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| SCENE TWO Gwen & Trevor GWEN: I was trying to be helpful. TRE: Well stop being so helpful all right? GWEN: You're just gonna sit there and get drunk? TRE: Yes, I'm gonna sit here and get bleeding fucking drunk, is that all right with you? GWEN: That's fine, I'm leaving. TRE: Yeah, go ahead, just desert me like everybody else. GWEN: I refuse to be a party to your self destruction. TRE: I'm getting drunk, lots of people get drunk, there's nothing extraordinary about that. GWEN: And when you drink, that's when you start doing coke. I told you before, you start doing coke again, we're done, it's over. TRE: Like I said, go, I'm used to it by now, everybody abandons me. GWEN: Are you sure you're not drunk yet, cause you already sound pretty sorry for yourself. TRE: I already have a mother. GWEN: No you don't, your mother's dead. TRE: Thank you for reminding me, it was a figure of speech. GWEN: Just not a very good one. TRE: Do you ever stop criticizing? Do you ever stop with the "fucking I told you so"s? I'm a fuck up all right? It's all my fucking fault! Is that what you wanna hear? GWEN, YOU ARE PERFECT, YOU ARE WITHOUT FLAW, I KNEEL AT YOUR FEET AND WORSHIP THE HOLY GROUND YOU TREAD UPON. GWEN: Get up Trevor. TRE: OH HOLY ONE, HELP ME SEE THE LIGHT. GWEN: Get up [pause]. I'm giving you one last chance to save this. TRE: And how do you suggest we do that? GWEN: Well, you could start by not drinking yourself into oblivion. TRE: Then what? GWEN: Then we talk, and see if we can find a solution to our little problem. TRE: Can I just finish this drink? GWEN: Not if you want me to stay. TRE: Fine. SCENE THREE Glen arrives home at his New York apartment, opens the door, a chain is keeping it closed, he reaches inside and slides the chain off and enters, an old woman immediately approaches him, OLD LADY: [In Spanish] Get out, Get out, Get out. Out of my house! GLEN: English, speak English. OLD LADY: [In Spanish] Get out of my house, Out of my house! GLEN: I don't speak Spanish, speak English. OLD LADY: [continues in Spanish] Rape! Rape! Rape! GLEN: Okay, time to leave my apartment, yeah, that's nice, I'll see you later [he pushes her into the hallway and locks the door, looking around an apartment that is obviously being inhabited by someone else. Picks up the telephone and dials] Mark, what the fuck's going on here? It's Glen, who the fuck do you think it is? Who the hell is this in my apartment? [pause] What do mean I was evicted? Did you pay the rent? You blew the fucking rent money on coke didn't you? You fucker, I'm gonna kill you. You're a fucking dead man, stay right there, I'm coming to kill you right now. [starts to gather some of his things that have been left at the apartment, opens the door to leave, steps outside, the old lady is talking with the police] POLICE#1: All right, put the stolen goods down and get up against the wall with your hands up. GLEN: You don't understand, this is my stuff, this used to be my apartment. POL#1: I'm gonna have to ask you to get up against the wall sir. GLEN: This is New York, since when do the police get here in five minutes? POL#1: Sir, this is the last time I'm gonna ask you, put down the stolen goods and get up against the wall, or else we're gonna have to use force. GLEN: I told you, this is just a big misunderstanding, I can explain what happened. I can show you [reaches into his pocket] POL#1: HE'S REACHING FOR A WEAPON, TAKE HIM DOWN! [Officer #2 shoots, GLEN ducks, lies face down] GLEN: What the fuck are you doing? I was going for my wallet, my drivers license has this address on it, just check it. POL#1: [Handling Glen with force] You 4have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law, you have a right to an attorney, if you cannot afford one, the court will appoint one for you. SCENE FOUR Phil on the set of the soft porn film he's doing PORNO DIRECTOR: Glen baby, how you doin'? PHIL: I'm good Bob, I feel good. PD: We were just going over some of the footage of you Carl and Vicki, and well, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but, it sorta looks like, I don't know how to say this, but it sorta looks like, you're maybe paying a little too much attention to Carl, you know? PHIL: That's not possible, Vicki's hot, I couldn't take my eyes off her. PD: I thought so, it's just the camera, you know, it can be very deceiving, you could be looking at one thing, and the camera, because of the angle and whatnot, makes it look like you're looking somewhere else, you know? PHIL: Maybe if I closed my eyes more, like I'm in ecstasy [makes porn star strained 'fuck face'] PD: You're beautiful Glen, you're a beautiful man. I knew I could count on you Glen, you're good people. PHIL: While you're here, I was looking over the script, and you know the pizza delivery scene? PD: One of my favorites Glen, one of my absolute favorites. PHIL: It's very well written, I like it, but I'm an action hero, right? PD: Not 'A' action hero, THE action hero Glen, THE action hero. PHIL: Yeah, that's why I don't understand why I'm delivering a pizza in this scene. PD: You're undercover man, it's a disguise. Your character is a man of many faces, many, many faces. PHIL: But I never get any real information out of her, it sort of seems a little tacked on, you know? I re-wrote it a little, I thought you might like some of these changes. PD: Tell you what, I'll take a look at these right now, you're a special man Glen, you're a very special man. You stay real, all right? You my man, you know that right? We gonna be big, we gonna blow this shit up. Less Talk - PHIL: MORE ROCK! PD: Who's my man, Glen? Who is my man? Beautiful. [Exits, throws the re-writes in the garbage.]. SCENE FIVE 'SEXIST/ENVY' SCENE SIX Gwen & Trevor watching 'Sexist' GWEN: You see that, that's how good this could be. This is why we should not give up. TRE: You're right, it's very good, unfortunately Kimberly is no longer here in case you've forgotten. GWEN: We could use the footage we have, shoot the Greg and Walt scenes, and write some new stuff to get to eighty minutes, presto, feature length film. TRE: Presto? Forty new minutes of a movie we spent six months trying to get eighty out of in the first place? GWEN: I seem to remember someone patting themselves on the back quite a bit over what a good screenplay they had written, can't you come up with anything else? TRE: Not on this kind of notice, that's not how inspiration works. GWEN: We don't need anything this second, but we will need something, so you better start writing. TRE: Without the female lead? GWEN: She doesn't have to be in the whole movie. TRE: The female lead doesn't have to be in the whole movie? GWEN: No, we write her out, put a new character in. TRE: What is this 'Three's Company'? GWEN: Are you trying to find a reason to give up? There's already plenty, if you wanna quit, just say it. TRE: I haven't backed out yet. GWEN: You wanted to, I had to talk you out of it three times. And if you count the two times you tried to kill yourself, that's five. TRE: I did it where someone would find me, it was more a cry for help than anything, you said that yourself. GWEN: Yeah, when I was talking you out of killing yourself the second time. TRE: Kurosawa tried to kill himself twice, and then went on to have one of the most respected careers in all of cinema. GWEN: Yeah, I remember, you say that every time we bring this up. TRE: That's because it's true. GWEN: Yeah, but you keep bringing up the extraordinary events in the lives of OTHER people. I hate to be the one to break this to you, but you're not one of those people, when are you gonna get that through your head? TRE: Oh, and you're doing a bang up fucking job, I forgot, queen of the fucking head choppers. GWEN: You asked me to shoot at a 2 to 1 aspect ratio, with a camera that only has 4x3, how the hell am I suppose to frame a photograph I can't even fucking see? TRE: You knew we had limitations when we started. I said, can you go wide enough? You said, yeah, don't worry about it. GWEN: That's when you were gonna get me an actual wide angle lens, not a fifty dollar lens adapter. TRE: I didn't know a wide angle lens was gonna cost more than the fucking camera. GWEN: You didn't know how much the camera was gonna cost, you didn't know how long it would take to shoot a scene, you didn't know how to do anything. TRE: So I fucked up all right? What do you want, blood? GWEN: No, I want you to stop feeling sorry for yourself and help me finish the God damn movie. TRE: Okay. GWEN: How's the car running? TRE: It's fine, why? GWEN: We're going to New York to get Glen. TRE: Glen already told us he'd never work with us again. GWEN: He told you that, he doesn't like you. TRE: Could we call him first? GWEN: He'll say no on the phone, he can't say no to me in person. SCENE SEVEN Gwen and Trevor in New York with Glen in Jail. TRE: Why did they put you in jail? GLEN: You know who I blame, you Trevor, this is your fault, you did this to me. TRE: Glen, I'm on your side man, I wanna help. GLEN: You wanna help? Tell you what, how 'bout you go back in time, say three months, and forget you ever knew I fucking existed. Then I would still be in a very nice, reasonably priced apartment, instead of in a cold grey fucking jail! That's how you could help me. TRE: I know you're upset, I know what you must be going through. GLEN: Oh you do, do you? You know what it's like to have to bribe a four hundred pound Simoan to make sure no one tries to fuck you up the ass? You know all about that Trevor? GWEN: We want to finish the film. GLEN: So? TRE: We want you to come back. GLEN: [To TREVOR] Is he serious? GWEN: Joe leaves in the middle of the movie, we focus on you and Phil. GLEN: No. GWEN: You'll be the lead. GLEN: Even if I was stupid enough to work with you two again, I would never agree to work with that idiot. TRE: I thought you liked Phil. GLEN: Nobody likes Phil, Kimberly didn't even like Phil. GWEN: He's hardly in it, he's just in enough scenes to get written out, this is your movie. TRE: You're the man here. Don't make me beg. GLEN: No fucking way. TRE: Please, Glen, for me. GLEN: For you? Are you high? Why the fuck would I do anything for you, you fucked up my life, look at me, orange is not my color Trevor, I'm a fucking inmate, and when I get outta here, I'm comin' to kill you. First I'm gonna kill Phil, then I'm gonna kill you. TRE: You haven't even been sentenced yet. GWEN: [grabs Tre, pulls him aside.] Shut up. TRE: What do you mean, shut up? GWEN: He hates you, stop talking, I'll handle this. TRE: He doesn't hate me, he's upset, I'm talking him down, I think I'm making some real progress. GWEN: If you don't shut up, somebody else might kill you first, now go outside. TRE: I'm not leaving. GWEN: Get out. TRE: I have to go to the bathroom Glen, I'll see you around, okay? GLEN: You're dead. TRE: All right, I'll see you later. GLEN: It's not gonna work. GWEN: What's not gonna work? GLEN: You're not gonna manipulate me. GWEN: Listen, forget about the movie, forget everything. How are you doing? GLEN: I told you already, I'm not doing very well. GWEN: We can get you out of here. GLEN: You and Kubrick over there gonna break me out? GWEN: No, we're gonna post bail. GLEN: You could've already done that. GWEN: We could have, we wanted to make sure you were okay first. GLEN: I'm not okay, but you can still bail me out. GWEN: Are you sure you won't come back? GLEN: I told you I'm not working with Phil, he keeps staring at me. GWEN: I can tell him not to look at you. GLEN: I don't wanna have to deal with somebody's latent homosexuality. GWEN: He's not gay, he was with Kimberly. GLEN: I don't care if he doesn't know it, that man is gay. GWEN: How can you work in theater if you're homophobic? GLEN: I'm not homophobic, I don't care if someone has a crush on me, I just don't want it to be somebody that fucking creepy. GWEN: If I promise to keep Phil away from you, would you please come back? GLEN: No. GWEN: Not even as a crew member? You'll hardly have to see Phil at all. GLEN: I don't know anything about being a techie, why the hell would you want me working behind the scenes? GWEN: Because I miss you, I never thought about it when we were shooting, but once you left ? [cut to Tre & Gwen] GWEN: He's in. TRE: How the hell did you do that? GWEN: Never mind how I did it, let's get Phil. TRE: You're on a roll why not. GWEN: Something tells me I won't have quite the same effect on Phil. SCENE EIGHT Gwen and Trevor at the makeshift studio Phil is working at. TRE: Phil Charbonneau. DOORGUY: Never heard of him. TRE: I was told this is where I could find him. [spots Phil] Phil, Phil, over here. PHIL: Hi Trevor, Gwen, this is unexpected, what a nice surprise. [To DOORGUY] They're with me. Come on, we can go to my dressing room. TRE: So how you been Phil? PHILIP: Philip, people call me Philip now. TRE: Sorry Philip, how is everything? PHIL: Good, very good, couldn't be better. Have a seat, just move that stuff out of the way. So what brings you two out here? TRE: Well, we were near your Mom's place, and Gwen said, 'you know, we should go and visit Philip, I really miss that guy.' PHIL: Really? GWEN: Yeah, of course, you helped us out a lot, we haven't forgotten that. PHIL: Yeah well, I guess I thought you guys kinda blamed me for Kimberly leaving. TRE: No that's silly Phil, that's silly talk. It wasn't your fault. You're the victim here, all of our sympathy goes out to you. GWEN: Definitely, we're both firmly on your side here. PHIL: Thanks, I really appreciate that. GWEN: So this is your new movie? PHIL: Yeah, it's a lead role, so that's nice, but, I don't really think the director is using me properly, it's not exactly what I expected when I signed on. TRE: Are you unhappy? PHIL: Well, you know me, I don't like to complain, really, but yeah, I'm not very happy here, this isn't my kind of thing. GWEN: You know, we were thinking about doing another project ourselves. PHIL: Oh yeah? TRE: A sequel to the last one, this time with just you and Glen, you know, that was the real strength of the film anyway. PHIL: Me and Glen? You want me to play Walt again? TRE: I can't imagine making a sequel to 'Lost in Film' without Philip Charbonneau. It wouldn't feel right. PHIL: Really? Because I thought with all the stylistic differences between you and I, you might re-cast me in the sequel. TRE: No, not at all, we had our moments, I'll agree, but that's part of the artistic process, you're a method actor and you're very good at it, I probably need to work harder to appreciate that more. PHIL: Thank you Trevor, you don't know how much that means to me. So are you planning on going to see Glen? GWEN: We just talked to him in New York. PHIL: Did he ask about me? GWEN: YES, yes he did, in fact, if I'm not mistaken, I think he said there's no way he would even consider doing a sequel without you, those were his exact words, weren't they? TRE: I think he might have been even a little more emphatic than that. PHIL: So you went to see him before me? TRE: No, not really, we were in New York to, pitch the movie, and look for some financing, and we thought, while we're here, we should talk to Glen. It just kinda worked out that way. PHIL: But you still asked him first. GWEN: You're the star, without you, there's no project, so maybe from a geographical standpoint you were second, but in terms of importance, you were definitely first and foremost in our minds. PHIL: What about Kimberly? GWEN: We still have the footage from the bridge where she tells Greg she's leaving town, so that's her exit, the sequel starts right after that. PHIL: So how much time do you need from me? TRE: A month. GWEN: Two months tops. PHIL: And I'm the lead? TRE: Of course, who else has your presence? PHIL: Glen doesn't mind playing a smaller role. GWEN: At first he was a little hesitant, but when he found out it was to showcase you, he gladly stepped aside for the sake of the film. PHIL: Really, I knew he liked me, he just can't show affection very well, but I knew he liked me. Let's call him. TRE: NO. GWEN: He doesn't have a phone, he's moving into a new place, and there's no phone, so, we can't call him. TRE: He'll be here Monday, that's when we start shooting. PHIL: So you really want me to star in your movie? GWEN: In all honesty Philip, it's you, or nobody. PHIL: I love you guys [hugs them both]. SCENE NINE Independence SCENE TEN GWEN & TRE watching 'Independence' TRE: Is it just me or does Phil voice change in every scene? GWEN: It's just you. TRE: That high pitch thing, it sounds like he's going through puberty. GWEN: He sounds like a loser, just like Walt's suppose to. TRE: I hate the way he says that, no matter what I tell him, he can't seem to deliver that line. GWEN: Kevin Spacey couldn't deliver that line. TRE: Not only could he deliver that line, he'd make it funny. GWEN: You don't have Kevin Spacey, you have Phil, he's not gonna get any better, so I don't really see the point of criticizing him like this. TRE: As the director, it's my responsibility to criticize the acting until I find it acceptable. I'm doing my job here. He's getting better, just not fast enough. GWEN: What movie have you been watching? He's just as terrible as the first day of rehearsal, the only difference is now he knows some of his lines. TRE: He doesn't have to be Olivier, I just want him to find Walt's voice. GWEN: So you're not worried that he thinks he's in a drama, or that he makes up lines as he goes, you just want his voice to be consistent? TRE: It's a start. GWEN: The acting is not going to be what stands out to people. TRE: I think Glen did a good job here. GWEN: Yeah, he's actually paying attention, but he still sounds like he's at an audition. TRE: He's getting better. GWEN: The acting is horrible, there's nothing we can do about it, we just to have to finish and move on. TRE: So what are you saying? I shouldn't worry about his voice, I should worry about his line delivery, I shouldn't worry about his line delivery and Glen is just a hack. GWEN: See, that didn't make any sense at all. TRE: Glen, how can we make him better. GWEN: Cast him in an anger management documentary. TRE: In this movie. GWEN: Tell him to relax, tell him to deliver the dialogue that's written the way you want it, tell him to loosen up his body language on camera. TRE: Why didn't you say anything about that before? GWEN: Because you're the director, that's your job. TRE: What about Phil? GWEN: Same thing, they're both too nervous. TRE: You're right, I gotta work on calming them down, that's good, see, and you call these production meetings a waste of time. SCENE ELEVEN Phil parked in the driveway, taking up two spots. Taking things out of his trunk, Glen arrives, has to park on the street. PHIL: Hi Glen! GLEN: Hey Phil. PHIL: It's Philip, but you can still call me Phil if you want. [Glen says nothing] So when did you get into town? GLEN: You just saw me pull in. PHIL: Oh yeah, that's right, you should've parked in the driveway, [looks at his car] Oh, crappy-crap-crap, I took up two spots, I'm sorry, I'll move. GLEN: It's fine, don't worry about it. PHIL: So did you watch the Yankees game last night? GLEN: I hate baseball. PHIL: There was a soccer game on too. GLEN: Who was playing? PHIL: I don't know, but it looked like a good game. Do you need some help with your bags? Cause my stuff's pretty light, I could probably grab something for you. GLEN: That's okay Phil, I'll be fine. PHIL: Yeah, you travel pretty light, so you probably don't need any help. So how was New York? GLEN: Good, very good. PHIL: Of course, that's a stupid question, I mean, it's New York, I mean, of course it's gonna be good, it's the Big Apple, the city that never sleeps, everybody loves New York, like 'Duh? Phil, what are you thinking?' GLEN: Could I get by please? PHIL: Am I in your way? I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was in the way, if I would've known I was in the way, I would've moved sooner. GLEN: Could you move now? PHIL: Oh Jesus, I don't know where my head is. GLEN: Up your ass? PHIL: Pardon me. GLEN: Nevermind. PHIL: That looks heavy, are you sure you don't want any help? GLEN: I'm absolutely positive. PHIL: Well, I guess I'll see you around. GLEN: Probably in the house I'd imagine. PHIL: That's true, I mean, if we're all living together, of course I'm gonna see you. GLEN: There you go [camera follows Phil into the house where Tre and Gwen are watching 'Independence'] You said you were going to keep him away from me. TRE: Shit, is Phil here? PHIL: Hey Trevor, Hi Gwen, how are you? TRE: Good, so you guys got here at the same time? PHIL: Kind of, I've been sorting out the car for the last couple hours. GWEN: You've been outside for a couple hours? PHIL: It's really nice out, I think I'm gonna go for a walk. You wanna come Glen, stretch out your legs? GLEN: No thank you. PHIL: Anybody else? Okay, well, I'll see everybody later. [Exit Phil] GLEN: If that happens again, I'm leaving. GWEN: What did he do? GLEN: Technically, nothing. TRE: Did he say something? GLEN: I don't want to be put in that situation anymore, am I clear? GWEN: We can't keep him from talking to you. We all live here. GLEN: Like I said, keep him away from me, or I walk. [exit Trevor] |