"FEMINISM IS THE RADICAL NOTION WOMEN ARE PEOPLE" or
"IMITATION IS THE HIGHEST FORM OF FLATTERY"
[Descending crane shot from the corner of third avenue and pine street south, to the back of a woman's black coat, flash title on coat, camera pans forward [as strange as that sounds] at half the rate of the subject, WALT's first line appears off camera]
WALT: Did you know the original title was supposed to be 'The Mysterious Yearning Secretive Sad Lonely Troubled Confused Loving Musical Gifted Intelligent Beautiful Tender Sensitive Haunted Passionate Talented Mr. Ripley'?
[Camera reaches WALT & JOE, reversing direction on the dolly to move back with them]
JOE: How did you remember all that?
WALT: I might've practiced a little before we left.
JOE: So what did you do last night?
[steady cam reverse tracking shot on JOE & WALT]
WALT: Listened to Greg talk about how Francis Ford Coppola snorted seventies cinema up his nose. Then he debated the important directors of our time.
JOE: Any women?
WALT: Well, there was uh, what's her name again?
JOE: Mary Harron? Allison Anders? Kimberly Pierce?
WALT: Yeah, all those [JOE stares] Come on, there's not that many female directors, you probably just named all of them right there.
JOE: You don't think there's any gender bias involved?
WALT: Maybe in Hollywood, but I'm not like that.
JOE: Name one female director.
WALT: [pause] You're turning this into a feminist issue.
JOE: That's because it is a feminist issue.
WALT: Well now I have to be all politically correct.
JOE: No you don't, we're talking about sexism, not semantics.
WALT: [stares] I'm not sexist.
JOE: Sure you are, everybody's sexist, I'm sexist.
WALT: Penny Marshall.
JOE: That's very good Walt.
WALT: Great, now you're patronizing me.
JOE: Are you this uptight with other women?
WALT: I do okay with women.
[cut to steady cam reverse tracking shot on GREG <2nd Camera>, <1st Camera ducks away>]
JOE: Really?
WALT: I haven't had a girlfriend in a while, but I've still gone on a few dates.
JOE: When?
WALT: Well, if you define a date by spending time with a woman, technically, we're on a date right now. I know we're not on a date, I was just saying, that's just some people's definition of a date.
JOE: Excluding the times when you were merely in the presence of a woman, when was your last date?
WALT: I'm re-grouping, my last break-up was kinda messy.
JOE: Who was the last woman you went out with?
WALT: Claire.
JOE: Claire?
WALT: She worked at the video store.
JOE: I didn't know you went out with her.
WALT: Well it wasn't anything serious, but it was still an emotional break-up. We only went out a couple times.
[JOE & WALT turn corner, <2nd Camera> picks them up, GREG is behind them]
GREG: Squeal like a pig boy!
WALT: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! Don't sneak up on me like that.
GREG: It's good to see the pot's not making you paranoid.
WALT: You sneaked up on me, of course I'm gonna be scared, you could've been a mugger, or a psycho-killer.
GREG: In Timmins?
WALT: It doesn't matter where you are, you can still be the victim of a per capita crime.
GREG: That's kinda the whole point of saying per capita.
JOE: I thought you had to work today.
GREG: I got off early.
JOE: You should've came to 'Ripley'.
GREG: "Jude Law, in his straightest performance yet."
JOE: I like Jude Law. [Camera moves away from them]
WALT: Oh Joe, you like everybody.
SCENE TWO 'LOUNGE ACT'
"THE FINE LINE BETWEEN COWARDICE AND COOL" or
"IF GOD WANTED US TO BE OUTSIDE ALL THE TIME, WHY DID HE MAKE US SO LAZY?"
[JOE, GREG & WALT at the Welcome Tavern]
JOE: Don't all films start to look the same?
WALT: We don't watch that many.
JOE: So the two of you didn't watch five movies on Sunday?
WALT: It's Sunday, what else are we gonna do?
JOE: It's summer, you could go outside, and actually do something.
GREG: What did you do on Sunday.
JOE: I went for a walk.
GREG: Wow, we should've thought of that, we could've went for a walk on Sunday too.
WALT: Ooh, the park's nice this time of year.
GREG: We could play on the swings.
WALT: And have ice cream and pie, yay!
JOE: If you two vampires wanna watch movies 24 hours a day, I'm gonna stop you, I just think there's better things to do with your time.
GREG: In Timmins?
JOE: Yes.
WALT: Timmins, Ontario?
JOE: You could watch some live music, support local talent.
GREG: What talent?
JOE: See, that's why no one comes to see me play.
WALT: I watch you play all the time. And by the way, I don't appreciate being called a vampire, I have very fair skin and my eyes are extremely sensitive to light.
GREG: Yeah, that's really insensitive, making fun of the fact Walt's an albino.
WALT: I'm not a fucking albino, you have an unfair advantage.
GREG: Why don't you tell me all about how my skin color gives me an unfair advantage in the world.
WALT: Oh yeah, like the women around here never come on to you.
GREG: Yeah, and guys wanna beat the shit outta me.
WALT: That's because you're a sarcastic bastard.
JOE: Do you guys want another beer?
GREG: Fuck.
WALT: Okay, but be gentle. [looks over] Oh, are you referring to your ex-girlfriend over there? I didn't know she worked here.
GREG: Either did I, or we wouldn't have came here.
JOE: I knew she worked here, what's the big deal?
GREG: Do you know how uncomfortable this is gonna be?
JOE: I'm sure she's over it by now.
GREG: I don't think so.
JOE: She didn't take it very well?
GREG: We left some things unresolved.
WALT: And by unresolved he means he just stopped calling her without officially breaking up with her.
JOE: [You bastard, you asshole, you buttlicking cockmaster!]
LISA: Hi.
WALT: Hey Lisa, how's it goin'?
LISA: All right, and you?
WALT: Good, I'm good.
LISA: Hi Greg.
GREG: Hey, long time no see.
LISA: You lose my number?
GREG: No, I just got really, busy with the movie, and work, I was gonna give you a ring.
WALT: So you still ride horses?
LISA: Yeah, I give lessons too.
WALT: That's cool, I remember when you took us out, and Greg discovered he was allergic to horses, and his face got all red and swollen, that was so funny. You remember Joe, right?
JOE: Hi.
LISA: Hi.
WALT: Yeah, out of all of Greg's girlfriends, you were by far the nicest.
LISA: Thanks. Can I get you guys anything else?
GREG: No, we have to get going.
WALT: Yeah, Greg has an doctor's appointment.
LISA: All right, take care, it was nice seeing you.
JOE: It was nice seeing you too. [exit Lisa]
GREG: What the fuck was that?
WALT: What?
GREG: "Out of all of Greg's girlfriends, I like you the most"
WALT: Oh, maybe I should have stayed completely silent like you and make things even more uncomfortable.
GREG: You didn't have to lay it on that thick.
WALT: You could've stepped in anytime, and besides I meant it, she is nice, you're an idiot for breaking up with her, or should I say for not really breaking up with her.
GREG: She has problems, I don't wanna get into it. Come on, let's get outta here.
SCENE THREE "INDEPENDENCE"
"JAPANESE WARRIOR CULTURE PLUS ANYTHING EQUALS SUCCESS" or
"JOHN WATERS IS MORE INTERESTING WHEN HE'S SMEARING SHIT ON PEOPLE"
[Walt & Greg on the patio].
WALT: So, does Joe ever talk about me, you know, when I'm not around.
GREG: How paranoid are you?
WALT: I don't mean bad things, I mean, does she ever talk about me?
GREG: I have no idea what you're talking about.
WALT: Has she ever said anything that would lead you to believe she's at all interested in me?
GREG: Joe? Our Joe?
WALT: Yeah, Joe.
GREG: The same Joe we've been platonic friends with for twenty years?
WALT: You know who I'm talking about.
GREG: The one, who if she was any further in the closet she'd be in the next room?
WALT: Are you finished?
GREG: You have a thing for Joe?
WALT: I didn't say that, I just asked if you thought, you know, that she might be interested in me. That she might've mentioned it.
GREG: Let me think, NO.
WALT: It was just a question.
GREG: You want a beer?
WALT: Where do you find this stuff?
GREG: It's Belgian.
WALT: Would it kill you to buy some normal beer?
GREG: Normal as in tasteless and bland?
WALT: No, normal as in something that isn't black with brown foam.
GREG: You could always buy some beer.
WALT: And you could always buy some pot. Do I ever take out a bag of purple weed and tell you how uncultured you are when it makes you cough up a lung.
GREG: This beer is three dollars a bottle.
WALT: I could've poured some peroxide in a glass of root beer and saved you the trouble.
GREG: Don't drink it then.
WALT: It's already open.
GREG: You wanna go see 'Eight and a Half' tomorrow?
WALT: I got nothing else to do.
GREG: If you don't wanna go, just say so.
WALT: I just did, and then I said I'd go anyway.
GREG: Who went to see all three 'Star Wars' movies with you?
WALT: You're a wonderful person, there's no disputing that.
GREG: I don't want you coming if it's only outta pity.
WALT: Please, let me come with you, I love Fellini, I love to read a movie instead of actually understanding what the characters are saying.
GREG: So I guess he should've filmed it in Italian and English.
WALT: If he wanted me to see it, yeah.
GREG: I'm sure Felini gives a shit what you think.
WALT: He's dead, he doesn't give a shit what anybody thinks.
GREG: Let's go get a movie?
WALT: I already rented a movie.
GREG: No, I mean a real movie.
[Cut to Walt & Greg walking].
GREG: Jim Jarmusch.
WALT: Who?
GREG: Jesus Christ Walt.
WALT: Like Jim Jarmusch is a household name?
GREG: No, of course not. That's why he's the best indie director of all time.
WALT: Fine, if I can't pick Kevin Smith, I guess, it's, John Waters. [pause] What?
GREG: You know John Waters and not Jim Jarmusch?
WALT: What's wrong with John Waters?
GREG: Nothing, but how do you know 'Pink Flamingo's' and not 'Stranger Than Paradise'?
WALT: What's 'Pink Flamingo's'?
GREG: You picked John Waters without seeing 'Pink Flamingo's'?
WALT: I liked 'Pecker'.
GREG: His most commercial film.
WALT: I didn't know that when I watched it.
GREG: John Waters is way more interesting when he's smearing shit all over people.
WALT: To you maybe.
GREG: To lots of people, that's what independent film should be about.
WALT: Smearing shit on people?
GREG: Metaphorically, yes.
WALT: Just because somebody like Garmoosh ...
GREG: Jarmusch.
WALT: Whatever, filming people doing nothing isn't genius.
GREG: And grown men cockfighting with glow-sticks is?
WALT: You do this every time you're losing an argument, George Lucas has nothing to do with this.
GREG: He's the father of the blockbuster.
WALT: He is not, 'Star Wars' was practically independent.
GREG: 'Star Wars': The little indie movie that could.
WALT: He had trouble getting the funding, and it's a pretty original idea.
GREG: It's a total rip off of Kirosawa's 'Hidden Fortress.'
WALT: What's the 'Hidden Fortress'?
GREG: The movie Lucas aped to make 'Star Wars'.
WALT: Are there Jedi's?
GREG: No, It's about Japanese Warrior culture.
WALT: Do they have light sabers?
GREG: They're samurai's, they use swords.
WALT: It's not the same thing then.
GREG: I can't believe your defending 'Star Wars' as an indie movie.
WALT: I didn't say that, I said it was 'practically' indie.
[cut to GREG & WALT entering the movie rental establishment]
WALT: This is ridiculous. I already got us a movie.
GREG: I'm not watching a frozen dinosaur movie.
WALT: The dinosaur's aren't frozen, it's their DNA.
GREG: [WALT picks up a movie] No, that looks retarded.
WALT: Look at these reviews 'Flashy and Bold', 'Young likable cast', this looks pretty good.
GREG: Jesus, are you incontinent?
WALT: Why do you have to use that word so loosely?
GREG: Incontinent?
WALT: Jesus.
GREG: What's your problem with Jesus. He's the son of God.
WALT: I don't have a problem with Jesus, that's why I don't appreciate the way you refer to 'Em. [picks up another movie] We have a winner.
GREG: You lost the best, no more Ben Stiller. We've been through this already.
WALT: That was only for a year.
GREG: Two years, pick something else.
WALT: This is Ed Norton.
GREG: Yeah, across from a man whose range extends from clown to oaf.
WALT: That's a stupid reason not to rent a movie.
GREG: Bad acting is an excellent reason not to rent a movie.
WALT: Okay we'll compromise; we'll get one of the arty Spielberg movies.
GREG: No, I'll have too much trouble following the intricacies or the plot.
WALT:There's nothing wrong with his films, you're just biased.
GREG: He's like everyone else you like, George Lucas is your inner child, Kevin Smith is your inner loser and Steven Spielberg is your inner white liberal.
WALT: Spielberg isn't even a white liberal ...he's Jewish!
GREG: Jewish people can still be white liberals.
WALT: Well not Spielberg.
GREG: Well meaning, yet racist depiction's of minorities and women, that's the calling card of the white liberal.
WALT: [holds up another DVD] 'The Negotiator'?
GREG: 'Two people are dead, everything has changed'
WALT: You're just trying to wear me down until I tell you get to pick, well you're testing the wrong will, all right, I'm gonna find a movie I wanna watch.
GREG: Hey look, they've got 'The 400 Blows' on DVD, didn't you say you wanted to see that?
WALT: Oh yeah, right after my testicle removal surgery.
GREG: This is probably the best cinematography in the history of cinema.
WALT: Oh really? Well, why didn't you say so before? You know what a cinematology nut I am. Let's rent two copies. Hey this looks good, have you seen this?
GREG: [stares]
WALT: What's wrong with this one?
GREG: Nothing, that's 'The City of Lost Children', I was telling you about that movie last week.
WALT: I don't remember. Looks good though, kinda like 'Brazil'.
GREG: When did you see 'Brazil'?
WALT: I don't know, ten years ago.
GREG: How did you know about it?
WALT: It's Terry Gilliam's best movie. Do you think I live under a rock?
GREG: You know who that is?
WALT: Yeah, the guy from Monty Python, I hate to disappoint you, but I'm not retarded.
GREG: Are we gonna rent that?
WALT: Sure.
GREG: It's in French.
WALT: There's sub-titles right?
GREG: Yeah.
WALT: Well this may come as a surprise to you, but I can read, so we should be fine.
SCENE FOUR "MOTHER"
"THE MEANSTREETS OF TIMMINS" or
"OEDIPUS AS A HERO"
[JOE is on the phone with her mother]
JOE: My job is not dangerous.
MOM: It's plenty ...
JOE: It's not dangerous.
MOM: You always work at night ...
JOE: I know I at work at night, lot's of people work at night.
MOM: It's not safe for a woman to be alone on the streets at night.
JOE: I live in Timmins mom, not Compton.
MOM: You don't have to live someplace dangerous to have something bad happen to you, just the other day I heard about this ...
JOE:I get picked up in the evening and dropped off at night,
MOM: It's that sense of comfort that'll get you.
JOE: You're not being rational.
MOM: You're gonna end up alone.
JOE: [irritated] What do you mean, end up alone? We'll all end alone, nobody dies as a couple.
MOM: Oh you're nihilist now?
JOE: I'm not nihilist, I can't believe you called me nihilist.
MOTHER: You still like boys don't you?
JOE: No, I'm a nazi nihilist lesbian.
MOM: That's very funny.
JOE: I told you, I'm bisexual.
MOM: Bisexual? Don't tell me these things honey
JOE: Why don't you want me to tell you these things? You might me to lie to you?
MOM: It came from outta nowhere.
JOE: It did not, I've been trying to tell you I'm bisexual for years, you just don't listen.
MOM: I'm listening to you, who says I'm not listening to you?
JOE: No...No... No you say you're listening, but you're just waiting to talk.
MOM: What does that mean, waiting to talk?, I listen to you <sobbing> really, I listen to you.
JOE: [Pause] Crying isn't gonna work Mom.
MOM: I'm not trying to make it ...
JOE: No, I'm not getting let you manipulate me.
MOM: [still sobbing] You know I love you honey.
JOE: Yes of *course* I love you, my love isn't in question, it's your listening skills.
MOM: Oh and you listen to me, you can't wait to get off the phone can you, away from your horrible mother.
JOE: I don't refer to you as my horrible mother, I call you twice a week ...
MOM: What's a matter girl, that's a good girl [pause] that's a good girl.
JOE: Are you talking to Muffin?
MOM: You're mommy's little favorite aren't you? yes you are, yes you are...
JOE: Jesus Christ you're talking to the dog instead of listening to me. (Pause)
MOM: Why are you swearing at me?
JOE: I didn't [pause]I gotta go ...
MOM: Why?
JOE: Greg's here ...
MOM: What about Greg?
JOE: What about Greg?
MOM: Is there a spark?
JOE: Yes, I love him, I want to marry him and have his babies, lots and lots of babies. [hear mother in the background] Bye Mom, I'll talk to next week, no I gotta go, I love you too, okay, goodbye.
SCENE FIVE "HOMOEROTIC"
"JUST BECAUSE I CAN'T RELATE TO WOMEN, OR EVEN TALK TO THEM, IT DOESN'T MAKE ME GAY" or
"FUNNY AND SMART EQUALS UGLY"
[JOE & GREG at AJ's]
JOE: Is there a guy you think he's interested in?
GREG: No, he probably doesn't even know it yet.
JOE: Who cares?
GREG: Do you want him to live in denial for the rest of his life?
JOE: If he's gay, he's gay, he'll get around to telling people when he's ready, you can't push him out of the closet.
WALT: Who are you guys talkin' about?
GREG: My brother, why?
WALT: No reason [sits down].
GREG: Did you think we were talking about you?
WALT: No.
GREG: It makes a lot of sense though, no girlfriend, lives at home, enjoys strictly male dominated hobbies -
WALT: I'm not gay.
GREG: Soft, caring disposition.
WALT: I'm not gay.
JOE: No self-respecting gay man would be caught dead wearing that shirt.
GREG: Who said anything about self respecting?
WALT: This is my favorite shirt.
JOE: Some of your fashion statements are a little,
GREG: Garish.
JOE: Ill conceived.
WALT: I didn't realize I was out with the fashion police
GREG: If we were the fashion police we'd have dragged you outside and beaten you by now.
WALT: This shirt is my style.
JOE: I was saying that's part of the problem.
WALT: Thank you for the advice, but as it turns out, I don't need it, because I happen to have a date tomorrow night. How do you like me now?
GREG: Who's the man Walt?
WALT: Shut up.
GREG: That's right, you da man.
JOE: What's her name?
WALT: Agnes. It's a very pretty name.
GREG: What does she look like?
WALT: You are so superficial.
GREG: She's that fat.
WALT: She's not fat.
GREG: Ugly.
WALT: She's not ugly, she's, average.
GREG: Ugly.
JOE: How did you meet her?
WALT: Friend of a friend, mutual friends.
GREG: The internet?
WALT: Yeah, the internet.
GREG: You ever think about meeting someone in the real world?
WALT: Oh I forgot how well you were doing with the ladies.
GREG: At least I put myself out there.
WALT: Why? So you can stop calling them or to knit-pick them to death, "her nails were painted, she works at the mall, her favorite writer is Hemmingway.
GREG: I have standards.
WALT: Angelina Jolie could float down right now and you'd say her ass looked too big.
GREG: It's her lips that are too big and how do you even know you're meeting a woman?
WALT: We talked on the phone.
GREG: He could have a little sister.
WALT: It's a woman all right? It's a woman, and her name is Agnes.
JOE: What is she like?
WALT: She's great, she's smart and uh, she's very funny.
JOE: Where are you takin' her?
WALT: Here? Where else?
JOE: Are you drunk?
WALT: It's a nice place, the cheeseburgers are good, and uh, there's, uh, phones to order your food, that's pretty neat.
GREG: For chrissakes Walt, if you need money, just ask me.
WALT: I don't need any money, I feel comfortable here.
GREG: You're not comfortable here, you're scared shitless of Alex.
WALT: I'm not afraid of him.
GREG: Then why do you always face away from the kitchen?
WALT: I'm not giving that psychopath the satisfaction of looking at me.
JOE: He's a nice guy, he got upset with you once.
WALT: He didn't just get upset, he threatened me.
JOE: You were trying to steal one of the telephones, all he asked you to do was stop.
WALT: He had a weapon.
JOE: A cutting board?
WALT: It's a blunt object.
JOE: He already had it in his hand when he caught you.
WALT: So? Have you seen him with that thing? He's got that Jack Nicholson in 'The Shining' look in his eyes.
JOE: He's harmless.
WALT: That's what they thought about the guy in 'Falling Down'.
JOE: Take her to the 'Fishbowl'
WALT: Too stuffy in there.
JOE: What about 'Fionn McCools'?
WALT: Too dark.
JOE: It's brighter than it is here.
WALT: It's too far okay.
GREG: Is your mom taking odometer readings?
WALT: [silent].
JOE: Your mom told you it was too far?
WALT: She doesn't know I'm going out.
GREG: Then what's the problem?
WALT: There isn't a problem. [pause] She took me off the insurance.
JOE: Why?
WALT: The accident.
JOE: What accident?
WALT: I backed into something,, in the driveway. I hit the telephone poll.
GREG: Who's the man? [JOE kicks GREG] What? Now you're his bitch? That fucking hurt.
SCENE SIX "HEARTBREAK"
"THE UGLY SIDE OF EMOTIONAL REPAIR" or
"VERY FEW WOMEN CAN APPRECIATE THE SMOLDERING EROTIC EXPERIENCE THAT IS 'STAR WARS'"
[WALT and JOE in JOE's apartment]
JOE: She wants to see you again? [WALT stares] She doesn't wanna see you again?
WALT: Maybe I didn't want to see her again.
JOE: Is that true?
WALT: No, but I don't know why you assume she rejected me.
JOE: I just asked what happened.
[cut to Walt and date not talking for a few seconds, then back to JOE & WALT]
JOE: You didn't talk?
WALT: Yeah, we talked about the Phantom Menace. Get this, she didn't know the new ones take place before the old ones.
JOE: Some women just -
WALT: "just can't appreciate the smoldering erotic experience that is 'Star Wars'". Yeah, that never gets old.
JOE: It's still true.
WALT: You weren't there, she didn't even make an effort.
JOE: Why did you have to tell her how much you like 'Star Wars'?
WALT: What am I suppose to do, lie?
JOE: In that situation, yes, you should definitely lie.
WALT: It wasn't 'Star Wars'.
JOE: How do you know?
WALT: She told me.
JOE: What did she say?
WALT: She said she didn't find me attractive.
JOE: Why did she go out with you?
WALT: I wasn't gonna ask her, "Oh by the way, why did you bother going out with me if you already thought I was piece of shit?"
JOE: Could we have one conversation that doesn't involve your failures with the opposite sex?
WALT: Well ...it's the same problem you have, you don't hide your sexuality from people, why should I hide 'Star Wars'?
JOE: I think someone's sexuality is a little more important.
WALT: If it's who you are, it's the same thing.
JOE: 'Star Wars' should not be 'who' you are.
WALT: Neither should your sexuality.
JOE: Do you have any idea how my sexuality affects people's perception of me?
WALT: Yeah, but 'Bi' people are traditionally very promiscuous.
JOE: Where the hell did you read that, Penthouse?
WALT: NO! Maybe. But you don't sleep with a lot of people?
JOE: I don't care what Penthouse thinks about promiscuity.
WALT: You said you were unhappy, I thought maybe that was one of the reasons.
JOE: You thought having too much sex was the problem?
WALT: I don't know, I've never had too much sex before.
JOE: But if you did, no one would call you a slut.
WALT: I never called you a slut, stop being so defensive.
JOE: I'm not being defensive, I'm trying to tell you that EVERYONE IS BISEXUAL, IT'S NORMAL, I'M NORMAL! DEAL WITH IT!
WALT: [Stares blankly] So, uh, did you see the new Terminator 2 DVD?
SCENE SEVEN "POPULIST"
"THEY SELL THESE COOL YODA PEZ DISPENSERS AT THE POPCORN STAND AND EVERYTHING" or
"HAPPINESS IS A WARM BUD COMMERCIAL"
[WALT & GREG in a bar, JOE is playing guitar and singing on stage, finishes her song and sits down with WALT & GREG]
WALT: That was awesome.
GREG: That was really good.
JOE: Too bad no one else was paying attention.
WALT: I don't know, I saw that guy over there bouncing his head a little.
GREG: We'll finish our drinks, then go back to my place.
WALT: I might go home to bed.
GREG: Are you still pissed about the movie?
WALT: No.
GREG: It's a Saturday Night Live skit, they're always terrible, trust me, I did you a favor by not renting it.
JOE: How gracious of you.
GREG: You can't tell me you didn't think that movie looked stupid.
JOE: Yes it did look stupid, but you're saying it is stupid.
GREG: I'm allowed to draw conclusions.
JOE: You decide whether or not you like a movie before you even see it.
GREG: Name one good film I did that to.
WALT: 'The Phantom Menace' You hated that movie before we walked into the theater.
GREG: If you wanna debate the merits of 'The Empire Strikes Back', I can live with that, but don't tell me you weren't disappointed with 'Phantom Menance.'
WALT: It's not supposed to be Shakespeare, it's supposed to be entertainment.
GREG: But it's not even entertaining, it exploits everything good about the first two with all the cheesy sentiment of the third.
WALT: Biggest grossing movie of 1999, the people have spoken.
GREG: Yeah, and what have they said 'Aghhhhhh'.
JOE: It's no different from Frank Capra or Billy Wilder, [pause] people wanna be entertained.
GREG: You don't even like Frank Capra movies.
JOE: That's not the point.
GREG: Yes it is, you have to in some way believe in what you're arguing, otherwise it's meaningless.
JOE: Not everything can be 'Citizen Kane'.
WALT: Yeah, not everything can be 'Citizen Kane'.
GREG: Wow, I didn't even see Joe's lips move that time.
WALT: [Greg exits to the bathroom] Hey.
JOE: Hey.
WALT: There's another 'Star Wars' all-niter next week.
JOE: That should be fun.
WALT: Yeah, I think it's gonna be a lot of fun, uh, I was wondering, if maybe, you know, you might wanna come.
JOE: I have to work.
WALT: I didn't say what day.
JOE: I thought you said Friday.
WALT: There's one on Friday.
JOE: That's too bad, I have to work.
WALT: That's cool, there's one on Saturday too.
JOE: [Pause] I don't wanna be rude, but, uh, Star Wars isn't really my thing.
WALT: You were just defending 'Star Wars'.
JOE: Well, I think Greg should keep an open mind about it. [WALT looks at her] They're no women in those movies.
WALT: Come on, there's Princess Leah!
JOE: She's the damsel in distress. They might as well tie her to the train tracks.
WALT: In the first one, but she's a Jedi. They're like Japanese Warriors, only with light sabers.
JOE: She's not a Jedi! She has the force, but they never let her train, it's all about Luke.
WALT: It's not just about the movies, you can get all dressed up [JOE looks at WALT] You don't want to get dressed up?
JOE: I'm not putting my hair in cinnamon buns.
WALT: I'll be Leah, you can be Luke.
JOE: Are you paying?
WALT: [excited] Of course.
JOE: Then I'll go.
WALT: Really?
JOE: Is there something you're not telling me?
WALT: No, no, no, it's fun, you'll like it ...awesome!
GREG: [re-enters] 'Awesome' [WALT stares at Greg]
WALT: I'm gonna watch 'Star Wars' without you.
GREG: But you'll tell me all about it, right? [Promise?]