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It all feels like a dream. Like that one where you can�t reach your goal and your hope is fading fast, and you want to scream, but everything comes out as a little whimper. You can�t help but feel that everything you have ever done is worthless, knowing that someone has done it better, fast, or smart, and they are going to rub that in your face. Sometimes it�s all just a bit too much, and all I want to do is cry, and I do. The tears flow, the ideas stop, and I am a zombie. Completely consumed by this idea that I have something to live up to, something that is new and better and smart. But that leads us right back to where we started, and in that case, why even try. If I try, then that forces someone else to try that much harder� At some point, we a re all going to be out of might, and we will collapse. What we started with was a dream, an idea that was great. And we think about it, constantly, about how it will be the talk of the town, of a nation, and we build� everything we do, stems from this dream. This heightened sense of being, a feeling that we are better, and we have this idea to prove it. Our lives seem so good, floating on this dream, blind to the reality that the guy, the girl, that child over there, they all have this same dream� we are so self destructive when we realize that we are not unique, when we realize that we�re not thinking freely. When we see that everything we�ve ever done, well, someone has done it before us, and they did it better, and the guy after you, did it better to. Your dream, what is it really worth, your time, your effort? Is that it? Can you live upon your dream and suffer for it, sure, but what do you get� you end up being one of those people who stands along the sides of the road, hitching a ride, thinking cars are the evil of this world, and damnit, I�m not going to give in, not me not now. Soon you�re reliant upon the whims of others. You�re not free, you�re not unique, and you�re no longer creative. If all of these ideals are lost with simple motions of other, then how is it that we are paying people in Hollywood millions to be these things? Aren�t we the same as them� getting up on a stage, being something we�re not, and getting judged every minute of it? What is so special about that? |
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