�But Mum�� She wined.
�Listen Clare, I know your dad hasn�t exactly been there for you, but you should be grateful he wants to get to know you� I know you feel that he�s trying to buy your affection, now he�s rich and everything, but give him a chance.� Her mother gave a faint smile.
�I�m not giving him a chance, he�s hurt me mum, the amount of times I�ve cried at night wishing he was here just to be my dad, but he wasn�t, he felt that his career was more important than you and me. How can anyone do that?� Clare explained to her mother.
Clare wasn�t ever the one to talk about her problems, they were personal and no one not even her best friend knew about them. Her emotions were stored in her body deep under lock and key, and no one had the key excluding her and she was scared to open it, scared of what was going to be revealed. Sometimes it was different, sometimes she felt she needed to get her emotions out, and this was the point to do this, to get her opinions over about her dad, even if they weren�t what everyone wanted to hear.
�I know darlin�, I know, but please just do it for me, its not like he hasn�t cared about you, he has asked about your exams and everything�� Her mother answered with a caring smile.
�And that�s meant to make everything ok is it?� Clare shouted whilst getting into the now loaded car.
�Certainly not! I know he�s hurt you and I will never forgive him for that, but you have to remember I was with him for a couple of years, I still have the burning flame, he really is very loveable when you get to know him.�
The conversation never really died down between both family members. Clare was annoyed with the fact that he wanted to get to know her now and not earlier. Ok so maybe he was famous and brilliant at music, but that certainly didn�t mean he had to leave his pregnant girlfriend. Maybe he was self centered and left while he had the chance, but he did care, after all Clare was his little creation. Clare meant the world to him, so maybe she didn�t know this, but he felt that if he came into her life so early, he would get to attached, Meaning he had to stay, he couldn�t do that, it was the start of his career.
�You�ll only be staying for a week and I�m sure when you get back, you will be telling me what a great time you�ve had.� Her mother smiled as she was looking at the road map.
�Mum I think we have to go up there.� and Clare pointed to a narrow turning at the side of the road.
�But it says we need to go straight ahead.� Her mother argued. No conversation between them was ever civilized, every word uttered led to an argument.
�Well why does it say the village on that sign then?� Clare wondered with one of her sarcastic tones.
�Well fine, we will go down there but if my car gets dirty, I swear you will be cleaning it!� Her mother shouted. Clare rolled her eyes. They arrived just moments later and again for the second time that day, Clare felt the sickening feeling of dread well up inside her stomach.
�Right you get your belongs out the boot and I�ll go see you dad.� Her mother explained. Clare wondered why was her mother was so eager to see James again all of a sudden?
�Yeah whatever�� Clare sighed.
Her mother walked up to the massive house situated in the middle of the countryside and began to knock on the door. A man of average height and blonde spiky hair and blue eyes opened the door with a smile.
�Hey.� She smiled.
�You all right?� he beamed, and she felt seventeen again.
�Yes thanks, Clare�s just getting her bags and stuff.�
�I really appreciate this you know Jamie, I mean I know it seems like I�ve never really wanted her, but I feel so connected.� He whispered.
Clare carrying numerous bags bounded up the gravel driveway dodged the many cars, which her father owned. His smile grew bigger with every step she took; she looked so pretty with her long mousy hair and her blue eyes, just like his.
�Thanks for helping.� She moaned to her mother, each word dripping with sarcasm.
�I was coming to see your dad.� She nodded at James.
�They�re bloody heavy, I�m not superwomen y�know.� Clare complained again.
�You need the exercise, it will have done you some good.� Her mother shouted, and Clare rolled her eyes.
�Carrying my own bags along a massive gravel driveway aint my idea of exercise!�
James just stood there looking at the two arguing. He wasn�t going to break the up, but he thought a cough would give them a �subtle� hint to stop. Clare�s mother turned her head.
�Sorry. Clare your dad, James, Clare.� She introduced them, not sure about what each other�s reactions would be or even about what else to say. James stuck out his hand, as he too, really didn�t know what else to do. Clare just smiled. She wasn�t going to shake his hand just yet; after all he was still a bastard in her eyes.
�Erm well follow me, do you want me to help you there?� James offered.
�No its ok, I�m managed for 16 years on my own, I don�t need your help now.� Clare said with about as much emotion as the talking clock, but with about fifty times the sarcasm.
�Clare!� Her mother shouted at the top of her voice.
�But its true!� Clare declared.
�It�s alright Jamie, I understand� James half-heartedly smiled.
�I�m really sorry!� She mouthed. He just smiled the way he did when he really didn�t know what else to say.
�I guess I�ll show you were your staying for the next week.� James led Clare up the stairs into a large room, which was nicely decorated.
�If you need anything, just ask.� He turned to walk out of the door. �O yeah and the bathroom is the 3rd on the right.� He smiled and walked out. Clare emptied all of her bags and made her way back down stairs.
�Well darling I have to go now, I will see you in about a week.� She placed her arms around her daughter kissed her on the cheek, thanked James and left.
�So its just us two then.� James smiled.
�Unfortunately.� Clare sighed.
�Listen, I know, I�ve not exactly been the best dad and everything but at least you could try to be civil.� There was evidence of anger in his voice.
�Try for you? I don�t think so, you fucked up my life so i'm fucking with yours.� Clare yelled.
�Language like that isn�t becoming of a young lady.� James yelled whist pointing the finger.
�So?� They were interrupted at that moment by the sound of the front door slamming.
�Jay mate, you will not believe who I shagged last night.� He shouted with a cheeky grin. He placed his jacket on the sofa and smiled at James.
�Fuck mate when did you get a girlfriend?� He said with a surprised tone.
�Its not my girlfriend!� James answered with a rather shocked and equally disgusted tone.
�Well then who is she?� Matt wondered whilst looking her up and down.
�Clare, Matt, Matt, Clare.� James introduced them both. Matt gently took his hand out of his pocket wanting to shake hands with the young women he had just met. She placed her hand into his and began to shake. She was somewhat captivated by his good looks. Although she had recognized her father from the band pictures she had seen, his face showed the wear of time and his features had ages somewhat; however the man that stood in front of her now could still have passed for twenty five easily.
�So you shake his hand!� James angrily shouted clearly annoyed with the fact that his own daughter wouldn�t shake his, and Matt just stood there with a perplexed look on his face.
�Yes because he�s not a self centered bastard!� Clare retaliated.
�How the hell do you know if he�s not a self centered bastard Hey? Your physic now or something.�
�Yes actually but how would you know.� She answered sarcastically. �God! You�re just like my fucking mother.� Clare shot him a dirty look.
�That�s it! I�ve told you once and i'm not going to tell you again, now get up the stairs and think about what you�ve just done!� James eyes had become slightly bloodshot and his cheeks were now a deep shade of red. Clare just laughed, he was treating her like some 5-year-old child who had just broken something valuable, and she was having none of it.
�I�m not going anywhere, i'm not 5 anymore you know, O yeah I forgot you wouldn�t know would you! Cause you weren�t fucking there!� A single tear began to drop from her eye. James could see this and suddenly began to think about how he had treated her, even if he hated her swearing, he knew that after what he put her through she was quite entitled to have pent up anger and bitterness.
�Listen I�m sorry ok, I know I�ve not been the best dad and I know I wasn�t there for you and your mum, but I really do care about you, you�re my little angel!�
�Dad?� Matt�s cheeky grin had now hit the floor and turned into a rather shocked expression.
�Yes, she�s my daughter.� James confirmed.
�But, when? How? What the fuck?� So many questions Matt wanted to ask, and yet so little sense sprang from his mouth.
�I was 17.� Everyone sat down as James began his narration. �I had been going out with Jamie, her mother for about 11 months and we become really close, both liked each others families and everything went down hill when she turned 16 so to speak, we got a contract for busted, which I will never change for the world, and then she told me on that day that she was pregnant. I didn�t know what do. I was 17 for fucks sake.� Clare made a mental note to point that he had sworn then next time her raged her about it. �After much thinking, I went for the career instead. She cried for hours wishing I hadn�t made the choice. I don�t know if it was the right choice or not�I doubt it was but I�ve got a history of making bad choices.� Matt laughed at that comment and then there was silence so James carried on. �On October 9th I got phone call off my mum saying Jamie had a healthy baby girl, I wanted to go and see her but I didn�t have the guts too. Jamie�s parents hated me for leaving her in the condition she was, so they banned me from seeing her.� He lowered his head, and Matt gently eased his arm around his old friend.
�But Nan and granddad said you didn�t bother to get in touch, they said you didn�t care.� Clare explained.
�Its all bloody lies, I went to that hospital in Middlesex to see how your mum was and to see you.�
�Did you see me?� Clare asked.
�Yes I did, much to your Nan�s annoyance. God, you were so small and beautiful, I was scared though, and the nurses told me you weren�t very well that�s why there were so many tubes and machines.� He couldn�t continue.
All the emotions running through Clare�s head, all the lies she�d been told about James when actually he had tried to make an effort, he just wasn�t allowed. Clare shot up off her chair and jumped onto James who was sitting on the sofa and placed her arms around him.
�I�m sorry, I'm really sorry I shouted at you, i�m sorry, I love you dad.� Clare cried into his shoulder. James placed his hands on her back and started to comfort her.
�Its ok darlin�, honestly.� He smiled.
�I�ll go mate, I�ll let you spend time with your daughter.� Matt smiled; the last word was emphasized as if Matt was trying to get it straight in his mind that Clare was James�s daughter.
�No its ok you can stay if you want, I need someone to pay for the pizza anyway.� He smirked.
�Me pay for a pizza? Good man you�re loaded!�
After being in the UK�s biggest band for 5 years he had earned a vast amount of money, but being only 23 when they finished meant he needed something to do for the rest of his life. He was intelligent and good with music and so eventually ended up working for his record label universal. He earned about �200,000 a year, which meant out of himself and Matt he was the richest, although Matt owned more properties than him and was also not doing too badly for himself. Now aged 33 he had a lot of money to spend, he just wanted matt to get off his arse and buy the pizza.
�Please mate, I�ll pay you back, you know I�m good for it � James smirked as he told Matt, who didn�t really look convinced.
�Nah mate, you can get off your arse and get it yourself.� Matt answered whilst folding his arms, and Clare noted that sitting next to her father he was the more bulked up of the two. James began to whisper to Clare.
�Please Matthew, he won�t ask for anything else.� Clare used her puppy dog blue eyes. James knew if she was anything like her mother no man would ever say no, not that he was encouraging her to go anywhere near Matt. Oh no, it would be a cold day in hell before any relative of his was going to be getting close to Matt. He was a nice enough bloke, but he wasn�t exactly the best with relationships.
�Erm�Alright then, but next time, I�m not getting my arse up to buy you a pizza again.� He laughed.
The next day
�Yeah I will be there in about 5 mins ok?�
�Yeah.�
�Give me 5 minutes.�
�No, I need to get someone to look after my daughter.�
�Ye ah, alright chill, 5 minutes.�
�Bye.�
James slammed down his phone with aggression.
�Clare� He shouted up the stairs.
�Yep.� She smiled; she was actually looking forward to getting to know her dad having spoken with him the previous night.
�Well, I�ve got to go into work today, someone is sick, I aint got a clue who can look after you though.� James told her.
�Erm, well what about matt, he�s a bum I�m sure he wont have anything to do and besides he�ll get free food.� Clare suggested, she didn�t actually feel that she needed a baby sitter but she also didn�t fancy sitting alone all day either and as Matt was the only person she knew that was remotely close to her current location she felt he was a good candidate to come and keep her company, after all he amused her.
�I suppose.� Her father didn�t sound overly enthusiastic at the idea
James picked up the phone from its holder and dialed matt�s number, after several minutes persuasion, Matt agreed, but only because there was free food and drink being offered, and he didn�t really have anything better to do.
�So Matt, if you need me, you�ve got my number.� James smiled.
�James, just fuck off and go, I am capable of looking after someone you know.� Matt smiled as he pushed his friend out the door.
�So Clare, what you wanna do?�
�Erm fuck all, I�m just going to sit on my arse and watch TV.� She smiled.
�While I get pissed, sounds good to me� He smiled whilst heading for the fridge. Hours later both were sat on the sofa watch some crappy re � runs of friends.
�Fuck who watches this shite?� Clare asked no one in particular as she picked up the controller.
�Its ok actually, but I�ve seen them all.� Matt answered quietly his voice low in his throat.
�So you�re my dads mate, hey, you the same age?� Clare asked, although she was pretty sure that Matt was just slightly older.
�Yeah, I�m 33, I feel fucking well old, you�re 16 aren�t you?� He answered truthfully, although Clare fought the urge to tell him that he really didn�t look old. He was sprawled a cross the sofa, his jeans low on his hips, and his shirt outlining his physique perfectly.
�Yeah sucks though.� She said after a few seconds.
�Got a boyfriend?� Matt said half watching the TV.
�Na, I�m single, so i�m guessing you�ve got a wife and a few kids?� She smiled, although she was sort of hoping that he didn�t. But looking at him she gathered that he did, there was no way he would have existed that long and not been married.
�Actually no I haven�t, I�m single. Not quite young�but free and single.� As James wasn�t there he pulled out a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it.
�That�s a bad habit you know.� Clare huffed.
�Maybe it is, but hey it�s my body I can do what the fuck I want to it.� He answered as a plume of grey smoke emerged from his mouth.
�No one likes to snog an ashtray.� She informed him.
�Well I�m sure there are plenty of people that would disagree.�
�I bet there are. But I hate people who smoke, its just disgusting.�
�So you hate me then?� He wondered out loud, and she stubbed out his less than half smoked cigarette.
�Nah, your cool, even if you do smoke.� She smiled.
�Awww, I still have a fan.� He laughed to himself.
�I can see your can is empty, you want a Stella?� Clare offered whilst getting off the sofa.
�Erm yeah go on�
She now was going to try her luck, she desperately wanted something strong to drink and so she asked.
�Can I have a larger?� She asked politely.
�Your dad will bust my arse but go on I don�t see why not.� He smiled.
She didn�t stop there though, she asked for more and because he was totally out of it, he just kept saying yes.
�Sorry about that, Mike was ill so I had to go, I think I�ve gotta go in tomorrow as well. I�m really sorry.� James told Clare as he placed all of his work belongings onto the table.
�What am I meant to do, I don�t know any places round here, or anyone for that matter.�
�I guess another day with Matt is in order.� James huffed.
�Can�t you just not go in? I�m only here for one week.� Clare wined.
�I know you are and I�m sorry but I�ve got to go in.� James explained being a usual dad.
�Fine.� Clare stormed off.
It still seemed to Clare that James cared about his job more that his family. She didn�t hate him as much as she did, after hearing his story, but once more she felt hurt.
�Clare, I�m going now.� James shouted up the stairs. There was no answer. �Bye then� Still no answer.
�What�s with the silent treatment?� Matt asked a rather upset James.
�She asked me to stay home, to spend some time with her, but I said I couldn�t and now she aint speaking to me.� James told him.
�Well she has a point mate, you�ve not seen her for like what 16 years? And you�re going off to work.�
�I need to though, I need the money.� James answered and rushed out the door. Matt just rolled his eyes. As if he needed the money.
�Clare, your dads gone!�
Clare came rushing down the stairs and went straight for the kitchen, after giving her dad the silent treatment she had refused to eat.
�God I�m fucking starving.�
�Less of the language young lady.� Matt smirked
�Fuck off Matthew.�
�Stop calling me Matthew.� He cringed, only his mother called him that, and only when she was trying to lecture him about getting married.
�Why Matthew?�
�It makes me sound like I�m little.� He answered whilst picking up a full can of larger, and puffing out his chest, as if to prove that he wasn�t.
�Sorry Matthew.� She laughed and carried various foods into the living room.
�So why you not speaking to your dad?� Although he already knew he wouldn�t to hear what Clare had to say.
�He�s pissing me off, first of all he wants to get to know me and then the next he�s off to work.� She answered whilst munching on some mars bars.
�But at first you wouldn�t let him get to know you.� Matt said reasonably.
�Well, would you if he left my mum for his career, then suddenly when you�re old enough to understand, he wants to get to know you.�
� Ok so maybe I wouldn�t but come on he�s doing the best he can.� He tried to defend one of his oldest friends.
�You�ve suddenly changed your tune, who was the one telling my dad that I was right hey?�
�That�s not the point, missy, James cares loads about you and when you�re nasty to him, it hurts his feelings.� Matt explained.
�I suppose� She now had stopped eating. �Why the hell am I telling you this?� Clare wondered. He smiled.
�Now get me another larger women!� Matt smirked even more.
�I�m not your slave!� Clare huffed.
�Let me just remind you who�s the adult here.�
�And? Don�t mean I�m going to listen.�
�Oh you will do when I tell your dad a lie.� He laughed.
She moved closer to him, smiling at him as she did so. She lent over him whilst placing her small hands onto his knees.
�Maybe you wont have to lie.� She smiled, slowly lowering her head towards his, she breathed softly against his lips and kissed him gently. Whilst gradually moving her hands from his knee towards his chest. He was way to attractive to be her fathers mate.
�Your dad is going to kill me.� He breathed softly.
�Well he won�t need to find out it can be our little secret.� She smiled into his kiss.
�Little angel my arse.� He giggled. She finished kissing his smooth lips and stood up.
�Our little secret.� She smiled seductively.
James returned from what seemed like a hard days work; when actually he�d been sat on his arse all day listening to his boss complain about everything and everyone.
�That man can talk for bloody England.� James huffed. Clare got up off the sofa and made her way towards the living room door.
�You still not speaking to me?� She moved a gesture which situated she�d just locked her mouth like a zip.
�Clare please just talk to me.� James pleaded. She just stood there with her arms folded.
�Why?� Clare asked.
�Because I�m really sorry, I know I�ve been spending too much time at work but you have to understand I�m trying my hardest Clare, really I am.�
�I know you are, but I just want a dad.�
�You�ve got me, i�m always here for you.� James tried to explain.
�No, correction you think your work is more important, I�ve been here 2 days and not one of them have you spent with me, what was the point of me coming here? I�ve spent more time with Matt than with you!�
�Right, I�m going to keep a promise and not even work can break it.� James smiled.
�I�m not going to go into work tomorrow even if they try to persuade me.� A smile formed on her face, just like her dad�s bright and soothing.
�Really?� She shouted with happiness.
�Yeah, I wanna spend time with you, after all that�s why I invited you here in the first place.�
�Thanks dad, it means a lot.� Clare smiled.
�Well anything for you darling, so what shall we do then?� He asked whilst starting to get food ready for them both.
�Erm, I don�t mind, its not like I know what you can do around here, I live in shitty Wales.� She laughed.
�Sure, we�ll find something to do.� He answered whilst placing various vegetables on the kitchen top.
�So what�s Wales like then?� James wondered, he�d been once when he was little but being little he didn�t really remember much about it.
�Its ok, nothing really to do, but its nice.� Clare smiled.
�You got nice friends?�
�Yes, only a few, but they are really nice.�
�That�s good to hear, so I hear you have your exams this year.�
�Oh god, don�t remind me, it sucks arse.� She cringed at the thought of going back.
Clare felt really happy at this moment of time, he was actually making some effort to get to know her. For the rest of that night, they both sat down and talked and basically caught up on each other�s lives. James told Clare about his career in Busted and Clare, well she told him about her childhood and everything else he wanted to know.
�Wow this car rules, oh its got a CD player.� Clare eyes lit up as she pressed all the cd buttons. James just laughed.
�I�ll take you shopping, you can get what you want as long as it aint too much.�
�I can get anything?� Her mouth had already hit the floor when he had said she could go shopping.
�Yes, anything you want.� He smiled whilst looking carefully at the road.
�Can I get that?� Clare asked whilst picking up some rather revealing knickers.
�Erm�isn�t it about�. well�erm if you want them.� James desperately wanted to say no, but felt he couldn�t, as it would upset her.
�Thanks daddy.� She smiled her cheekiest grin.
Several shopping bags later, James had spent over �500 on clothes and make up. He�d never spent this much on himself, ever. He didn�t feel that bad though, after all he�d spent on someone who meant an awful lot to him.
�Right well if you drop your bags off upstairs, I�ll sort some food out.� James shouted up the stairs to Clare. Clare smiled to herself and she looked at her new clothes placing them on her body as she danced in front of the mirror. She smiled to herself knowing for well that she�d had a good time with her dad.
�What? I�ve told you i�m not coming in today, why?� Clare heard James shout into his mobile phone. She guessed he was going into work again.
�Fine, but I swear i�m not doing it again.�
Clare was not sat on the stairs looking rather annoyed, one promise that�s all she wanted but he could not keep it.
�You�re going in I guess.�
�I�m sorry darlin�.� He frowned.
�One promise, guess it was too hard.�
�Don�t be like that, I took you out.� He was now starting to get angry.
�Yeah I know and I appreciate but how long did that last? Oh yeah about 4 hours.�
�Listen young lady, I�ve tried my hardest to please you and from what I can see its not happening. I�m sick of you treating me like I�m the bad guy when i�m not! I�m off to work and no crying can stop me alright.� He shouted as he picked up his jacket. �Matt will be around later.� And with that he stormed out the door.
Clare sat on the stairs and began to cry, why didn�t he understand that she just wanted him to spend some quality time with her; she didn�t mean to sound like she was making it hard for him.
�Clare.� Matt called whilst opening the door. She was still sat on the stairs crying.
�Hmmm.�
�What�s up?� He said, as he sat down beside her.
�He�s gone to work, but had a massive argument with me, saying he didn�t care if I cried he�d still go into work.�
�Aww don�t worry darlin�, you�ve got me.� He smiled whilst wiping the tears of her face with his sleeve.
�Thanks.� She smiled.
He gently moved the hair on her face behind her ears and slowly began to kiss her tender lips.
He took her hand and led her into the living room, kissing her neck as he did so. Although Matt was 17 years older than her, she was going to control. She gently pushed him down onto the sofa and straddled his lap, smiling seductively as she did so. She moved her hand slowly towards the top of matt�s jeans and smiled. No permission was needed. She quickly unzipped his jeans and placed her small hand into his navy blue boxers.
�I can stop.� She spoke, sarcasm evident in her voice.
�No� carry on.� He whispered and closed his eyes, his long eyelashes fluttering against his cheek.
She began to move her hand back and forth slowly at first but gradually getting faster. Matt�s fingers curled as he felt her touch him.
�Hmmm�so fucking soft.� Matt panted, and then suddenly his body arched off the sofa and he screamed out in pleasure. She removed her hand from his now unclean boxers and got up off his lap.
�Sorry if I was rubbish.� She said, somewhat unsure of her performance. And he had so much more experience than she did.
�My god you cant call that rubbish, fuck man that was excellent.� He smiled whilst doing up his jeans, having to lift his tee slightly to fasten his belt. She smiled; obviously she�d done her job well.
�You haven�t said anything to your dad have you?� Matt asked, suddenly concerned.
�No of course not, why you so bothered anyway? You�re a grown man.�
�You actually have to ask me that question? He�d kill me, I�m 33, you�re 16 are you seeing the problem.�
�So he can�t do anything, I said it�s going to be our little secret and it will stay that way.�
�Seriously though if he did find out.�
�Well if he does he�ll get a piece of my mind he aint bothered about me up until now and therefore he don�t have any control on me.�
�He�ll still go mad, Clare darlin I�m serious just think about.� But was stopped in mid sentence, by Clare�s finger touching his lips.
�Matt shut the fuck up.� She said and kissed him again.
�Clare I�m really sorry again, I know I�m not going to work, but she�s gorgeous I totally forgot, she had asked me before.� James explained the night�s goings on.
�To be honest, I don�t care what you do, go out get pissed do what the fuck you want.� Clare hissed.
�Why are you making this so hard for me?� James asked as he sat down on the sofa beside her.
�Dad, I�m not trying to hurt you in anyway or form, but everyday this week not one of them have you spent with me. Ok so maybe you did take me shopping and I appreciate that as you bought me so many nice stuff, but it upsets me you know; I actually thought this week would be rather fun because I was seeing you, my dad, but truthfully I may as well stayed at home, its been pointless.�
�You really feel that way?�
�Yes I do.�
�I�ve tried really I have, I�m just not used to it.�
�But you�ve not even bothered to try!�
�Listen darlin� I have to go now, but we will talk about this when I get back.� He kissed her on the cheek.
�Ok, have a good time.� She smiled.
James picked up his car keys off the table and headed out, he was smarty dressed and off to meet a young lady for a date. Which meant Clare would be alone with Matt all night. A gentle knock could be heard on the door, she got up off the sofa and made her way towards the door. She opened it to see Matt standing there with a red rose in his hand.
�For you.� He smiled sweetly.
�Aw Matt, thanks.� She grinned and clutched onto the rose.
�It�s a thanks for last night.�
�Don�t mention it.� She delicately placed the rose onto the table, careful not to destroy it.
�I was wondering you know maybe we could go further tonight.� Matt nervously suggested shifting like a little kid. �Erm�well if that�s what you want.� There were a few minutes of silence while Clare considered his offer. She liked Matt a lot but this was really sudden, yet somehow she knew that if she didn�t accept his offer she�d be kicking herself later, and he was so sweet. She looked up from the rose and smiled.
�Yeah�I think I do�I mean if you want�� She was so nervous she began to shake.
�I would like that.� He gently took her hand and then there was another awkward silence. �But don�t tell your dad.� Smirked matt whilst leading her upstairs, kissing her whilst carefully trying to carry her up the stairs.
�Dads room, bigger bed.� Clare spoke whilst enjoying matt kissing her neck. He pushed the door open with his foot and carefully placed her onto the bed. He looked around unsure as to whether it was such a good idea she, after all, it was his best mates daughter and this was his bed.
�Matt, I�. erm�this�is�I�ve�not�done�. it�. Before.� She had a slight look of worry in her eye. He took a moment to look at her, and nodded.
He began to slowly remove her clothes, although she wasn�t wearing much in the first place (she had been previously wearing her pajamas.) He pulled off the top and bottoms both painfully slowly, and ran his masculine hands down her stomach, and down to between her legs. She moaned softy at his touch.
She became conscious of the fact that he was wearing way too many clothes and began by removing his dark t-shirt. He moved his arms so that she could pull it over his head. What she found underneath came as somewhat of a surprise to her. She had seen pictures of the band and from what she could gather her father had always been the most physically fit of the three. However with age he had lost what definition he had, and although he wasn�t fat he carried more weight than his younger self. Matt however, seemed more toned than he was when he was younger, Clare guessed that having nothing else better to do he had finally got round to using the gym that he was a member of.
Her small hands moved to unbutton his flies, and pushed his jeans over his hips, while he moved his hand back to continue working on her. She felt herself begin to get hot, and she could feel her insides pulsing. But never the less she continued on her mission and removed his cotton black Tommy Hilfigure boxers.
She pushed them over his hips and he shimmied out of them, she grabbed his dick rougher than what was meant as suddenly she was thrown over the edgy, she saw him wince but neither of them spoke.
�Are you sure?� Matt asked her.
�Just�do� it.� Clare was writhing. Matt slowly removed his fingers and carefully began to slide into her. Clare�s face contorted with pain, and she tried to move to get comfortable but to no amends. It was actually hurting.
�Sorry�babe.� Matt began to move slowly and as he did the pain began to lessen slightly. His thrusts began to increase in speed but Clare didn�t really notice, it wasn�t so much hurting anymore as aching, but it was also sort of nice at the same time, it was very hard to explain accurately.
She moved her hands to Matt�s shoulders as he braced himself above her, kissing any piece of flesh that he possibly could. He was sweating and panting, while muttering incoherent things into her skin. She knew he was close.
When he came he looked more than beautiful, his slammed into her much smaller frame and his back arched, and his muscles tensed, and he screamed out her name. And then his head dropped to her throat while he attempted to find his way back to reality.
He braced himself above her, for a few minutes before rolling to her side and pulling her to his hot chest, and kissing her head. Clare ached but she knew it would fade with time.
*Slam! * The front door suddenly sprung open and there standing was a rather pissed off James.
�Fuck!� Matt scrambled off the bed and panicked.
�Oh god matt.� Clare leapt up and began pulling on her nightclothes. Meanwhile Matt had successfully found his boxers and was pulling on his trouser. Clare tossed him his t-shirt and pushed him inside the closet. �In here.� Clare whispered as James came bounding up the stairs undoing his tie.
�That women is such a bitch!� James shouted whilst throwing his tie onto the chair.
�Why dad, what happened?� Clare spoke whilst out of breath; after all she�d just put her pajamas on in 5 seconds flat.
�I dunno she was just so fucking annoying, Jesus her laugh is so irritating.�
�Erm well, we don�t I make you a tea and you can tell me about it yeah?� Clare suggested whilst pushing James out of the door.
�I was hoping to get an early night, but yeah don�t see why not.� James answered while wondering why Clare was suddenly so keen to speak to him.
Clare sighed in relief; this meant Matt could escape from the closet without getting caught. Not long after both Clare and James had reached the kitchen, Matt was making his way down the stairs looking rather flustered still.
�Here you go� Clare smiled as she placed the warm cup into James hand.
�So what was up with your women then?� Matt asked like nothing between him and Clare had happened.
�You know, same old same old.� James answered looking rather strangely at Matt�s face; it wasn�t really hot in the house so why did he look so hot and sweaty?
�Clare can you leave the room please, I need to talk to Matt alone about something.� He told Clare as he placed his cup on the side. She just nodded and made her way towards the door, leaving it only just open so she could hear what was going on.
�One question matt, what the hell made you think that you could get away with fucking my daughter� James asked with one of those looks which meant i�m going to kill you.
�I don�t know what you�re talking about, mate.�
�Do you think i�m fucking stupid?� James shouted, his blood bubbling ever so slightly.
�No of course not, mate calm down� Matt calmly answered as he saw James� face redden. �I swear to god if you ever lay another fucking finger on my daughter again I swear to god�
�Why what the fuck you gonna do about it hey?� Matt shouted rather pissed off with the way James was speaking to him.
�Oh mate I can do a lot of things, like banning her from seeing you or you never coming here
Again, just cause i�ve not seen her for 16 years didn�t mean I cant set some ground rules. In fact why are you even here? I�m sorry I don�t recall even knowing anyone called Matthew.� Matt bit his lip to prevent himself from pissing his friend of any more. He knew that he was out of order for sleeping with Clare but he wasn�t about to be told what to do.
As Clare was standing near the door listening to every word the both were saying she immediately barged in through the door sticking up for matt.
�You can�t stop me from seeing anybody!� Clare shouted.
�Clare this is not the time to be stupid, haven�t your realised that he�s 33 for fucks sake, your 16! He�s old enough to be your fucking father for god�s sake. In fact he�s older than your father.�
�So what? It�s your fault this has happened anyway, if you would have kept your promise and spent time with me then Matt wouldn�t have been the one looking after me.�
�Don�t you blame this on me, you�ve just shagged my 33 year old friend.� James was now incredibly pissed off and those words cut deeply into Clare, she ran out of the room and straight for her bedroom.
�Don�t you think you were out of order there!�?
�Just fuck off Matt.�
�What the fuck no� she�s you�re fucking daughter man stop acting like a bully and be a father.� James turned to Matt.
�And I suppose you think you know it all don�t you? You�re nothing but a sad old man with nothing better to do that fuck girls that are half your age. So what was she like Matthew, come on tell me, you usually do, I�m sure you�ll get some sick satisfaction out of it.� Just then they heard the door slam and Clare ran out into the night wearing nothing but her nightclothes, her vans and a long black coat, which her mother had bought her after much argument.
�Well I didn�t see her running away from me!� Matt was beginning to make his way towards the door.
�Where the fuck do you think you�re going?�
�After her seen as she�s only got a prick of a father who cares more about work than her.� With that James� fist connected with Matt�s face. He looked in shock at his friend as he was driven into the wall and James was punching and kicking him. �What the fuck�just get off me.� Matt pushed James away and turned to exit the room, blood dripping from his face.
Clare ran as fast as possible not looking back to see what was behind her, salty tears pouring from her eyes. She had no idea where the hell she was going; she�d never actually been shown anywhere, apart from the shopping centre but that wasn�t much of an adventure. No light shone from the moon or from any streetlights for that matter as there wasn�t any. Why did he have to buy a house in the middle of fucking nowhere? She thought to her self. She was now becoming breathless but was scared of stopping, she couldn�t be arsed with another one of her dad�s lectures. She finally just stopped and slowly put her arms around herself to try and keep her warm, and wished at that moment that she had bothered to get dressed. Looking both ways she noticed that she could not see much light or any movements and guessed she was lost. It was like a never ending skyline the more you tried to reach it the more you felt like you were drifting away.
Matt quickly ran up to his car and fiddled with his keys but having no such luck.
�Fuck! Come on.� He shouted in the air.
Finally out of much aggression he opened the car door and rushed to start the engine. He steered out of James long driveway and put his foot down on the pedal desperately trying to go as fast as possible. �Where are you Clare?� Matt spoke out aloud whilst glancing everywhere he could, his headlights guiding the path.
After hours of searching Matt still had no luck of finding Clare. He stopped the car and rested his arms on the steering wheel and ran his fingers through his hair. He sat thinking for one moment and wondered why this was happening. Everyone would say it was his fault and he should of known better, but you can�t deny your feelings not for anyone not even if they�re 17 years younger than you.
Clare�s phone began to ring she slowly began to look at who was calling and yes it was James. Out of aggression she threw the phone into the nearby ditch and screamed with anger. �Why isn�t there a bloody village around here?� Clare cried to herself. To make the situation even more worse than it actually was it began to rain, slowly at first but chucking buckets the more she began to walk. No hood of hers was going to protect her; her clothes were now soaking including her coat, as it wasn�t waterproof. She so wished her mother were sterner and refused to let her have the coat in the first place, but no. The more she walked the more she felt scared, why didn�t she just stay in her room? She could be nice and warm, but no she was walking down a small country lane in nothing but some soaking pajamas and a coat. As she saw a bright light coming from the opposite direction, she began to walk much faster than she had been previously. Being on a country lane alone whilst a car was coming from the opposite direction wasn�t really Clare�s idea of happiness. The horn of the car began to beep and so she was not taking her chances and began to run.
�Clare!� She heard someone shout. She turned around wanting to see who had spoken her name. Matt ran with all his might up to Clare and grabbed her, pulling all of her body into his.
�Matt I�m really sorry.� She said looking at his face.
�No it�s not your fault at all.� He comforted.
�It is I should have never of done anything with you, I�ve fucked up your friendship with my dad.� She cried into his chest.
�I don�t care about him now, lets just get you back to mine and sort you out yeah?� He smiled, happy to have her back in his arms.
�Ok.� She wasn�t going to disagree with any of his decisions after all she was soaking.
The drive to his wasn�t so long, unlike James�s house it wasn�t in the middle of nowhere it was actually surrounded be many other apartments. He locked his car when both had got out and led her by hand into his apartment.
�Right you go the bathroom get a bath or something, and I�ll see what you can put on whilst they dry.� Matt answered referring to her wet pajamas.
�Thanks.� She smiled. He showed her the bathroom and placed a pair of checked boxers and a jakesville t-shirt in her hands.
�Now go get warm.� He smiled and shut the bathroom door behind her. When washed and dressed she emerged from the bathroom, holding onto her wet clothes, which she had worn previously. She made her way into his living room and saw Matt lying on the sofa smoking.
�I didn�t know where to put my wet clothes so I put them on the radiator in the bathroom.� She told him.
�Yeah that�s fine.� He smiled and moved over so she could sit down.
�I know you don�t want to hear this again, but I�m really sorry.�
�It�s not your fault, it�s mine.� He huffed.
�How is it your fault? You didn�t do anything.�
�I did, I slept with my best friends 16 year old daughter, I should have known better, as James said you�re less than half my age, its such a big age difference.�
�Are you ashamed of sleeping with me?� She asked.
�No I�m not ashamed of anything we did, you�re a pretty girl, I don�t see why anyone would be ashamed of sleeping with such a wonderful girl�but I should have known better.�
She just smiled, she really did appreciate all the nice things he was saying about her, but she just felt so guilty. She was the reason James had rejected Matt and his friendship and she doubted that they would ever be friends again.
�I think you need that cleaning up.� She spoke whilst referring to his lip. He had totally forgot about it.
�Na it�ll be alright� At this moment of time he was trying to be the big strong man, when actually he was aching but he didn�t want to appear weak. She took his hand and pulled him off the sofa, making her way towards the bathroom.
�Sit there.� She instructed and he sat down on the edge of the bath. She ran the cold tap for a few seconds and placed some tissue underneath it until the tissue become damp. Moving her hand fast so none of the water dripped, she placed the tissue onto his lip, whilst her other hand rested on his shoulder.
�That fucking stings.� He winced.
�Cuts usually do.� She giggled to herself. She wiped the remaining blood off his lips and placed the tissue in the bin.
�There, its ok now, it will sting for a bit, but it�s nothing serious.�
�Thanks darlin�.� He smiled, appreciating the fact that she had helped him.
Both were sat on the sofa watching some late night programme, which wasn�t really that interesting. Nothing was said between them; there was too much going on in each other�s heads. Matt was more upset than angry, so maybe he didn�t like James attitude towards his daughter, but it certainly did not mean he had to act the way he did. But Matt was stubborn and he knew right from wrong and he didn�t need someone to explain it to him. He turned his head slightly just to see if she was ok and she was, nested in his strong arms asleep. He noticed how she looked so small in his clothes; after all they were many sizes too big and suddenly realised in his head that she was still only a child. She did look slightly older than 16 but even if she was older again she was still only a child. He nudged her gently.
�Clare, think you better go to bed.� He laughed softly. She moved slowly in his arms and her long eyelashes began to open to show her tidy blue eyes.
�What?� She wondered whilst fiddling with her clothes to make herself look presentable.
�You�ve just fallen asleep.�
�O rite, sorry.�
�I�ll sleep on the sofa tonight don�t think its such a good idea, me sleeping the same bed as you.� He reasoned as she stood up.
�Its your bed you sleep there.� She didn�t understand his change in attitude.
�Nah I�ll be fine here, listen you�re tired you need some sleep you don�t need to be getting sick.� She wasn�t going to disagree with any thing he said, as she could see that he was rather annoyed and she was rather concerned that he would turn on her and then she would have nowhere to go. She made her towards the living room door.
�Love you.� She whispered as she reached the door.
The morning sun shone through the curtains as matt walked into his bedroom.
�Clare darlin�.� The covers on his bed began to move as Clare moved to open her eyes. �Sleep good?� H e asked gently.
�Mmmm.� She mumbled into a nearby pillow.
�You need clothes.� Matt informed her.
�It�s all at my dads, oh yeah and I chucked my phone in a ditch.� She again mumbled not appreciating the fact that she�d just been woken up.
�Why the fuck did you do that?�
�Dad rang and I was upset, I didn�t want to speak to him so I threw it there.� Mat t rolled his eyes.
�Well ignore him now, I�m gonna have to take you shopping for something then aren�t I?� He laughed to himself
�I guess so yeah.� She smiled.
�I swear if you pick clothes which cost me fuck loads, I�ll kill ya.� He laughed whilst getting up from his position sitting on the edge of the bed.
�Right, well again I�m going to have to find you some clothes to borrow.� He searched through his wardrobe and tried to find some suitable clothes for her to slip into. He passed her a pair of shorts and another t-shirt. He would have given her a pair of his jeans, but he felt that they would be miles to big. Luckily for her though, both the shorts (which were actually crop pants on her, being so small) and the t-shirt matched, so she wouldn�t have to walk around looking like a twat� well that much of a twat at least. Matt didn�t seem to care that Clare was standing in the room, he began to strip, removing his t-shirt over his head to reveal a masculine figure which Clare had fallen for in the first place. Not as scared, as she was the first time she began to get changed herself; it wasn�t like she had anything better to do anyway. Matt never turned his head once, although he was fascinated by Clare�s body he still felt that a women or girl in her case needed privacy so that�s what he gave her.
�Jesus man there well big on me.� He just laughed to himself.
�The quicker we get you some of your own, the quicker I can get my clothes back.�
He slammed the door of his car and locked it. Taking her hand to show that he was not ashamed of being seen with her. She dragged him into nearest topshop, giggling away softly as she noticed the expression on his face. No trainers were needed she already had them; just a pair of trousers, a top and a bra was required.
�Thanks, you really didn�t need to do that, I really appreciate it though.� Clare smiled as he gave her the bag.
�Well I couldn�t let you not have anything to wear could I?� He thought that maybe all of this was for his own benefit, as if truth be known he didn�t want people to find out he had a girl of 16 living in his house with no clothes�the more he thought about that scenario the more it made him sound perverted.
They both walked hand in hand back to matt�s car to travel home. Matt wasn�t really being that talkative, the more he thought about the situation the more he felt slightly disgusting. He seriously didn�t think it was right to be living with a 16-year-old girl who he happened to be in a relationship with. Normally to him the age difference between some of his girlfriends didn�t mean much to him, but for some strange reason this one did. Clare fastened her seatbelt as Matt began to start the engine.
�I�ll get my mum to pay you back for the clothes.�
�Why? You don�t need to it was a present� He smiled. But the word �mom� lingered in his head.
�Thanks.�
The further they traveled the more Matt noticed the car behind them getting rather close, which he didn�t like.
�Fuck man, how close does that guy wanna get?� Matt wondered as he checked his wing mirror.
�Its probably some boy racer who wants to over take.�
�But he�s getting too close.� Again he turned behind trying to get a better view of the car. As Clare wasn�t the one driving she felt that if she looked back to see whom it was, so Matt could pay more attention on the road.
�Matt.� She paused. �Its Dad!� She sighed as she turned her head back. Matt rolled his eyes, he knew what his friend was like, and he was the one to keep grudges. He pressed his foot down on the pedal harder than he had been doing previously and watched the speedometer clock rise.
�Right, I swear if he doesn�t back off, there�s going to be trouble.�
�Go down there, you might lose him.� Clare suggested.
�He�ll still follow us, I know what James is like.�
Every so often Matt would turn his head just to look back at James, he didn�t think about using his rear view mirror, which would have been more suitable. Not noticing the light had turned red; Matt pressed his foot down as hard as possible and again didn�t seem to care about what was happening in front of him, more behind.
�MATTTTTTTTTTT!� Clare screamed noticing that they were approaching another vehicle to fast and she just knew that he couldn�t stop.
�Wha...� He answered as he turned his head back but his sentence wasn�t finished. It was too late. Both bodies moved violently towards the dashboard and ricocheted back, covering the car interior with blood. James was in shock and immediately braked, not sure if this was actually happening. He opened the door and rushed out towards the smoking wreck.
�Matt� Clare!� He screamed, just wanting to know if his best mate and daughter were all right. He could hear coughing and the slight wince of someone in pain, he guessed it was Matt seen as it was a fairly deep voice.
�Clare�� Matt tried to speak. She didn�t answer, her eyes were shut and a small stream of blood trickled down her head past her temple.
�Matt give me your hand.� James shouted as he could see an opening to free him.
�I�can�t�Clare.� He coughed in pain.
�She�ll be ok, we�ll help her together, please just give my your hand.� James calmly told Matt.
Matt slowly reached out and grasped James hand, although it was painful, he tried his best. He moved through the space he had, not caring about the amount of glass shattered everywhere. With a lot of pushing he arrived back to the outside world.
�Listen Matt, I�m sorry about what I�ve done, but this is important we need to get her out.� Matt nodded in agreement and both ran over to the side Clare was. It did not matter how fast they ran because in a matter of seconds the car blew up, spraying everyone in bits of glass and metal. Large flames grew into the sky, turning the mid winter sky into a rather gloomy grey. Matt cried out in pain, he�d never actually felt this emotional over someone dying, but it obviously meant that Clare was a part of him.
�CLARE!!!!!!!!!� Matt screamed, just wanting her to get up and come running towards him, although he knew she wouldn�t. �Its all your fault, I hate you James, I fucking hate you.�
�And don�t you think I feel guilty enough? My daughters dead Matt� DEAD!� James cried.
�If you hadn�t been checking up on us, then maybe nothing would of happened, she�d still be here to hold, but no� again in your life you make the fucking wrong choices. You just can�t stand someone being able to cope without you.�
�You were the one speeding!�
�To be honest I don�t fucking care, you just stay away from me ok, never again will I wont to see your face again.�
�But Matt�� James tried to reason.
�NEVER.�
Months Later
Slowly crouching down, he placed several red roses onto the muddy ground, tears dripping from his cloudy eyes. Placing one of his masculine hands onto the cold gravestone, He gently stroked the carvings of her name with his fingers. Moving ever so slightly writing the letters of her name like they were never there, non-existent.
�I brought you these, I�m not sure if they are your favourite, but its what I gave you, you know when we first decided to sleep together. If you don�t like them I�ll take them back.� Wiping the tears from his eyes, he began to sit down not caring about the soggy marsh underneath him.
�I�m not sure if you can hear me and I don�t suppose you can, I just need someone to talk to and I know if you were here with me you�d listen� The sound of the tress rustling and the hint of a few birds singing, made him realise just how peaceful it was.
�I guess you think I�m stupid, talking to nothing I just don�t have anyone else to talk too. Your dad still tries to speak to me, but me being stubborn I chose to ignore him. I think your mum and him are getting back together; they�ve been talking about it, much to my announce. The reason I know this is because I went back to your dads just to get some of your stuff, for me to remember you by and that�s when I heard it. I don�t mind them getting back together as that�s how they once were, but the fact that he killed you, your own flesh and blood did that to you and she sees this as alright, bloody annoys me.� Slamming his hands onto the ground below, he cried with frustration.
�I�m sorry� Apologising for his unusual behaviour.
Slowing lifting his head, he felt a cold presence around him, choking his air of oxygen.
�Don�t be sorry, your allowed to cry� He heard a faint voice surround him. Looking down at his shivering arm, he felt something cold softly grip his hand. Startled he jumped from his squatting position and panicked.
�Calm down, I�ve not come to hurt you, you said you needed someone to talk too so that�s what I�m here to do� The figure smiled.
�But you�re dead, you can�t be here not now, not after what happened to you� Matt still began to walk away nervously.
�Please don�t go!�
�I�you�you�re�dead� He stuttered.
�I know, but that�s not my fault and you know that. Please Matt just stay you have to at least let me hold you, I can�t do this again�
Apprehensively he shuffled his feet, treading ever so carefully up to the outline. Arriving at her, he noticed just how cold she was; his warm body compared nothing to hers, all cloudy and frozen. Raising her hand just to touch him one last time he shivered.
�You�re really cold,� He whispered.
�I can never be warm again� She clenched onto his hand, not wanting to let him go for the second time.
�Did it hurt?� He asked, wondering what it would feel like to die.
�No dying didn�t, but leaving you did� She answered cuddling into his chest.
�Me and James tried to get you out, but it was too late� He tried to explain just to show that he did attempt.
�Come with me� She beamed, sticking out her frosty hand.
�Where?�
�Back with me, follow me, nothing can happen to you there�
�I can�t, I really want to, but I can�t�
�You can! Please don�t leave me again Matt� She began to cry, producing clear less tears.
�Don�t say that I never left you in the first place you were murdered� He shouted still annoyed with the fact that James has caused this.
�It was an accident�
�No it wasn�t and you know that, he wanted to seek revenge and just happened to kill the wrong person and that was you�
�He never wanted to kill you, you�re his best friend�
�Can we just stop please?� He again whispered, not wanting to shout.
�Sorry� She apologised, not wanting to hurt him anymore than she actually had.
�Its ok� He smiled, gripping ever so tightly onto her cold hand. Taking his free hand she placed a smooth, but cold kiss into his hand.
�Something to remember me by, I�ve got to go� She made his heart stop; she couldn�t be going, not that quickly. He began to cry, not sure how he should feel. Maybe this was all a dream, maybe it was just in his head, and at the moment in time he really didn�t know how to interrupt his feelings.
�Don�t forget I�ll always be watching you, were ever you will be, I�ll be there. I will be the one protecting you from danger�
�I�ll miss you�
�Love you� Was the last thing she said to him, slowly kissing his lips, she began to disappear, becoming a small cloud of air, fading into the sky.