Camping
tips from a stressed out house wife
Hey all of you people who long to get off the throne, WELL WE HAVE
GOT A SHOW FOR YOU! My aunt Helga came over and told me some tricks of the
trade on how to enjoy a risk/addiction free camping trick!
TIIP #1 (The confidence booster): ALWAYS have
a swimming buddy that is uglier than you in a bikini, because you really want
to look good for all those old grandpas on the beach!
TIP #2: DO NOT let your children see you fooling around with the
guy in the tent next door! Hey, but how can you resist him in that skimpy speedo and those oversized knickers, FRANKLY?!?!
TIP #3: DO waste your time checking out this website, because I
give special rewards to people who spend 10 consecutive hours on my site. And
no, I will not be giving away my grandmas underwear like at that dance festival
last year!
TIP #4: ALWAYS check the camp ground for unfortunate, yet always
playful bear cubs. Last time I went camping my dear
friend Becky lost her balaclava in an inconsecutive bear fight (and by
inconsecutive I mean she just kept going at the bear after brief 10 minute
intermissions).
TIP #5: ALWAYS bring pancakes/crepes with Nicotine in then in
case you can’t control your mid-life crisis problems. You never know, you could
be swimming topless when suddenly the urge comes to light up, but please
remember to put your shirt back on before you go running up to your beach bag!