IV.   Drawing Out

Cracks on the plaster. Sometimes they seem to form a pattern, other times they seem to be completely chaotic. Cracks, I wonder if I could disappear in them, just vanish in the darkness.

Ran was staring at the ceiling tracing the small cracks in the plaster. He had mapped the entire ceiling and was plotting each and every crack on the painted surface.

Tracing the cracks, seen from the distance they formed an aimless pattern… Going no where, ending no place… Just like my life…

More than eight months had passed since the night of the Rite. Since he hadn't been able to protect Her, Aya-chan, his innocence and his purpose for living. He hadn't been even allowed to have the chance.

***

Weiß had made short work of the Elders with Ran's surreptitious help. His subtle but mind muddling attack had succeeded against all expectations. The Elders hadn't had a chance to use their formidable psychic abilities against the White Hunters. Only one was left still living and that oversight was soon to be corrected as he was being strangled by Balinese' wire. It was time to deal with erstwhile teammates. Ran turned to find Oracle looming over him. The American wore an indecipherable look on his face and pointed a gun at him. That was his only warning, a second later he felt the sting of a tranquilizer dart graze his arm. Crawford's cold blue eyes were the last thing Ran saw as he descended into darkness.

***

"So you're awake…" Ran heard through the fuzziness as he opened his eyes.

"Hn?" Ran murmured as he started to reorient himself. The bed was familiar and so was the wall. He was back in his room in the Schwartz safe house.

"I am here to inform you that your sister is dead. We cannot allow Weiß to use her as a hostage for your good behavior after all." Oracle said in a very neutral voice.

"…" Frantically Ran tried to comprehend what this was about.

Something must have gone very wrong…

"I assure you that she didn't feel any pain whatsoever."

"What?" Ran was having a hard time understanding any of this.

"She was terminated as a liability, Sensitive." Crawford rose from where he was sitting to leave a stunned and very bewildered Ran.

Terminated…terminated…executed…killed…dead…no…

"Ie…" The word broke and Ran barely knew he was the one repeating it over and over as wave upon wave of memories and grief came to overwhelm him.

A little vivacious girl with dark eyes alight trying her best to avoid being fed her nutritious but less than tasty lunch. Her squeals and protests when she was caught… The same young girl with her curls in a decorous braid, she wore a party dress and was reasonably well behaved as they sat with the other children in the grownup party.

Ran-nichan, don't frown so, your face will get stuck in that way…

Ran-nichan, U’s love Aya-chan doesn’t he?

Ran-nichan, can I fish for a gold fish…or maybe buy a little paper lantern?

The little girl, in pigtails, asking about her homework, skipping to school, helping with the dishes… The girl growing into the gawky phase of being not quite a woman, not quite a child… All sunny smiles and cheery disposition… Then the explosion that silenced the twinkling laughter and sparkling eyes for a time, only for a time, she would wake up, she would…she must…and now…and now…

Except Aya-chan will never wake up…never again…she's dead…

Just take good care of your sister, ne?

Sorry 'tousan, 'kaasan…I failed you, I failed Aya-chan…

All alone, Ran whimpered and hot tears began to fall.

***

Cracks…

"Fujimiya, Crawford wants you in his office." Schuldich said smirking a little as he said it.

"Hn." What else was there to do? Ran rose to go to see what Crawford wanted.

***

"Tot died. Nagi has completely withdrawn." Crawford said.

"Huh?"

"Would you try to talk sense into Prodigy?"

"Of course." You have to be strong for Nagi's sake…

***

"Crawford, when are you going to claim your toy? Aren't you a bit jealous of Nagi?" Schuldich taunted. Schuldich came into the office as always making the room "his" for the moment, it was what he did all the time. The license of long partnership kept Crawford from tossing him out or worse, it also excused the occasional insubordination.

Sensitive had sunk into depression once he had found his sister dead, Crawford's lesson in loyalty. He had seemed to tamely obey Crawford's every order and to submit to precog's demands as his penance for his failure. The death of Tot by complications of the experimentation done by Takatori Masafumi was somewhat heaven sent in it's own way. Nagi crumpled under the blow of his girlfriend's death, turning suicidal even. This had made Fujimiya emerge from his own grief to deal with his "little" brother's. Fujimiya now stayed in Nagi's bedroom more often than not to help the teenager cope with this most recent loss. Schuldich was interested to know how things stood with Crawford, was the American going stir crazy for lack of sex?

God knows he has a normal sex drive…

Crawford just hammered away at the keyboard of his laptop, pretending to ignore Schuldich. Schuldich knew better from experience though and decided to hammer in another taunt.

"Or maybe he'll go back to Ouka? That hotheaded Weiß boy's got a crush on him as well…"

"It only helps cement Nagi's loyalty to this team." Crawford said looking up to give Schuldich an even stare. He might not show it but the American was starting to get annoyed, experience told the German that the only way he would react was when he was getting riled. The precog's shield and composure was perfect as always.

"What about Sensitive's loyalty or should I say Abyssinian's…" Schuldich had picked up that little code-name-to-be Frisking the Weiß minds.

"No question of that." Crawford said flatly.

"Maybe you should tell your 'lil red head lover that you love him…"

"Why should I? He'd know it wasn't true." Even tone didn't betray Crawford but his eyes were snapping cold fire, time to stop teasing him. Crawford's irritation level was getting to the point of retaliation.

"Just a thought. Don't let our empath to sulk too long." Schuldich said ending the game. He knew well enough not to push his luck. Crawford may act like the redheaded iceberg at times but the latter had a temper of a volcano and less control than the empath. He rose to depart and leave the precog to ponder his pointed words.

***

Schuldich made sure there was no around his room or in the hallway before he entered his room. A paranoid habit garnered from Estet days, he knew he thought rather loudly at times and inadvertently broadcast his thoughts. Good the kid and the iceberg's still in the kid's room, the psycho is in his straight jacket while the stick-in-the-ass boss is still in the office, good. Despite the impersonal way he termed his teammates, Schuldich knew better than to pretend that he hadn't cared a jot about them. Unlike a certain precog who didn't seem to grasp the fact that people living together for any sort of time would form attachments beyond loyalty. There was always the tendency to form a pack similar to those of wolves Schuldich had read about in his childhood. A bit of concern seeps in there with the selfishness. And sexual bonds form the strongest tie of all…

Schuldich, despite his teasing to the contrary, had no intentions of sleeping with anyone from Schwartz least of all Sensitive. He'd rather play with less risky toys, several blocks of C4 explosives come to mind. Whatever teasing he had done in that direction was for the benefit of the precognitive who was extremely possessive of his boy toy. He didn't want the eventual tie that would form no matter how tenuous it would be. The Schwartz were already teammates, more might tip the scales to something he couldn't control. And Ran Fujimiya was a dangerous one to get involved in. He was, the telepath reflected, one of those who could be compared to those hard-shelled candies. Those were hard on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside. The challenge presented by the hard exterior usually lured the unwary then the vulnerability of the inner person made one protective, a really dangerous combination. One that could addict a person into committing more than he had planned as had evidently happened to Crawford.

Oracle could protest all he liked but Schuldich knew better. The precog had already tolerated more rebellion from the empath than he would have done had things been otherwise besides there was that scene during the interrupted ceremony…

***

Fujimiya was about to turn his powers on Schwartz as he had done to the Estet Elders but Crawford had prevented it by shooting the younger man with enough tranquilizers to knock the latter out for a day or so. Oracle had caught the unconscious man before Sensitive could crumple to the floor. It was a practical move, the empath could hardly be any use to anyone if he accidentally cracked his skull on the floor, but it was more than that. Crawford had done the deed with an almost gentle gesture that was so alien it almost made Schuldich forget what he was suppose to do. The telepath barely managed to shoot the comatose girl in the head before Weiß could leave with her.

Crawford had laid Fujimiya out in the backseat in an ordinariness that shouldn't have startled anyone except that, fuck, it was Crawford! Crawford who normally tossed an injured teammate on the backseat of their escape vehicles often enough that Schuldich expected it. Schuldich had experienced --and survived-- the tossing in himself. Schuldich had half-expected Crawford to fuss over Ran on the tortuous road back to the safe house from the way things turn out. However, Oracle was back in control and acted as unflappable as ever.

***

Crawford had been one of the most coldly temperamental of many team leaders of Estet. The only reason he hadn't been terminated for this behavior because he exhibited a phenomenal success rate when it came to missions. He had a tendency to use up team members at a rate that matched his success record. Impatient and uncaring of the well being of the individual members, caring only of the welfare of the team, Crawford lost teammates fast and frequently. Schuldich was the exception, he had managed to survive Crawford's demanding ways and had seen at least two "generations" get used up. This was his third pass with Crawford. They worked well enough together so that he became the constant in Schwartz.

Crawford ignored Schuldich's idiosyncrasies in return for the results the German produced. Somehow to they found a symbiotic relationship that went beyond the boss-subordinate, not quite friends but not quite acquaintances either. Maybe partners? Closer to being pack mates, and this round of Schwartz was different.

Crawford's perfectionism mellow down to something more bearable and the precog was more settled in his role of leader with this group despite Farfarello's intransigent insanity, Nagi's teenage rebellion and Fujimiya's dogged outside loyalty. And yes, while he was at it, Schuldich might as well give coherent thought to the concepts that seem to nag at him now. Schwartz' current organization was rather like a wolf pack, Oracle was the alpha male, Sensitive, the alpha bitch, Berserker, the omega, Prodigy, the pup, and him, the beta wolf, quite the perfect symmetrical pack. Schuldich smirked at the thought though he acknowledged it to be true. This group felt more home than ever for both of them and they would preserve it for their own selfish reasons. It was a goal they both agreed to pursue though now that Schuldich thought of it, Crawford was a bit off on that. Emotions were getting in the way.

Schuldich was almost certain that Crawford had fallen for the empath, fallen hard. Oracle was showed all too well that his judgment was impaired when the other redhead was concerned. This situation for instance, Schuldich had agreed that Fujimiya's sister Aya-chan was a liability as long as she had been in enemy hands. She was a factor that made Ran a weak link in the Schwartz chain. He had suggested that they put Aya-chan under Schwartz control but Crawford had overruled that saying that it would be better to exterminate the threat once and for all instead of letting it became a problem again. Good old efficient Oracle, except that there seems to be some other emotions underneath it all that prompted the action from the way the undercurrents in Crawford's insistence.

Methinks, great leader, that you hath protested too much…

***

"We should get her under our control then?" Schuldich said seriously for a change. He was making an important point and did not want to be taken lightly.

It took a full minute or so for Crawford to reply.

"No."

"What do you mean no?"

"It would be too much, it would give our enemies a stationary target to hit."

"So what do you suggest, let Sensitive defect on to Weiß?"

"No, we terminate the liability."

"Crawford! We won't keep Sensitive's loyalty if we do that."

"He will stay loyal or die."

"Crawford…"

"End of discussion."

***

Crawford, for all appearances, was behaving like his normal self unless you looked real close and see the gaps in the once impervious armor. The old Oracle wouldn't have hesitated or prevaricated as he had done, the latter would have ordered Schuldich and expected him to follow without question. Doubts have entered the perfect equation. Doubts, insecurity and jealousy, if Schuldich had read the situation right. With his experience in reading and manipulating people's heads, he didn't think so.

Crawford was trying to convince himself that he was still the efficient killing-machine by having the girl executed but there were also other deeper, more complex, motives. Fujimiya showed that he didn't trust Crawford by going over to Weiß and that must have hurt deeply, though since Crawford fully repressed the emotion he might not have even seen it himself. It wasn't less real for being unrecognized, however. Not that the American wanted to show that he was other than the Great Leader so why should Fujimiya trust Crawford with the "ambitious monster act" he was pulling. Crawford, on the other hand, showed classic signs of lethally possessive jealousy though he did his best to rationalize it.

Uh-uh, that may work with yourself Crawford-boy but not with me…

Crawford had gotten a taste of the care Fujimiya gave to his sister, albeit as an observer and wanted that same care while denying that he wanted it. He had convinced himself that it was nothing but lust. That the empath was nothing but a toy to play and break at whim. He didn't like Fujimiya associating with anyone at all and covered this very well with his "I-don't-like-associations-outside-the-team" attitude. The attitude was real enough, Schuldich knew, but a tad too overdone in the case of the empath. He encouraged the disruptions Schuldich and Farfarello did to the latter's relationship with Ouka with a hidden glee that was almost maniacal. With the insecurity, pain and denial fueling it, the jealousy was proving to be a green-eyed monster indeed… And was the addiction, love or plain obsession? Schuldich cannot quite answer the question. The welter of tangled emotions could destroy Crawford and, by default, Schwartz if they were not careful.

Schuldich laughed out loud at the irony that was Schwartz. The laugh was more of a bark of sarcasm than anything else and it sounded a little ragged around the edges but held appreciation for the tangled situation. Sometimes it didn't pay to become complacent.

***

In another part of the house…

Ran sighed over the Nagi who had fallen asleep at last after a bout of telekinetic tantrums and tears. He had no idea how to make the youngster feel any better. He remembered soothing a bereaved classmate once with his Gift but that would not help now. He could hardly do that; the risk was too great. The grief too close to what he himself felt. Unstable as his Gift was at times, to feel the same would risk losing oneself in the feelings. But Nagi's despair called to him, he needed to do something.

Damn it. Nagi is just too young to feel such soul-wrenching despair. He's younger than even Aya-chan. He should be worried about the entrance exams and girls not about killing people or having your girlfriend die on you because of her past. Oh well, just once…

Ran held onto his self-control and picked up the sleeping boy and gave him a brotherly hug. He directed his Gift to absorb as much of the gray anguish Nagi felt as he could as he had done once or twice for a grieving classmate in better days. Then slowly letting the kid down on the bed he walked out of the room into his to vent out the feelings that threatened to overwhelm him. Ran's steps were heavy as if he treading water, he felt like he was drowning in the cold gray liquid. His heart was slowing down, hopelessness could kill he knew and for once he was tempted to let it.

My sister's dead, my parent's are dead, I can't return to Ouka… Weiß would never be my friends if they were going to be…most of my teammates treat me as dirt… Even Nagi has given up... Why live, why? I don't have anyone, anything anymore to live for it… Why not die…

Then, from memory, a pair of implacable blue eyes stared at Ran through glasses and a sense of déjà vu came to him. Then his sight was graying into the final darkness as he had gone into the temporary one once before, but for some inexplicable reason he found himself holding on.

One more step…just one more step… It was like treading deep icy waters that tugged, like fighting against the current and gravity. Holding on course by a thin line that also bobbed and wavered with the pull of the waves. The cold could give psychic hypothermia if one wasn't careful, as real and as deadly as its real world counterpart.

He took the elevator to the penthouse level, stumbling into the night air. His legs were about to gave out when he judged it safe and let go of the emotions that threatened to bludgeon their way out of his skull. Panting from the exertion, Ran released the build up thankfully in an exhalation of breath. As his mind cleared, he was left to deal with the last memory. The memory that had acted as the line that had kept him from slipping into death. There was only one person he had known to have such steely blue eyes and that was… That was… That was Crawford.

Kami-sama, what could that mean?

~TBC~

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