Adult Jokes Week 11
He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said...You wear briefs, don't you?

He said... Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune?
She said...Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money.

 She said...What do you mean by coming home half drunk?
He said... It's not my fault...I ran out of money.

He said... Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way.
She said...Well, you succeeded.

He said... 'Two inches more, and I would be king'
She said...'Two inches less, and you'd be queen'

On wall in ladies room: 'My husband follows me everywhere' Written just below it: 'I do not'

Priest... 'I don't think you will ever find another man like your late husband.'
She said...'Who's gonna look?'

He said... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said...Turn sideways and look in the mirror.

He said... Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
She said...Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.

He said... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said...I would, but you're never there.

He said... "Shall we try a different position tonight?"
She said..."That's a good idea.... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.


Bob lived in an apartment building and had to walk down the hall every morning to get his mail. One morning while getting his mail, his new, drop-dead gorgeous neighbor came out of her apartment towards him. As she leaned over to get her mail her robe opened a bit. Bob could hardly believe it, she wasn't wearing a thing under her robe. The woman leaned closer to Bob and said good morning.

This time her robe opened up completely. She purred to Bob that she hadn't had a man in years. He could hardly keep eye contact. She said she heard someone coming and that they should go to her apartment.

They went inside and she let the robe fall to the floor. "What do you think my best feature is?"

Bob stuttered and drooled a bit, and finally said, "Your ears."

"What do you mean my ears? Look at me. I have perfect breasts, a nice tight ass, and legs to die for! What on earth made you say ears?"

"Well," said Bob, "in the hall, you said you heard someone coming? That was me!"


 BE SURE TO READ  BEFORE VIEWING THE PICTURE!.......

 Tired of seeing all those dead beats standing on the side of the  road wanting to work in exchange for something?  I am!  However, the softer side of me does reach out to this man. What would you do?  You're driving down the highway and
there on the side of the road, you see this creature  of God and read his sign.
Are you going to stop or  keep going?  You only have a second to think about it before you flash by.  Do you press the gas  or the brake?

 SLAM ON THE BRAKES!!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


 
 
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