*It's 11pm. Matt, Kim, Ruth and James have just come home from a party. Mizz had been left with the burden of carrying huge Charlie home as he got stoned and ran rampage in the nightclub just as the night had started! Ruth and James are on the sofa, Ruth's head on James'. Kim thinks this looks very cute and decides to take a picture, while Matt wanders upstairs and hears loud noises coming from Mizz's room. He looks worried.*
Mizz: (breathless, giggling) Charlie dude... ...erm...
Charlie: What? Oh, don't laugh! Mizz, that just makes it harder!
Mizz: (laughs uncontrollably) Charlie, Kim is going to be SO mad!
Charlie: It's kinda funny isn't it? After all these years... ...we're finally doing it!
Mizz: Twos your suggestion not mine!
Charlie: Well... ...erm... ...ok you asked for it!
*Following are several loud groans. Matt has a pained look on his face.*
Matt: (from outside door) Damn, I knew I should have told Mizz I liked her. Now she's Charlie's! Fucking damn bastard (slams head against wall)
*Several loud bangs are heard from the room.*
Mizz: Eh mate watch it, we're taking it SLOW, remember, that way, we get more laughs!
Charlie: Who said this was about laughs... ...(nervously) you know how I feel.
Mizz: Oh woops, poor Charlie baby's nervous!
Charlie: (blushing) Ok, now you can take off those trousers cus looking at you is just making me go haywire!
Mizz: (taking off trousers) And you, Charlie Simpson, have the honour of taking off that lacy pink bra.
Charlie: (frantically undoing bra) Eeehh yeesh, how do you undo this?
Mizz: Charlie you have NO experience of bras do you not?
Charlie: Spose you could say that... ... (burps)
Mizz: Oh god, Charlie. Please don't say you've had one too many again.
Charlie: (burps LOUDLY) What's wrong with having a swig before you do this?
Mizz: (shakes her head) Charlie dude I never do it with drunk guys. They go all over me and it's NOT nice!
Charlie: Aww. (sticks out bottom lip)
*Matt tries to look through the keyhole.*
Matt: (looking upset) I just can't listen to this anymore! (goes away)
*A vibrating bed can be felt much to the annoyance of Kim, Ruth, James and Matt.*
Kim: What the fuck they doing up there?
Ruth: I don't want to know.
Matt: Hey, you're just as bad sometimes. You and James can be perfectly disgraceful!
James: Ooh, now who sounds like my mum?
*Laughing from the living room is heard in Mizz's room.*
Mizz: Shit Charlie, we have to get this over and done with now! They're suspecting something!
Charlie: Ok, we start with the outer layer.
*Shuffling is heard.*
Mizz: (slightly tired) Ok, are you ok with seeing me in my underwear?
Charlie: Oh, well DUH! If I wasn't I wouldn't be doing this. Gawd I feel so fucking dirty saying that!
Mizz: Well hurry up!
*Groaning noise.*
Charlie: (slumps onto Mizz) Oh my god that was seriously, seriously fun! But I'm never doing it rushed again, else I get caught in places I really shouldn't!
Mizz: (jabs Charlie) Oh Charlie you're just the funniest person I've ever had doing it with me!
Charlie: You do realise we have to face them now?
Mizz: Yes...
Charlie: And you do realise they heard... ...everything?
Mizz: CHARLIE YOU WIMP! Now go (pushes Charlie downstairs)
*Mizz and Charlie emerge across the hall. Everyone eyes them suspiciously.*
Kim: What were you doing up there?
Ruth: (slightly hyper) We were getting... ...ahem... ....worried...
Mizz: Oh no, it was fun, wasn't it, Charlie?
*Matt suddenly straightens out and looks up at Mizz angrily.*
Matt: So is it true?
Mizz: What? What? (looks confused)
Matt: That you were fucking Charlie!
*Kim looks seriously annoyed at Charlie and slaps him.*
Kim: You fucking bastard! Fucking a whore (looks at Mizz) AGAIN!
James: Oh you're succinct aren't you?
Mizz: What? What? I never... ...(hugs Matt) Oh god, you seriously didn't think we were...
Charlie: (rolls eyes) Wait! Wait! You guys! You dirty minded people! We weren't doing ANYTHING of the sort!
Kim: What? (embarrassed) So what were you doing? (sadly) I heard noises! I did! I did!
Ruth: So did we all, Kimbob!
*Mizz and Charlie look at each other.*
Mizz and Charlie: Well we were... ...(embarrassed) cross-dressing.
Matt: What the FUCK?
Charlie: You heard her. Cross-dressing.
Ruth: Why man? Urgh! Thats perfectly disgusting!
Charlie: And boy was that thong tight!
Ruth and James: EWW!
Charlie: And that bra... ...really does wonders... ...I mean I'm finally getting the support I need.
Matt: POOF!
Ruth and James: EWW CHARLIE!
Mizz: You guys, you're like twins. That's really cute!
Matt: (eyeing Mizz) Oh, so that's all sorted?
Mizz: Sorted! Matt: (leads Mizz into another room) I've got something I need to tell you...
*They leave room.*
Kim: Well as all is solved, this is the part where we all kiss and make up, yeah?
Ruth: Yeah.
Charlie: Especially the kissing bit (bites lip)
*Kim and Charlie, Ruth and James both kiss simultaneously. A perfect end to the night! Or so we hope...*
Charlie: BURP!
Kim: Oh Charlie! Please dude!
James: BURP! Ruth: Oh James! Please dude!
*A few days later.*
*Sounds are heard from the bathroom again. Matt is missing from the living room. Kim runs up to the door and bangs furiously.*
Kim: (iratically) MATT! MIZZ! ARE YOU IN THERE? LISTEN PEOPLE I REALLY NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM! PLEASE! AARRRGGHHH!
Ruth: (butts in) Are you two cross-dressing or fucking?
*A shout and several slurping noises are heard from the bathroom:*
Matt and Mizz: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!