Top 10 Reasons Trick or Treating is better than Sex

10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
 9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
 8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
 7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave you candy.
 6. Person giving you candy doesn't fantasize you're someone else.
 5. If you get a stomach ache, it won't last 9 months.
 4. If you wear your Batman mask, no one thinks you're kinky.
 3. Doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
 2. Less guilt the next morning.

 and, the #1 reason trick or treating is better than sex...

1. IF YOU DON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT, YOU CAN ALWAYS GO NEXT DOOR!

        When you rearrange the letters:

         Dormitory                     Dirty Room

         Evangelist                    Evil's Agent

         Desperation                   A Rope Ends It

         The Morse Code                Here Come Dots

         Slot Machines                 Cash Lost in 'em

         Animosity                     Is No Amity

         Mother-in-law                 Woman Hitler

         Snooze Alarms                 Alas! No More Z's

         Alec Guinness                 Genuine Class

         Semolina                      Is No Meal

         The Public Art Galleries      Large Picture Halls, I Bet

         A Decimal Point               I'm a Dot in Place

         The Earthquakes               That Queer Shake

         Eleven plus two               Twelve plus one

         Contradiction                 Accord not in it

         And for the grand finale:

         "PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA"

         It can be rearranged (with no letters left over, and using each
         letter only once) into:

         TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS

 1.       Good:    Your wife is pregnant.
           Bad:    It's triplets
           Ugly:    You had a vasectomy five years ago.

    2.    Good:    Your wife's not talking to you
           Bad:    She wants a divorce
           Ugly:    She's a lawyer

    3.    Good:    Your son is finally maturing
           Bad:    He's involved with the woman next door
           Ugly:   So are you

    4.    Good:    Your son studies a lot in his room
           Bad:    You find several porn movies hidden there
           Ugly:    You're in them

    5.    Good:    Your hubby and you agree, no more kids
           Bad:    You can't find your birth control pills
           Ugly:    Your daughter borrowed them

    6.    Good:    Your husband understands fashion
           Bad:    He's a cross-dresser
           Ugly:    He looks better than you

    7.    Good:    You give the "birds and bees:" talk to your daughter
           Bad:    She keeps interrupting
           Ugly:    With corrections

    8.     Good:    The postman's early
            Bad:        He's wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun
            Ugly:      You gave him nothing for Christmas

    9.    Good:    You son is dating someone new
            Bad:        It's another man
            Ugly:        He's your best friend

   10.    Good:    Your daughter got a new job
            Bad:        As a hooker
            Ugly:        Your coworkers are her best clients
            Way ugly: She makes more money

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