have to, I'll be fine."
"I know but, if we don't tell him, he'll get angry and start shouting at us." He was right. I just nodded and he left the room.
"So, Matt told me about you and him," James casually remarked whilst placing TCP on a piece of cotton wool. I smiled slightly and nodded. "You do realise that he's crazy about you. He hasn't stopped talking about you all day,"
"Has he told you about the baby?" I asked. I let out a little cry of pain as James dabbed the cotton wool on my cuts. He smiled at me sympathetically and nodded.
"It's really torn him up. I don't think he knows what to do with himself."
"He kept telling me this morning that he doesn't want anything to do with it but I know that's not true,"
"I agree. They're going to really have to sit down and talk this over."
"Do you think Matt'll go back to her for the baby's sake?" James shook his head.
"I don't think you have anything to worry about," I smiled and Charlie walked back into the room.
"He's coming over. I told him he didn't have to but he wants to see you." I nodded.
"Do either of you two want a drink?" I asked. They both shook their heads.
"Do you want an ice pack for your eye?" Charlie asked, signalling to the freezer. I nodded.
"Lift your top up," James said. Quickly a look of horror washed over his face and he went slightly red. "Oh no, I didn't mean like that, I just want to see if there's any damage to your stomach." I laughed and nodded, lifting up my hoodie. Charlie handed me the ice pack and looked at my stomach closely.
"Shit, that looks painful," I nodded and placed the ice pack on my eye. "You do realise you could do her for assault,"
"No, that's too much hassle. There's no point, lets just leave it and let it go," They both shrugged and looked back at my stomach. It was a bit red and felt really sore but I didn't expect there to be any lasting damage. The doorbell rang and Charlie looked up.
"I'll get it," He left the kitchen and I heard the door open. Matt quickly appeared in the doorway, looking flustered.
"Shit," he shouted when he saw me. He walked over and placed a hand on my cheek. "This is all my fault, I should never have let you go on your own,"
"Matt, it's not your fault, you can't keep tabs on me for all your life,"
"No, but I can protect you from stupid bitches like her," He reached up and kissed me. "I'm sorry baby."
"Don't worry about it, plus don't kiss me too hard, my lip hurts."
"Me and Charlie are going to go now," James told us from the doorway. Matt placed his hands on my knees and turned to face them
"I'll see you tomorrow, cheers guys,"
"Yeah, Cheers, It really means a lot to me," I grinned. James nodded and let him and Charlie out. When he heard the door slam, Matt turned back to me and grinned.
"You know, now you have all those cuts and bruises, I might have to kiss them better for you." I smiled and lifted myself down off of the kitchen worktop, helped by Matt.
"I dunno, they're kind of too painful to kiss at the moment," I smiled back. I walked into the living room and Matt followed me in.
"I've decided what I'm going to do about the baby," he told me as he sat down next to me. He pulled me on his lap and put a protective arm around my stomach. I winced as his hand touched the sore area but slowly started to relax as his other hand fiddled with strands of my hair.
"What's that then?"
"I'm going to just give her money, like child support. I have to work out how much I can afford first," I nodded and rested my head back on his chest.
"It's a nice idea," Matt took my chin in his hand and turned me around to face him.
"I love you," he told me, staring deep into my eyes. Love was a new concept to me. Of course, I'd been loved before, my family for starters, but I'd never been loved by a guy. I'd always loved Matt, but in a platonic sense. It was strange how the last 24 hours had managed to change that around so much.
"I love you too," I grinned. Matt leant forward and kissed me, softly to begin with but it soon became more passionate. So passionate in fact that we didn't hear the door behind us open. We flew apart as my mum coughed loudly.
"Oh my god, mum, I didn't see you come in," I stammered.
"Evidently," she smiled. She looked at my face. "What happened to you?" she asked. She shook her head. "On second thoughts, don't tell me. Just explain later,"
"Mum, Me and Matt... we're......"
"Dating? I kinda guessed, you have my full support and I wish you all the best," I smiled at Matt. "Although young man," Matt looked up. "Promise me one thing,"
"Anything," he grinned. He knew my mum so well. She was like his reserve mother, for when him and his mum had fallen out, and believe me, that had been quite a few times.
"You never ever buy her flowers. For a start I'm allergic to them and they're so clich�d," She grinned. Typical mum.
"Promise,"
"Plus did you know it's a new trend to buy presents for your girlfriend's mother as opposed to your girlfriend?"
"Is it?" he asked.
"I dunno, but I definitely think you should start it," Matt smiled at her and she left us to it.
"Your mum is so great," he smiled. I leaned back on his chest.
"I know," I smiled.
The next morning, when I woke up, my stomach hurt like mad and my lip was still all swollen. My mum walked in the bedroom. She saw I was awake and sat on my bed.
"I'm guessing you don't want to go to college today?" I shook my head.
"I can't face it, I need the day off." She nodded.
"I understand. You can have today off and then see how you feel tomorrow," I nodded gratefully. "Look, I wanted to talk to you about you and Matt," she sighed.
"Why? You don't have a problem with us, do you?" My mum shook her head.
"No, of course I don't. Like I said last night, I'm really happy for you."
"Well what then?"
"Well you know what Matt's like. He's always been a bit of a ladies man. I suppose what I'm trying to say is, Don't let him push you into anything you don't want to do. Stick to your guns, always make sure you're happy with what's going on." I nodded. The doorbell rang and she stood up to get it. When she reached the doorway, she turned back to me. "One more thing," I looked up, "Don't make me a grandmother just yet."
"MUM!" I shouted, almost in disgust. She smiled at me and left to answer the door. I heard talking and then feet stampeding up the stairs. Matt appeared in the doorway and grinned. He threw his bag and walked over to my bed.
"So, am I your first visitor?" he asked, sitting in the place my mum had been sitting.
"Pretty much," I smiled and kissed him.
"I guess you're not coming in today then," he said, brushing a finger over my cut lip. I shook my head.
"I just want a day to recover." He nodded and bit his lip. "What's up with you?" I asked, running my hand through his hair. He stopped biting his lip and put on a fake smile. "What?!" I asked, annoyed.
"I'm going away on holiday in a couple of weeks which means I'm going to be away from you," I smiled.
"Where are you going?" I asked.
"Tenerife,"
"Matt, that's great, you'll really enjoy it,"
"Yeah, but I'm going to be without you for 2 weeks,�
"So, you can't live your life around me, go and have fun,"
"Yeah, but what about.." he paused, ".. her?" I sighed.
"I don't think she'll be stupid enough to jump me again, that would be too obvious. Plus, I think Charlie scared her away," Matt looked at his watch and then at me.
"Look, I'm going to go now, I don't want to be late, plus if a get a chance, I'm gonna have words with her," he spat the last word.
"Look, just don't get yourself into trouble, she's having your baby and you don't want to fall out with her and loose any chance you have of ever seeing it,"
"Yes mum," he sighed, standing up. I grinned at him and grabbed hold of his sleeve.
"Aren't you going to give me a goodbye kiss?" I asked, giving him puppy dog eyes. He smiled, leant forward and pecked me quickly on the lips.
"I'll come over on my way home, yeah?" I nodded and let him go. He stopped in the doorway. "I love you," he practically whispered.
"I love you too, now go," I picked up a cushion and threw it at his head, hitting him perfectly. He moaned, rubbed his head and ran off grinning, leaving me to snuggle back down in bed and go back to sleep.
The day before Matt left for his holiday eventually came. In a way, it was a day I was dreading. I knew it was only for two weeks, but we'd become so close that it felt like it was going to be longer. He came to school as usual but was going to miss the next week and was going to be away for the whole of the half term. He turned up to walk me to school and we walked, almost silently, hand in hand. Most of my injuries from the fight had gone by now but the emotional ones were still there. I wasn't really upset, or traumatised, just angry. Whenever I saw her face I just wanted to scream but I knew I had to keep cool, not for her sake. For my sake and for the baby's sake. Matt had recently confessed to how much he actually wanted to be a part of his child�s life and I wasn't about to stop him. I was pleased for him. He'd never been this enthusiastic about anything before. I just wanted him to be happy.
"I have to give Jennifer her first lot of money today. Y'know, she has to buy a cot and a pram and stuff." he said randomly. I looked up at him and smiled.
"How much are you giving her?" I asked, leaning in to his arm. He let go of my hand and wrapped it around my waist, making me feel secure. He knew I still hadn't really got over what had happened to me but had been really caring and understanding about it.
"Only a hundred quid," he replied, kissing the top of my head. I stopped.
"A hundred quid! Matt, that's like, all the money you have," I told him, shocked.
"I know sweetheart but this is my first child and it's really important to me." I nodded and fell into his chest again as we walked along. When we reached school, Matt kissed me softly on the lips and let me go to my lessons. I didn't see him all day, unfortunately. I did see him after college, he insisted on walking home with me.
"Matt, you have to go and get your stuff ready for tomorrow," I told him as we reached my front door.
"I know, but coming in yours for a little while isn't gonna cause any problems." he grinned cheekily, pushing me towards the front door. I giggled and gave in, walking down the path, Matt's arms wrapped around me from behind. As I reached the key out to put it in the keyhole, Matt caught my hand and did it for me. I smiled and turned to face him. He smiled down at me and kissed me lightly. He lifted me over the doorstep and shut the door behind us, placing the keys on the sideboard. He led me into the lounge and sat me down on his lap. "I'm going to miss you so much when I'm away," he whispered. I smiled to myself.
"I know, you keep telling me that,"
"What so aren't you going to miss me?" he asked, trying to sound hurt.
"Of course I am. Why would I not miss you?"
"I'm going to try and ring you every night." I smiled.
"How are you going to do that?"
"I'll find a way" he smirked. He picked the TV control up and flicked the on button. MTV sprung onto the screen. Matt flicked through the various music channels and stopped on VH1.
"What have you put this channel on for, it's crap," I told him, trying to snatch the remote from his hands.
"No, no, no, This song," he said, lifting the remote above his head and turning the volume up. "This is how I feel about you," he whispered, as I settled back against his stomach to listen. It was 'Angels' by Robbie Williams. "And through it all, she offers me protection, a lot of love and affection, whether I'm right or wrong, and down the water fall, wherever it may take me, I know that life won't break me, when I come to call, she won't forsake me, I'm loving Angels instead" he sang softly in my ear. He had a great singing voice, shame he never put it to use more often. I turned slightly and faced him.
"Thank you, that was so sweet," I smiled.
"Yeah, except for the fact that I sounded like a strangled cat,"
"No, it didn't. It sounded great. You have a great singing voice," I insisted.
"No I don't it sounds crap,"
"Matt, shut up. It was excellent,"
"Yeah but having a good singing voice is really poncey for a boy,"
"So I take it Kurt Cobain was poncey then,"
"No, but......."
"And Tom Delonge," Matt thought and smiled.
"Okay, you win," he sighed. I grinned at him and pulled him closer to me.
"What's my prize then?"
"A great big kiss,"
"Is that all?!" I laughed.
"Fine, if you don't appreciate my kisses, I'll take them elsewhere," he whined.
"Oh yeah, like where?" I challenged him. He shrugged.
"I've always found James quite cute, I'll try them out on him, see if he appreciates them," he told me, his face straight.
"You are joking," Matt shook his head.
"In fact, I'm going to ring him now and tell him," he said, picking up the cordless phone. I watched at him, biting on my bottom lip, trying not to laugh. I watched as he started tapping in James' number, slowly down as he reached the final digits. His finger hovered over the call button and he looked up at me. "You know, feel free to stop me and declare your undying love for me any moment now, I won't mind." I eventually burst out laughing, took the phone from his hands and placed it back on the hook. He grinned at me and pulled me on top of him. This time, I was facing him.
"Of course I love you," I told him, kissing his nose. He screwed his face up and smiled at me.
"What time is your mum coming back?" he asked, looking at his watch. I shrugged.
"Why?"
"I expect she'll send me home when se gets here. She'll probably be on orders from my mum,"
"Tonight's mum's busy night. She doesn't get in until about 10 or 11 most weeks. She has work, then a meeting, then she goes to some adult education class, then she goes late night shopping because its empty and Tesco is open for 24 hours then she comes home. It's her way of getting everything out of the way," Matt nodded.
"So it looks like you're stuck with me for a little while yet." he grinned, pulling me in for another kiss. I smiled and kissed him back. He worked his way down the side of my cheek and then kissed my neck softly and my collarbone. I ran my hands through his hair and managed to lean forward and kiss his neck softly. Slowly, his hands, reached up and we pulled apart. His thumb softly stroked my cheek and he looked in to my eyes.
"I... I want to....to.... y'know..... go further," I eventually managed to stutter.
"What all the way further or just a little bit further," he asked, being serious for once in his life.
"All the way further." He pushed me up, taking my hand as he did so.
"You go upstairs, and I'll be up in a minute, yeah?" I nodded and walked nervously upstairs to my bedroom. I didn't know why I was nervous, this was definitely what I wanted.
As I woke up the next morning, the sun streamed in through my thin curtains. I groaned as I realised that the random beeping in the dream I was having was actually my alarm waking me up for college. I switched it off and rolled over to face Matt. He continued sleeping peacefully, a contented look on his face.
"Matt," I whispered, tracing my finger up his arm. No response. "Matt, you have to go" I told him, kissing his nose. He quietly yawned and his eyes flickered open.
"Why?" he whispered. "Do you not like me now or something?" he asked, frowning. I smiled.
"I love you even more now than I ever have done before" I told him, sitting up and pulling the sheets up around me, "But if you don't go now you're going to end up missing your flight." He smiled, placed two fingers at the base of my bare back and let them tiptoe up my spine.
"So in theory, Our first night together is actually our last night together," he smiled.
"Only for two weeks," I replied, picking his boxers up off of the floor and throwing the at him. He caught them and slipped them on, then stood up. As he did so, something caught my eye.
"Matt, we did shut the door last night, didn't we," I asked. He pulled his jeans up and turned around whilst zipping up the flies.
"Of course we did, Why?" he asked, buckling up his belt and picking his T-shirt up. I signalled to the door and he looked over. Now it was no longer shut, it was open. Only slightly, but nonetheless, evidently open. "Who do you think did that?" he asked, sitting back on the bed, pulling his t-shirt over his head and smoothing it out.
"Well can only be my mum, that means she saw us in bed together," I panicked. Matt walked over, and shut the door, then picked my dressing gown off the hook and threw it at me.
"Well she didn't get home until half eleven so she didn't catch us actually doing anything,"
"How do you know?" I asked, slipping into my dressing gown and sliding out of bed.
"I was still awake, you'd already fallen asleep. Anyway, its not as if we did anything
strange. Sex is completely natural," he grinned, sitting at my dressing table, fiddling with his hair.
"Yeah, but it's just a bit cringey when your mum walks in, that's all."
"I know, but it could have been worse, that�s all I'm saying" he smiled. He stood up again and pulled me into a big kiss.
"I'm really going to miss you," I whispered, my eyes welling up for some reason.
"Hey, don't cry," he whispered back, wiping the tears away with his thumbs, "Like you said, it's only two weeks," I nodded, lost for words for a moment. Matt looked back over at the clock and smiled. "I have to go now, but I'll ring you every night if I can and I'll send you a postcard and everything,"
"You better," I told him, following him out of my room and down the stairs. He picked his bag up from the floor in the hallway and kissed me again as he stood up.
"Keep an eye on JB for me" I laughed. "And Charlie for that matter, I promise you, they can't cope without me around." He opened the front door and with another kiss, stepped outside.
"I love you," he whispered.
"I love you too," I replied, wiping a stray tear from my cheek.
"See you in two weeks," he said, walking down the garden path.
"I'm gonna miss you," I called after him.
"I'm gonna miss you too," he called back. I smiled to myself and watched from the doorway as he walked away.
I walked to school on my own for the first time in about 2 months that morning. It felt weird not having Matt beside me, laughing and joking. I wrapped my arms around myself and made my way through the park. I still felt nervous about walking through the park on my own, Matt usually walked through with me now and I felt uneasy with out him protecting me.
"EMMA!" someone shouted loudly behind me. I turned to see James running towards me. I smiled and stopped to wait for him.
"Hey," I said as he reached me. He smiled and tried to catch his breath. "You're so unfit, you only ran a couple of metres." I laughed. He nodded and straightened up.
"I got those pictures developed from the other weekend," he told me, pulling a photo case out of his bag. The other weekend, me, Matt, James and Charlie had gone down to the beach for the day. It had been a great laugh and we stayed out until well after it turned dark.
"Let's see them," I said, holding my hand out. He fiddled through them and picked out a couple.
"There are some really sweet ones of you and Matt. If you like them, I'll get you some copies," he told me handing them over. I looked at the top one. Matt had both his arms around me tightly, pulling me towards him and he was kissing my cheek.
"That's a really nice one," I told him. He peered over at it and nodded.
"This one's better," he told me as he flicked through some of the others and showed me one. This time me and Matt were fast asleep, cuddled up on the sand. "And this one," he put another one to the front. It showed Charlie asleep, sucking his thumb.
"Oh My God!!!! These are really good photos James, can you get me a set?" I asked, handed them back to him.
"'Course I can." he smiled. We walked side by side silently for a while. "So I take it you're missing Matt already." I nodded.
"He stayed at mine last night so now I miss him even more,"
"Why?" he asked, confused.
"Well, you know. Last night we just felt more together, it brought us closer and now he's not here. I just really miss him,"
"I'm sure you do," he smiled. As we walked out the other end of the footpath, we saw Jennifer standing on the other side of the road with her friends, she was showing something off. "God, she gets to me so much," James scowled. I giggled.
"Just ignore her, she's really not worth it." As we walked past, I overheard some of her conversation.
"The bag was �40 and the sunglasses were �30 and then I bought this top for �30 pounds as well," she told her friends in a fake high pitched voice. I rolled my eyes and carried on with James.
"I can't believe her dad would give her all that money. I mean she was just talking about spending a hundred quid on three things." James whispered. I nodded and then something struck me.
"Did you just say a hundred quid?" I asked, stopping. He nodded and stopped as well.
"That's what all of that added up to. Why?" I took a deep breath and shook my head.
"She didn't get that money off of her dad," I told him. "She got it off of Matt,"
"Matt? Why would Matt give her money?" he asked.
"He gave her a hundred quid to buy stuff for the baby,"
"But why would she spend money for the baby on herself?" James asked. I turned to look at her quickly and then turned to look at James again.
"Don't you think it's weird that she hasn't put any weight on yet?" James looked over my shoulder at her and shrugged.
"I don't really know. What are you trying to say?" he asked.
"I don't think she's pregnant. I think she's faking it,"
"Faking it? Why would she fake something like that?"
"Well think about it, she only told him the day he split up with her. Maybe she did it because she thought he'd stay with him. Now she knows he isn't going to, she's just playing along for the money." James stood still taking it in.
"Don't you think that's a bit screwed?" he said eventually.
"Yeah, it is. Totally screwed. That's why I think I have to find out if she's telling the truth." James sighed.
"I dunno, she'll probably end up finding you out and then she'll use it against you."
"But it's gonna tear Matt apart when he finds out,"
"Exactly which is why you should leave it."
"Don't you think it's better him finding out now rather than later." James thought.
"Okay, you win, but I still don't think you should turn all detective about it, just confront her later on, when you get a chance." I nodded.
"I will James, don't you worry." I grinned.
Later on that week, I got my first phone call from Matt. He sounded really happy to be talking to me and hearing his voice made me miss him even more.
"I didn't think you were ever going to ring!" I told him as I sat in my bedroom, looking through the set of photos James had had done for me.
"I know, I'm bribing the children�s rep to let me use the staff phone for free."
"Oh really, and how are you doing that exactly?" I asked, uncertain of what his reply would be.
"Well, some of the kids have an infatuation with me, they think I'm cool so they follow me around everywhere. Annoying little monsters. The kiddies rep noticed and begged me to do some stuff with the kids to help her out so I said I would as long as she could get me a free phone call to you,"
"Aww, so you're good with kids then are you?" I giggled.
"Yep, It's all practise for when my one comes along," he said proudly. My happiness level fell dramatically as he said that. I couldn't actually tell him that I didn't think there was any baby. I had no proof yet.
"Uh huh," was all I could manage to say.
"So what have you got planned for the rest of the week?" he asked, happily. I sighed.
"Dunno. Kirsty's been going on about getting her belly button pierced for ages now and now her mum's said yes so I'm going with her on Saturday when she gets it done."
"Are you gonna get yours done?" he asked.
"I wasn't going to, why do you ask?"
"I think you should, it would suit you, plus it would give you something to take your mind off of me" I laughed.
"I dunno, I'll think about it." Me and Matt spoke for at least half an hour about nothing really. It just felt really comforting, hearing his voice on the other end of the phone. Eventually, he got told he had to go.
"Emma, I miss you," he whispered.
"I miss you too," I whispered back.
"You know I love you more than anything else in the whole entire world, don't you," he asked.
"Of course I do. I love you too,"
"I'll see you soon babe,"
"See ya." With that, the phone went dead and I placed it sadly back on the cradle. I looked at the picture of Matt kissing my cheek and smiled. I picked the empty photo frame from the bedside table and slid the photo inside. I placed the back on the frame and stood it up so I could see it properly. At last, I'd managed to find someone who loved me for who I was.
On Saturday night, after we'd been to town, Aesha and Kirsty decided to sleep at mine. It was a chance for us to have a girly night in together and catch up on any gossip. Kirsty was sitting on my bed, inspecting her new piercing.
"It looks really pretty," I told her from my position on my bean bag. I fiddled nervously with the corner of my purple fluffy cushion.
"Do you think it suits me?" she asked. I nodded and Aesha turned around from where she was looking through my DVD collection.
"It looks great. You do realise that you haven't stopped asking us since you got it done about 5 hours ago.� she snapped. Kirsty sighed.
"Emma's thing looks cuter." I smiled to myself. "I want to see it again," she pouted. I shook my head and stood up.
"It's still a bit red and sore," I told her as I lifted up the bottom of my t-shirt slightly.
"So, it's still really sweet and groovy," Aesha told me. I turned around and looked over my shoulder at it in the mirror. While Kirsty had been getting her belly button pierced, I'd fallen in love with a tattoo that I could get done at the same place. As the woman thought we were all 18, she did it for me, considering that you didn't need an appointment on Saturdays. It was a black design at the base of my spine. Nothing too intricate, nothing too simple. It was just right. I'd wanted a tattoo for so long but had never really found the right time to get it done.
"Do you think Matt will like it?" Kirsty asked, as she ran her finger over it lightly. Matt was one thing I hadn't really thought about when I was getting it done.
"I dunno," I replied. "I think he will, he's always said how he wants to get one done. I doubt he'll have any objections to me getting one." I sat back on my beanbag and Aesha put one of my Foo Fighters CDs on.
"You know, for some reason, I could always tell that you two were going to get together," she said as she sat on my inflatable chair.
"Why's that?" I asked her. She shrugged.
"I agree," Kirsty added. "You always just seemed so sweet when you were friends. Plus, you always seemed so touchy feely,"
"Yeah but that was friendly touchy feely," I protested.
"Yeah and everyone knows that friendly touchy feely with a straight man is a form of flirting."
"I never thought of it like that,"
"So how are things going between you two at the moment?" Kirsty asked. I smiled.
"They're great,"
"Have you gone further with him?" Aesha asked.
"In what respect?"
"She means, have you slept with him?" Kirsty laughed. Aesha put a shock of horror on her face and I laughed as well. These two were my best friends and if I couldn't confide in them then who could I confide in? That's why I had no problems spilling the beans. Also, I thought to myself, I'd told James and I didn't know him as well as I knew these two. "Have you?" Kirsty asked again. Both looked at me waiting for my answer. I bit my bottom lip and nodded slowly.
"Oh my god!" Aesha shrieked.
"Okay, now is the perfect time to have a girly chat!" Kirsty added, getting comfy.
"You don't expect me to tell you the whole story do you!" I grinned.
"Well spare us the gory parts but we want to know everything!" Kirsty said excitedly. I shook my head, unsure on how much to tell them.
"Well, we were just kissing, I told him I wanted to go further and then we went upstairs together. I'm not telling you anymore than that." I told them.
"When was this?" Aesha asked me. I sighed.
"The night before he left."
"Aww, that's so sweet," Suddenly the phone rang.
"Do you want me to get it?" Kirsty asked. I nodded and she leaned over. "Hello?" A grin formed on her face. "It's Kirsty, we've just been discussing you," she giggled. "Yeah, she's here," she said, looking at me. "I'll hand you over." She held the phone out to me. "It's lover boy," she told me, as I took the phone off of her.
"Hello?" I said putting it to my ear,"
"What was that about?" came Matt's voice from the other end. I smiled.
"Nothing. I have Kirsty and Aesha over. Kirsty was just closer to the phone."
"Oh right, so how have you been?" he asked.
"I've been missing you,"
"I know, I've been missing you too. Some stupid tart started to try and chat me up today. She was only about 12."
"Bless, what did you say to her?"
"I said that I had a really nice girlfriend back home who wouldn't been too happy if she heard that's she'd been hitting on me. That didn't stop her so I told her that I was about to be a dad. I think that scared her off,"
"I suppose you didn't tell her that your girlfriend and the mother of your baby were different people,"
"Nah, but I don't think it mattered, I still got rid of her," he laughed. I couldn't help but feel upset about all the talk of babies that kept going on. Matt was going to be heartbroken if my inkling turned out to be the truth. "Are you alright?" he asked, "You sound a bit off,"
"No, I'm fine, I just want you to be here for half term this week. We could have spent it together,"
"I know, I should be back on Friday, hopefully."
"What do you mean, hopefully?"
"Well, y'know, flights get delayed all the time."
"I suppose." I was interrupted by Aesha and Kirsty making loud kissing noises.
"Are you still in the same room as them?" Matt giggled.
"Yeah, unfortunately,"
"Shit, I have to go. We're going out to some shitty restaurant,"
"Okay, I'll talk to you later,"
"Yeah, love you,"
"Love you too,"
"Bye," he said quietly. The dialling tone came on the line and I placed the phone back in the cradle. I sat on my bed and wiped my eye.
"Hun, what's the matter?" Kirsty asked, scooting over to me and putting a comforting arm around me. I looked at her. I'd told the both of them about my Jennifer theory earlier in the day.
"He keeps talking about this baby and I need him back here." I sobbed. "It's going to break his heart,"
Without Matt there, I managed to have a very uneventful half term. No matter who I spoke to and how long for, I never seemed to be able to sort my problems out. I managed to drag myself out of my unhappiness on the Saturday before we went back to college. James and Charlie had invited me to go to the park with them and I'd invited Kirsty and Aesha along so they could get to know each other. With it being March it was still quite chilly but at least the sun was shining.
"Emma, lover boy is going to be back soon, there is no need to keep moping around," Charlie smiled. I rolled over to face him from my lying down position on the grass.
"I know, but I'm still allowed to miss him, aren't I?" Charlie didn't reply, he just grinned. I rolled back onto my back and shut my eyes. I could hear the others laughing and talking still but I just wanted to shut myself off from it all. Suddenly, I felt a pair of hands over my eyes and someone climbed on my stomach. I shrieked out and tried to sit up.
"Guess who?" came the all too familiar male voice. The guy planted a kiss on my lips and I burst into a grin.
"Matt!" I shrieked. I threw my arms around him and he fell backwards, laughing. "Oh my god, I've missed you so much,"
"I know, I've missed you too," he kissed me again. I looked at him properly. He had a slight tan and looked even more gorgeous than he did when he left me that morning two weeks ago. "How are you guys?" he asked the others. They all nodded happily. I sat myself in Matt's lap and leaned back happily. "Hang on," he said, pushing me back up. He ran a finger across the bottom of my back and pushed my black hoodie up slightly. I braced myself for an explosion from him. "What's that?" he asked.
"A.... um..... A tattoo." I mumbled.
"When did you get that?" he asked, still running his finger back and forth across it.
"Last weekend. I'm sorry I went behind your back and everything," I apologised.
"Don't be, it suits you,"
"Do you think?" he nodded. "So you like it?" he nodded again.
"It's lovely." I smiled and leant back on his chest.
"Do you fancy leaving this lot and going back to mine?" he whispered. "Everyone else at my house has gone to see my nan. I managed to skive out of it," I nodded.
"We're gonna go guys," I told the rest, pulling myself up. There were murmurs of , 'Okay' and, 'See You Later'. Matt took my hand and he walked me back to his house.
"You know, I wish you'd come with us on holiday. It would have been so cool just to chill out together by the pool everyday. I felt so lonely. Except for the little kids of course." He smiled and opened the door to let me in. I walked in to the hallway, dodging the suitcases lining it. Matt walked in the door and then dragged me through into the lounge. He sat down and pulled me on top of him. I took his chin in my hands and kissed him passionately. His hands moved to my back and rubbed up and down slowly. He slid his tongue in my mouth and I tilted my head so I could deepen the kiss. The kiss was slow and it felt really good to be back in Matt's arms. Matt finished the kiss with a series of quick kisses and pushed me up. I smiled at him and held my hair out of my face. "I brought you a present back," he smiled, reaching into his back pocket. He produced a small ring box and flicked it open. In the foam sat a silver ring, studded with little diamonds. He picked it out and took my right hand.
"Matt, it's gorgeous," I smiled.
"You have to wear it everyday," he told me whilst sliding it along my index finger. I held my hand closer to inspect it more.
"I'm never going to take it off," I replied. I kissed him again, softly. We were interrupted by the doorbell ringing. Matt sighed, lifted me off of him and stood up.
"I'll be back in a minute," he smiled. I nodded and sat back. I heard him open the door and I heard a girl's voice. It was Jennifer.
"Hi Matt, I came by for my next lot of money." I could hear her in her annoying voice.
"I'll just get it for you," that was Matt. I heard him walk up the stairs and thought that now was going to be the best time to confront her. Especially seeing as Matt was here. I walked out into the hallway and saw her standing on the doorstep.
"Oh, so you're here,� she spat, I nodded.
"Matt is my boyfriend after all." I smirked.
"Oh and you think that bothers me?" she smirked back. "I'm having Matt's baby. I'm more worried about that than which little whore he decides to date. He's going to make a great father, I'm sure that you'll become yesterdays news when the baby is born," she said quietly, presumably so Matt didn't hear.
"Except, you're not ever going to give birth are you Jennifer. I expect that in the next couple of months you're going to have an oh so tragic miscarriage aren't you. Except, it's not going to be tragic is it, because you're not fucking pregnant!" I screamed. I grabbed her hair and pushed her onto the front lawn. She screamed and fell backwards, still clutching her head. "I can't believe you're doing this to him," I shouted, lifting my foot up, ready to kick her. After what she did to me, I had no problems in quite literally beating the shit out of her.
"He won't ever believe you though. You might be his new girlfriend but he still cares for me a hell of a lot more. Why do you think he slept with me the week before he went away. Even though I told him I was pregnant, he was still so eager to get me into bed." Anger flowed throughout my body and I resist the urge to kick her. After all, I thought, that would make me as bad as her.
"You lying bitch!" I screamed. I pulled her up and hit her round the face. I did it repeatedly until I felt a pair of hands grab my arms and pull me backwards.
"Emma, what the fuck are you doing?" Matt shouted at me.
"She's fucking lying to you, Matt,"
"Ignore her Matt, she's crazy," Jennifer piped up. I kept my gaze fixed firmly on her. Matt motioned for Jennifer to shut up.
"What is she lying about?" he asked me calmly.
"Everything," I sobbed.
"Oh, whatever," Jennifer sighed, rolling her eyes. "She's just jealous because I'm having your baby and she's not," she carried on. I pushed Matt, who was still holding onto my arms, away and lunged at her again.
"You are screwed, you know that," I screamed at her.
"STOP IT" Matt shouted. He pulled me off of Jennifer and shoved me into the house. "Stay there," he shouted at me. He walked over to Jennifer and handed her an envelope. "Look you better go, I'll talk to you later," he said to her. She nodded and walked out the front gate, sneering at me as she did so. Matt walked back over to me, face of thunder. "You and me need to have a serious chat," he said, grabbing my arm, slamming the door and dragging me to the staircase. He sat me down on the second step and stood in front of me. "What the hell did you think you were playing at?" he asked me angrily.
"Matt, she's lying to you about everything,"
"How dare you lay into the girl that is pregnant with my baby?"
"She is not pregnant with your baby!" I yelled. Matt snorted.
"Then who's baby is she pregnant with? I know you don't like her but you have no right to do that to her,"
"You don't get it do you?" I said, standing up. "She's not pregnant with anyone's baby, she's not pregnant. She's lying to you to get your money."
"You know, that is some accusation to make considering you have no evidence."
"I have evidence," I shouted. "How many months gone is she?"
"About 3 or 4,"
"And I take it she's shown you the scan pictures has she? You know, the 12 week scan that would have been done about 3 or 4 weeks ago"
"Maybe she hasn't had the scan yet, she hasn't even mentioned one. You can have scans at different times you know," he replied.
"And isn't it a bit funny that she still hasn't put any weight on,"
"Look Emma, I don't know what your problem is, but you were never the jealous type and I never thought you'd stoop this low. When will you see that she is not lying?"
"And I take it she's not lying about you two sleeping together. The week before you went away. The same week that I so stupidly gave my virginity to you."
"What?"
"She told me, that she slept with you, the week before you went away," I said calmly. "Now is she lying or are you?"
"Look, I didn't sleep with her okay? I went around her house, I fell asleep on her bed and she started to try it on with me but I promise you, I told her where to go." I shook my head.
"You see, why should I believe you if you won't believe me?"
"Because you're spouting a load of shit. Why can't you just be happy for me. I want this baby, and yeah, it might not have the mother that I want it to have but I am so happy that I'm going to be it's father. If you can't accept that then you're a worse person than I thought." I shut my eyes and slapped him hard around the face.
"How fucking dare you?" I screamed. "You know I was happy for you, at least I was until I found out the lies she's been telling. You know what, the jokes on you. She is taking you for a complete mug and you're just going along with it. She spent all of the last money you gave her on designer stuff and I expect that she'll go and spend all of this lot on even more designer stuff." I shouted. "And do you know what? I hope she does. I hope that she wipes that smug little grin off of your face. I'm not the only one who can see through her, in fact, you're in the minority. You just need to open your eyes and take a look around."
"You know what, I don't have to listen to this shit, just get the fuck out of my house!" He bellowed.
"With pleasure. And just for the record, I never thought you'd pick that slut over me. WE'RE OVER!" I yelled. I opened the front door and stopped in the doorway. I turned back and pulled the ring he'd given me off of my index finger. "You can have your shitty ring back as well," I threw the ring at him, flounced out of the door and slammed it shut behind me. As I stood outside the front door, trying to take in what had just happened, I burst into tears again. Putting my hand to my head, I ran home before Matt or anyone else saw me like this.
The next day on the way to college, James caught up with me. It reminded me of the first day Matt was away.
"So how what did you two get up to after you left us yesterday?" he smiled. I shut my eyes, wrapped my arms further round myself and carried on walking silently. "Oh, like that was it? What happened?" he asked.
"That stupid bitch's plan has worked. She's won him back." I sniffled.
"Who? Jennifer? Jennifer and Matt are back together?" he asked. I shrugged.
"Dunno and quite frankly, I don't care. She's welcome to him,"
"What? You're gonna have to explain this to me," he said, putting a hand on my arm to bring me back so I was level with him.
"She came round last night to get more money off of Matt for the 'baby'. While he was getting it, I confronted her. Okay, I was a bit heavy handed but I was so angry James, she's just laughing at him behind his back."
"I know but, carry on,"
"She told me that she slept with Matt while she was pregnant and while he was going out with me so I lashed out at her again. Matt came down and saw what was going on. I told him that she was lying and she said that I was crazy. Matt just handed the money over and told her to go and then dragged me inside the house. He started having a massive go at me for beating up the girl who's pregnant with his baby then told me that everything I was telling him was a pile of shit. He told me to get out of the house so I did and then I told him it was over and that was it."
"Wow, that's some break up," he said. I smiled weakly. "But you must still have some feelings for him, don't you?" I thought.
"Do you know what? I really don't. I really couldn't care less. I never thought he'd pick her over me and I never thought I'd hear him say some of the things he said last night. You only really get to see the real side to a person until you date them."
"He really believed her over you?" James asked. I nodded sadly. "Maybe he doesn't believe her. Maybe he wants this baby so much he doesn't want to say your right but he knows deep down you are." I shrugged.
"I don't care anymore. It's up to him what he does." By now we were at the gates of college. I saw Matt walk past with Jennifer. His face was white and his eyes were red. He looked like how I felt.
"Do you really not love him anymore?" James asked. I thought about it. I was expecting there to be some hesitation or something inside of me that wanted to just kiss him but there wasn't.
"I really don't, but I still feel weird."
"Well it will take some time for your body to accept that your not dating each other anymore." James told me. I took another look at Matt. He now had his tongue shoved firmly down Jennifer's throat. I don't know what happened to her last boyfriend, although she does get through them at the speed of light.
"I'm sorry James, I can't do this," I turned and ran away from the college, away from everyone. When I reached my house, I let myself in and ran up to my bedroom. I stepped over the remnants of glass that were lying over the floor next to a picture frame. I'd thrown the picture of me and Matt against the wall in a state of anger the night before. I chucked my bag down and fell down on my bed. I looked down at the floor and picked up the actual photo. I looked at it and resisted the urge to tear it up into lots of little pieces. I put it in my bedside drawer and lay backwards. Through my sobs, I tried to work out why I had taken it so badly. After all, it'd been me who split up with him and me who said I didn't love him anymore. James' theory must have been right. Even though I was hysterical, I managed to drift off to sleep.
Everyone found it hard to be around me and Matt once they heard about us. James and Charlie still spoke to me but felt they couldn't speak to me too much in case they upset Matt. It was the same for Kirsty and Aesha. I felt sorry for James, it was his birthday coming up and he desperately wanted to do something where all six of us were involved. Eventually, I told him that if he wanted to invite me and Matt, I was fine with it. After all, It'd only be for a couple of hours. In order to stop any excessive arguments, James kept the party at his house. On the night that we were going over, I got ready on my own. I pulled my beige cords on and put a white tank top on over my black bra. I sat down in front of the mirror and started to apply my make up. After I'd put my last coat of mascara on, I put in some earrings and put a headband into my hair. I walked down stairs, putting on some lip gloss as I did and sat on the bottom step. I put the lip gloss in my back pocket and pulled my Vans over to me. I stuffed the luminous pink laces inside and put them on my feet. As if on cue, the doorbell rang.
"I'll get it," I shouted. I stood up and opened it to show Kirsty and Aesha standing on the other side. "Hi guys," I smiled. I picked up my phone and some money and stuffed them into my pockets.
"I'll see you later mum, I'll be at James' house if you need me. I've put the phone number next to the phone." I shouted.
"Okay love, have a nice time," my mum shouted back. I picked up the present I'd got James and stepped out of the door, shutting it behind me.
"You look nice tonight," Kirsty told me as we walked along the road. I smiled. "I take it you're not doing it for anyone in particular," she smiled. I shook my head.
"Me and Matt are not getting back together," I told her.
"Why?" Aesha asked. "Everyone knows you two are made for each other."
"We obviously aren't otherwise we wouldn't have broken up. Some of the things he said really upset me and I don't know if I can forgive him." I sighed.
"Well, you can at least try,"
"I don't know if I want to." We walked into James street and I stopped the other two.
"Look, I don't want you to act all awkward around me and Matt. Yeah, we have a problem with each other but it doesn't have to affect either of you. Plus, whatever you do, no matchmaking. Not with Matt, Not with James and Not with Charlie, understood?" They both nodded and we walked up to James' front door. I knocked and could hear people laughing from inside. James flung the door open and smiled when he saw us.
"Hi," he smiled. As each of us walked in, he hugged us.
"Happy birthday," I said as I handed him his present.
"Cheers!" he gushed and led us into the lounge. Charlie was sitting on the floor, looking through the collection of DVD's and Matt was sitting on the sofa, shouting orders for which DVD to pick up. Both looked up when we walked in the room. Charlie stood up when he saw us.
"How are you?" he asked as he pulled me towards him and hugged me.
"I'm fine," I said as we pulled apart. Charlie moved on to hug Kirsty as I stood and sort of nervously waved at Matt. "Hi," I said quietly.
"Hey," he replied in the same hushed tone. I saw James walking over to the breakfast bar and followed him over. I sat at one of the stalls and he stood on the other side.
"It's really not that great a present," I told him as he took another swig from his beer bottle. He placed the bottle down and picked the present up.
"It's a really weird shape," he smiled. "I wanna know what it is,"
"Well open it then!" He grinned and ripped the wrapping paper off in one quick movement, then gasped at the contents.
"What is it Jay?" Charlie asked, walking over. He turned it around.
"A Michael Jackson action figure!" he shouted. Charlie laughed at his response. "It's from the Thriller video as well. Where did you get it?" he asked me, ripping the packaging open.
"You know the comic book shop in the town centre," James nodded. "I told the guy everything you liked and he picked this out for me. You like it?" James nodded wildly.
"I fucking love it. Thank you," He walked round the breakfast bar to me and gave me another massive hug. "And now, I have a present for you," he grinned.
"What's that?" James walked over to the fridge and pulled it open.
"Lot's of booze!" I smiled and got up. "Just help yourself to whatever you want. It all has to go before my mum gets back. She doesn't know quite how much my dad got for me." I picked up an Orange Bacardi Breezer and opened it with the bottle opener lying on the side.
"Girlies, you better get some drinks," I shouted over to Kirsty and Aesha. As they ran over to get some drinks, I sat down in the armchair. Matt looked at me nervously and I flashed him a smile. He smiled and then quickly looked away. At least I wasn't the only one finding the situation a little bit uncomfortable. "So what are the plans for tonight?" I asked. Charlie fell back down on the floor and picked up his beer bottle.
"We were gonna watch a film, eat loads of junk food shit and then piss about. Then we planned to crash out later on." I nodded.
"Sounds like a good plan." James walked over to us and dropped lots of bags and boxes down.
"Right, we have, Crisps, sweets, chocolate, biscuits, cakes, popcorn, and most importantly...." he straightened up and held up a blue box, "... Jaffa cakes!"
"James, you're the only one out of all of us that eats Jaffa cakes!" Matt smiled.
"I know mate, that's exactly what I thought to myself when I bought them." James sat next to Matt, ripped the box open and started absent mindedly eating the contents.
"So what film are we watching?" Charlie asked.
"Put 28 Days Later on, I love that film," James mumbled, whilst stuffing another Jaffa cake in his mouth. Charlie nodded, took the disk out of the box, placed it on the disk tray and pushed it into the machine. "Lights!" James shouted. Aesha reached up from the other armchair and flicked the lights off, plunging the whole room into darkness.
"James, it might be your birthday but we never agreed to become your slaves." I said.
"I know, but it was worth a try, don't you think."
All through the film, I kept my eyes fixed firmly on Matt. The light from the screen shone across his face and he pulled his knee up, wrapping an arm around it. He put the tip of his thumb in his mouth and chewed on it nervously, trying to keep his concentration on the film's storyline. Once or twice, he'd looked over at me and we'd nervously smiled at each other before diverting our gaze back on the screen. On numerous scary moments, I'd wanted to have Matt sitting next to me, protecting me. It was weird when, in my head, I told myself that Matt was now my ex. I still felt unbelievably close to him, like there was some feelings that hadn't quite been demolished. The screen went black and the end titles slowly rolled up the screen. Aesha flicked the lights back on and everyone shot back into action. Except for Charlie, who had decided to lay in front of the TV to watch the film. He'd moved from his position on his side to lay fully on his back.
"What's up with Charlie?" James asked, as he carried six beer bottles into the kitchen and pulled two more out of the fridge.
"He's asleep," I told him, sitting more upright in the chair.
"Seriously?!" James smiled.
"Totally," James grinned and walked over, handing one of the beer bottles to Matt. He then took his beer bottle, tipped it up slightly and pored some of the contents on Charlie's face. Charlie shot up, wiped a hand over his face and scowled at James.
"What did you do that for?" he asked groggily.
"I was waking you up, the fun is gonna start soon. Everyone's starting to get more pissed so it's more amusing," James laughed, moving the table out of the way.
"Guys, I'm going outside for a fag, I'll be back in a minute. You lot carry on without me." Matt pulled a packet of Marlboro Lights out of one pocket and a lighter that I'd given him for his birthday out of the other and quietly made his way out of the door, taking his beer with him. Everyone sort of stood in silence.
"Do you think he's okay?" Charlie asked, shaking his head to get the last bits of beer off.
"I dunno, he seems a bit down. I'll go and check on him," James said, making his way to the door. The other four of us nodded and let him go.
"So what are we going to do when James gets back?" Charlie asked, picking up some empty bags and stuffing them in the bin.
"How about Truth and Dare, that's always good when you're tipsy," Kirsty suggested. We all nodded in agreement and I went to fetch an empty bottle. We sat in a circle and I put the empty bottle down in the centre. I then took a swig from my 4th Bacardi Breezer of the night.
"Let's start without James, he can join in when he gets back," Charlie said, spinning the bottle, it landed on himself.
"Truth or dare Charlie?!" I grinned.
"Uh, Truth,"
"Right, would you ever kiss a bloke?" I asked, still grinning madly. Charlie shook his head.
"I wouldn't if I was conscious but if I was drunk, I wouldn't have much control over the matter would I?" he replied. "My go," he spun the bottle and it landed on me. "Emma!" he smiled, "Truth or Dare?"
"Truth. I know what your dares are like and they usually involve someone getting naked." He smiled devilishly.
"Right, is Matt as well endowed as he says he his?"
"CHARLIE!" Me, Aesha and Kirsty all shouted at the same time, all for completely different reasons. Mine being that I couldn�t believe he'd asked the question, the other twos being that they thought he'd hit a nerve.
"What?!" he smiled.
"Are you trying to tell me that you lot discuss sizes?" I asked, disgusted.
"No............." he trailed off and his cheeks went slightly pink.
"So, quite blatantly, yes you do," I smiled.
"So what, that wasn't the question. You picked truth so you have to answer." Charlie grinned back.
"How much does he say he is?" I asked, to moans of disgust from the other two.
"8 inches,"
"Guys please," Aesha begged, face screwed up in disgust.
"No way is he 8 inches," I told Charlie.
"I knew it!" Charlie grinned.
"Really, stop it," Kirsty pleaded.
"How much is he then?" Charlie asked, obviously out to prove some sort of point.
"Emma, you really don't have to answer that," Aesha told me.
"Maybe 6, but definitely not 8,"
"Look, okay guys, point proven lets leave it at that." Kirsty told us, pushing the bottle towards me. "Now spin it!" I pushed the bottle back to the centre and spun it, just as James walked in the door, a huge grin plastered on his face.
"What's up with you?" I asked, ignoring the fact that the bottle was facing Kirsty.
"Nothing. Matt's gonna be back in a moment," he told us, sitting in between me and Aesha. As he said that the door opened again and Matt let himself in.
"Hi guys," he grinned, sitting down in between Kirsty and Charlie. Charlie, who was opposite me, grinned. I shook my head and looked at Kirsty.
"The bottle's facing you my dear so is it gonna be Truth or Dare?"
"Dare," she replied. I got up, opened a bottle of beer and handed it to her.
"Down that in one go," I told her, sitting back down. She nodded and, after much cheering from the boys, she succeeded. She chucked the empty bottle away and then spun the bottle. I landed on me again. "This bottle really hates me," I giggled. Kirsty shrugged.
"Truth or Dare, Emma?"
"Um, Dare," I said, quickly scolding myself for picking that. Kirsty grinned devilishly.
"Lick Charlie's foot," she laughed. I screwed my face up.
"Urgh, that's disgusting, you can't expect me to do that," I moaned.
"It's a dare so I can expect you to do whatever I like. Chaz, get one of your feet out." Had I been sober, it would have been at this point that I would refuse point blank and stop playing. However this time, the alcohol running through my system forced me to stay and carry out the dare. Charlie held his foot out and, screwing my face up in disgust, I ran my tongue quickly up the sole of his foot. I pulled back and make a heaving motion. Charlie laughed and put his sock back on.
"My feet are lovely Emma, don't deny it." I shook my head.
"No they're not, I think I'm going to be sick!" I got up and ran out of the room and into the downstairs bathroom. Once there, I fell down on the floor and sat. I needed to get away from the others for a little while. Matt had definitely been awkward around me and for some strange reason, I couldn't help but think that I'd been flirting with Charlie. I put my hand to my head. Maybe me and Charlie hadn't been flirting, maybe it was just the alcohol making me think we had. Maybe, to an outsider, it would have been classed as being friendly. Although nowadays, girls aren't allowed to talk to boys without having it classed as flirting of some sort. In a way, I just wanted Matt to hug me, or talk to me or do something to show that he still classed me as a friend. When I thought I'd made enough of a point, I flushed the unused loo and returned to the lounge.
"You okay?" Aesha asked as I re-entered. I nodded and fell down on the settee behind James.
"You carry on, I'm going to sit out," I told them, lying down on my side. I watched as they carried on the game and the Dares and the Truth questions became more outrageous. My eyes flickered to Matt briefly and it was then that I realised I was kidding myself when I said I didn't love him anymore. Or my feelings for him were still there and I desperately wanted him to feel the same way about me. With the thoughts of Matt swirling around my head, I slowly drifted off to sleep. My thoughts carried over into my dreams and I couldn't think of anything else but Matt. Since the two of us had split up, things had definitely been harder. I'd been having more arguments with my mum and I'd become less outgoing. I now preferred to just sit in my bedroom listening to my music or watching my TV. I still knew deep down, that Jennifer was lying to Matt but just couldn't think of a way to get him to realise. I was woken up from my sleep by a soft jolt. My eyes squinted and I could see the whole living room was now in darkness. I must have been asleep for ages because I could see the bodies of Charlie and James sprawled out on the floor, fast asleep. I looked up at the guy who'd picked me up and recognised the face as Matt's. He carried me up the stairs and into James' brothers room, unaware that I was awake. I kept my eyes shut to try and pretend to be asleep. He pulled the cover back on the bed with one hand, placed me down and pulled the cover back over me. To finish everything off, he leant down and kissed my forehead, whispering, 'I Love You' as he did so. My heart skipped a beat and I inwardly smiled. I felt him sigh and stand up and heard the door open really slowly. "Matt," I called out, before he left the room.
"Uh huh," he replied, stopping in the doorway.
"Don't go," I whispered to him, sitting up in the bed.
"Do you think that's a good idea?" he asked me, a nervous tone coming through in his voice.
"Matt, we might not be dating but we used to be best friends, can't we at least try and be civil, y'know, go back to how it used to be." There was a pause from him. and I heard the door shut. In the dark, I saw him walk back over and I lifted up the duvet to allow him to climb next to me. After I dropped it over him, I wrapped my arms around his stomach and nestled into his chest, he snaked his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer. From now on, I decided, the only way for me and Matt to go, was up.
The next morning when I woke up, I was pleased that Matt was still next to me. The feel of his arms around my body was really comforting and I didn't want to get up. Slowly, I slid out of bed, checked myself in the mirror, smoothed my clothes out and then walked downstairs. I walked into the lounge to see everyone else talking and watching TV.
"Morning," James said weakly, clutching his head. I smiled.
"Morning,"
"You want any aspirin?" James asked, holding up the little pot. I shook my head.
"I'm alright thanks." I smiled and sat on the sofa next to Charlie who was drinking coffee.
"Do you know where Matt got to last night?" James asked, handing me some coffee and sitting down in the armchair.
"Yeah, he's still asleep upstairs," I told him, taking a sip from my mug.
"Upstairs? Which room was he in? Aesha was in my room, Kirsty was in my sisters and you were in my brothers. So he either tried to sleep in my little brother's bed or he slept in my parents bed which I severely hope he didn't." James said.
"He was with me," I interrupted. Kirsty, Aesha and Charlie's heads all shot round to me.
"Oh my god!" Kirsty shrieked. "Does this mean your back together?" She grinned.
"Please don't tell me that you two were at it in my brothers bed," James moaned. I laughed.
"No, we weren't 'at it' and we're definitely not back together. We're back on friendly terms, that's all." I explained. Charlie nodded sarcastically and smiled to himself.
"You know what? I give it two weeks minimum before you're back snogging each others faces off," he smirked. "You were too close to let it all go to waste over some lying little bitch." I shrugged.
"He obviously loves her otherwise he wouldn't have gone back to her," I added.
"He loves you more," James blurted out.
"He what?" I asked. James went slightly red.
"Nothing! Ignore I even said it." He shouted. I shook my head, confused at his behaviour and sat back. "Em," James said after a little while.
"Uh huh" I mumbled, turning to face him.
"Do you fancy being my date for the dance next Friday? This lot all have dates so you're my last hope." he pleaded. "It's obviously only friendly. I don't mean that we have to be like proper dates," he added. I knew Matt was taking Jennifer so I nodded.
"That'd be cool," I smiled.
Two Fridays later, I sat in my bedroom, putting finishing touches to my hair and makeup. I was wearing a black ball gown. The top layer of my hair was tied back in a bun while the rest fell onto my bare shoulders. I was normally the type to get all dressed up, however my mum had spent loads of money on the dress so I decided to just do it this once. I sat down on the bed and buckled up my high heels and then quickly checked myself over in the mirror.
"Emma, James is here," My mum shouted up the stairs. I smiled to myself, stood up and made my way down the stairs unsteadily. James was wearing a white shirt, a black tie, a black jacket and trousers and his trainers. When he saw me, I thought I saw his eyes pop out of his sockets.
"You look really beautiful," he smiled, taking my hand and kissing my cheek. I smiled back and linked arms with him.
"So do you," I grinned.
"Don't! I look like a right idiot." I opened the door and steeped out.
"Bye mum!!!!" I shouted, slamming the door behind me. Me and James walked along the route we always took to school.
"Right, I have some stuff to inform you about," James grinned.
"Okay, sounds intriguing!" I smiled.
"Right, that night when you all came around to mine and me and Matt were talking outside, he told me that he still loves you but just feels that you don't want him back. I know that's not true but he didn't really reply when I told him you still liked him. Anyway, he says that he wants to believe you and to a certain extent he does but something inside of him is telling him that you're wrong. He even told me that he doesn't love Jennifer, he's just back with her to make you jealous and because he feels it's the right thing to do. He says that the moment something proves what you said, he's dumping Jennifer."
"Okay, so we just have to wait now I suppose for another 3 or 4 months," I sighed.
"Not necessarily." James replied with a devious grin. "I'm going to spike her drink with extra alcohol to make her drunkenly confess!"
"I thought you said that you weren't getting involved." I told him. He smiled.
"I know but seeing you two so unhappy is making me unhappy so I think we need to get you back together,"
"WE?"
"Oh, Charlie is my accomplice and we just told Kirsty and Aesha so some more people were in on the plan and it didn't seem all suspicious." I smiled.
"You know, you really are something else James."
"Yep, I know," he beamed.
During the dance, the majority of the time, we just sat and drank. Me, Kirsty, Aesha, James, Charlie and a rather dejected Matt sat around one of the tables talking. Matt left Jennifer to her own devices, meaning he left her to flirt with the other guys. Charlie and James had already managed to spike 4 of Jennifer's drinks and no one else seemed to have noticed. The set up was that Matt would go and get Jennifer's drinks, she'd drink some then leave it with Matt while she went off to flirt. While she was gone, either James and Charlie would add some extra alcohol, usually while we distracted Matt. When Jennifer would return, Matt would hand the drink over without knowing any different. Charlie and James would often have to stifle their giggles in order to keep the secret. We started to think the plan wasn't working but eventually, half an hour before the end, it all kicked off.
"I'm really bored," I moaned, sipping from my cup, which I'd forced Charlie to add some of his vodka to.
"I'll dance with you," Charlie grinned, rocking back on his chair.
"No, you're too tall,"
"Don't even ask me," James butted in.
"You are my date," I whined at him.
"Yeah, as a friend,"
"Don't worry James, I don't want to dance, especially not with you, you might start moon walking and it would be complete chaos." James grinned and we went back to just sitting. I watched as Jennifer stumbled over and nudged James.
"Matttttttiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee, Come and dance with me baby," she slurred, trying to pull him up by his hands. I bit my bottom lip and James looked away and giggled.
"No, I don't want to," Matt told her, staying firmly glued to his seat.
"Puurrleaseeeeee," she begged, pulling harder.
"NO!" Matt replied a bit more firmly this time. Jennifer caught sight of my smirking and scowled at me.
"What are you laughing at bitch? In case you had forgotten, Matt's not yours any more. He's come back to me, where he belongs. You were just a little fill in while we had a break, you meant nothing to him, you were just an easy lay, y'know, what with you two already being friends and all that, he was already halfway there. You'll only ever be half the woman that I am. Matt can obviously see that for himself, that's why he picked me over you," she shouted. The music was so loud though that no-one except our table heard. As she was talking, I felt both James and Charlie reach out and take one of my hands each under the table for support. I was about to shout back, even though she was drunk, but someone got there before me.
"DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO HER LIKE THAT!" Matt yelled, standing up. "What has she done to deserve any of the abuse you give her. She's been my best friend for as long as I can remember and I care so much about her. How fucking dare you say all that shit. You're not a better person than her, she's the nicest person I've ever met, the most caring and loving girl I've ever come into contact with. Don't sit there kidding yourself that she's the person I turned to when I was on the rebound, because the real rebound for me, is you. And all that crap about you being a better woman than her, how can you say that? You're 5 months pregnant, you reek of fags and you're blatantly pissed off your head, YOU'RE THE FUCKING DISGRACE," he bellowed.
Jennifer, who appeared to have taken in none of what Matt said, just started giggling. I was still in shock from Matt's speech to take much notice of her.
"Matt, I think I might have told you a teensy, tiny, weeny white lie," she giggled. A look of victory spread over James' face and Matt began to look confused.
"What?" he asked, waiting for an answer.
"You see, it's about the baby." She started, still giggling in her drunken stupor. "It's not actually your baby because I'm not even pregnant," she whispered loudly. "But Matt, that's just a secret between you and me, okay?" So sssshhhhhhhhh. No one else knows, except for my friends." I saw Matt's expression drop as he realised that what he'd been told had been the truth all along.
"We can always go back to my place now and make one, baby, what do you say?" she asked him, trying to be seductive, but failing miserably. Matt slowly looked away and took a deep breath.
"Fuck you," he said quietly. He bought his face back up to look at her. "Get away from me. I never want to see you again and I never want to be near you again. I just want you out of my life for good," he told her menacingly. "You got that?"
"But Mattie....... what about the baby?" she whined, walking towards him, oblivious to the fact that she'd just confessed all. James and Charlie must have given her more alcohol than they intended.
"GET OFF ME!" Matt yelled, shaking her arm off of his, causing her to fall backwards. "Just rot in hell," he sneered. He walked away from the table, leaving Jennifer on the floor, and left the hall, slamming the door behind him.
"I'll go after him," I said, standing up. James put an arm out and pushed me back down.
"Me and Charlie will go, you stay here,� he told me. Charlie nodded and they went out after him.
"He really must love you," Kirsty whispered, watching as Jennifer picked herself up, angry at her comeuppance.
"So I keep getting told," I whispered back. "He just has to prove it to me now."
I was worried what had happened with Matt after he stormed out on Friday night. I tried ringing both James and Charlie the morning after but neither of them would answer their mobiles. I didn't want to worry myself too much over it. I just assumed that no news was good news. I'd told my mum everything and she told me to give him some space. I had to agree. He'd just found out his girlfriend had been lying to him and he wasn't going to be a dad. It was a lot for him to take in. It wasn't until Sunday that I eventually heard something from someone. My mobile rang and the display told me it was James. I pressed the accept call button and put the phone to my ear.
"I've been trying to call you for ages," I told him straightaway.
"I know you have but me, Charlie and Matt have been having important chats and been going out on important outings for the past day or so."
"Why?" I asked.
"Ah, all will be revealed later on," he said happily.
"What do you mean?"
"Don't go anywhere today, you're going to get a visit some time after it's gone dark,"
"James, what are you going on about?"
"I can't tell you but it's really important that you are in after it's dark."
"Okay," I said nervously.
"Great, and you have to tell me everything that happens when you come to school tomorrow"
"Uh, yeah, I will," I stuttered.
"Right, see you tomorrow," he said cheerily.
"Yeah, see you," I pressed the end call button and sat back trying to decipher the mixed message I had just got from James. Matt was mentioned which must have meant that he was involved. I did as James said and didn't go out. When it started to go dark, I looked at my clock. It was 8:00. I didn't really know what to do to pass the time so I just read through all my magazines. I waited and waited and waited but no one came and nothing happened. As I leant down to look in my drawer for some more magazines, my bedroom door opened. Assuming it was my mum I carried on searching, not really acknowledging her presence.
"What you looking for?" A male voice asked. I shot up to see Matt standing in the doorway. He smiled at me and then looked down at his hands.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, "How did you get in?" He looked up at me again.
"Your mum let me in, I needed to see you,"
"I didn't hear the doorbell ring," I said, still in shock.
"Yeah, I came in the back door. I wanted to surprise you," he smiled, "And I think I've succeeded." I nodded.
"Yep, you really have." I smiled. "So what do you want?" I asked. He looked back down at his hands.
"I really need to apologize to you. I've made a terrible mistake." I shook my head.
"It's okay, I should be apologizing. I should have just left it for you to find out for yourself. It wasn't any of my business really."
"You don't have to apologize, I'm glad that you did say. You started to make me doubt her and everything that I said to her on Friday night is a build up of everything I've been thinking while we've been apart." he sighed. "I really want you back," I shut my eyes. I wanted him back too but I wasn't sure if it was going to work. I opened my eyes again.
"I want you back as well but I'm scared,"
"What of?" he asked, sitting at the foot of my bed.
"I'm scared of it all going wrong again. I know I was wrong but when I told you that stuff, you didn't trust me. A relationship doesn't work if you don't have trust in each other."
"I did trust you. I knew that what you were saying was right but I didn�t want you to be right. I was just kidding myself to make myself happy." he sighed. "I'm so sorry about the stuff I said to you. It was really hurtful and I didn't mean any of it. I loved you then and I still love you now."
"I still love you too, but I don't know if I can handle it going wrong again,"
"It won't go wrong again, we can make it work,"
"I dunno."
"If you give me this one last chance, I'll prove it to you," I sighed and shuffled closer to him. I put my hand on his cheek and turned his head so he was facing me.
"You better prove it to me," I smiled. Slowly his sad expression turned into a grin and he leaned in and kissed me. It felt nice to feel his lips against mine again and I smiled even more.
"I love you," he whispered. I smiled at him.
"I love you too." He delved into his pocket and pulled out the silver ring he'd bought me on holiday.
"I think you need this back," he told me, sliding it along my right index finger.
"Thank you," I said, kissing him again. He smiled and took my left hand in his.
"Not that I'm rushing things or anything here, but there was something else," he told me. Keeping hold of my left hand, he slid of the bed and knelt down in front of me. He looked up into my eyes and smiled whilst reaching into his back pocket. He produced a black velvet ring box. He flicked it open to show another ring. This one was white gold, or so the inside lid of the box said. Sitting on the top of the band was one big diamond, surrounded by lots of little tiny ones. "I think you need this one as well." he grinned.
"What are you saying?" I asked him, whilst grinning madly.
"Marry me," he said. "Only if you want to, obviously," he smiled his cheeky grin and I couldn't help but grin back. All of my doubts over him suddenly vacated my mind and I was so happy.
"Yeah, I do want to," I smiled. Matt slid the ring along my wedding finger and kissed me.
"We don't have to get married straightaway, we can wait until we're both 18 if you want,"
"I don't care when we get married, as long as we do it eventually," I smiled. He smiled back at me and hugged me tightly.
The next morning, me and Matt walked to college together for the first time in a long time. We were so wrapped up in each other and so engrossed in talking about weddings that we could have been picked up by a twister and not noticed. When we reached the gates, the other four were standing in a little huddled group. Kirsty noticed us and they all stood smiling at us.
"So it worked I see," Charlie smiled, slapping Matt on the back in a friendly way.
"We're finally back on track," I smiled.
"Awwww, it's so sweet," Aesha grinned. I looked at Matt at smiled.
"We have more news," I smiled. Turning to Aesha and Kirsty, guessing that they were the only two not in on the plan.
"Tell us," Kirsty demanded. I held my left hand out and they both shrieked when they saw the ring.
"I guess we picked the right ring then," James smirked. I nodded.
"It's gorgeous,"
"If you need any bridesmaids, we'd be more than willing to help out," Kirsty grinned.
"Of course, who else would I pick?"
"When is it going to be?" Aesha asked me. I shrugged and looked at Matt.
"We're going to see how things work out before we decided whether to set the date for sooner or later."
"But it's definitely going to be a summer wedding," I added.
"Well, congratulations, you two look so happy together," James said. I smiled at him.
"We are. I've never been this happy before in my life," I grinned before leaning up and planting a kiss on Matt's lips.