Chapter5
-A Heart of Ice And A Smile
Again,
I had caught a glimpse of her smile as she was wiping a table.But
when she saw me looking at her, she stomped away while hugging a tray.
“Shampoo…”
I frowned.I continued to go back
to the kitchen after her.We both
took off our aprons.Shampoo then
said goodnight to her grandmother and proceeded to leave the Nekohanten.
I
walked right in back of her.She
walked away from me silently, and paid no more attention to me.
That
icy stare…
I
was such an expert on it.
I
sighed.Geez, I could feel my heart
just crunching inside of me.As a
man, I should have some pride, shouldn’t I?But…But…Shampoo…I
let her take it all away.
I
came to take her back to China.I
failed.I came to defeat Ranma so
that she would be my bride, I failed once more.I
challenged her when she was three so that it was certain that I would marry
her, I had failed then too…
As
I looked at Shampoo and thought about the past, I saw a distant star that
could never be touched.And it hurt
me deeply.I wasn’t ever worthy of
her affection in the first place, but was that any reason to give her up?No.
She
deserved so much better than this.I
treated her like she was the world.Well,
she was my own.
Always
have, always will be.
I
wiped a tear that had emerged.I
have turned into such a crybaby because I knew she didn’t have to be here.She
had me, but because of that law that kept us apart and kept her bound to
Ranma, I couldn’t do anything.She
always had me, though…
Though
she stepped on me like dirt, I didn’t have anything in the first place
anyway.I was nothing if I couldn’t
have her.
Nothing.
My
existence, I had rationalized, was to make her happy.Even
if it was shunned and never appreciated, even if I was given insults, even
if she really did hate me with every fiber of her being, I would never
give up on her.
Again,
she slammed the door on my face.I
opened the door and let myself in.We
both went upstairs to our rooms.
I
smiled, “Good night, Shampoo.”
“Hmph.”She
entered her room and proceeded to go downstairs to take a shower.
The
smile had faded as soon as I went inside my own room.
“How
could I let myself become so used to this kind of treatment?” I asked myself
as I changed my clothes and took off the multitude of weapons hidden in
my wardrobe.“Doesn’t matter.”
Again,
I found myself smiling when I slipped under the covers.“Once
again, I am able to sleep in the same house as my beloved, Shampoo.That’s
all that counts.”
“And
where are you going, Mousse?” my mother harshly questioned.
“I
am going to defeat the one named Ranma Saotome and take Shampoo back as
my bride.”I was stepping out of
my house.
She
slapped me across the face.My mother
was an Amazon woman.And like the
rest of them, she had a pride that could never be brought down.It
meant death if it was done, which was why the ‘Kiss of Death’ was created
in the first place.
So
it was no surprise to me that she left yet another red mark on my face
at the mention of the name of Shampoo…
“You
have brought me great shame, Mousse.”Her
eyes were filled with anger and some sympathy.“There
are so many other girls in this village!Why
can’t you defeat one and then marry her instead?!”
I
gave the same explanation I had given since the age of three.“I
love her, Mother.Do we have to
go over this again?”
“You
were defeated when you were three!” she shouted at me.“Don’t
you understand that?It’s the law!”
I
shook my head.“Disown me if you
like.It doesn’t matter much to me
now.”
My
mother began to cry.She knew she
was defeated.And I began to cry
myself.What had I become?But
I couldn’t and I wouldn’t change my decision.
She
hugged me and shook her head.“I
don’t, I don’t want you to be unhappy…”
Then,
she gently pushed me away.
She
gave me the ‘Kiss of Death’.
“Go,
Mousse,” she sadly commanded.
As
I walked away into the night, I knew I would never be able to return to
my village again.I had just been
disowned and exiled.
Shampoo
had been exiled to Japan.It meant
that she could never come back here.If
she did, she would become a second-class citizen.And
I didn’t want that to see that.I
couldn’t bear it…
I
didn’t care anymore what happened to me.I
just knew that I couldn’t live without being close to her…
I
couldn’t stand just wondering there what she was doing; I couldn’t stand
not being able to see her; I couldn’t stand not living without a smile
or even that icy stare.
When
I woke up, I had tears all over my face.What
a pathetic person I had become.But
I had chosen it for her and for myself.
I
got up slowly from my bed.“She didn’t
need to know any of my sacrifices for her,” I whispered to myself.“That
was selfish.”
Even
if it was just this, I was happy.
When
I passed her down the hall, she grumpily said, “Good morning, Mousse.”
I
smiled, “Good morning, my beautiful Shampoo.”
Little
by little, I knew I was tearing down her defenses towards me.Her
heart of ice was slowing melting.But
it had taken such a long time.I
knew all along it would have.
Nonetheless,
I didn’t care.I had all the time
in the world, as long as I could see her face.As
long as I could be with her…
“Mousse,
you too slow,” she insulted; but then she waited some feet for me to catch
up somewhat to her on the street.
I
smiled at her.“I’m coming!”
But
somehow, deep down inside, I was glad she had defeated me when we were
children.I wanted… what I wanted
most from Shampoo was herself.That’s
all I was waiting for.
I
wanted her to love me the way I had come to love her: pure and unconditional
and…
…not
by some stupid law we had grown up with…
…but
of her own free will.
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Author’s notes:I
can’t say anything more but that I’ve come to love Mousse more and more
because of this…* sniff, sniff *Enough
said, ne?
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