April 15, 2004; 11am, tangy Thursday
_yes, im practicing alot on my Harlem Shake(s). yup yup, its improving as u all know... or shood know. anyways gala opening night for "Anything Goes" musical is Friday April 23, 2004 opening around 8pm, itll last like 2hrs. yaaaaaaaayyyyyyy!!!!! so i finished reading the SL Times newspaper, eh? and theres almost always some surprise sticking around there yer knows? liiike for instances, robberies, crimes, thefts, hijackers, murders. obituaries, deaths, questionairres. a robber was caught when he was stuck in traffic. and starbucks was held at gunpoint by one robber around 5:25am. laff. lol!!! thats coldhearted of me buuuuuut... u know. things like that rattle not just oakland neighbors, but San Leandro neighborhood as well. im not gonna go yumcha today, i refused to go. sick and tired of it, u know. my friends sometimes are so depressed. they feel so distressed. and alotta people taught me a lotta deep things in life. tom, grace, rick. 3 meaningful people who finally made one thing known to me: to live life is to live it to the fullest in every possible way. to be happy, to enjoy life. "There's a time for anything & everything." don't u all agree with this quote? i do. sincerely i do. its strange... spring break passed by so fast... i think im gonna experiment with the mini camera Thomas gave me. its sleek and cool. but i didnt even open it... and Shirley and David Tran both like to watch cartoons. its funny, i do too! who says its childish? hrmph. red hot chili peppers are a stunning band, i swear to blood they make one heckuva one. few rockstars are that starry. and the NBA playoffs have finally arrived! yesss!!!!!! YES! the best of bballing has come once again in these 3 mind breaking months. SAC and DAL are big rivals, SAC and LAL are big rivals, LAL and HOU are big rivals mainly cuz of Yao Ming and Shaquille O Neal, the big boys of the league, face each other once again in playoffs. hilaaaaaarious, i must admit!!! im such a lazy slacker... i didnt even finish all my HW from school!_
April 16, 2004; 1:15pm, foiled Friday
_its silent, dead silent. so still with death around this quiet, "rich" neighborhood full of snobs & such. even tho cars run around and kids are littered everywhere around here... theres one exception- there are these annoying chickens that squawk every morning. its so noisy and irritable. its like they do that every morning. once, when i was in 1st/2nd/3rd grade, Tom and Grace both encountered my teacher teaching in spanish. i totally couldnt understand what the teacher was saying, so Tom and Grace tried to protect me n help me out somehow. they were pretty pissed at what happened. and alotta times in Gilroy, tom and Grace would aid me on work i had trouble with. im starting to believe its them who truly helped bring out my language efficiency. odd, but possible. It's comforting to have friends. my father used to own a Fang's Restaurant in Gilroy, a small, quiet town. it was pretty neat, yet dirty. the restaurant that is. it was such an attraction mainly because there was a lotta white people down there and they never or rarely experienced such exquisite cuisines of cultured foods. i have to admit that the chinese food really was pretty tasty. we as a Fang family pretty much left a huge legacy there. in about 4, 3 years to say, we made a devastating impact there... so many people ate there. i met a whole many peoples, and people who came by there used to give me and my lil bro mucho gifts. ho daw, as in alotta gifts and sometimes even candies. coool... in remembrance of Gilroy. holy devil's accomplices! i nearly forgot to mention 3 people who still survive in Gilroy, survived to remember us. and they STILL are in the same spots! Frank, the Milias apartments manager, greeted us when we (me, bro, and mom) entered the lobby. he recognized us! touched, much touched. me am surprised that the "Taiwan guy" and the "Taiwan lady" are still alive on Egleberry Road. they still live in their moderate homes. i tried to help the Taiwan lady kill 2 dragonflies flying around her porch. she has a dog, and she knows a bit english. she scolded her dog. im so captivated by this song composed by Cole Porter- Let's Misbehave. enticing song it is. ohyeah, theres destined to be this movie coming out in June called Delovely. dejavu since theres a beautiful song called Delovely in the musical production im in. what dejavus... promise youll all go see it, yes yes? its a goody good show i heard. aw crap. my short super short hair isnt growing back as fast as i presumed it would... i want to remember my past for some reason(s), to some extent(s)... by this method of journalizing. "I don�t want to live and forget." Do you? Coz maybe you already have._
April 17, 2004; 10am, starting Saturday
_going to Oakland downtown for basketball shizzles. today is a start. more precisely the start offf... 5pm-10pm grueling musical rehearsals. ive caught up on some sleepy sleep hours and now it's all gonna be wasted like that *snaps fingers*. theres rehearsal 5pm-10pm all next week and then... dun dun dun!!! (drum rolls) the big event! the ONE!!! friday and saturday, changed to 7:30pm beginning of the performances. saturday theres one, and a 2pm one on SUNDAY!!! what the foozeballs???!!! how can i withstand such threats...?!
5pm; so it was supposeddddd...... to rain. today. TODAY, fer the rain god's sake. forecast forecasted that rain was on saturday out of any other days. Buuut it sprinkled a bit at noon when i was on the courts playing *ahem* not street ball. i really dread street ball; in fact i almost despise it! cuz it sorta disturbsthe peace. i mean like when u roll the ball everywhere like a plain maniac, thats like double dribble or travelling. sure, roll it inside out of your baggy ass clothes! its fun actually when someone does that. but when people act all crazed and throw it all ova the place, fer reol itll cause some beef. and i dont mean ham or spam. BEEF out on the streets, geez. wtf. yet again. too much murder on the streets already. Hans and Marius, two annoying friends of my younger bro, seem to slowly, gradually be changing (for the better at least). hans, at first and marius, were both enemies of mine. buttttt now there like neutral. neutralized! hreheh... it does seem a bit better, but lets psychoanalyze these two punks a bit more. Hans Wun is a chicken, a total coward. he seems to be RIGHTeous and correct all the time, but deep down hes more a whiner and complainer. yet today me and him had an old fashioned chat. at his place. and we're 4 years apart. he does lowly, common anti lawful acts, but he minimizes them nowadays. and he's got a pretty cool attitude and good, virtuous heart within himself. he speaks of settling down sometimes. and life. and values. and the fact that i asked him to be a good parent one day, he answered he will. he'll learn. from mistakes. Marius Rotaru, on the other hand, is Romanian. Romania, Europe. heh. hes a basic sorta man's man type of person. and gawddamit, i dont mean gay gay. like he typical, firsthand "man's man" gayish gaylord sorta meanings. i mean as in macho. he's like all macho, he likes to be macho, and IS macho. hes perverted, i swear. bloody hell to anyone who thinks he's a suave gentleman- hes a rich dude who's about 5'3" and goes to private school somewhere. he used to go to john muir middle school with my bro, but now hes laid the icing on the cake so to speak. and hes NOT that lawful and moral. he's not entirely bold and all that; i socked him on his back once with not even half my devilish strength and he bawls a bit and goes home, scared! HA, serves him right to mess with likes of meh (cackle). but waaaaay past all his manishness like many other males, hes got a little bit of sensitivity and honor (seriously). my moms workplace and how she gets there is a tad too bad. not like any other workplace isnt, but health inspectors, helloooo? *knock knock*? geez!!! her restaurant and many, MANY MANY MANY other places in the world should be changed IMMEDIATELY. i mean, the food isnt bad enuf, but smokers, alcoholics, and even the very cheapstake parking lot is full of fumes and cancer causing shit. CRAP, its bad. and the people who work alongside her arent deemed neccessarily peaceful or sane. they're pretty much on the extreme ends of the rope. in a bad way. so these people join the basketball game im hosting a bit. and they're were about a few niggas and an asianish dude. and they all shtink. i mean they suck, precisely. they ALL try these hotshot ass dribble moves and they're not even wearing the right friggin clothes. and they're playing on a court. comon...... dont blame me in any way.... geez. everyone tries to fake everyone out in the most gay, noobish ways. everyone's trying to shooot it... hogggg the ball... wow. WOW. not like any of tehm could shoot under extreme defensive pressure. once u get a hand in front of anybody's face, they'll miss like insanity ran berserk. hmmm. school starts again on Monday. damnn....... shucks for me... for people,... -_- at least im finally getting a better comp. or harddrive. and some other cool equipment! Tom, much love to ya! man, that dude is the best. ally, everything else, yeah, yup yup; hands up to the man, TOM! he has connections and hes got the skills. and my brother and i might get new hardware soon. the GREAT, sleek kind. finallly... after years of reeking computers. ugh. bleah. "You know I'm not much of a people person? Well, I'm probably less of a machine person." One more thing... or maybe a couple more things! i miss... (ok ok ill say it. confessions!) i mISS... her... Samantha, Samantha N Stettler, to be true. shes a sophomore, shes in choir. met her this year; shes normally SECOND SOPRANO. me, im BASS; yup, its the deeps! did i ever mention the deeper the voice the harsher and harder it is to sing? thats very true; no wonder males sing worse than females. i wonder what the "N" in her name stands for. shes so soft, so softspoken. and... shes scrumptious, and verrrry soothing..... to hear... to see... and... its peculiar. shes captivating. verrry. VERY. shes got these big eyes and seem to lock my stare sometimes. shes brunette. and did i say shes very nice? sentimental, and serious. sentimentally serious and shes seriously sentimental. man, ive got a thing for her, im sure. and vice versa! i also miss Kevin Calderon, Carla Stary, Anthony Vega, Evan Cannon. i miss the fun. damnit, i need to get their contacts somehow! laff... (0_0) its very enticing and meditative whenever i write my memories down. permanent memoirs. always good, for me. im thinking that HALLS and ALTOIDS are similarly strong in effect. very powerful; some commercials and ads dont lie! And Irene Lau... >.< shes in my HP english3 class. shes got a very rosyish face, a slim appearance, and shes sorta has a depressive look around her. BUT when she grins or smiles, EARTHQUAKES OCCUR!!! YIKES, hot tamale that get back stare has gotten me of the lobby!!! ahaahahhahahahahhhhahahahhahahaha........... whew....... (wipes sweat). Les Miserables is a French play. it can also be a musical. did it with Choir and Notables this year. its full of tragedy and sadness... and and... it touched some people's hearts. we held performances of it at our school and John Muir middle school and bancroft middle school all in San Leandro. Mister Glover as the director, Marge the adept pianist. in the M1 room, music building. for the school, and then one of the performances was 7pm at night! in the room... and we all had to be required to wear blue jeans and a Les Miserables t shirt. look! theres a pirate patch on her eye! an emblem representing San Leandro High School's mascot, the pirate. the rest of the t shirt color was gray. it was a dullish, saddish show, but with some hope!!! and encouragement. I especially liked "Castle On A Cloud" song. because it speaks of these dreams where someone escapes to so realities of life wouldnt get to him/her. Click*, shut*, dim*! its like the clouds and the sun are in torturing unison- the light keeps dimming and THEN getting brighter back and forth and back and forth.... scarrrry. like a movie. WHEN is that chinese guy Allen Chang gonna freaking finish my CD musics!? hopefully soon..... but he assured me itll be done before he graduates. before it all ends. Sometimes the sky turns a lovely fluorescent, calming, smooth orangish red yellow combo. its like a smiling rainbow... and it reminds me... or what an illuminating place the world can be. especially when the sun is setting. look out and up at the heavens when they smile upon u sometimes, anywhere u can spot it. its so sparkly and self expressive... the sky... i want to be a bird, and fly... fly above... away in the sky... up above and away from the ones who act sly, lie, and fry... forgive my excessive ranting._
April 18, 2004; 9am, sequenced Sunday
_Come to THINK of it, i never really paid attention to some things... i guess im so poor i cant even pay attention. get it? ^_^ *grin* sometimes Charlee cracks himself up! yesh yes. ive been up close and personal in being around oceans and huge bodies of water, but ive never really been near a pond or lake. ive been near a few streams and rivers in life, but where..... and which? damn. memories memories memories. so much to uphold and withhold.... there was this huge bay near Encinal High School, one of my former high schools. the water was right next to the PE field, stands for Physical Education. theres this dusty, part grassy field that is ovalish. and some extremely doity bleachers, ya know wha i mean? welp, theres a really rackety, weak fence separating the school from random children drowning. and some rocky rocks on the edge of the foamy waves. its actually quite a scene, if one goes there. very vibrant in a sense. time and time again i reminisce of its splendor... and yet my last major personal hand to hand brawl was there. i was sophomore, around December of 2004 had this pathetic, faggotish fight with this other sophomore. turned out hes mexican and filipino. however the fuck u spell filipino. i dont give a freak. besides- it seems im not a mexicanish filipinoish sorta guy. probably never was; never will be? the bastard gave me a black eye and i got a few scrapes and bruises here and there. MAYBE I BLACKED OUT!!! damn. these things are almost all origins of my supreme angers, ty all very much. luckily ive learned and acknowledged the values of peace. very important. Peace. Sometimes it's all we have. Sometime's it's all we have left." fortunately the punk thug ugly creep got kicked out, expelled from Encinal. a month later i friggin transferred because i had too many probs concerning Encinal. i was getting a D in Spanish2 for Devil's sake! geez. what the frig is wrong with me?! and i had some odd, horrifying to an extent relationship with a few teachers. like mister rodriguez. i had him for HP History and man he was tuff. he used to be big stuff major shit lawyer. he drove us like cattle, worked us to death (students). buuuuut in the end he gave me a C. C-, maybe. im sure he sympathized with me instead of valuing my "handy dandy" work i turned in. he hosted this performance when i was a sophomore in his class during winter. it was relating to the French Revolution. we had to SING about it. or dance about it. or both. back then, i really wasnt that good. in fact... face it. i did TERRIBLy. eheh... Aaron Ludington. he was my only partner "helping" me in the whole winter performance in December. speaaking of Aaron, he's white. caucasian. quite goofy, a good hearted sorta fellow. hes very laid back, wore glasses. hes about 6', and pretty sunburnt. reddish whitish appearance. his demeanor was really laid back, and he was obese; huge size. and he had dirty blond hair. and his hygiene wasnt really to speak of... i mean it was really sorta nauseating. like SOME people (glares at u). eheh... he liked food. loved it, ate alot, u get the picture. and yet he was in band. he played (0_0) yep, he played the trumpet! and he wasnt so bad at it either. at first glance he seemed like aw shucks darnit, this mans idiotic and naive. in extremist ways. but at closer looks, he really is almost a wise individual. odd. some people appear dumb, but later on, thru careful time, they exhibit high potential. in reality, thats what i told his family. i tole them folks all of them, when i visited his pigpen house once... that they all had potential. especially Aaron. i realized it, and they didnt. they didnt really care or believed much in that crap. they were just living for the moment, he was sorta doing good, and that was all there was. Aaron had asthma and some other dysfunctions. *shudder a bit*. damn. what a kid. super asthma. cuz his parents smoked like shit!!! mann..... but he was my FRIEND. now hes pretty mucha lost pal. hes neutral. for petes sake, he wasnt that close of a pal. the counselor, Paul Story. hes still my friend though. he cared a bit about me, was concerned of me since i was so anti social. hes a good man. and miz judkins, my spanish1 teacher- she was very sentimental and nice as well. gave me a dashing A! yay!!! and David Rannefeld, he was a goodfellow. had pure white hair, dang. u know some people have silverish or grayis hhair? he had these odd glasses. he was a jolly good fellow though, i had him for algebra2. gave me a B i thinks. and Aaron Butler, my Geometry teacher. he redefined everything in math for me. after i got a D- in geometry in middle school, he redeemed me. i got an A in his superb class. he used to go out of his way to help me, to teach me. *sigh*. and then theres Daniel Richard Salsbury!!! GIVE IT UP FOR DAN THE MAN!!! hes the '05 class sponsor. although the class of 2005 was pretty screwy and meek, he still upheld much spirit. he was an enthusiastic, energetic dude. vivid, rarely bleak. joked around alot, and i miss him. so many faces from so many places... |everyone's joint i ever been in, is like totally filthy. all of them is so disorganized and stuff is flung everywhere. totally scattered. veryyy disrupted. and my family... my mom. shes the major doer. shes actually the pillar, the strengthening support, the bridgehold of this family. shes really the one that deserves credit of keeping all the households ive ever lived in exceptionally clean. really frisky, so polygonic. man, shes like the preppiest, squarish person ive ever met. yet it has its good sides. geez. geesh, shes infected me with it. the whole sanitary health thing. thats a good reason about why im such a hygienic freak. shes a neat freak. u know some peopel share food and drinks right? ive rarely done that in my entire life. !!! its so excruciatingly sickening and disgusting; im so glad i dont do that. they say its not that harmful; what about the diseases and illnesses one could get?! mannn..... im like that man Reuben in "Along Came Polly", one of my fave movies. cept im not pickyish about everything. my brother SUCKS at choosing games. in general. Marius, his "good" buddy, went with him a few times to choose games. yesterday he got Jet Li: Rise To Honor. a one player game. i persuade him to pick the multiplayer ones all the time but he refuses. hes the most stubborn jerk ive ever met. highly stubborn, wants to get his way. but my brother, hes strange. in a totally bad and good way. hes got a heart of pure gold i mean it. he loves to help when others are in need. hes the most peopleish person ive ever known. one of the most... not THE most. must reduce judgementality. eheh... at times hes just ridiculous. and a few times i had to frickin stand up for him, at a few instances of fights. sometimes he gets picked on cause of his such good heart. hes one of those tragic but kind people in this world who sometime get taken advantage of by the wretched. im one of the wretched, but i dont like that. my brother had diabetes ever since he was about 4 or 5 years old. think of it. taking insulin shots EVERY single day. i would not stand that... damn. hes damaged parts. so am i. but we're repaired sporadically and go on living. dont we all? diabetes in case u dunno is one of the most common, serious diseases that have plagued mankind forever. diabetes is when your pancreas, an organ in ur body, does not produce enough insulin. insulin is this powerful fluid that aids in breaking down food, especially glucose(sugar) for the body. so therefore my brother in other words has a problem with food. yes. and his blood sugar rises and sometimes falls like that. its almost 100% uncontrollable. unlike "normal" people like me, dave... my brother. a little bit of irritation or wrongdoing to his diet or emotions even will crack his blood level in souped up degrees. changes changes changes. im so tired of it. he got diabetes because once again the fathomed parents didnt take care of him good enuf. he was so young he didnt know better 4 crying out loud! god dam those 2 fools. now do YOU ALL empathize with me more? when my brother was cramming all he could every moment he could handle, the parents would just ignore it or continue doing their fawking routines. i used to get sun scorched and looked at the sun bare eyed. those are some premises explaining why my eyes are so freaking reddish and destroyed. at such an earlier age, like when i was around 5. i used to use soiled hands to wipe my eyes alot, like alot for whatever reasons i had. now my eyesight is so terrible... arghhh. It's alright. they say. Don't worry. It'll all be fine... in due time... that's what they all say. will it? will the two of us bros be in better lifestyles say 10 years from now? i highly doubt it. dont you? i hope to heaven you'll all make better parents than the turds i grew up with. i worry sometimes about my teeth. do people who never wore braces; should they start wearing them? hmm. ponder ponder meander meander. they say its better. owell. life's life and all, but... some things wont be changed. _
April 19, 2004; 3:30pm, mad Monday
_u know what? it seems that the older one gets the meaner he/she is. a couple a instances that happened today. is people scared of my screwy haircut, is that IT? anyywaays... one should never judge another by looks alone. so right after school, Lorena, a junior, bounces out of nowhere near 412. i walk with her a few steps. question her, shes going home. she seemed to be maddened by my thoughts of her as being younger than junior. hrmmm... from now on im dropping my shit by Weber's room. his room is now in one of them horrible portables. weber's ok as always. hes about 53, 54, and has a head fulla white. white hair that is, u crazy thinkers! so theres 2 subs for the most important classes i had. math & english Honors. odd; i had a minimal chance of catching up on my work anyways. duffey and green werent here.... so... in third period i was laughing my head off like crazy! i swear... cheok is one hellofa sunofa funnie one when he comes to life. its probly his accent that does it all. i say, it is... unbelieveable. i laughed till tears reached the edge of my eyes. damn, DAMN! there was this one part when he was chatting about getting a ruler. cept he was saying wooler. and everyone joined in on the laughs... jeez; theres "STAR" testing this whole week tuesday to friday. starting in the beginning of 8am till who knows when, 9-11 graders gotta report to 2nd periods. and test like screwy screws. on english and math. supposed quiz on math tomorrow. i dont think i can study for it. cuz of the MANDATORY rehearsals all week!!! literally!!! (sob) well it'll all come out better; i shant worry so friggin much. it sprinkled a bit yesterday quite suddenly. when i left rehearsal; damnit, why the hell is mother nature such an a hole sometimes?! like everybody else... hash browns. alexis. hes a sophomore, filipinoish. hes a jerk, but past the whole exterior hes a kiddish person; im sick of males like him like whoa, but hes another man's man sorta fellow. he acts all machoish and cool and shizzle skittles. i havent seen him in months and i walks with him for a sec or two and i say, "hi alex." he says hey charles and some other cool ish and then he comments to his other pals about me, "he's like the best actor ever." welll.... thats a LONG story. sorta embarrassing. but im courageous and ill be honest to god, so ill tell. i had Creative Writing in the Fall term of my scheduled classes. Dan Weber was teaching the class. he's one of the most fun, laid back people ive ever met!!! `.` he reminded me of not despising all teachers. in the creative, dramatic class, it was rowdy like hell. and we had to do projects and dramatic sorta shtuff. cool ya know,but there was so little space in the room. 30 something students geez louise. so Morris N Granger, this african american dude. hes junior, and him and alexis constantly were with me and Chris Jacobs, a great friend of mine, in a 4 people group. i continuously refused to be in the group cuz it was pretty malfunctional, and i was like the only "genius" most improvisational bastard in the whole team every single time. what a hassle. so with 2 idiots and 1 alcohol drinker Chris, i had to struggle thru all the massive loads of work. back to why he compliments me randomly and with such randomness... there was this final thing we were supposed to act out in Creative Writing. morris and alex put the icing on the cake and wanted to make the act concerning a robbery of "my" liquor store. i acted out some pretty bizzare, loudmouthed, funny shit. i fell on the floor a few times, got kicked, and joked while "onstage". people were cracking up everywhere! what an accent i have when i do. damn!!! like Chris said, " you're one hellofa funny guy when u are Charles." u all bet yer asses i am._
April 20, 2004; Noon, tired Tuesday
_It was sprinkling yesterday night AND today morning!!! son of a .... good thing it was a light drizzle. what REALLY killed me was the fact that there was a blackout last night starting at 10pm which lasted till like 3am. and then electricity comes back on. for the love of GOD!!! fucking PG&E what the hell u think we're paying yer crazyasses fer? jeez... to keep situations like that from happening ever again. ive had some intense blackout situations in my lifetime, and believe me- they aint good. they never will be. i had to shower with one measly freaking candle. damn. and then i woke up at 5am to finish the English book report. Mister Styner, when i entered class yesterday, he had a frizzy, gray beard!!! odd... over the break, he explained, he didnt have hot water to shave it. haah, toooo bad... he doesnt look all that bad with it though. i often ponder whether i should grow a beard or not. and i have to fix all the machines affected by the blackout! repairman Charles. not bad. not shabby. not at all. Mister Fixit..._