September 9, 2004; 9pm, taken Thursday
_all my classes are terribly hot.... except for Music Building. well if looks like that bday phone call isnt gonna work...... but its alright- its not a major bad thing. elder cousin Jessica made some sushi for our family. it was HE!!A darn good. we dont know each other that well anymore though...... hopefully she doesnt have something against me, because we had a strange past together as relatives. jess made so many loverly recipes for our family...... im grateful. on saturday going to first Key Club volunteer service event in Alameda from 9am-5pm... might see Robo AKA Tobie again. its been almost 5 loooooong years, man. hes about an inch taller than me, still thin as a toothpick, and hasnt changed much..... maybe for the better though.
Carol: Well if only you listened to me speak, Charles.
Charles (shocked and speechless): *thinks to himself: but i DO listen to u, Carol.....* (flinch)
______________________________________________________________________________George (SLHS janitor): You're crazy, man.
Charles (a bit surprised): WHAT?!
_______________________________________________________________________________Today Notables roamed around to sing two versions of "Happy Bday" to Mr TObin and Ms Levy. Levy was crying because notables class was so loverly to come sing for her.......... touching moments, I tell you_
September 11, 2004; 10pm, sacrificing Saturday
_The hype about the whole 9-11 crisis of terror threats?! thats a buncha garbage balogna macaroni... its all cheesy. today i was the fourth earliest person who arrived for the whole volunteer thing to help give Woodstock Preschool a new, furnished look. yup... they always say doing beneficial acts for the community always contributes peace. AND feeling good....... AND I DID FEELL GREAT TODAY!!!!!!! all those lost, odd memories that swelled up inside me today during the whole time i was at the Preschool. SIgh. i remember how fun it was... doing all that crap... i almost got TOO obsessed w/ a basketball court when i got in the mood of playing basketball there. I cant shoot for ****. but everything else excluding rebounding is GREAT for me, so BE scared... ! Ed, Andy, Tammy (andy's sis), Alison, Johnny, Pat, Tim, Laura, and.... hmmmmm i even met up with Tobie for a while until that lazy bum left early. those were the only people i recognized and vice versa. tobie hasnt changed very much if at all.... its sorta quirky that i changed so much in the 7 yrs difference when me and Tobie never saw each other anymore. tobie's still the critical, never sleeping, always sadistically joking fellow i knew him as in middle school in OAkland..... where we went to together. there was a whole ton of ice cream, bagels, pizza, juice, noodles, rice, and water to stuff more than the huge crowd that arrived at the PReschool. damn.. what a day... i was gardening alot, and man that worked my upper body alot. ; - \ i got a few cramps in my legs... always my legs, jeez. im about to hit the hay soon, mind u... im becoming a bit too erratic after doing research about Academy Of Art UV... i found out it wasn't as FAWKING prestigous as it appealed to me in the first place. such delirious confusion swept me in that moment... owell- there's always those ugly CSUs i can attend. screw it all...... one of these days, in a nearby time, im most likely gonna post some loverly poems up in the survey link. philosophical and random things are there always. there was a somewhat dark, sudden conversation between Andy Ng and I today while i was gardening the dirt for some flowers to put in.
Charles: This is like digging graves and burying people.
Andy (while watching nearby and observing how i shovel): It looks like you're burying Annie.
Charles (HUGE pause w/ a mix of startled expression): How can you say THAT?!?! WHY did you have to say I'm burying Annie anyway?!
Andy: Calm down man... she was just the first person that popped into my head.
Charles: Besides... if i really WAS burying her, i'd kill myself right after i was done.
Andy: I'd actually like to see you do that.
_____________________________________________________________________________Andy: You're hella weird, man.
Charles:.....
_____________________________________________________________________________
ANd then YESTERDAY, an even worse, more embarassing conversation occurred...
Rachelle Hill: Do you have a girlfriend, Charles?
Charles: (*thinking* WTH?!!?! damn...... after about a whole 5 secs of flinching and grimacing, i answer) no, but i used to...
Rachelle: You did? Did she go to this school?
Charles: (big shrug and half lying) yeah...... (whispering) sorta...
Rachelle: Really? What was her name? (leans toward me a bit more)
Charles (really spooked): mmmm i- i- i cant tell u that...
Rachelle: what happened to her?
Charles: *damnit charles u idiot why'd u have to complicate a normal conversation yet AGAIN?!*....... (Charles shakes his head fervently and turns away in a clearly depressed state) it's.... it's just ...... NVM....
_____________________________________________________________________________
last but not least, the worst, most fearful one of them all...
Samantha: vote for John Kerry, Charles.
Charles: (thinking to himself): no way... i dont care whatever anyone says about voting anymore- im not voting... besides, these politicians are all punks
_____________________________________________________________________________
Im getting so annoyed by mockers and mimics and dopplegangers and copycatters..... all those imitations of me, me, here and THERE and everywhere!!! WHY??!!! geeez.... in all of the world as of now, im 99% sure im the only guy who's so outspoken and so deep in unclogging his soul online... and suddenly i find out Stellar's sorta doing the SAME darn thing. its not bad actually.... im coercing many, many people who have online journals to say more outta their soul... but i find out Pinkyswear and ANDY are doing the same thing-they are speaking a whole ton of themselves.... now if only everyone would say as much as me and do that more often. haha, you'd wish. because im cool. as stellar says... ive been told that im cool by several people in my life... but unique fits me much better. "Unique is that word that fits me like a snug pair of boxers." heres a part of an interesting, touching conversation between Stellar and i.
BATHTIME fun4all: lol
dontwurri: imitations of me everywhere i am.....
dontwurri: dopplegangers, i must say
BATHTIME fun4all: well..charles IS very cool
dontwurri: would u care for a bit of tea?
dontwurri: i ammm
dontwurri: *_* (half smile)
_____________________________________________________________________________
and then heres something that Ed said today...... it was comical, just purely comical! ~,~
Edward: I've got places to go, people to do, things to see.
[LAUGHTER]
Edward (half laughing himself): I meant things to do and people to see.
____________________________________________________________________________
Haha... HAH... well now that my soul feels waaaaaay less weighted, im about to hit the hay. YOU all should too._
September 12, 2004; 5:30pm, sumptuous Sunday
_i go haywire when something bad happens to my valuables... ive experienced too many moments where my possessions have gotten lost or destroyed or something else. I also think it's hella ridiculous to mixup people's clothes.. this isn't alphabet soup; it can turn out to be a delicate but dangerous matter. AND for those of you who keep procrastinating against the finest weather on earth in the Bay Area... just stop. Its just too *** of those FOBs who always say crap about weather.... the weather's gradually returning to it's average, and as of now.... its pretty cool. Gloomy w/o much sun, but definitely my style... ohhhhyeah...... AND the bday presents for Pinkyswear??? the bag that the presents are in has more room left than..... than i thought. But dont worry. There's really a lottta sweets in there. Trust me...... stellar? Ill need her help...... MIGHT call her...... but i dont resort to calling people much since it's quite troublesome sometimes. I FIGURED out yesterday how to retain my sweats that constantly drop!!!!!! YAY i just need to notch up my belt really tight... so from now on ill have to use belts for almost all pants i wear. I still remember when i was younger and not as old as now... before 16, i never even pondered about using belts. My pants were never as i dunno.... dragging and such as the ones i wear now.... but i guess the clothes i wear are bigger and more comfy. Which is waaaaaaay better because tighter fitting clothing is usually just for extreme exercise. Next up? pics of me from yesterday's LOVERLY participation in peace promotion... WOOT!!! if u look closely enough, you can see me on the far left w/ black hair, a white shirt, and... im standing next to a dude in green shirt.
_
September 13, 2004; 6:30pm, made Monday
_HAPPY SWEET SIXTEENTH BDAY ANNIE CHEONG!!! hahahahhahaha...... i have become so inaccurate in keeping track of people's bdays... and other than me??? Pinkyswear's the only person other than me who ive ever pronounced a bday shout out to. well... it's time to bounce onto different news of the day- Stellar DID meet me in cafeteria, but SHE was late instead of me today morning... i almost left!!! which most likely wouldve ruined the whole delivery present express thing hardy har harrr. but it's all still good, stellar stellar. i have things to tell u soon. really, i do. ok let's see........ HRMMMM... today i received the Advanced Algebra group quiz back in Miz Foster's room... AND no one in the 4 person group wanted to keep it... so i did. last friday the four of us collaberated (some of us cooperated more than others) on the group quiz, so thats the reason why im keeping it. besides, Monte Carlo Rodriguez, Rachelle Hill, Charles Fang, AND Chris Ha? our names are all..... Carlo, Hill, Fang, Ha. hiiiiiiiilarious, see!!!! its just such a rare commodity... teamwork, that is. and these people are pretty decent. but they curse much more perverse than i do. im gonna see if i can get the Yearbook early reservation form in to reserve my Yearbook for 2005, baby!!!! BOOYAH. my hair's back to its RED HOT SAUUUUCE STATE, So watch the **** out!!!!! hmnmm... thinking back to the months of April and/or May, i remember Lorena & Daniel gossiping some ridiculously odd secrets about me... i MIGHT be wrong, but i SHALL get to the bottom of this dreaded business. I SHALL AND WILL!!! torey oh, good pros!!! my lifetime knack of elite studying and research has benefited me a billion fold in billions of moments and experiences... especially when i find this article about braces. "It is not the case that if you don't have braces doom and gloom will follow you forever," says John Phillips, DMD, an orthodontist in private practice in Hoover, Alabama. but enuf of that. screw braces, really. HAPPY SWEET SIXTEENTH BDAY ANNIE CHEONG!!! MUCH LOVE to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_
September 14, 2004; 6:30pm, tango Tuesday
_WTFING MUTHA FREAKING HELL?! Man, i really gotta appreciate all that hate and bc and bs this jacked up family emits... and about 90% of the time, it's to me. I know why- they don't understand me all that well and my way of doing fucking shit is FINE BY ME; i aint ever bowed down to this gay ass family, i friggin aint bout to start until they put flowers on my chest. Besides, as stellar told me... "Charles is charles." Styner's room as open and back up for people to use, which is great. Im joining another odd community service helping club called Octagon. Instead of knowing squares in a club, i get to know 8 sided polygons. Wow, how exciting. =- D kidding, kidding, u all should know i friggin am. I still have to thank this class 1 a hole of a family because they repeatedly remind me to hate them. How wonderful i am to not have any worry whatsoever about any of my friggin relatives... well here are some loverly conversations yet again from the past- today. "Life is getting to be sucha drag."
Charles (turned to the right while practicing a song in Notables and looking at the song sheet): (Charles spits a small drop of saliva while singing, which is a rare instance... BELIEVE ME!)
Laura (watching me for a few seconds): Ewww... you just spit.
Charles *quickly turns around to face her while his face twitches*: You... you.. but it's just a normal thing!!! besides i don't always spit... it's a severely rare case.
Laura *seemingly still disgusted*: Still... you spit...
Charles: WHAT!!! but i didn't spit at anyone.... it just dropped on the floor.. jeez...
Samantha (who at this point is probably eavesdropping on the whole conversation since she sits near Laura and I): You do spit, Charles. *she quickly turns away as i stare at the two of them and think wth?!*
Laura: See?
________________________________________________________________________
Charles: I used to drink a lotta booze... but then she came along and i stopped.
Chris: Does that explain why you act hella retarded sometimes?
Charles (serious tone): Probably... *silence*
________________________________________________________________________
Tom: Shit's always happening.
________________________________________________________________________
Rick Styner: Time is always slipping away from you.
Charles: *speechlessly stares on*
Rick Styner (after a moment's pause): When you get older, you'll see that life's all about finding out about things.
Charles: life's so unpredictable...
________________________________________________________________________ (this is another one of those brash, senseless conversations with my stupid bro)
Dave: You got such bad grades how can you love music?
Charles: Music and class grades barely have any connection.
Dave: If you get good grades you can do better in music.
Charles: Man you're stupid.
_____________________________________________________________________________
well doc, that's all, folks!!! *bites a piece of carrot*_
September 15, 2004; 5pm, what Wednesday
_OK, OK. In morning Gerald influenced me to join Drama Club. Seems fun enough... so yeah. it meets on fridays at lunch. Much thanks to Angela DeClaro in 3rd Period about reminding me to goto 7pm meeting for the musical at M1 tomorrow. CHARLES, LISTEN MORE CAREFULLY TO THE ****ing announcements next time!!! about to fix the Lexmark printer so it'll print and copy properly. got some quirky advice from mister styner... so ima try it in a few moments.
Gerald: I'm a fashion statement. (looks at his spiffy, colorful clothing)
Charles: I know... (looks at Gerald's shirt for awhile and notices the brilliance and vibrance it projected). Man you have style and fashion. Me, I'm plain and simple.
____________________________________________________________________________
Gerald: I can never find you cause you're always moving.
Charles: (how true.... it's like i'm always in constant motion)
____________________________________________________________________________
7:30pm;
Gerald: I'm like a magnet for strange people.
___________________________________________________________________________
Miz Duffey: Yes, that's right. It's good. Meaninglessness, not meaningless.
Charles: (looks at his thesis he wrote and thinks YESSSSSSSS i really DO have some skills in essay writing! NOW what, duffdizzle?! HUH?! HUH?! muahahahah, ok im going crazy now so ill stop thinking to myself). im going to the next event which is....
Saturday, SPRUCE UP FOR KIDS 2004 PART 2
FRUITVALE ELEMENTARY
3200 Boston Ave, Oakland, CA 94602
9am-5pm... sponsored by Key Club
Im ready for another horrifyingly killer day of physical labor. woot.... goooo Key Club!!!_ September 16, 2004; 11pm, TENSE Thursday _Every summer we could rent a cottage in the isle of Wight, if it's not too dear....!! those are the lyrics to one of the songs loverly Notables is performing!!!!!! ahhhhh that class really relieves me...... DAMN. so todddddaaaaay was a really mishappen, paranoid, erratic day. i attended the 7pm meeting to speak about the Cabaret and the Musical... cabaret this year. musical next year. Stacy Ardelean was there and so was Samantha, Laura, Beatrice, Collin, Duy, Alison, Amanda, Shirley, Zoe, Melissa, Lorena, Danielle, and hmm..... a few supporting parents who, obviously, were supportive enough to attend. or for SOME reason. i spent alotta my day at school today and man oh man i learn ..... The STYNERS. they ARE the shiznit: they conversed w/ me about life and A WHOLE LOTTA supeeeeeer duper wise conversations. mister styner told me about the house he bought in san leandro, which was built in 1914. a whole lotta tiredness and exhaustion is beginning to show on his weary self. him and miz styner, his wife... they get me thinking a whole lot. They're a WONDERFUL couple... mister styner even told me his real name was Richard. some people called him Rich and eventually people began getting used to his highly common nickname, Rick. i stayed in 412 for about 4 hrs until the 7pm meeting- his former computer lab for 7 years..... Rick told me they met because miz styner was across the hall from where he taught. he said that he never knew his perfect someone would be like that... geezes mister styner, i have SYMPATHY for u!!! u rock!!!!! his wife taught for 7 years there too... she specializes in business academies and preparing people for businesses. styner teaches more of sciences .... and computer science as well. Tomorrow i have to remember to go to the Drama CLub that meets at Miz Ruszel's room at lunch. Gerald's in it... maybe some other people i know too. isnt is me, or is it true that Samantha is turning into .... a butterfly? she seems more magnetic as time progresses. sooo.... wonderfully enjoyable to watch. and yes, long hair is almost the most attractive feature in general attraction- i find it is so. LONG HAIR is the main thing that makes me.... SEXY. oooooooooooooooo hahhaha i finally said that word. anyway at the meeting, random people commented on which musicals we should do and such and such. i found out finally that the musical is STILL undecided. comon peoples... "Hesitation clamps life." hasnt anyone heard?? so i get home and i find out... there are SBC bills showing that we have to pay about $300?! i almost completely freaked out right there.... cause mother DID. i get to the bottom of the whole complicated issue and find out Tom messed it all up.... im...... im so sorry... i shoulve quadruple checked the connection properties. but tom and i didnt know that he didnt change everything back to local 510 so our phone bill wouldnt be so damned expensive. its alright..... mistakes.... happen..... it's life. "You live, you learn, right?" THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH for helping me pay for the whole amount which is.... $500!!!!!!!!! Tom is the best..... i did so darn miserably in a Notables test review... i got a lot wrong. im zoning out... sometimes; but im so sure i performed remarkably well in the AP English 40 minute Timed Writing Essay today!!!!! its true what they say- if ur interested, u obviously do better. Rick: I must've been pretty desperate... (talking about why he loved miz styner and how she was the perfect one)
Charles (really touched by his speech about her): DON'T SAY THAT!!! You know what they say- "In love, there are no regrets."
____________________________________________________________________________
then theres this unbelieveably interesting one!!! u can even ask her about it!!! i think i HELLA freaked her out in notables when i spoke to her about this...
Charles: Samantha... what's your middle name?
Samantha: *watches me speechlessly*
Charles: Your middle name's Nicole, right?
Samantha (totally freaked out and confused and even frightened): (widened eyes) [Man she's got loverly eyes...] How did you know, Charles?????????!!!!!!! yeah it is.
Charles: Nicole... haha *grin* i knew it!!! i know things about people (all confident like expression) [man u shouldve seen me]
Samantha: Who told you?! You... (wags finger a bit... Charles thinks she was gonna say i was sortof a stalker or something, but i DONT stalk! at least not her... HAHAHA)
_____________________________________________________________________________
Miz Styner: "That's the way things go."
____________________________________________________________________________
conversation yesterday in notables:
Daniel: Hey Charles, Anthony (Vega) wants to know how you are.
Charles: What?? Anthony??? He still remembers me?!
Samantha: Haha that's funny, Charles. (I miss Anthony... i really do... he was a wonderful person whom taught me so many lessons in life in the 6 months i knew him)
September 17, 2004; 6:30pm, feared Friday _"Things always manage to get worse with me around." I've been in that cliche; i've been carrying that motto around for my whole FRIGGIN life, u know??? people who've aided me somehow in life and people who've done the opposite... NO MATTER what, whoever is involved w/ me and SOMETIMES even people with no relation to me at all get drawn into my devastating life. im like one of those gigantic, supermassive black holes... cept i struggle to be pacifistic and passively peaceful. ALSO, LAURA, I ******* cant believe u dont know my full name!!! man... some things these days.... out of ur mind... Laura: Hey Charles, what's your last name?
Charles: What...?!? I thought you knew... it's Fang.
Samantha (affirming it...): Charles's last name if Fang. F-A-N-G.
Charles (totally grimacing and half convulsing and covering his head w/ a sheet of paper) *sometimes these gals kill me... they really DO*
___________________________________________________________________________
8:30pm; Fortune telling?! that's a buncha BULL ISH... when i was a toddler, my parents brought me to a fortune teller to ask them about my "fate". the fortune teller punk, as fake as he/she was, said i'd become a wretched, volatile troublemaker.
Debbie Susan Young (shuffling a card deck): OK, who wants their fortune told? (looks around at the table where i was also sitting at) OK, how about Charles? I'm going to tell your fortune about someone you like. Tell me the number of letters of the person you like and I'll reveal your current relationship with her.
Charles (super freaking out): WHAT?!!!!!?!!!!!!!!!! me?! WHY me?! can't u pick someone else?!
Debbie: (totally ignoring my pleas of oppression) Well how many letters?
Charles: (ponders for a bit and then thinks of Samantha... Charles embarrasingly, fearfully, and crazily blurts out) Sixteen.
Debbie (after a while of shuffling...): Well (points to a black colored King) this is you. (points to a black colored heart on my left) that's your heart. and this red heart is the heart of the girl you like (the red heart of the girl i like is to the left of my black heart of mine). This is the girl you like (the red Queen all the way to my right... the red Queen was on the other side of a number four card). (a red heart, a black heart, a black King, a number four, and the red Queen.. that was the order she got the cards out in the end to reveal my relationship fortune).
Charles: (totally turning away and shifting in his chair and making overwhelming facial expressions at the cards and what Debbie is saying)
Debbie (continues and says something like): Well there's something (the four represents that I don't have that deep of feelings for the girl) here that's between you and the girl u like. But her heart is right next to yours, so that shows she likes you alot.. both of you may be friends, but you don't want to be MORE than friends. Am i right? a lot of people say it's true...
Charles (ridiculously reluctant): Yeahh... i regret admitting this, but ..... it's true.. it's pretty true... ARGHHHHHH!!!_ September 18, 2004; 10pm, sturdy Saturday _So todaaaay i went to Key Club and Octagon event at Fruitvale Elementary... which turned out to be a particularly huge campus containing a grassy field, blacktop, 2nd floor, mini preschool, downstairs cafeteria... and thats that. i got to the place earlier than expected times... i got there at 8:30am like last time. im SO SURE im gonna be getting Member Of Month Award. i TELL everyone i dont go out w/o a bang or plural.... HAHHA.... hmmmm got some reaaaly terrible bruises aka cuts on my left hand... it sorta stings a bit and hurts. MOSTLY due to friggin ANdy Ng, that obsessed Key Clubber who is NOT a very careful person. man some people are gonna end up dying and im gonna know them and i wont even give a freak. srry... my apologies... but i DID feel sooooooo loved........ ^^_____________^^ especially since Stella and Annie hugged me... simultaneously. sure, girls have hugged me all at once before... but never in such a loving way..... the two of them hugged my back annd ...... if I hugged them back in public (which i didnt), id surely be feeling a lotta dread. Im sorry... so sorry... ONE OF THESE days like i promised, ill help them w/ the massage... gotta know the correct pressure points. AND ill try to hug them back. *tears*... actually i feel like i do have to cry... but i wont. i have to rest... aka sleep... annie's such a huggable person and Stella's so darn loverly as well...!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhh im being a bit too dramatically emotional. i painted, swept, hung out, spoke w/ a bunch of people, and..... hmmmm, lets see now. Pulled weeds, carried heavy loads of garbage, picked up trash.... of course, there were bagels, fried rice, chow mien, and pizza and drinks provided so no volunteers should starve or w/e. "I FEEL SO LOVEEERLLLY DOVVVERLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MMMMM...
LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE. Andy, Stella, Annie all keep saying im weird/odd/strange. i cant help it... its natural and totally abnormal at the same time. the 3 also keep saying im funny..... silly Charles... stuff like that.... but i;d also love to add THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!!! THANK U ALL SOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (BIG HUG!!!!)_ September 19, 2004; 12:30pm, steady Sunday _This morning i heard rain outside, pitter pattering rhytmically against the dry concrete... against my window, and on the roof. it felt really odd... to hear and see heavy rain after about 4 months of no rain. owell.. rain has returned... OR IS THIS REALLY The sky crying? i wrote a poem called "The Sky Is Crying Tonight." The only person that ever really slapped me was Annie. Yesterday was at least the 2nd time she slapped me. they're not *SLAP* slaps, but they're playful, light handed ones... i dont feel like im gonna inquire her about why she did that cuz i heard b4 that "One shouldn't ask a question that he/she doesn't want the answer to." im gonna eat... AND ANNIE JUST MADE YET ANOTHER WEBSITE. how many has she created in her whole lifetime???? they're all journals.... she made about 5 total webpages already. anyway i dont remember things visually, especially w/ photos. i remember them due to the fascinating, unencumbered, gargantuan mass of words i utilize to aid in my reminiscence. cherrio, good sports. im out. for now._ September 20, 2004; 11pm, mild Monday _The first time a real life politican realistically in person came up within my presence was today. this dude was trying to persuade father to freaking vote for him ... i heard he was democrat. wow. im so sick of politicans. hah... Something Edward Tran said today (a very leader like person)... he said "The only possible answer left is to WORD HARDER." that, super courage + confidence, willingness to try things and make mistakes are the essential formula that result in magnificent leaders. besides, ed. youve got a natural height advantage, which is more loverly for leaders. *)*
I ************ LOVE MY PALS!!!!! especially stellar..... she let me borrow one of her music CDs to listen to. =- | at first it was comical. then as it progressed.... i ALMOST LAFFED THE LIVING BOXERS OFF MY WAISTLINE!!!!!!!! my sincere apologies, Stellar!!!!!!!!!! i dont laff in a menacing way but it was just too hilariously funny when i heard some of the music... but they say the sound of music one listens to tends to reveal gateways to one's soul. ^___^ ohyeah yesterday at around 10 something pm, father got into a severe car crash accident. guess what? after the growing number of accidents caused by HIM alone lately, the one that occurred yesterday was the most explosive one and he was NOT at fault this time. this other vehicle crashed into his van somehow and that collision, i heard, was fatal!!! but he took today off from work and hes still looking same as always.... the "pretty boy". i really wonder alot about his friggin looks. sure, he's dry... sleeps little... and somehow A MINUTE number of people like him have loverly physical attributes. he doenst need to shave ish cept for that stubble growing around his face. some people continue to amaze me... no rain today. WOOT... but sun. blehhh..._ September 21, 2004; 6pm, terror Tuesday _Yes. at times i feel trapped, totally along... imprisoned; w/e anyone wants to label it. HOWEVER, everyone should just BACK OFF cuz im HEADSTRONG and ill take you all on at once. AHRHAHRARHARDY HAR HARRR... i dada da da dare ANYONE. pfft... Charles: Charles(Charlie) Chaplin is my great great great great (keeps repeating 'great') grandfather.
Samantha: (to the teacher, Mister Glover)Charles said he was his relative. (at this point people slowly turn to me and i my right hand slowly rises to cover my head as i sulk down... it was a joke, SAMANTHA!)_ September 22, 2004; 7pm, wrecked Wednesday _
Charles: I'm too lazy.
Rachelle: (enthusiastic tone) Don't be lazy!
So lets see. today i used BART (Bay Area Rapid Transportation) to get around the Bay but specifically to get to Frisco to find out where AAU (Academy Of Art University) was. It was basically a huge building w/ many floors. i couldnt get past the lady at the front desk cuz nowadays people want ur picture ID for every little piece of crud. but hey, AAU has about an 80% job rate for graduates, which is decent enuf for me. im going to eat now. laaaaater....._ September 23, 2004; 8pm, tied Thursday _This Sunday, hosted aka sponsored by at least Octagon & Key Club: Jefferson Preschool Spruce Up, located in Oakland, 1975 40th St. So news is out that more than public residents of SL are against the crematorium of burning bodies... =_+ one of San Leandro's council members is strongly opposing it as well!!!!! BOOYAHHH!!! Cooperation exists--> and when utilized correctly, it can be unstoppably devastating!!!!!!_ September 24, 2004; 7pm, frolicking Friday _KEY CLUB & OCTAGON hosting:
Sunday
Jefferson Preschool Spruce Up
1975 40th St/Ave
9am-5pm...
after school i met up with stellar and since i didnt have any ride after school i walked around the school w/ her for a looooong while of about 45 mins cuz she had to wait for Rocco. Meanwhile, i was feeling so darn impatient.... sick of waiting... but STILL. Stellar finally said she had enuf (she was angered), so for the first time in my senior year of SLHS =_= i strided with an astounding friend to the SL Main Library. There we met Rocco, who complained that he was angered about stellar's punctuality. Stellar's the irritated one at the moment and ROCCO PEREZ, a more than "great" pal of Stellar's, begins saying ISH to her about HIS ish?!!!?? wtf dude. Stellar even told me rocco was supposed to get over to SLHS and walk with stellar to the library or something at around 3:20pm. COMON man.... be the person u should be (or shouldnt be), Rocco. Man. Mexicans these days. Friggin wetbacks nearly all of em... i mean look what happened between Pinkyswear and that other punk named whats his face.... Adrian; another mexican. Guys are really the bastardly gender ever since the time they were created. Im so through with all these past relationship issues; even worse are the present relationship problems. The gals should just break up if they're the ones on the worse end of the love. Ohyeah. Annie knows Stellar's secret of her relationship w/ Rocco. And u know what? Stellar told me it's a serious one. C'mon!!!!!!!! dam....... another rare, good one. such happiness. It seems so fake and bs to me though. HAH. I knew the secret from stellar's hints b4 she even told me who she loved- i answered Rocco. And i was right. And she said she cant tell me who else knew from SLHS... i knew. It was mayela and Annie. Man i know HELLA ISH! Comon...... what am i, some machine?! Man i know hella crap. Screw me. SCREW me.
i feel pretty terrible since im semi sick... if that's even possible. I think my sickness is due to Stellar's food... im a little unsure... i ate about 4 carrot sticks of hers yesterday in 3rd period and ever since yesterday night, my sore throat has been slowly elevating in pain; its dry- my mouth is salivating like crazy... i have a mild headache, my nostrils are full of warm gush and my nose was runnin all day in 4th period psychology. I cracked a lame joke (can i use the bathroom Mis Levy cuz i gotta make my bladder gladder) and she instantly began CRACKING UP!!!!!!!!!! WHOA there... what laffs she produces sometimes... its almost earthshaking... today was a brilliantly wonderful day. In the morning I was greeted by six different poems by six different people... i like Max's poem the most since he had perpetuously bizarre, but SUCH PASSIONATE, affectionate descriptive words in it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! mannnnn... everyone began contemplating whether he liked Autumn, the girl he wrote about. The title was September 21 which also meant the beginning of autumn season. MAN OH MAN i can still remember the reactions EVERYONE gave in 1st period..... oh man..... Max dude, u made me feel like someone i finally know is equal to my poetic powers; how loverly that poem was!!!!!!! OH DAMN I LOVED THE metaphor of midnight hair...!!! it consisted of the following: Her face framed by her midnight hair
I drive my gaze over to Autumn (i forgot her last name), already blushing
well in pscyhe everyone seemed to have a decent time revealing an ultimate personal desire and letting Miz Levy analyze everything. U KNOW WHAT?! Dang she's hecka over critical.... but then again you'll find no one else like me.... HEY, HERE's a laughable analysis of love and all- at least everyone else HAS a (pathetic) relationship. Me? No matter WHAT happens/happened in my ridiculously, outrageously absurd life, im always the one to gallop away alone. Loneliness has been following my ass around so long it's become virtual friends w/ me, hasnt it? U know WHY exaclty does everyone have relationships w/ everyone else but not ME?!!!??!?! im totally fit for all that friggin love; i pull my perspectives outta first person and if i wasnt me, id hug me too. The major topic is COURAGE/confidence. Sure, i AM an unparalled FEARLESS idiot in the universe, but when it boils down to gals... especially gals... man i freak out. Its one of my ever long fears....... which is only for the ones that like/love me and vice versa. U can be stupid and all that imprudent buncha CRAP in relationships and closeness, but still... the BIG thing is that everyone who's in "love" or love love actually has no DEMENTED FEAR or they're either brave beyond belief or even BOTH. MAN im cursed....... arhhhhhhhhhhhhgggggggghhhhhhhhh my sore throat hurts... i feel so sleepy because im sick... when ur ill, illness WILL get u. Well maybe there are exceptions, but still... for me at least it's horrendous. I hope to get some more sleep over the weekend. Pray me a magnificent sleep... Annie kept walking after me for a hug after school... i tried to walk away from her, but she caught up. and it was HUG TIME AGAIN!!!!!!!! mmmm..... stellar hugged me too... but but..... im not some rejected PIMP! in fact im opposed to that. i got so scared of Pinkyswear i even half stepped on her foot... DAMN im a blundering mofo!!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.... i feel to head ache....... (sob sob sob sobssss). other than that im pretty content for today- even IF stellar is still a little sick... but friends empower me!! 8pm; ok ok ... so lets see.... i still hate my brother >=-\. vice versa is true. wow. SOMEBODY shoot me in the arse._ 10pm; WHOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA my sickness even got to Deb a bit. i saw Debbie rubbing her nose w/ a tissue after some time when i had a runny nose.. i sit right across from her. and i thought, "Charles u lame O, when ur sick, u really CAN infect the whole friggin precinct. "A friend is someone who knows all about you but is still your friend anyway." Currently repeating mentally: OK Go- Get Over It._ September 25, 2004; 3:30pm, sickening Saturday _yeah. Ray Charles's bday was two days ago. I want to praise him for his commendable music which is still alive today. hmmmm. im not gonna get Member Of The Month Award for quite awhile... so long as Tammy Ng, that obsessive key clubber's sis keeps up her punctuality. owell. im sure im second place for the award... but until october's AAU classes are over, then im just laid back. OR i can find another alternative like I ALWAYS do in life... maybe i should persuade Ed to change all events in october to sundays instead of saturdays. BOOYAH. OH NO. after that stinking AIM update yesterday night, my AIM cant even go on for some dastardly reason(s)... i might have to go thru the process of reinstalling it all again...... ARGH. I HOPE u readers who are reading this aren't sick. many, many people are... tis the season to be SICK._ September 26, 2004; 8:30pm, stubborn and stingy Sunday yeah. Looks like my AIM AND FAWKING LEXMARK PRINTER aint ever gonna work again. Beloved, belittled me. Boohhooo; i tried a ton of alternatives to fix both and i think ill keep trying even if im not a determined, motivated person (I NEVER was). its just that w/o these two lame pieces of indifferent humans (metaphorically speaking for machines) my life would be slashed considerably... technology's so GAY........ owelllll.... went to Jefferson Preschool volunteer today. Pinkyswear and Andy were there ridiculously early today...... ODD.. at least Tammy wasnt there early AGAIN. I was 3rd earliest. Man im getting third so often for SLHS clubs; HAH.... so i just finished reading a buncha crap. I think reading can make ur eyes worse.... or almost any sort. Or am i just reading in a bad position? I finished reading a buncha life stories- xangas, livejournals, and the whole like. THREE WORDS IN SUMMATION FROM WHAT IVE LEARNED FROM EVERYONE'S DIARIES: "LIFE IS ABSURD." say it with me... LIFE IS ABSURD!!!! after reading a whole buncha other info from articles and bs, i still feel a bit groovy. My cough and cold and all those little flu viruses seem to have become suppressed. Those SUPER STRENGTH tylenol pills i reluctantly took yesterday night and early morning today mustve really helped... but i felt hazily zoned out. AND i felt HELLA FREAKING dizzyish. And mild headaches persist. OVERALL my health has improved by fascinating standards... such misuse of language, ehhh? I read on a buncha journals that people sleep ********* late!!!!!!!!!!! at AM times... like 1, 2, 3, or even 4 AM!!!! what sorta sleep do u get?! Sure, dearths of sleep don't cause any sudden problems, but that can really set ANYONE up for a potential host of severe issues. AND man, i aint dying at 40 w/ some cancer or a debilitating, strickeningly painful disease!!!!!!! well. The back of my head hurts most... and feels light headed like a balloon. Claude and Eric, two guys w/ white hair? Today those two sages taught me HELLLA MOFOING crud about life. They said hella shizzles. And they were pretty jolly and helpful at Jefferson Preschool (damn that school's small). Pinkyswear's hugging... and smiles broughtt me up enuf.... but Claude (who seemed to always be grinning), really turned my mood into OVERDRIVE optimism!!!!!! Claude: (when preparing to drive me home) I remember all the times I needed a ride.
Claude: When you get older, you'll learn a lot of tricks in life.
Claude: Creative thinking. Think outside the box.
Claude: (the end) Good luck for your future. Don't be afraid of the world.
something like that. wonderful people in life. mustnt forget em. at least SHOULDNT forget em. Bye byyyyyye!!!!!!! ^____^_ September 27, 2004; 8pm, mixed Monday _Samantha: Are you sick, Charles?
Charles: *reluctantly* Yeah... but I'll try not to infect you.
Samantha: That's nice of you.
Everybody's so sick. it's melancholy. but the weather (cackles menacingly) fits my snugly like a warm pair of boxers =- D._ September 28, 2004; 5pm, TERRIFYINGLY TERRIBLE Tuesday _Yeeeeeeeeehhhhhhha im ona ride to hell... and u know what they say. "When you're already in hell, keep going." i forget Stellar's freaking locker combo yesterday. and jason, my parent's extremely good computer expert friend, might come over next week to check my printer. id say its a waste of time and i doubt he'll be able to fix it. but if he can, it'll be one of those little life moments where im grateful. im a damned mess. i try ridiculously hard, struggling everyday to pretend im a sociable bastard and a neat idiot, but all the while im really screwy myself... so dont ask me if i love them. or love HER either. i gotta organize myself and tidy myself up. FUCK U CHARLES. I HATE U. ive always hated Charles. always. and probably forever. SHIT. i dont hate him just for his infinite amount of horribly suppressed viciousness deep within... but for thousands of other things too. parents continue to trouble EVERYONE within their fawking vicinity with their pathetic problems. ohyeah i did something i didnt do in a looooong time... i took a short nap... a little less than an hour sorta nap. on a comfy, black couch. Laura: (admiring my drawing of a smirking sun with shades on and the rainy clouds combined with the background of many birds) That's romantic.
Charles: (still a little woozy from his illness and medicine he took earlier) What...??? That's romantic? (hmmmmmmm)
"dear" mother made a compelling argument just now with "good" father. she said some ish about people not helping u at all if ur screwed. they'll help when u got pockets fulla moolah though. its a depressing world full of punks out there. there are so many immoral people... even worse, this world has EVIL jackasses. but dont let my bad stuffs get u down. geez.. i just called Stellar's cell and she's not there. NOW how the FOOZE am i gonna open the locker and get some stuff?! 8pm; Andy Ng, loverly pal of Stellar's, how in HEAVEN do you have the right to know Stellar's combo?! Is that right? Well it sure doesn't seem WRONG... ok ok... i asked him on AIM Express and he told me. now i know. AHhhh that's muchhhhh better... now i can get back my stuff. hardy har. 9:30pm; OK GO, get over IT!!! i just remembered something inspiring... when Miz Duffey said "We need a strong and dynamic reader." people at different intervals instantly shouted out "Charles". "yeah, charles!" man... just because i was onstage and im so sociably personable... DAMN. talk about fame... but just when i was about to agree and read for the sake of stopping everyone from shouting my name since i was so "popular" at the moment, Miz Duffey suppressed everyone's yells and wanted other volunteers. i think she knew i still had a sore throat. owell. tomorrow there's a Cabaret Practice at around 7pm. im attending it to practice some musical numbers to perform at the real Cabaret night... in a couple of weeks. 10pm; HOLY SHIT mother just told me the accident my father was in last week? the idiot that pulverized his van? that idiot driver got killed in the severe crash... what a predicament... how's everything gonna happen now??? he indirectly caused someone's death... while he walked away w/o a scratch. and WHO says being too careful is cowardly? (sob)... life. its so.. no no no i gotta remember to smile. SMILE._ September 29, 2004; 5:30pm, what a Wednesday _OK. im in styner's comp lab. by myself again ever since 5pm.... till around 6:30pm and i goto Cabaret Practice aka meeting... w/e. Tom's coming to my house on Sunday to help fix that garbage Lexmark printer i still cant fix. its quite peaceful and calm.. i can sing to myself almost as loud as i want... w/o anyone complaining or being disturbed or however my singing affects them in "bad" ways. Styner put me in charge of the comp lab. i know. i know. i DO display leadership roles and qualities, but my general nature isn't that of leaders. deep down inside me, i can be President Bush and Ghandhi put together. bah, w/e. i got loads of work. i think i have to do my laundry at home. and there's gonna be bad luck #13 link cuz this page is too crowded already. buhhhh bye!_