Never Had A Dream Come True
He walked into the small room, hands shaking as he held his guitar. He stepped up onto the small platform which had been set up for the large number of people who had turned up to audition. Clearing his throat, he belted out Soul Asylum's hit, Runaway Train, proving not only that his voice was amazing - slightly husky and very distinctive, but amazing nevertheless - but also that he was a brilliant guitarist.
Just what Matt Willis and James Bourne wanted. In fact, as James took in his handsome features, it was clear that Charlie Simpson was just what HE wanted. Not that James would have the confidence to come out to someone as gorgeous as him - or anyone for that matter. Except Matt, of course.
When Charlie finished his rendition of Runaway Train, he waited for acknowledgement from either boy sitting in front of him. James could only stare in awe, mouth hung open, and mutter a 'wow'. Matt laughed. 'Woah, that was fucking amazing, man.'
A grin spread across Charlie's face. 'Thank you.'
James and Matt grinned back, and then at each other.
'Should we even bother with the rest?' Matt laughed.
James sighed. 'We'd better give them a chance.'
But no one was as good as Charlie. No one, during that long afternoon, could sing quite so brilliantly. No one, who had brought an instrument, could play to Charlie's standard. And no one was as drop dead gorgeous in James' eyes.
That night, James slept happily, dreaming of Charlie. Of how it would feel to be able to snuggle up to him whenever he felt lonely. To be able to feel Charlie's strong arms around him. To be able to reach up, not caring what anyone else though, and kiss his soft lips. But to James, this would remain a dream. No more.
It was just under two weeks later when James and Matt decided to phone Charlie. They had been preparing some material for him to hear, so both boys were nervous - what if he didn't like it? What if he didn't get on with them? What if -?
Charlie picked up his ringing phone and pressed the button, holding it up to his ear. 'Hello?'
'Hey hey,' Matt's cheeky voice said. 'It's Matt, you know, from the band you auditioned for?'
'Oh right, yeah.' Charlie was worried - had they called to tell him he hadn't made it? They'd found someone better? Or..?
'Just called to ask, do you wanna come over to James' some time? We've written some stuff you might like to hear.'
'Um, OK.. what -'
Matt laughed. 'Don't sound so nervous - if you like it, you're in.'
'Wow, really?'
'Really.'
Charlie was smiling as he hung up. He just had to hope their music was good.
And it was, of course. All three of them were nervous when, two days after the phone call, Charlie turned up on the doorstep. He was immediately impressed, when James proudly showed him his mini-studio equipment.
Luckily for all of them, he was even more impressed with the material they had come up with. So maybe it was slightly more poppy than he'd exactly hoped for, but it had that rocky edge that he liked. At least they weren't just another shitty boyband.
They decided to move in together shortly after, so that they could write more tracks, so they bought a flat in North Finchley, London. Charlie admitted that he could play drums too, as well as piano and even a bit of bass. Matt, who had not been playing bass for that long, had been the drummer, but he decided to return to bass - it was obvious that Charlie was better. However, James argued that Charlie suited guitar much better - after all, you could have a drum machine, but not a lead or rhythm guitar machine.
In the end, James' option was chosen. They would probably find a drummer anyway, even if he wasn't permanent.
And, of course, James' hopes and dreams were shattered when Charlie told them he was in a steady relationship with someone called Camilla.
'You really like him, don't you?' Matt suddenly said one day, when he found James sitting on the side of his bed, guitar in hand, but as usual, distracted by thoughts of Charlie.
His head jerked up, his mind returning to reality. 'W-what?'
'Charlie. You really like him, yeah?'
James' cheeks went a deep shade of red. 'It's not that obvious, is it?'
'Nah, but I've known you for a while now. You're my best mate, man. I can just tell these things.'
James smiled. 'Just don't tell him.'
'I won't.'
Indeed, he didn't. The boys returned to their families for Christmas the following week. James wanted only one thing, one person, but that person was off limits. He had to admit though, that after meeting Camilla, she actually turned out to be very nice. It was no wonder Charlie liked her - they were almost perfect for each other.
And that's why James was surprised when, another couple of weeks later, Camilla broke it off with him for being 'too involved with music' and 'not having enough time' for her. And while James was partly happy, it hurt to know that he could still never have Charlie - and seeing him upset hurt him even more.
About four nights later, James found himself lying awake. As usual. It seemed that he could never sleep any more - he would stay awake until well after 3am, just thinking of Charlie. On this particular night, it was around 1.30am, when James suddenly had a crazy idea. He found the door of Charlie's bedroom, and quietly opened it, praying that the door would not creak. It didn't, and James signed with relief. Tiptoeing across the room, careful not to wake Charlie up, he looked around in the darkness, finding his way through, past a bowl of mouldy cereal, towards the bed.
He took a deep breath before bending down and planting a soft kiss on Charlie's lips. 'I love you,' he whispered. Got up. Turned back towards the door. Made it back to his own room. Thanked God that Charlie had not waken up.
But Charlie had not needed to wake up. He had already been awake. James had not noticed him open his eyes when he opened the door. Charlie did not know why he hadn't said anything - maybe he couldn't be bothered. Maybe he had known what was going to happen. Maybe he had wanted it to happen. But whatever, all he knew was that he was glad it had happened - in a strange way. If only he had the courage to tell James.
Over the next few weeks, the band were thinking seriously about looking for a record deal. James concentrated as much as he could on making it work, not wanting his feelings for Charlie to get in the way of their chance of success.
And then Valentines Day came. James plucked up the courage to send one, with a single question mark written inside - he was too scared to write anything else, in case the recipient recognised his handwriting. He watched nervously as Charlie opened it with a smile on his face. Charlie looked up and gave James an uneasy smile.
He knows, James thought. Matt told him.
There was a card for James too. If only it was from Charlie, he thought. He read the message written inside. And almost died.
Just so you know, I was awake that night. I love you too.
(you know who this is from)
Slowly, he raised his eyes to meet Charlie's gaze. His face broke into a huge grin.
'Chazwick..' he started. 'Oh God, I'm so sorry about that night.'
Charlie laughed. 'Well..' He reached over and pulled James into his arms. Just like in so many of James' dreams. Charlie looked into his eyes. He had never noticed just how bright James' blue eyes were - he was mesmerised. 'Just out of interest, how long have you liked me?'
James blushed. 'Ever since the first day I saw you. At the audition. How about you?'
'I don't know,' Charlie admitted. 'I didn't think I did, but then that night.. God, I just wanted you so bad.' He leaned in slightly, and James closed his eyes, waiting for his lips to meet Charlie's for the second time.
They were interrupted by a loud bang of the front door closing, marking the return of Matt, who had been out shopping. Both guys sprang to their feet, and quickly hid their cards under a chair.
'Damn, what did I miss?' Matt laughed, noting their shocked expressions as he walked in.
James forced himself to look relaxed. 'What do you mean?'
'Nothing.' Matt gave him a knowing smile. 'Well, I'd better, erm, put this shopping away.' He winked and left the room, closing the door behind him.
'He knows.' A blank expression came over James' face.
Charlie shrugged. 'He'd find out eventually. And he knows you like me, right?'
'Yeah.'
'Well then.' Charlie took a step towards James, grinning. 'Where were we?'
James put his arms around Charlie's waist, as Charlie traced James' face with his fingers, taking in what he was seeing. An image of perfection - his hair, fluffed up and scruffy in a cute way; his eyebrows, not too bushy, but not too thin; his eyes, a gorgeous bright blue colour with darker lines running through them like electricity; his nose, cute and squishy; his lips, so soft that he wanted to touch them.
'God, James -' he started, but was silenced by James' lips as they met his own. He opened his mouth slightly, to let James' tongue enter, which James accepted willingly, beginning to explore Charlie's mouth, just like he had so many times in his dreams.
Except this time, it was real.