Acknowledgments: Jacque-san for pointing out the plot-holes, I really appreciate that. ^________________^

3. the apple
 
 

Isn't that I am only human who
Can be led astray and tempted too
Can you remove this from me that I learn to love you
In every moment we borrowed

                            "Hiram" by Zsa Zsa Padilla

"Borrowed" translated by silrayn silverwolf  
  Ran watched in apprehension as Crawford pressed the phone's auto-dial to call on Schuldich. He had seen it and tensed. He really hated these nights when they waited for the rest of Schwartz to come home from a mission. Waiting to see if his lover was okay. There were times when he wished he didn't retire. He knew it would have given Kritiker a litter of kittens if he had turned around from retirement and joined Schwartz in their missions. And that was the only reason why he had refrained. He didn't want to be chastised and risk being reintegrated into that organization. He hated the suspense, of not knowing if it were the last night he'd see the man who had become the center of his life in these few months. He hated the helpless feeling of not being able to do anything to affect the outcome.

The phone rang on unanswered. Crawford pressed redial, still no answer. Oracle pressed to find another number.

"Prodigy, look for Mastermind, he might be hurt. He's not answering the phone." Crawford said urgently. Ran tensed up at these words.

Something's happened to Schuldich. Who could have hurt him, he's faster than average. He's a telepath, for goodness sake, no one could try to harm him without alerting him…

"Call me back to tell me what happened, immediately." Crawford added, looking at Ran with obvious sympathy. The click of the phone was unnaturally loud in the growing silence.

"What did you see?" Ran asked as he stood up to pace the length of the room. He had to fight the urge to rush to the garage to get a car and go to the scene of the mission.

"A very bad vision." Crawford replied, fidgeting a bit with his tie.

"Hn." Ran put every ounce of worry in that grunt.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure it shouldn't be so bad, Schuldich is fast and he does have some advantages." Crawford said as if reading Ran's mind.

"Hn." Ran increased his pace a bit. He was really worried now.

Crawford's never tried to reassure me before. Whatever he saw must have been very bad…

***

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure it shouldn't be so bad, Schuldich is fast and he does have some advantages." Crawford said. Knowing as he said the words that they were wrong. And that it was bad…

Very bad indeed… It must have happened while I was enjoying myself in Ran's arms… I should have called immediately, I shouldn't have hesitated…

Crawford knew that he might have caused Schuldich's death by his hesitation and felt guilty about it. However, he admitted to himself that at least one part of him was rather happy at the circumstances.

Now, the way is clear to Ran's affections. Without Schuldich, I don't have to restrain myself anymore… I can have him without having to fight for him. He's vulnerable now he should be easy to win over… I could… What am I thinking? I am not even sure of the fact that Schuldich is dead and I am drooling over Ran like a vulture already…

***

Crawford's cellular phone rang after an eternity of time. He answered it.

"Prodigy?" Crawford asked into the phone. The phone stuck to slack fingers by miraculous means as Crawford put it down slowly.

"What did Nagi say?" Ran demanded. He couldn't stand the suspense any longer.

"Schuldich is dead." Crawford said, sympathy pooling in blue eyes.

"Schuldich is… Schuldich is…" Ran said, stunned. He stumbled into the chair opposite of Crawford's. He was unable to believe. No matter how he had steeled himself for anything that might have happened he wasn't prepared to hear this particular news.

He can't be. He's fast, he's telepathic, he's experienced…

Ran felt Crawford's arms around him, hesitant and waiting. The sympathy in the tentative hug was hard to deny. He allowed the other to embrace him entirely, allowing the tears to come on their own accord.

***

Crawford felt the man relax into him. The redhead started to cry silent tears into his shoulder. Quiet sobs shook the slender frame that felt so fragile in his embrace.

An hour passed, then two, another eternity.

I will take care of him for you, Schuldich. He is mine now. No matter how I got him. It would be worst to let him alone. After what I did…

"Are you going to be okay?" The words dropped out of Crawford's mouth almost on their own accord as the sobs subside to a subtle shaking. He pulled a bit away to see Ran's expression. Purple eyes were luminescent with tears still unshed but the face that harbored them were composed.

"I want to see him…" Ran said, inhumanly calm.

"They'll have him in the morgue, tomorrow." Crawford said.

"No, I want to see him now." Ran said again.

"Fujimiya…"

"I want to see him before…"

"Fujimiya, no…tomorrow." Crawford insisted, sensing that the man was close to breaking.

I can't let him see the body before it's cleaned up. He's not taking it very well. He's taking it too calmly. He'll lose his grip on reality…

"Damned it, Crawford, I've seen dead bodies before."

"Not of your lover. You're going to bed that's what you're going to do." Crawford said firmly, hustling Ran to the bedroom the man had shared with Schuldich cringing a bit at this piece of necessity but there wasn't any other place for the redhead to stay in.

***

"No, I can't stay in there…" Ran realized where Crawford was hustling him to and protested. It was true. He couldn't stay in their room and wait, knowing that Schuldich wasn't coming back. That he won't have the warm lanky body beside him. That he would never play with the German's long orange hair ever again. That he would no longer hear that beloved voice, huskily teasing him… It would be unbearable to stay in the room with only memories for company, at least not tonight…

"Okay, then." Crawford said, steering him before he could get to the door of the dreaded bedroom. He faced another door.

"This is…" Ran said in surprise.

"My room." Crawford said.

"But…"

"You're too wound up to stay in your room. It's the least I can do."

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it." Crawford said. He pushed Ran gently to the bed and closed the door to give the redhead some privacy.

***

They were up the second floor hallway when Crawford realized that Ran was too unstable to stay in the room the other redhead had shared with Schuldich. In a flash of inspiration, he had directed their steps at the last instant to his room instead.

"You're too wound up to stay in your room. It's the least I can do…" After what I did to you. Crawford had said carefully not letting the rest of it out.

He led the dazed man into the room and gently pushed the redhead into the bed and closed the door against his inclinations. The pale redhead looked so lost on the pastel blue bedspread of Crawford's bed. He wanted to make sure that Ran was going to sleep. He wanted to comfort the redhead. He wanted to curl by the bewildered young man and take the latter into his arms. He did none of these things. He went back down to curl on the living room couch to sleep.

I must be very careful. He mustn't suspect a thing… I must take it slow as if I have only discovered that I want him. I mustn't give him any indication otherwise…or I…I will lose him before I can have him.

***

"Fujimiya, it's time for us to go." Crawford said into the room. He walked in when there was no answer and saw that redhead was curled up in a fetal ball wrapped in the blue blankets. He put one hand onto one shoulder and gently shook the younger man. Dazed purple eyes opened slowly and the lithe body uncurled slowly to sit up. Crawford could see that Ran hadn't changed from the rumpled shirt and jeans he had worn during their night watch.

This is not good…

"First things first. You've got to change out of those clothes and eat some breakfast." Crawford said in a businesslike tone of voice. He took refuge in the tone when he'd like no better than to embrace the man again.

Crawford went into the bathroom and ran a warm bath. When there was enough water in the tub, he helped the redhead out of the latter's clothes and into the warm water. It took him some concentration to do so. Having the warm body he had been fantasizing for long so near yet so far had him almost lost control. He stripped Ran of his boxers and supported the redhead so that he could get into the water with the least awkwardness. The redhead didn't protest but started to mechanically sponge himself with soap under the precog's watchful eyes.

Crawford took some time in helping the silent man rinse the soap off and select something to wear to the morgue. He doubted if it mattered to the traumatized redhead what he wore but it mattered to Crawford. Somehow it mattered that the swordsman be well dressed in this last farewell to the German telepath that had been the man's lover and beloved for so long.

Guilt tripping… Schuldich is beyond caring…how he looks but I care. I care that he doesn't stint himself just because… Schuldich wouldn't have wanted it if he was still alive but he isn't because I hesitated…that's why I must care.

***

Ran walked in a fog of disbelief too preoccupied to care where he was going. He still couldn't believe that Schuldich had died. He briefly noted that he passed Nagi who had a tight-lipped expression of grief on his face and a rather subdued Farfarello on his way to the door of the house. He couldn't have told what he had eaten something vaguely cereal-like that Crawford kept pushing one more spoonful for. The drive to the morgue was a blur of color, barely noticed. Then he was walking in beige corridors smelling vaguely of chemicals and death. Death that he had lived with for most of his adult life.

Then Ran was there and they were uncovering his face…and the truth long denied can no longer be held off.

Ran looked on the face that was so beloved, so still in death. The perpetual smirk was softened, unnaturally absent for the first time. Not even in sleep was Schuldich this still. The liveliness and the teasing, insinuating voice were silent forever. The wild hair tamed to some semblance of order. He reached out to touch the sharp, vulpine face and touched the coldness of death. He bent forward to kiss the lips so deathly red and was not kissed in return. This was no fairy tale where the loved one could be awakened with a kiss. Schuldich was gone forever from him. There in that sterile room, Ran came face to face with the cold truth and his tears began to fall anew.

***

"This isn't good for him and he's all we have left of Schuldich." Nagi said.

"Suffering hurts God." Farfarello replied, half-heartedly. He seemed to take Schuldich's loss as hard as the other Schwartz members.

"What do you want me to do? He loved Schuldich and great though my powers are, I can't bring back the dead. I have even tried to bring him to Weiß in desperation, nothing works." Crawford replied. The need to be careful was getting on his nerves but he still wasn't about to blow it.

Though this seems to be the opening that I've been waiting for…

"Well, think of something. You're the leader." Nagi said, forgetting their relative ranks and ages for the moment.

"I think Fujimiya Ran needs someone to comfort him until he can get on with his life." Crawford said, taking the gambit.

"Comfort hurts God." Farfarello echoed.

"Then do it. I certainly don't know how to go about it." Nagi said impatiently.

"Aa." Crawford assented.

Now I have everyone's blessing, no one will suspect a thing…

***

Ran knew that Schwartz was talking about him. They had told him to go to the room he had shared with Schuldich that was emptier than ever. He just didn't care anymore. The concern Schwartz surprised and touched him, it reminded him of Weiß but he couldn't seem to bring himself to care. He remembered, distantly, how he had met Weiß and Aya-chan to be met with hugs and affection but he couldn't stay with them.

***

"Ran-niichan we heard from Crawford how Schuldich died. It must be awful for you." Aya-chan said as she hugged Ran.

"Aa." Ran replied.

"Condolences." Youji drawled giving his old friend a tight hug.

"Aa."

"You look like hell." Ken blurted out with his usual tact.

"Aa."

"We had our differences but I could have forgiven him all of it when he made you happy, Ran-kun." Omi said.

"Aa."

"Ran, are you all here?" Youji asked tentatively.

"Aa."

A chorus of are-you-all-right's was met with the same blank mechanical answer.

What else was there to say? How would it feel when your life that had been so wrong were put to right then everything should suddenly go horribly wrong?

They all babbled a bit at him and at each other then…

"He's still shell shocked." Someone said finally, Ran really didn't care who it was.

"I think it's time for Ran to go home." Crawford said, his hand suddenly warm on Ran's.

"Hey, wouldn't Ran-kun be better off with us. We're his friends after all." Omi protested and a whole argument erupted between Weiß and Crawford.

No, I'm not ready to let go yet. I can't…

To go back to Weiß meant to accept that Schuldich was dead and gone and Ran couldn't do that. He needed to stay in their room and pretend for just a little while.

A little while…till I can accept that he is truly gone…

"And we were Schuldich's te-friends. We'll take care of him." Crawford said, calmly.

"Here now…" Youji took up the protest.

"I will be going back with Crawford." Ran said, finally dredging up some energy from somewhere.

"Ran, you're not in your right mind. Aya surely you won't let your brother go with these people. We hardly trust them." Ken pleaded.

"We will take care of Ran." Crawford said, directing the statement to somewhere on the couch where Aya-chan sat.

"You will promise?" Aya-chan asked softly.

"Aa. I promise." Crawford said.

"Well, there is no argument. Ran wants to go back." Aya-chan said with a stubborn set to her jaw. The whole room erupted into argument but Ran had been taken out to Crawford's waiting car so that he didn't hear anymore.

***

Aya-chan had grown up while he wasn't looking. Ran thought rather distantly. His thoughts were so disconnected that they felt like they belonged to another person.

She doesn't need me anymore… Weiß has their own life… I had mine. No one needs me anymore. No one cares. This all feels so unreal... Schuldich…

Then he heard the door open…

"Fu-Ran, are you there?"

"Aa." Where else?

"You need someone to talk to?"

"Aa."

"Come on, Ran stop doing that."

"Aa."

Before Ran knew it he felt himself being gently lifted to a sitting position.

"It was hardly the end of the world. You're still alive. I'm sure Schuldich will have a cat wherever he is now if he saw you." Crawford said, taking off Ran's boots as he did so. Ran had no energy to take them off most of the time and now slept with them on.

"Aa."

"You're cold, wouldn't you mind if I warmed you up a bit?"

"Aa."

"I thought so."

Ran found himself being enveloped in a comforting hug and almost against his will, he felt the tears making tracks down his cheeks.

"There, there, cry it all out." Crawford said. The warmth touched something that seemed to have cooled to Antarctic ice the day Schuldich died. Ran fell into sound sleep for the first time in many nights.

When had Crawford started to call him by his first name...?

~TBC~

Author's Notes:

* Biblical reference - David and Bathsheba. Old Testament, Book of Samuel 11:1. King David was walking on the roof of the palace when he saw a beautiful woman bathing. He found the woman to be Bathsheba, daughter of Eliam, wife of Uriah the Hitite. He had the woman brought to him. He made love to her and got her pregnant. He then get Uriah killed with an order to his general to put the poor man in front and leave him there by withdrawing. He marries Bathsheba afterwards.

Something rather close to this story, ne?

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