Kimmy's Hitlist
| Oct 27, 2002 | It's a Hit! | It's Shit! |
| New TV Season: L.A. Crime Dramas | Boomtown. This wonderful show uses non-linear storytelling (like in Pulp Fiction) to tell a story from many points of view, and show both the aftermath and the events that lead up to it. Instead of just showing a crime and solving it, they show you the human side of it. A good ensemble cast as well. Last week's episode was maybe the best single television show I've ever seen. | Fastlane. Ugh. Miami Vice 2k2. A 49 minute music video. Whatever. It's horseshit. |
| New TV Season: Jerry Bruckheimer Crime Dramas | Without A Trace. A group of expert investigators tries to find missing persons before it's too late. As the investigators find new pieces of evidence, we see flashbacks that reconstruct the disappearance. We haven't really learned much about the characters yet, but the stars of the show are actually the missing people. Each show is a character study of their disappearance victim. | CSI: Miami. Based on its ratings, it belongs in the Hit column, but by comparison to the original CSI, it's Shit. If there was no CSI, then CSI: Miami wouldn't be that bad, but as it stands, it's a weak copy. David Caruso plays "Horatio Cain", probably the most absurdly named TV character since Homer Simpson changed his name to Max Power for an episode. He is cool and detached in a way that makes you want to smack him. He is the kind of man who wears his sunglasses indoors. Kim Delaney wanders around in striped bell-bottoms and polyester tops looking like she raided Austin Powers' closet. Emily Proctor, as the ballistics expert, wanders around in so much makeup that she looks like she's moonlighting with the vice squad. |
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New TV Season: Sitcoms |
Well, sitcoms are inherently shitty, and almost all belong in the other column. I haven't been watching any of them... | ...but I did catch an episode of 8 Simple Rules... I will quickly break it down: John Ritter: befuddled dad. Katey Segal: wise mom. Blond daughter: superficial, self-centered, conniving, dumb. Red-head daughter: smart, sensitive, shy, independant. Formula: mom has to go out and leaves him with the kids. He has wacky misadventures, but luckily gets things sorted out before the missus gets home. The blond girl learns an important lesson about being considerate of others. The redhead girl gets the reassurance she needs to become the Very Special Person we all know she is. Dad learns a lesson about parenting. Mom returns with 30 seconds left in the show, and all is well. That is the plot for every single episode for the next 5 seasons. |
| July 23, 2002 | It's a Hit! | It's Shit! |
| TV |
Farscape is a neat TV show! I love the cast (especially Ben Browder and Claudia Black) and the premise. The Chris Isaak Show. Is a guy who would produce a fictional TV show about himself an egomaniac or something? I dunno. But Chris Isaak's goofy charm makes it easy to forgive him. Lovable cast and interesting stories. Scrubs. Lots of sit-coms can make you laugh... Scrubs is the only one I can think of that can also touch you in a deeper way.. |
Starhunter. Carrying on a tradition of crappy British sci-fi that is older than I am. Black Scorpion. It's intended to be so bad that it's entertaining. Instead, it's so bad that it's unwatchable. WWE wrestling television. For a while they made wrestling popular. But like a cheesy sitcom, their shtick has gone stale. |
| Athletes | The many athletes who believe that sports heroes should give something back to the communities that make them rich and famous. | Allan Iverson and dozens of other sports-felons who think that being a star means you can get away with whatever you feel like. Unfortunately, it seems like they can. I hope one of these days, one of these punks gets made an example of. |
| Music | uh, I dunno. | It's all so bland right now. |
| Political Organizations |
the Rhinoceros Party of Canada. It's ON NOW, bitch! |
Al Qaeda, Hamas, the Liberal Party of Canada, the former Taliban government of Afghanistan. They should all be destroyed to the last man. |
| Political Figures | Pope John Paul II. More than just a religious figurehead, he has been a positive influence on world affairs during my lifetime. Now his time is coming to a close. | ugh. Too many to list. |
| March 7, 2002 | It's a Hit! | It's Shit! |
| TV | The Tick got cancelled? | ...and South Park is still on the air? |
| Illnesses | none that I can think of. | the flu :-( |
| People |
My little brother Ed, who made soup for me today :-) |
Hulk Hogan Mariah Carey J-Lo |
| 2001 Stuff I Forgot |
"Outside" by Staind (especially the live version, which is particularly haunting- except for Fred Durst's shenanigans.) Planet of the Apes was pretty good. So was Rush Hour 2. |
Kiss of the Dragon, starring Jet Li. Jet Li has the charisma of cold leftover egg fu yong. Mimes |
| February, 2002 | It's a Hit! | It's Shit! |
| Movies | The Mothman Prophecies was pretty good. | I dunno. I haven't seen many movies lately. |
| Music |
"In The Middle" by Jimmy Eat World is a great, cheerful tune! "Youth of the Nation" by P.O.D. ...Christian rock that doesn't suck? What? "Holiday" by The Watchmen. Great vocal on this song, and a great sound. "Superman" by Five For Fighting. Soft piano and Counting Crows- sound-alike vocal works for me. Hockey-related name earns extra points! |
"Hey Mister", by Custom. It's about a guy calling a dad to brag about screwing his daughter. It concludes with the guy saying "I hope I never have a daughter" over and over. If I ever meet Mr. Custom in person, I will help with that. I would do this by driving my knee into his groin enough times that having a daughter, or any other offspring, would be a biological impossibility. I have heard that it has an equally sexist video. And apparently that's all you need to get your 15 minutes of fame. Enjoy it while it lasts, buddy. |
| TV |
Survivor Marquesas is off to a promising start! Great location and fun cast. |
Temptation Island 2 went out with a whimper, in a lame finale fitting the overall quality of the show. |
| 2001 in Review | It's a Hit! | It's Shit! |
| Movies |
Lord of the Rings. Truly an amazing film! By far my favorite of 2001. The Fast And The Furious, thanks to Vin Diesel! mmmm, Vin!
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Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within. It was beautiful to look at, but insanely boring. Vanilla Sky. A neat idea that turned into a train-wreck of a film. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. A shitty movie, but still great and full of fun. Contradictory? Not really. Sometimes movies, like Pizza, are at their best when they're at their worst. |
| Music |
"Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down. A catchy song wrapped around a great guitar hook! Everything by The Dandy Warhols! I'd never heard of them until last summer, but loved everything I heard. If I had to pick a favorite song right now, it would probably be "Godless", by the Dandy Warhols. |
"Drops of Jupiter" by Train. Of all the songs I got sick of hearing in 2001, this one got me sickest. "Wish You Were Here" by Incubus. Another song I got sick of hearing, featuring possibly the worst rock lyric ever: "The sky resembles a back-lit canopy with holes punched in it." |
| TV |
Alias is the best show of the new season. Despite the silly premise (pretty girl is grad-student and CIA agent) the show's frantic fast pace makes it exciting to watch! Enterprise. After the tragedy that was Voyager, I didn't even want to see another Star Trek series, but they have done a great job. They have found a great cast, a great visual look, and so far, good stories. I like it a lot! Survivor Africa wasn't the TV event that the earlier runs were, but it's still a fun show. I like the different personalities. |
Temptation Island 2. I watched this religiously. I don't know why. It's crap. It's almost comically bad. Host Mark L Wahlberg (no, not THAT Mark Wahlberg) tries (and fails) to be all Jeff Probst, and instead comes off looking all ... uh, what's the name of the guy who used to host the Dating Game? The real fun of this show (aside from watching sexy people in swimwear) is in watching them pretend that they're conducting some kind of sociological expose. Truthfully, they've got nothing to offer- except the faint possibility that some of these skanks and playahs are going to have sex. |