None of the charas of the Castlevania series belongs to me, ok?? So DO NOT sue me!!! ^__^

I will furthermore only accept the flames of love, and no other flames, you hear?! ~___^

WARNING!!!!: This fic contains (or *will* at least) SHONEN AI, and a bit of YAOI, eg. BOYS WITH BOYS, and as in all of my fics, a lot of ANGST... ^__^;;

... don’t ask me why I put in so much angst...^^;;

If you have a problem with any of the contents that I have promised will be part of this fic (look above: ‘bold letters’), don’t read!! It is your own choice whether to read, or not. I’m not forcing anyone to read my fics, and I am sure no one else is, so don’t come crying to me about your damaged psyche after you’ve read this fic....

Remember: I WARNED YOU!!!! ~_____^

 

Send your thoughts to: [email protected]

Harigatou Gozaimaaasu, minna-san!!

Nocturne in the Moonlight ~ The Cup of Eternal Love

 

~Chapter One~

 

In his sleep, Richter writhed. For in his dreams, he was experiencing the sweetest pleasure. A most beautiful creature, with long, flowing, white blond hair was hovering over him, caressing every part of his body and mind. Soft kisses were painted all over his body, all over his face. The sweetest taste of a kiss filled his mouth, caressing his every sense.

Richter, my love. Beloved mortal... a soft, yet sensually deep voice spoke to him, reverberating in his head, bringing him so close to tears.

...My love.. he sighed, cherishing the sound of those words rolling off his tongue. Beloved.. but his sigh turned into a rumbling moan, as the hottest fire spread over all of his body, heating his skin in the unholiest of ways. He nuzzled the cool cheek of his lover, and clawed at the back of his beautiful nymph, bringing such heated emotions to his body and mind.

Richter.... Come to me... My love... the seductive voice said, murmuring softly. And for one moment, a pair of soft, creamy, pale amber eyes glittered at him.

Richter awoke with a start, waking his wife up as well from his sudden movement. The young woman sat up beside him and looked at him, concern filling her eyes slowly, as their blue depths focused on his face.

"Richter? Is there something wrong?" she asked, and it brought him back to his senses, "Was it one of those nightmares?"

"....no, Anette...it was... nothing..." he felt a blush slowly creep over his face, since neither did he know what to say, but nor had he any clue as to how he could conceal the bulge between his legs.

He didn’t even have the time to finish his thoughts before his wife noticed his condition as well. But, to his own surprise, she only smiled a coy smile at him, and stroke his cheek.

"Oh...it was *such* a dream..." she chuckled, a warmth emanating from her eyes and hand on his cheek. She turned back to the door, and said, taking her hand away from his face:

"I ...was planning on making you a nice good meal when you woke up, Richter..." she turned to face him once again, "So, I don’t think we have the time for such activities..." she smiled at him, before giving him a quick kiss and walking up to the door. There she stopped, and turned back to cast a glance at him over her shoulder.

"...but...maybe later..." she smiled a brilliant smile, and laughed softly, her voice holding a promise of unspoken things to happen. He returned her smile, and as soon as she had closed the door, he threw himself back into the pillows and sheets.

"Oh, God!!" he cursed silently to himself; the creature in his dream couldn’t have been that man who fought him in the castle. Could it?

No!! he thought, refusing to believe he could have had such a disgusting, sinful dream. The thought alone made him cold with fear. But what was there to do?

Go confess to the priest that he had had sinful thoughts about a man he had just met once? And even worse, a dhampire??

First of all, the priest in the booth next to his, would probably just die of shock, to hear that the great Richter Belmont, the same man that had fought the Count, was in fact, a queer. Richter shrugged.

Next, he would have been taken to the town square in order to be punished for killing the priest, with his tainted, sinful confession. And then he would be given the fierce whisks of the whip, until he wouldn’t even know his own name. Or... until he was, well... Dead.

Not only would he draw his family name into the dirt, or cast shame upon the entire Belmont family way back to his oldest ancestors, but he would also hurt the one who meant more to him than anything. He couldn’t do such a thing to Anette, not after she had gone through such awful things for being his fianc馥 and then his wife. She had trusted him, given him her heart and soul, body and spirit, even though she knew he might get killed one of these days in the line of work.

....but it had only been a dream! And he wasn’t even sure what it was that had been there with him. Dreams weren’t supposed to make any sense, after all, he pondered.

But...it felt so real... so... he thought, but instantly reprimanded his foolish self for indulging himself in such a line of thought.

*****

After a nice meal, Anette decided that it would be good for her husband to get out in the sun and get some fresh air. Considering, he had been in bed for days. So, she took his arm and took him out for a nice long walk around town.
Getting out in the fresh air after a night of snowing could only be good for his health.

"We could always go to the market! ...there are some things I do need to shop for..."

"...And what things might those be, hmm?" Richter asked her on their way out, "I do hope you’re not thinking of buying that horrible piece of furniture you showed me a month ago?" he grinned, knowing what her reaction would be.

"Richter!" she gasped, softly hitting his upper arm, "How can you say that!! A divan is one of the finest piece of furniture!!"

"Yes, yes, I know, my sweet. But, I don’t think it would fit into our ...decor, you see." he smiled, and walked out on the street, greeting the people that passed by with a curteous nod. After a few moments of silence, Anette looked up at her husband and said:

"...maybe you do have a point. ...but I will buy it anyway! I have saved a lot of money only to buy that divan, and I will not let you change my mind this time, Richter Belmont!"

This small, angry snapping, made Richter laugh with all his heart, and after he had wiped the tears from his eyes, he said:

"...Oh, my sweetest Anette! When have I ever been able to change your mind, when it comes to these things?"

"..well," Anette slightly pouted, "..you never let me buy that kitten, that I so much wanted..."

"But, Anette, it bit me!! It left me a big scar on my hand! It never wanted to let go of me!"

"She was hungry!! And, besides, I can quite understand it if she didn’t like you, when you indeed are such a brute!"

Richter only smiled, and patted his wife on the hand that held his arm.

"Well, I guess you are right, love. I can be quite a brute at times, to neglect such a wonderful lady as you."

"Oh, Richter." his wife giggled, and pulled him along to the market.

*****

As night fell later on, a young girl was making her way through the woods. She was tracking someone, and she knew exactly where he was going. Therefor, she hurried up, and soon, she came to the clearing of a glen.

In the center of that very glen, lay a single oak tree, that had once stood there in solemn reign. Now, it was crumbled, brought to the knees by a fierce thunderstorm. And upon this corpse of the oak tree, sat the most luminous creature in the moonlight. His long hair, flowing in the wind, had the eerie glow of the silver streaks of the moon itself. His eyes were darker than usual, and they too, were coloured by the moon. The long black cape he wore, was lined with silver in the pale light, and both his boots and gloves glimmered with the moon.

"Step from out of the shadows, my young Maria." he said, his deep voice lowered in the silence. She did as he told her, since there was no use in hiding from someone aware of your presence.

"Alucard..." she whispered, afraid to disturb his serene stare at some vision in his mind, "...I only wanted to see how you were doing, after all of this...that has happened."

"I am doing fine, Maria. ...but, there are certain things on my mind, that I have to deal with." he answered, his voice giving off the deepest resonance.

"Oh... I see." she said, twirling one of her blond locks between her thumb and indexfinger. She went up to the fallen tree and sat down on a small branch, not too far away from where Alucard sat, swinging his leg this and that way slowly.

"Is there anything I could help you with? ...maybe, I could give you some advice... I’m pretty clever for being a mortal, you know." she smiled, hoping that maybe he would show his smile to her. He didn’t. But, instead, he turned to her, and shared with her the most solemn look.

"...I am not sure what to do about this problem I have... Maybe ..you could help me, Maria.."

Her hope was lit anew, but his depressed appearance bothered her greatly.

"...You aren’t thinking about returning to sleep, are you, Alucard?"

He shook his head, making his long hair flow with every move.

"No. My problem is not of that kind. It is much more serious. Much more... personal, one might say." he sighed, refusing to meet her eager eyes.

She moved closer, and carefully put her hands on his cold, gloved one. He sealed their hold on each other by laying his other hand on top of hers.

"...My mother died, loving a man she shouldn’t ever have been plagued by..."

"...Don’t say that!!" Maria burst out, "She gave birth to you! And if there hadn’t been for her love of your father, you would never have..."

"Hush, Maria." Alucard cut her off, his voice calm and soft, but enough for her to stop.

"What I meant to say was, that she loved a man who were not of her kind. And eventually, when she died, he couldn’t be there for her, even though I know he must have loved her." he lowered his eyes to the hold Maria had on him, and patted her hands, sighing, "I may suffer the same fate, as did my Mother. Perhaps even worse ..." he trailed off, and seemed lost for many long moments. Even though it scared Maria to see him like that, she wouldn’t ever think of disturbing his thoughts intentionally. So, instead, she studied the fine structure of his face. How the long eyelashes fluttered ever so slightly, and how his small fangs were only slightly visible behind his barely separated lips... How his eyebrows remained still, locked in their immaculate position over his eyes, which shone with such an eerie light.

He turned back to her, seemingly snapping away from the sight, visible only to him.

"Maria... What would you say, if I told you... I was in love with a mortal?...a married mortal..." his eyes glowed, and his whole being seemed to quiver. But, she dismissed it; it was probably only the wind. She suddenly felt hurt. Obviously he couldn’t be in love with her, since she were not even close to married. She hid her hurt pride, and looked into his worried eyes. Clearly, her answer would mean much to him.

"Does she feel the same?" she asked bluntly, but was surprised as she almost thought she saw a blush creep over Alucard’s cheeks. He looked away instantly, and clearing his throat, he said:

"It is not what you think, Maria. I... I should not’ve told you. I cannot tell you anymore, than I already have."

Maria still held him in her grasp, and he didn’t have the heart to tear himself away from her loving hold.

"Alucard... I suppose you have yet to act upon your feelings towards this woman. And, I think, that if she is happy with her husband, you should leave her be. ...But, if he is no good husband to her..." she paused, "I don’t know what advice to give you. I don’t want to see you hurting like this, but neither do I want you to hurt this woman by doing somethig you might as well regret later on..." she sighed, "I wish I could help you, Alucard."

He nodded, and turned his eyes back to hers.

"In a way, I am glad you could not. Because, I know it would hurt you to know that you had helped me wreck the home of an innocent couple." although he didn’t smile, his voice was warm in spite of the coldness of the night, and the seriousness of their conversation.

"I think it is about time, I left, my dear Maria." he said, unlatching his hands from hers, and stood up, "I bid you farewell, my lady." he said, shapeshifting into a wolf before her eyes, running away faster than any mere wolf possibly could. She too, stood up, and followed his silverlined fur with her eyes, until she lost track of him. Being too close to tears, she hurried home.

*****

In the small town of the province of Wallachia, nothing more were heard of the serene beauty of a man that had fought the Count, and thus saved the town and its people from utter damnation. For months, everything went back to the peace the townspeople had only dreamed of.

But all was not well, in the Belmont household. Richter was haunted by the vision of that nymphic creature every night. And for every night, Richter were given small clues as to who it was that visited his dreams so profoundly. He found, that no matter what he did, he couldn’t get those dreams out of his head, even during daytime. He grew out of focus, annoyed at the most trivial things. All of this resulted in the most horrid fights in the Belmont household.

Richter had taken up the habit of drinking, and many times at night, he would come home, so drunk he couldn’t even walk straight. Anette would try to ask him why, since she did care about her husband’s well-being. But, most often, Richter would not see her questions as being compassionate, or caring. It would send him into fits of rage, whenever she asked him to stop the drinking; if he couldn’t drink, how else could he forget about the creature that haunted his dreams?

Of course, he didn’t tell his wife about his dreams. How could he tell her, that what was there every night in his arms, were a man? How could he possibly tell her, without hurting her more than he already had?

Though, waking up in the morning, he always felt the heaviest guilt on his shoulders, both for not dreaming about Anette, but also for treating her the way he did, when he was drunk. This all brought a tension to their home, and soon, neither of them wished to stay in each others company. Things were going so bad, that Anette was considering a divorce. But, she felt she couldn’t tell her husband, since it would probably send him into one of those fits, and she didn’t want that at all.

If only things could go back to how they were before Castlevania ever rose again! she thought, watching as Richter sat by the kitchen window, gazing out at the grey mass of rainy trees and houses. Lately, he had seemed so absent, so out of touch with his surroundings. They hardly spoke anymore, except for the times when he came home drunk, and the almost daily fights caused by it.

"Oh, Richter.." she whispered, not being able to stand the silence anymore, "If you would only tell me what is bothering you, maybe I could understand." she walked up to him slowly, at least expecting an angry retort, or a comment on how she should mind her own business.

But, she got neither. Instead Richter turned to her, with the most anguished look on his face. His eyebrows were knitted together in a sad frown, and under his chocolate brown eyes, were dark semicircular fields. When he finally spoke, after looking at her for an eternity, his voice was so sad, that it brought tears to her eyes.

"I wish I could tell you, Anette." he sighed, lowering his eyes to the floor, "I truly wish I could."

"..Richter.." she sighed, and threw her arms around his neck, sobbing quietly, "Richter, please! Tell me what is bothering you!! Tell me in what way I am doing you wrong!!"

He put his arms around her, and held her close, not knowing what to say.

"You have not wronged me in any way, my sweet. It is me, who has done you wrong. But I can’t tell you... I don’t wish to hurt you more than I already have.."

"But Richter! If you told me why you have been acting so strange lately, then maybe I could understand! I could see things through your eyes..."

But Richter refused, and remained silent. After trying his best to comfort his wife, silently stroking her hair, he sighed:

"I am afraid I don’t deserve your love, Anette. I am afraid I cannot love you the way a good husband should love his wife..."

Anette slowly pulled away from his arms, looking into his dark eyes, searching for some answer.

"You... You’re not having...an affair, are you?!" she stuttered, staring at him, all while tears ran down her face.

"No!" Richter told her, pulling her close to his chest again, rocking her back and forth like a small child, "I could never do that to you, Anette!"

"But.." she sobbed into the white shirt he wore, "..you never come to our bed anymore... you don’t even kiss me goodnight..!!"

"Schh... Hush now, Anette. You have done nothing wrong, I assure you! You must believe me. I never wanted to hurt you, I swear... But I cannot help what I feel any longer. I cannot hide it from myself..."

"Tell me, Richter, please!! I beg of you, tell me what is wrong!!"

Anette looked up at his face, begging for an answer with her eyes. Demanding it. But she was shocked to see that he too, was shedding tears.

"... I love you, Anette.." he sighed, "...I truly do... But I do not love you the way a good husband should... Honestly, I don’t think I could love any woman the way a husband should..." he tried to smile, and stroke her cheek, wiping away her tears, "What I am, there lies such shame in being...that I have yet to tell the world of..."

His wife looked at him with her big green blue eyes.

"What... do you mean..?"

"No one knows, but me, I assure you. And I will never tell..." he told her, hesitating at first, but growing more and more frantic with every word he spoke, "I will never draw any shame on you, Anette, I promise!! I will never act upon my hidden feelings, and never will I indulge myself in any desire that may surface in my Godforsaken heart!!!"

He was shaking in shame, for he knew that she would draw away from him if she ever found out, she would shun him like the plague if she knew. Therefore, he could never tell her. But her insistent questions and the troubled look in her eyes made him feel so weak. He couldn’t keep it inside any more than he already had. He so needed for someone to talk to, to be able to tell someone, and know that they would at least try to understand. But it scared him so much, to know that he had married this wonderful young woman, believing that he loved her, only to fall for the first beautiful man he had laid eyes upon.

It hurt him to think of all the nights he spent in his years of becoming a man, praying to God that he would be riddened of the shame, of the tainted feelings that would always surface when he saw a handsome man or cute boy. And just when he thought that his prayers had finally been answered, that horrid creature of a man had to enter his life, and destroy everything. He felt so hopeless, so worthless, to have surrendered so easily to the allure of that angelic beauty of a man.

"Richter." she said, now with a calmness present in both her voice and posture, "You must tell me what it is that hurts you so much that it brings you to tears. Richter, tell me what is tormenting you so, that you cannot even bring yourself to look me in the eyes." she paused for a moment, wiping away the tears that now rolled down his face, "What could possibly hold such shame, that it brings the great vampire hunter of the Belmont family to tears?" her tone held no sarcasm, no sharpness. Instead her voice was full of love, and care. And most importantly, a will to understand.

"...You have to promise me that you will not tell anyone, you hear me!!" he said, his voice wavering. She nodded.

"I promise! Whatever you wish to tell me, will not leave this room."

...And so, Richter began his story of how, in his fourteenth year, he had first come to terms with what sort of a boy he was. His first kiss, as wonderful it may have been, he had shared with a boy his own age. He told her of the shame in being discovered. The shame, and painful horror in being reprimanded, and sent to the priests in order to have the devil exorcised from out of his body.

"I.. was only a boy..." Richter sobbed, his face red from both tears and shame, "I truly loved him, Anette. But..I didn’t dare to keep on dreaming. I had to focus on my duties as a Belmont. I had to adjust to a normal way of life. It was, and still is, my duty to keep the Belmont family alive, and the only way I can do that is to have a family." he drew a long shuddering breath before his voice spoke once again.

"For me to come forward and tell the world of what I am, would bring such ultimate shame upon my family, and upon you. I couldn’t hurt the ones I love only for such a selfish cause!! I don’t want to hurt you, Anette!! I don’t want to hurt my family...I don’t want to disappoint everyone. I am a Belmont... And I have to take my responsibility as such. I shall never leave you, Anette." he trembled where he sat, "I believed I loved you when I proposed to you, and married you, and I took those vows meaning what I said. I meant each and every word, Anette!! Please believe me!!" he looked her straight in the eyes, "You have to believe me... I never wanted this to happen...I never meant for it to turn out this way!"

But no longer were there any understanding love in her eyes, and she remained silent, watching him in voiceless horror.

"You’re.... in love with a ...man??" came her whisper finally, as she stood up again, and backed away from him. He felt how cold panick once again filled him to the brim, and he got up too, trying to reach her. She backed away for every step he took in trying to bring them closer. When she reached the wall, and there were no more way to retreat, she begged him silently to stay away from her, with a shake of her head.

"...don’t touch me!! DON’T COME NEAR ME!!!" she shrieked in fear and loathing as she ran out of the house, tears flooding her pale green blue eyes.

"Anette!! Wait!" he shouted after her, but it was too late. He had already destroyed whatever there were left of their marriage. All by being the honest husband she once loved him for being.

*****

The following days were pure torture for Richter. Anette had packed all of her things with the help of her sister Maria, and she had banned Richter from their house for as long as it took for her to collect her things and move to her aunt who lived in a town far, far away from the likes of him. Or, so she had put it. Even now were rumours circulating in the small town, about why Anette had so abruptly decided to separate from her husband. Some people said, that he couldn’t have been the good husband everyone had thought, claiming that he must have hit her, or abused her in one way or the other, and that Anette had just had enough. Others were suspicious, vaguely recalling something about young Richter being sent away to the priests for some sort of exorcism in his youth.

But, Richter couldn’t care less. What he had vowed would not happened, he had made happen all on his own. He had hurt the person most important to him. And she didn’t want to understand, didn’t even try to grasp his dilemma.

He walked to the nearby forest, looking for some sort of peace of mind among the verdant surroundings. He sat there all day, by a small river running through the brown and red of the woods of the autumn, and he didn’t go back until darkness fell over him.

Of course, he knew the dangers of being unarmed in the woods after dark, but he didn’t quite care. The one he had seen as being the most wonderful of all women, had she herself accused him of being the perverted, filthy monster of a man, that he had always prayed he wasn’t.

Not even when he heard rustling in the bushes or creaks of branches being broken, did he increase his pace. He just walked on, in his current state of dazed self-pity, not even twitching as a giant beast appeared before him.

Instead, he just stopped for a moment to look at the huge man-like, semi-demon standing there, blocking his path. As the first clawed hand lunged at him, he didn’t fight back. Not even when another hit him, and then yet another one. He just let the mass of punches and kicks and claws land on him, just as if he was a living, breathing target. But, yes, he was... He just didn’t feel alive anymore.

For every punch, every jab to his ribs and claws at his shoulders and neck, he felt himself weakening. For a moment he looked down on the shirt he wore, no longer white, but a dark crimson in color. As the darkness fell over him, and shielded his eyes and mind, he welcomed it, and succumbed to a seemingly endless sleep. The first peaceful one he had had in such a long time.

******

When he finally woke up, it was because of something cold as ice running down his face. Squinting, he opened his eyes, unable to see clearly. Everything he could see was a blur of grey and blue, white and yellow, and he thought he could somewhere hear a fire crackling nearby.

"Anette...?" he asked, his voice not what it had been, as he saw locks of golden hair before him.

"Hush. Do not speak. Rest, and you will feel better..."

The voice that had spoken so softly to him, was in no way Anette’s, and it scared him to recognize just to whom it belonged.

"Alucard!"

"Quite right, aren’t you... Now lie back down, and rest. You don’t wish to have those wounds rip open again, do you?" Alucard said, and for a moment, Richter thought he had heard a smile on Alucard’s lips. But, that couldn’t be it. Alucard didn’t smile. Ever. The ice on his forehead disappeared, and was replaced by a soft cloth, as Alucard gently wiped away what little of the water that had escaped the iced towel.

"There." he said, as he removed the cloth, his pale amber eyes scrutinizing Richter’s face contently, "I think that will do."

Richter tried to focus his eyes, tried to make the blur of colors into something more than just a fog. Swallowing hard, in order to clear his throat from the sandy dryness, he asked quietly:

"Where am I? ...what... How..." but he soon went out of breath, finding it both painful and exhausting to talk. Not to mention how difficult it was to breathe.

But, being the dhampire he was, Alucard knew what Richter asked for, and so, he answered him.

"I found you, being attacked by one of those ogres, and I took care of it before it had the chance to bring you any more damage. I brought you here, since I saw it more fit, than bringing you all the way back to the village. We both know none of the townspeople would gladly help a dhampire ..." Alucard stated, his pale eyes shimmering in the glow of the fire, and put the cool cloth back on Richter’s burning forehead.

Richter sighed, and succumbed to the darkness once again settling before his eyes. He couldn’t stand the dizziness, or the blur hurting his eyes and head as soon as he moved, and within moments he had fallen back into the deep sleep he had hoped never to wake up from.

"Richter?" the pale one asked, not sure what to do. After all, he wasn’t accustomed to tending to any sort of creature, and least so a mortal. He gave a faint huff, and got up from sitting on the bedside, and walked over to put some more logs on the fire. He was still wearing his black gloves and boots, but the cape, he had since long discarded. Now it hung over one of the two chairs in the kitchen-and-bedroom sort of room. It was, after all, only a one room cottage, that had belonged to the watcher of this part of the woods. Now, it just stood deserted, in the middle of the forest, occupied by no one, except for a few squirrels, that had decided to stay. Though, being frightened by the appearance of Alucard, and the heap of wounded mortal he had carried inside, the squirrels quickly vanished, leaving Alucard to a lot of cleaning up before he could tend to Richter’s wounds.

But, that was nearly two days ago, and now, it looked quite comfortable, a warm glow of the fire flowing through the glass of the old windows, alluring to anyone out in the cold winds and rain of the late autumn.

For eternities, he sat in front of the fire, oblivious to anything that went about around him, a cold stare into the fire being the only statement on his pale face.

The thing that finally woke him from his trance was the sound of the last tweak of wood turning into ashes. His eyes snapped free of the lock, and skitted around in the room. It had become late night, and the moon outside was veiled in the softest velvet of clouds. In the bed beside him, Richter slept, the fever seeming less fierce than earlier that day. The long breaths he took was the only sound in the otherwise eerily quiet room.

Alucard stood up, turning his eyes to watch the young mortal. The long, darkbrown lashes casting frail shadows over his cheeks, and his chest rising and falling in a peaceful calmness that only mortal sleep could bring.

Or, so Alucard thought. He had yet to experience a peaceful sleep as this mortal now dwelled in. Not a single hint of emotion, he moved closer, and sat down on the bed beside the vampire hunter. Such sweet pleasure there was in only sitting there, feeling human warmth emanate from this man, he pondered.

For a moment, Richter stirred in his sleep, as if sensing danger, but being unable to escape. And, at a sudden impulse, Alucard removed his black gloves, and put a hand to Richter’s burning forehead, bringing it down to slowly caress his cheek. But he didn’t expect such a reaction. Richter followed every move of his cold hand, as if wanting to bring it closer, and so, he put his other hand to his face as well.

Richter sighed, nuzzling into the cold touch of Alucard’s hands on his face, and soon settled down in his dreams again.

In the corner of his eye, Alucard suddenly caught sight of a curl of Richter’s dark hair, laying itself down at the crook of his neck and shoulder. And below that curl of hair, he could just barely see the curves of his muscled chest through his shirt; a sign of the years of training to be a hunter had been worth while.

He could feel his own heart speed up, and felt the urge to touch that curl of hair, the chest, and neck, or he would surely burst into tiny fragments. It drove him mad, to have Richter so close, and still not being able to do anything about it.

More than just a bit cautious, he slid his hand down that neck, tracing every vein and muscle, every inch of that corded flesh, covered by his hand. He could feel the steady pulse throbbing against his hypersensitive skin, and it made his heart race even faster, made it beat even harder.

Still oblivious, Richter leaned into that cold hand on his neck, and paralyzed, Alucard could only watch. He felt how a cold lump formed in his belly, and when he felt his predatory fangs pricking his tongue, he knew he had gone way too far. With a deep breath he removed his hands, and stood up, putting his leather gloves back on. Richter moaned, in what Alucard could only interpret as disappointment, and rolled his head to the side.

This is wrong. I should not’ve brought him here. A fool, is what I am. he went to the stove in order to make some tea. Not that he was actually going to drink any, he just felt he had to occupy himself; he needed to focus on something else than the living, breathing, mortal sleeping across the room.

He could smell the warm blood coursing through his delicate veins, hear how his heart pumped in such a steady rythm. And before his closed eyes, he could see the writhing, moaning Richter, the way he had been that night... That night that he had trespassed; when he had disrespected Richter’s most private space.

What shall I do? What can I do? ....How could he ever understand what I feel, when I don’t even understand it myself... he sighed, a habit that he had just recently taken. With a gleaming pair of eyes, he glanced over to the warm creature that twisted and turned in fever. Writhed and squirmed. Too much to be good for him. If he kept it up, his wounds would surely spring open again.

In just a mere heartbeat’s moment, he was over at the bed again, holding Richter down with his hands on his shoulders, trying to stop him from tossing about so harshly. But Alucard should have known better than to try holding him down in such a way. Richter awoke slowly, squinting his eyes open, looking at his pale vision blearily.

"A...Alucard...so..so warm..." he huffed, and panted, trying to get enough air to his lungs, but without any bigger success, "...it..hurts...so much...Alucard.... Please ..."

Not knowing how to reply, since he didn’t know what was asked for, he put his gloved hand on Richter’s forehead, wiping away the soft, brown bangs that were slicked to his face.

"What, Richter... what do you want me to do?"

"...help me..." he sighed, "....don’t...don’t go.. Don’t leave me.. please..."

Alucard couldn’t do anything but nod. He sat down on the bed, releasing his hold on Richter’s shoulders, and wiping his forehead with the cool cloth.

"Hush now, Richter. Go back to sleep if you’re tired." he said, trying not to turn his eyes towards that neck, that sculpted chest heaving so close to him. But Richter wouldn’t listen. He grunted in disapproval, leaning his face to where Alucard’s hand rested on his face.

"...I don’t want to sleep.... I’m not tired..." he mumbled, his eyelids already drooping down so far they were almost closed. He sighed, and turned to look at Alucard.

"...I’m.. so thirsty....please....water..."

Alucard obliged, walking over to the table and pouring a glass of water from the old worn-out pitcher, then bringing it back to Richter. He carefully lifted Richter’s head up from the pillows, and put the glass to his lips. He drank greedily, savouring every drop of water as if it was his last, but soon lost strength, and sunk back down into the pillows.

Alucard sighed, and put the glass away, while looking at Richter, watching his every move for any sign of his condition getting worse.

"How do you feel?" he asked, and after a moment of silence, he was answered:

".....it’s too warm in here...." he panted for air, "...can’t breathe...."

He suddenly took hold of Alucard’s shirt, and desperately tried to pull himself up into a sitting position. But it hurt too much, and his face contorted i painful agony. He gasped in pain, and his fists closed around the soft fabric of Alucard’s shirt.

Alucard brought his hands behind Richter’s back and helped him, let him rest against his make-shift support, but remained silent.

".... Richter. You need to remain still, or your wounds will open up again." he knew his words weren’t much of comfort, but he had no clue what else to say.

He’s...holding... me.....in his arms... Richter thought, his mind still foggy, as if he was experiencing a dream. Almost fascinated, he lifted a hand to touch that impossibly pale face. Cool as an autumn wind, his skin felt against Richter’s hand. Not ice cold, as he had imagined, but not warm as a human either; Alucard was the immaculate fusion of vampire and mortal. Both immortal and so utterly mortal, all at once.

"How could you do this to me?" Richter whispered, trying to focus on those creamy amber eyes, "How could you make these sinful desires spread throughout my being?"

Alucard sat silent, paralyzed at how warm Richter’s hand felt agains his cheek, touching him as if he was the most beautiful thing he had ever touched.

"Pardon?" he said, bemused, looking at Richter’s fever-glowing eyes. Were there really something more in those depths of soft brown pools of mortal life he was now gazing into? Was it true, what they said, about the eyes being the mirror to one’s soul?

"How could you vanquish everything I had struggled so hard to keep intact!" Richter suddenly exclaimed, punching Alucard’s chest, as hard as he could in spite of his state, "How could you just enter my life and destroy everything I worked so hard for!! How could you make all my prayers worth nothing with just the sound of your voice!!" for every syllible, Richter’s voice quivered, as he soon went out of strength from lashing out against the dhampire in front of him. He clamped a hand over his mouth, as he felt tears springing to his eyes, bringing the most painful cramps to his chest. He feared what he might say if he didn’t stop.

He didn’t want Alucard to see him weak, even if he knew the dhampire probably couldn’t care less about a mortal man crying before him like some boy. Still, he crumpled under the shocked eyes of the pale man who still held him in his arms. He succumbed to the pain inside, and collapsed under the weight weighing his whole being down. He didn’t even notice as Alucard held him closer, pulling him to his chest and stroking his tousled brown hair.

"Richter..." he whispered, slowly stroking his back and hair, trying to figure out what to do. But Richter interrupted him.

"...you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen..." Richter sobbed, resting his head on Alucard’s shoulder, seeking his warmth, and lack of it, "...you don’t know how many years I’ve prayed to never feel this ever again... Do you have any idea what they would do to me if anyone found out? The’d try to drive the devil from my body... And for what!?" he angrily huffed, "For not being what everyone wants me to be... Because they’re all too bloody afraid that I might infect them with my so-called hedonistic..." he ran out of words. Surrending to whatever comfort there was in the cold arms of the blond dhampire, he leaned his head against the soft shirt Alucard wore.

"They would shun me like the plague..." he whimpered silently, not even caring if Alucard had heard him or not. But of course he had. He sat still, frozen like a marble statue, paralyzed by the words that had come forth so softly from Richter’s lips.

He thinks I am....beautiful.... Alucard thought to himself, baffled by the honesty in Richter’s words, But he...also fears what might spring from this attraction... he cursed at himself, Oh, what fool of fools am I!! To bring him here, knowing what he has kept from everyone, thinking what?? That I could have had him with just the snap of my fingers?? I truly am the King of fools and jesters...

"Alucard..." he heard a faint voice whisper to him, calling out for his attention.

He looked down at the young mortal face, so immaculately framed by those soft brown locks of hair. And then the most forbidden of things happened. The mortal pulled him close to his face and kissed him. Never before had a kiss tasted so bittersweet. And, still, his mind raced in fear of what might be.

No! No, this is not happening! This cannot be happening!!

But, before he had the chance to pull away, Richter heaved a sigh, and fell against his chest, quivering:

"....what have I done..." he said, so silently that no human would have been able to hear him. But Alucard remained still, didn’t move one bit away from the shivering man in his arms.

"Richter..." he began, "...you aren’t well at this time. Both your body and spirit has been through many trials. Maybe if you had some time to think things through, you would see..."

A sob. That was all it took to silence his words. A sob, turning into open tears and cries, muffled only by his white shirt. No longer did Richter cling to him, but the still keeping him close was Alucard’s arms holding him.

What shall I do? he asked himself, I cannot indulge myself in this! What would happen if we were found out... No. I can’t do such a thing to Richter, I simply cannot hurt him in that way... Not in any way...

"...Forgive me... I shouldn’t have brought you here. I should not’ve ..."

He lost words. But Richter kept quivering in his arms, even though his sobs subseeded.

"Richter." he softly whispered, "Look at me. Please ..."

At the sound of his voice, Richter moved in his arms, turning his head up to look at him. Their eyes met, and Alucard waited for Richter’s eyes to adjust to the lack of light in the room.

"...you shouldn’t wish to have a man like me, when you have your wife, Anette to care for. You..."

"I don’t have Anette!! I never had Anette!! She never loved me as much as she wanted me to believe..." Richter lashed out at the dhampire, rage and disappointment mixing with despair in his eyes and voice.

"Why do you say that?" Alucard asked.

"I...told her...about what I am... And she didn’t even try...didn’t want to understand..."

Alucard fell silent, found no words to express what he felt. But he knew what he had to do; he had to be part of what they both needed. Could love really be so wrong? Should he really keep himself from loving, when he knew what this man made him feel? When he knew what Richter felt for him...could he really reject him?

...I never shall forgive myself for doing this...but, how could I resist..? he thought, before putting his hands on Richter’s face, pulling him close, and then, he kissing him carefully.

Richter melted against his soft, cold lips, and pressed himself closer against that comforting embrace, gripping at the soft fabric of his shirt.

"Alucard ..." he gasped, breaking free from the lock on his lips, "...what are y-..?" but Alucard silenced his questions with another kiss, running his hands up and down Richter’s back in smooth, circuling motions.

"If you want to, I could lie down beside you. Hold you, if I may. Maybe it would calm your sleep..." he offered, and was glad to see that Richter’s face lit up with a tired smile. He nodded, and lay back down, watching as Alucard removed his boots and gloves. In spite of his lack of strength, Richter couldn’t help but try to hide what effect it had on him to watch Alucard undress before him. He watched Alucard closely as he removed his black leather pants, and turned around to lay himself beside him. He couldn’t stop the gasp from escaping his lips as he caught sight of Alucard’s chest beneath the slightly opened shirt.

"...hush. You rest now, Richter." he said as he slipped in under the comforter, and put his arms around Richter’s fever-quivering form, "Go back to sleep. I shalln’t leave you..." he whispered, and kissed Richter’s forehead.

"...I’m afraid, that now, I couldn’t go to sleep even if you put me under a spell..." Richter sighed, his cheeks reddened, ashamed that Alucard could have such an effect on him, only for the glimpse of his chest. Please, don’t let him notice! he begged, but to no avail. But, Alucard only smiled, and stroke his cheeks, before giving them a kiss each.

"If you cannot sleep, then just relax, and rest you mind and body so you will recover. One cannot participate in such nocturnal activities if there are marks of claws and gashes all over one’s torso and back."

Was there a smile hinted in that voice, or those eyes? Richter could only hope that he would once bear witness of that smile, which he was sure would be splendid. He wished it could have been some light in the room, except for the pale rays of the moon.

"..Alucard?"

"...hmm?"

"Why...why did you...kiss me?"

"... Because, I too, feel strongly for you. But, I am afraid that I don’t know what the future will bring if we continue exploring our feelings for each other."

"...No one knows that..." Richter replied, nuzzling Alucard’s neck, "We just... have to see where this leads us. As long as you don’t leave me, I couldn’t care less what happens."

"I’m glad you feel that way, Richter. Now, go to sleep..." before he had the chance to finish his sentence, he heard soft, calm breathing, and felt a steady heartbeat against his chest. Richter had already fallen asleep, and so, Alucard held him closer to his chest, and kissed his forehead, before closing his amber eyes, settling down in his arms.

Sweet dreams, my Love... Sweet dreams ...

 

[part 2]

[ BACK ]