 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
VIRGO |
|
| PISCES |
|
|
|
|
 |
|
February 19 to March 20 |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
August 23 to September 22 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You'll have good luck at work this month. You'll lose your job. You always said you hated it! |
|
|
|
|
|
Call up an old friend you haven't seen in a while ... unless you owe him money. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| AQUARIUS |
|
|
LEO |
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
January 20 to February 18 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
July 23 to August 22 |
|
|
|
|
|
Beware of a tall dark person with a handlebar mustache -- especially if it's a woman. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Attempt a romantic relationship with someone born under the sign of Cancer. They are attracted to Leos and open to your advances. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| CAPRICORN |
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
December 22 to January 19 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Now's the time to do something about your appearance ... Avoid havin' ugleee parents! |
|
|
|
CANCER |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
June 22 to July 22 |
|
|
|
|
|
Stay away from Leos. They're over-eager sex fiends with only one thing on their minds. |
|
| SAGITTARIUS |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
November 22 to December 21 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
This month your troubles will revolve around your family. The Manson Family. Lock your doors. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
GEMINI |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
May 22 to June 21 |
|
| SCORPIO |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Someone will send you a fur coat this month. But beware: it will be a do-it-yourself kit. |
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
October 24 to November 21 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You will meet that perfect someone special through the personal ads. Try to overlook the fact that this person is 4 feet tall, weighs 300 pounds and has a bad personality. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
TAURUS |
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
April 21 to May 21 |
|
|
|
| LIBRA |
|
|
Watch your diet. Don't eat any food that's blue, hairy or looks like it's been eaten before. |
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
September 23 to October23 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Avoid having an argument with anyone carrying a chainsaw. |
|
|
|
|
|
ARIES |
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
March 21 to April 20 |
|
|
|
|
|
If geeks are all you seem to be attracting lately, try hanging a No-Pest Strip from your belt. |
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|