Maintaing a Happy, Healthing relationship with a Transsexual
In the 30 years of life that I have thus far committed to this earth, and the 15 that I have chosen to live my life as a male to female transgendered woman, I have dated alot of men some that were not good for me at all, and yes even some I thought were too good for me, I have chosen to write things of my own observations, of the typical Transsexual and Male matting habbits. Most of my findings come from plain old common sense, and others from hardcore life experience.
Enjoy and I hope you learn something, Good luck and happy dating!
*This is not subject to any psychological or social behavioral studies, but infact an expressed opinion of said webpage ower.
-Monika Veliz
Well again.. another loaded question.. Sex should ideally be shared when two people have connected...on some level or another.. and not because one is hot and or both. Take note that sex should be, because the mind is the ultimate conduit to who you are sharing that time with...and physical features should actually be the added bonus. unfortuantely today we have taught ourselves that it is ok.. to couple up.. or even have a breif affair simply because the other person is just hot or good looking.. "I can't pass that up"!!!, when all to many times sadly.. you end up wishing you had... in the long run.
Remember.. that transsexuality is a lifestyle not sexual prefference. I happen to know of a 47 yearold transgendered woman, mtf that is a virgin.. to all things. male and female. We will call her "Rosie" when asked, Rosie commented that .. "Sex had always seemed difficult enough to me, the actually thought of it. Whom to date, Why I should date, what parts go where, these were my thoughts even before I transitioned to female. The thought of being pleased, and actually pleasing someone seemed like a huge responsiblity.. one I have never wanted to take on, and now that I live my life as female..I find sex even more difficult."
The question remains should you have sex on the first date.. if you feel the vibe is overwhelming, that this would be such a seed (no pun) for what is to come. Then I would say go for it. At the end of the day.. you are two consenting adults. But that is speaking Humanly.
If I were to speak logically.. then I would have to say no, do not have sex on the first date...even though I have, and am sure most people who gets a tingle down stairs..lol. It falls back to those words of wisdom from your mom..."if it is that important...and you think she/he is the one then WAIT! until you know for certain."
lots of "pretend relationships" have started from sex on the first date...the upswing to sex is that it feels good.. you get to get off, and you get to see someone else besides yourself naked for a change. The down swing is that.. sometimes.. you have very little paitience for watching sex develop, into a comfortable intimacy, and you say things during the act that you don't mean. For most humans.. if it is bad the first time.. the chances of a repeat performance is next to never. In the case of Males and Transsexuals.. there are certain unspoken requirements.. to what they would call "good sex".. usually he wants her to look like what he has imagined jacking off to for years...by watching porn. (that is his fuck up, when all actuallity he is probably less than what an acutal porn star would accept or sleep with in the real world lmao, so its unfair to her for him to place those expectations and pressure as a guideline.). And for her...it is usually his abilty to be open.. to being top or bottom.. putting up very little resistance in either direction.(which is her fuck up.. because she should tend to the fact that he just might be very inexperienced...and should take her time with him, she usually likes a man with a big cock...which is stupid..because 95% of preop TS women are either non functional, or has shrank beyond the point of actually calling it a penis).
As for the things that you say in the heat of the moment...sure it is good to say "yeah baby, spank that ass" but it is without a doubt wrong to stop in the middle and ask him is this going to turn into a relationship). For him it is good to say.. "yeah baby you like that dick" but absolutely wrong to submit to an answer to her question.. meerly because you think to much talking will take away from..the pleasure point in which you are trying to achieve. take note that Transsexuals have nothing to loose, they don't have a vagina.. (most). They can't concieve children...nothing that would make and dare I use the words "force or trap" a man to commit..so all they have is his word. Males DO NOT, commit to something.. in the heat of passion... that would file you under the category as one of those men who manipulate to get what they want.
In short Gang.. DON'T FUCKING DO IT! wait, and take your time.. to get to know that person..I promise you that sex between a TS and a man..is the most beautiful act of envoking all that is .."The Gods". it is a gift and should not be taking lightly, or used for temporary tranny fixes of satisfaction....go buy a Shemale porn instead... you will find it is less of a headache..lol.
FOR HIM::
Well that is an easy one. Other than a few states known to me.. such as California, New York, Florida, and Pennsylvania, and Nevada, there really aren't alot of clubs strictly dedicated to the TS female.. where you can actually go to mingle with only that gender. I find this very Unfortuante...considering how many of us there really are through out the country. My suggestion would be if you are in an area where there are very few Clubs, let alone TG clubs; to frequent Gay clubs (with the intent of meeting and mingling with TGs). When approaching this situation.. you must go in with an openmind, chances are there will be gay men there.. who for some reason.. feel every man that walks into the bar is up for grabs.. which is sort of thier right.. they are gay.. and afterall it is a Gay club. When appoached do not freak out...acknowledge that the territory is a shared space...for TGs and Gay men... simply tell them that you are straight...and move on.. or if you are really smart... you will stand there hold a conversation with them.. show them that you respect their choice and though difference in preference, you can still be a human being capable of hold ing a conversation... you will find.. that gay men are extreamly respectful of a straight man's choice to seek out Tgirls....and most likely...9 out of 10 gay males.. have very close friends that are TS or know someone who could actually become your gf or wife...as in this lifestyle... Gay men are "familiars" to TS women.. like a cat to a witch,(just a comparison) LMAO. In short a "Gay club" shared by TS women, drag queens, lesbiens, and Gay men.. is definetly a chain reactive network. There for you need to be mindful of this next step....-
The Do's and Don'ts to entering this situation to find your mate.
DO go in with an open mind to be come friends with whomever you come in contact with...and enjoy the experience.
DO NOT go in under the impression that you will find a TS to take home with that night.
DO go in mingle with a few girls...or find one in general...to have a drink with chat for a while and say "Hey I will catch you around, or maybe we can dance later"
DO NOT...touch her, fondle, or attempt to touch her anywhere, you would not want a man to touch your mother, daughter, sister in a public place. despite.. how she present herself...she may very well be the easy type, and show it very upfront....show her that this is not your purpose for being there.. and keep your distance at all time.
DO have a variety of people to target conversation.. not just TS women, the more inviting you are to this new network.. the more people will notice you.. and take an interest...this requires you to be a little out going.. for you wall flowers.
DO NOT think.. to show up to this collective, or watering hole.. once every 6 months, and be observed by said collective...to take a different tg/dragqueen, or anything with a skirt you think might have a penis home..everytime you show up.. as you will indefinetly be labeled a "Tranny chaser" or a "Trick" these type of men almost never last in the collective, and easily targeted and casted out by not just TS women.. but by gay men.. you will loose respect extremely fast and easy.
DO slowly fold yourself into the collective over time, so that your choice to be with a TS is seen as; not some tranny fix or need, but a want, there for opening your choices...to a more selective..group of women...sort of getting to know them.. by not knowing them...(this requires you to be a small dective..and the best dective work is done by talking to people, finding out what the person that has caught your eye may be like...or just sitting and watching..NOT STALKING.. JUST PAY ATTENTION).
Well this is a loaded question, with many different results...There are TS women who are looking for the Gold, no, not money.. but the man that is going to be in a committed relationship who posess all the things she seaks, companionship, love, attractivness, and yes even the stability of finances.. Just as you find it hard to find a girl who is not "a working girl". a Transsexual finds it just as difficult to find her mate, usually hitting every tranny chaser, troll, and preditor branch..on the "no good, waste of time ugly tree"
From personal experience..I have obtained four boyfriends.. (yes men that I actually called my boyfriend, and they called me thier Girlfriend)...and they have never worked out. I now realize that those men were the very preditors that I warn you about heignsight is 20/20) . Ladies you must never loose sight of your goals.. as far as what you seek in a man...and Men you must not loose focus of the girl you hope to have something meaningful with). Every force of energy and thought has its negative counterpart..including the movtives of men and transsexuals. We as a Women are not that much different than our evolutionary predicessor the GG(Genetic Girl). Our weakness is that we Love to be in Love, more than anything in the world, and sometimes the idea of being accepted for our difference, (or what I like to call "man's next Evolution jump") by a mate, a partner, giving us everything we hope for and crave once we begin our transistion.. "NORMALITY"
Men on the net, when it comes to TS women.. have learned to be extremely maniplutive when it comes to getting what they want and have learned to exploit our greatest weakness.. which is the hopes of something natual, and something real, all for thier TS fix. From promising a relationship..to telling you, you are the only TS online he chats with.. from..actually entering a relationship...this type of male takes, "Why by the milk, when you have the cow" to a whole other level. It would be one thing if they actually took care of the cow, appreciated it..and all it had to offer, but most of the time.. they are seeking on other ranches..LMAO. As most men are so whacked out by thier own fettish.. that evenutally they can no long decipher the difference between right and wrong... and we are usually left holding the bag. Some men have accepted this behavior as just "who they are" non-committal, and and for lack of having to explain thier on "risky" promiscuity...they simply say.. "I just like alot of fun, without strings attatched"
Men, When it comes to TS women online.. understand that this flaw in men can be easily recognized, as the average TS is bombarded with Instant messeges, emails, from tranny chasers all over the world....I think like the steps of evolution..where a species adapts to its enviornment..grows a thicker skin for shelter, or camouflage, or in short PROTECTION.. we have also learned to manipulate the situation.. to our benifits...or in most cases.. Benefactors. There are some TS women out there that is so fed up.. that the moto becomes "use before you get used". If you want to get her attention.. stray away from the subject of sex.. as long as possible...months...if possible.. it never ceases to amaze me.. that the majority of men.. that IM me.. start out by saying.. "Hey, you are gorgeous, would love to get to know you"... then its followed five minutes later.. with a "how big is your cock"? It is your own doom that a girl moves to impliment some type of money, or show no respect for you right off the back... because you have been "made". She knows what your real intent is.. and what it that you actually seek..so again.. the moto is "get him before he gets me" instead of most men admitting to the fact that they fucked up with the approach.. they write the tgirl off as just being jaded or a man hater....i find this hilarious at times, as men do with us as they have done with GG's through out history.. attempt to beat us into submission...by getting us to think that feeding thier needs are more important than ours.. However.. our genetic four-mothers, lacked what we have....a zero tolerance on a man's ensaitable need to think with his penis. and calls him on it every time.
I don't condone either or...though I understand this behavior.. at the end of the day.. the answer is simple.. two wrongs do not make a right.. and SIMPLY DON'T DO IT.
