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WHY I'M NOT A HISTORY MAJOR |
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I am not a history major. I am not a philosophy major. Why? Subjectivity. |
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So I walking to the Crow house the other day and I was thinking about why I'm a physics major. Why aren't I a humanities major? ITS FAKE. |
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Ok, it's not FAKE FAKE but its not really something that we can call "SCIENCE". Ok, i know what you're thinking, cause inevitably some 50% of the people who read this studied something other than physics or engineering or something, but look at it: History is a human convention. It seems awfully self centered to focus so much energy on the events of the last 4 millennia as though it were the only thing that happened EVER, FOREVER. English? Come on! What is English? HUMAN CONVENTION. It's only purpose is to communicate with other humans in order to get more food, safety, or love. Ah love. Put your finger on THAT! |
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Ok, so what is physics? Physics is the only thing that would survive on this rock if every major informational institution were to be hit by a thermo nuclear warhead. Physics would be the only thing here after the Chinese develop warp drives and sail away to Alpha Centuri while simultaneously nuking the Earth from orbit (it's the only way to be sure). |
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Finally: Ok, so here's the thing:
I am a historian. I am also a Nazi. The Nazi's are victorious in my alternate universe. The whole world pretty much sucks, and Hitler's 4th clone is curently funding me on a new history text for the standardized school system that blankets the globe. The back cover reads "In this thrilling text's 5th edition, the authors go into more detail of the treachery behind the Iron curtain that was the Atlantic ocean during the War of Emancipation." Welcome to history, President Frankiln.
Now I am a quack Voodoo Scientist. I live somewhere in the middle of New mexico where i have secluded myself for nearly a decade. Welcome to my press conference. "Yes, you see I have discovered that when spun at super sonic speeds, water mixed with ordinary table salt formes a state so volitile that the only other source of energy greater than it would be matter/antimatter interaction! I AM A GENIOUS! THE WORLD ENERGY PROBLEMS ARE SOLVED...FOREVER!"
Whats the difference? Punchline:
The Nazi kids buy it and have to. The scientists of the world build one or two centifugal water generators, then quickly disembowl Senior Crackpot with a sugar spoon. |
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