“Ash!” my science teacher, Ms. Johansson yelled at me.
“Yeah... Oops... Yes?” I said.
“Go sit there with your partner, James, James Bourne,” she said.
Yuck. I thought. He’s the weird kid with the funny face. I hate him, for no reason, just because he’s so childish. I made fun of him once, I put all kinds of weird gooey stuff in his locker, funny, I still think.
“Hi, don’t talk to me, don’t see me, don’t even bother to think I’m here,” I said in a not-so-nice way.
I picked my bag from the floor, accidentally knocking my pencil off my desk.
“Here, oops... I’m not supposed to talk. Am I?” said him, putting my pencil back.
I didn’t say anything to him.
There was only silence in our team. James didn’t talk to me through the lesson, and that was great for me.
The bell rang, and I quickly go away from there to meet my best friend, Samantha. This is back to school day, so I haven’t seen her for a long time.
“So, how is it going for you?” asked her.
“Well, for starter, in science, I sat with one of my best rival, James” I said, I don’t know why I say rival too, because he never beat me at anything, but I did.
“That’s hardcore. And how about Matt there?” she asked. Matt is my crush, my first crush, and he kept me as one of his best mates and nothing more.
“I don’t know, I never see him again,” I said, I never met him again, because his parents found a new job in America.
“Well, I think you should do something about James. Because in science, I heard you should do a project and the team who win it, will go to a field trip to America,” said Samantha.
“America? Matt?” I said as I closed my locker. The bell rang. “I better go to Math class. See you!” I said.
I’m on way to math class. I was running my butt off to get there as fast as I could. I was late. Again. Well, another day, I thought as I slept my way through math class.
Today is science day… Again, I have to see that James again. Why can’t I just sit with Matt and things could get better? I thought.
“Well children, I’m going to tell you about the projects. The project can be anything you like, it just have to be science-related, work on it today and over the weekend, now, I’m giving you the whole lesson to discuss it with your partner,” Ms. Johansson said, the student moaned.
“And the winner could go to America,” she said again.
I yawn as I listened to her.
“Ashlee! Hi! What are we going to do?” asked James.
“I don’t know about we, but I’m going to do nothing…” I said.
“Come on, why are you being so hard on me?” he asked me.
“Why do you always want to know?” I asked him.
“Please, I want to win this... Please, I want this, before… “
“Before I sleep, okay science boy, I’ll work too, just don’t think we’re friends or whatever, okay?” I said, felt sorry for him.
“Okay!” he said, “What about the stars, we can do something about it!” he said cheerfully.
“Whatever just make it simple,” I said.
“Why don’t we go and make it in the library, on Saturday morning?” he said.
“Yeah, now can I go to sleep?” I asked.
“Yeah, you could,” he said, satisfied with the deal he got away with.
It’s three AM, I was chatting with Matt.
Matt_182 says:
Ash, what are you doing?
Ashlee_Me says:
Well, chatting with you, for sure.
Matt_182 says:
I had just finished chatting with Sam. She said something about James?
Ashlee_Me says:
Sam? Samantha? She told you? Well, yeah he’s a pain in the butt
Matt_182 says:
I keep on thinking of you. I don’t have any mates in here
Ashlee_Me says:
I think of you too. Matt, I need to go to sleep. Tomorrow I am going to meet James for a science thing. See U! Miss You!! ?
Matt_182 says:
Miss you too! See you tomorrow!
Yeah, see you tomorrow, I thought as I go to sleep.
It’s Saturday morning, it’s raining outside. I’m still sleepy, until my mum knocked on the door.
“Ashlee! Your friend is here!” she said.
Friend? What friend? I opened the door, finding a really wet James.
“You said you’re going to come!” James said, shivering, he was cold.
“I’m sorry. I was up until three AM,” I said, looking at my clock, it was nine. The rain made it look like it’s only five.
“What the hell were you doing until three AM?” he asked.
I was stunned hearing him say hell, “I couldn’t go to sleep,” I don’t know why I didn’t say the truth. I lied, for no reason.
“And you left me in the rain? Can’t you just think about my feelings?” he said, still shivering.
“I’m sorry. Do you want this?” I said, handing him my blanket.
“No! You know what? This is a big deal for me! Fuck you!” he said, walking out of my room and slammed my door.
I sat down on my bed. Better go back to sleep and deal with it later.
When I woke up it was not a good day. I fell so bad letting James down.
“James? Are you there? It’s Ashlee,” I said down the phone.
“This is James. Still angry, almost dry,” he said with a cold tone.
“I’m sorry. I’ll come by to your house in 5 minutes. We’ll work on it,” I said.
“Ok,” he said, still with a cold voice.
I got to James’s house just in a couple of minutes, since his house is not that far from mine.
“Hi! James… I’m really sorry for everything. Look, I was able to sleep last night. I was chatting with Matt, he’s really important to me,” I said, as he opened the door.
“That’s fine. Let’s just work right now,” he said.
Time has passed for quite a while now.
“So, you really like to see stars at night, huh?” I asked him, as we worked on the project. We decided that the stars would be good for the project.
“Yeah. It’s nice to see thousands of lights,” he said as he writes some stuff on the paper.
I scanned James’s room. It’s pretty neat. A family photo is on the table. There is a guitar on the bed. James plays guitar?
“Do you play guitar?” I asked him, putting away the project for a while.
“Yeah I do,” he said.
“Interested in playing some songs for me?” I asked him, I was self-shocked when I realized that I was being nice to him.
“I’m waiting
For a perfect time to call you back
And as I remember
Saying, I don’t want to know the truth
Can’t handle that…” he began to sing.
I was stunned. I didn’t think he could sing, I didn’t think that he could write such amazing lyrics.
“Where’s the world that doesn’t care
Maybe I could meet you there
Maybe I should meet you there,” as he ended the song.
“I never thought you could sing,” I said. “Can I see the lyrics?” I asked, reaching for the lyrics.
“No! It’s bad. A lot of scribbles. Sorry, not now. Later, maybe,” he said, blushing.
“Hey James, I’m sorry. I’m the one who put the gooey stuff in your locker,” I said.
”It’s ok. I love that gooey stuff. Isn’t it melted chocolate,” he asked.
“Melted coffee and chocolate, it is, sorry again,” I said, glad he wasn’t angry.
“You know, I think that you are a really nice girl,” he said.
“Well, thank you.” I said, I wasn’t expecting that.
We kept on working for the next two hours, I never realized there’s so much more to him.
“You know Matt?” I asked him, I wanted to know what James thinks of Matt.
“Yeah, I do. He’s a big fan of alternative stuff. Isn’t he?” he said, still working
“Yeah, he is. Do you think he’s nice?” I asked him.
“He’s nice. You like him, don’t you?” He asked, putting away the project.
“Yeah, I mean, he’s nice, he’s great at anything he does,” I said, I can’t believe I told him everything.
“I know,” he said, looking kind of bored.
“I’m sorry if I make you feel bored, I’m kind of obsessed,” I said.
“That’s alright,” he said, walking to his desk and accidentally slipped. His lips pressed mine. I feel my cheeks getting red. I pushed him away from me.
“What the f*** do you think you were doing?” I asked, I ran through his door, slamming it real hard.
That day I didn’t do anything. I was being a bitch, I think. I was really angry at James. I kept on being one until it was Monday. There were only silence in science class. At the end of the day, James followed me.
“Ashlee! Wait for me!” he shouted behind me.
“No! Why should I?” I said, running the stairs.
“Because I need you to see…” he said.
His words are not finished. I look behind. I saw James, his head was bleeding, he fell over the stairs.
“James! Are you alright?” I asked him.
“Well, I am, even if the one who asked me, hates me,” he said, smiling.
“Come on, we need to go to the nurse,” I said, picking him up.
“No, it won’t be that easy,” he said “I have Haemophilia, I won’t stop bleeding. My parents can’t pay too much money for all the hospital treatment,” he said
“No, I can’t,” my eyes started to filled up with tears. “You can’t die, what’ll your family do?” I said.
“They’ll be fine. I love you. I never said that. Matt knows it. He helped me coping with the fact that you like Matt, and not me,” he said, still smiling.
“Why are you smiling? This is not the time. Forget about Matt, you’re going to die, I don’t want that,” I said, I cried even more “Where’s the world that doesn’t care, maybe I could meet you there” I sang the last line of his song. I still remember it.
“Maybe I should meet you there,” he said, finally.
“Don’t! Don’t leave me! I’m sorry,” I said, hoping he could hear me.
He didn’t say anything.
I held his hand, he was holding something. I opened his hand to see a little piece of paper. Written on it, “I love you, Ashlee. I just didn’t have time to tell you. I hope you understand. I don’t have a lot of time. Because I don’t really want to live. I have haemophilia, and my parents can’t pay my treatment, every time I practice my guitar too much and my fingers bleed, or every time I was kicked by a bully. So… After this, I think you won’t be seeing me anymore. I wanted to die in someone’s arms, someone that I love. And I hope that someone is you. Where’s the world that doesn’t care, maybe I could meet you there…”