Love and marriage, love
and marriage Go together like a horse
and carriage…
Love and
Marriage - Frank Sinatra
With a kick to the gas pedal,
Crawford tore out of Schwarz’ driveway and out into the roads. He wove
his way through the traffic as best as he could—which was to say he nearly
crashed into every car, truck and street sign in his way. Those unlucky
enough not to get out of his way quickly found themselves sideswiped. The
screech of tires and the honking of the vehicles around him bombarded him
at every twist and turn of the road…
…and he barely noticed them,
so entangled was he in the chaos within his mind.
How dare he? He fumed.
[1]
He's mine. He told me
he didn't have anyone else…
Crawford jerked the steering
wheel around and crushed the gas pedal in an attempt to throw off the red-hot
Miata trying to overtake him.
He wasn't lying. He couldn't
have been lying… I was his first.
He absently watched as the
loser, obviously out of control, spun up the sidewalk to rip the grass
out of some jerk’s lawn.
I will be his last. He
is mine…in everything but name. If I could convince him to go through a
ceremony, then even that would be satisfied…
The thoughts were an incoherent
blur.
I want…no need…to have
Aya all to myself…
Crawford knew he was obsessed.
Too bad that was all it was: obsession.
Not love.
He had never lied to the
redhead and didn’t intend to start. What he felt was a lust that would
burn for as long as he lived. He knew better than to mistake it for love.
It was just...
An obsession.
What else could it be?
***
"Run away with me Deirdre-love.
I don't think we need to wait for Keirney to hear about it, do we?" Rory
proposed.
"I suppose so," Deirdre replied
absently. The young woman looked absolutely ravishing in her gown, as always.
The blue satin clung to her full figure accentuating her breasts and tiny
waist. Delicate French lace trimmed the bodice, showing off that minimum
décolletage...
Delicious. However, I
can't wait to have the right to get it off her…
"Whatever's the matter, love?"
Rory asked, tearing his eyes away from her attributes.
"I'm just wondering if we're
doing the right thing," Deirdre sighed. For once, the mischievous sparkle
in her eyes was absent, clouded by uncertainty. The beginnings of a frown
creased her forehead.
"Don't fret, we love each
other. They have no right to try and keep us apart." Rory drew Deirdre
in his embrace, reveling at the slender body pressed so enticingly against
him and the fact that the lovely young woman was his.
Or at least, close to being
his… He frowned, remembering Lachlan.
He must the one behind
this change of heart. I would cheerfully challenge him to a duel if it
were not for the fact that it would cause a scandal and put stain on Deirdre's
honor. What with the rumors flying about…
Rory heartily despised the
man. What he’d do if he could challenge him to a duel…!
I'd shoot him out of hand...
A lovely idea, really, but
one that would probably end up getting him killed. Rory was damn good,
but Lachlan was no slouch either.
Best not chance it. Besides,
I want to feel his bones crack under my fists… The nerve of the man, trying
to take away Deirdre's good opinion of me…as if he weren't as much a rake
as I…
He tightened his hold on
Deirdre, cherishing the feel of her tiny frame against him as he remembered
the confrontation between them.
~*~
"Well, well, well, what do
we have here? McDuff, what's a scruffy bastard like you doing in a fine
ball like this one?" Rory felt his hackles rise at the sound of that insolent
baritone voice behind him.
"And blue-blooded boors are
welcome? Besides…" Rory turned slowly, his eyes lazy and full of menace.
[1] "What’s it to you, Kierney?"
"Nothing…as long as you're
not seeking my innocent cousin out." The threat in the blond man's voice
was almost a tangible force in the room.
It did nothing but annoy
Rory.
Who does he think he's
talking to?
Rory was quite unruffled.
He didn't need to be in the other man's good graces. After all, he was
in Deirdre's.
And that is all that matters,
truly…
"Stay out of it. It is none
of your affair."
"Damned if it's none o' my
affair. If you really care for her you would leave her be and let her find
a more suitable suitor. You are too jaded to make someone like her happy.
And the scandal is spreading already; stop it before her reputation is
ruined."
Rory looked the blond nuisance
up and down. His face abruptly darkened, rather like the approach of a
sudden thunderstorm in a summer's sky.
"You're a fine one to talk!
If you’re so worried about the scandal, why don’t you stay away from her
yourself?"
"Why are you so mule headed?"
Lachlan roared and threw a punch at Rory, a punch the man caught and held
easily.
"You’re calling me mule headed?"
Rory asked evenly.
It was a warning. Not surprisingly,
that warning fell on deaf ears. The blond glared at him, fiery blue eyes
meeting his smoldering brown ones in a collision of wills. Lachlan was
the first to look away.
"If it wouldn't cause more
scandal, I'd challenge you to a duel."
"My sentiments exactly."
Lachlan glared a bit more
at Rory before he turned on his heel and walked away muttering threats
of keeping Deirdre away from Rory under his breath.
~*~
The memory curdled in Rory's
stomach like sour milk, and he tasted bile in the back of his throat.
He can do it too, ask
for Deirdre and…
Rory paled so that he almost
matched the lace on his cravat.
I have to do something,
now…
"Run away with me, Deirdre.
Today. My coach is just outside. Run away with me. They can’t separate
us once we married."
"Aye, I guess so," Deirdre
assented dully, almost absently.
That seems to lack life.
Do you still love me or have they poisoned your heart against me?
***
"Ran, I know you're there.
Come out."
That voice...
Ran looked up from his can
of beer.
It sounded familiar...
"Ran!"
...and very annoyed.
That, Aya could discern even
through the thick, oak door. The knocks that followed were equally hard
and demanding. Thankfully, they soon ceased.
There was simply no more
door to knock on.
"Crawford, what in hell?"
The words burst out of Aya before he could stop himself. He stared at the
large, rectangular, brown piece of wood of what had once been a door. He
stared at the broken hinges still attached to it.
He wondered if he was hallucinating.
[1]
"Crawford, is it?" Yuushi
growled, putting himself between the Schwartz leader and his former teammate.
"Yuushi!"
"Ran, he's not getting his
filthy paws back on you."
Aya's amethyst eyes flashed
in anger.
Did he even listen?
"Yuushi, didn't you hear
a word I said? I. Was. Willing. Damn. It."
"You weren't; and that's
that. I'm not about to let you go off with him!"
"You don’t have much of a
choice, Crasher." Crawford smirked, calmly removing his glasses and folding
them neatly in a coat pocket. " I wonder if you’ll be able to do much after
you’re beaten senseless—"
"Just try it, Schwartz,"
the blond snarled.
Crawford flowed languidly
into his defensive posture.
"I see the Kritiker agent
did his research." Brown eyes glowed wolfishly as Crawford glared at Yuushi.
[2]
The blond [man] stood up
so quickly that his chair fell in a crash. He was as eager as the Schwartz
leader for this confrontation.
"Hah! Stay away from Ran.
I can beat you any day," Yuushi growled.
"Care to test that?"
They circled the room. Each
glared at his rival murderously, hate-filled eyes locked in a vicious battle
of will and strength.
Aya was starting to feel
just a little left out.
"Hn, don't I have some say
in this?"
After all, it is ME you’re
fighting over…
"Ie. You're mine, Ran. He
will not seduce you away from me," Crawford said, the venom in his voice
like ice.
"Ran is not your toy. I won't
have you playing your sick games with him," Yuushi replied hotly.
"Hn." Aya huffed in exasperation.
"You’re forgetting one thing--Yuushi,
is it? Ran is MINE. You have no right to him. And I’ll make sure you remember
that."
"Go ahead and try, Schwartz."
Things were definitely getting
out of hand.
Why don't they listen
to me if I'm that important to them?
They looked particularly
silly, glaring over Aya like he was some toy. Both of them reminded the
redhead of two unruly boys in the playground, fighting over some trifling
thing.
Aya felt like strangling
something at that moment.
Like the two men bickering
in front of him. [1]
What am I? Chopped liver?
Honestly, you’d think I weren’t present…
And that was at the heart
of the problem. He had considered going with Crawford just to prevent the
man from killing Yuushi but...
Could I really give myself
to someone…someone who doesn’t even treat me as a person?
Aya looked at the two would-be
combatants. At the brunette who professed to love him and at the blond
who swore to protect him at any cost. And he wondered...what exactly did
he feel for them?
Yuushi is my friend. I
don't want him to get hurt or killed just because Crawford's got the wrong
idea about us, and Crawford...Crawford...I don't--I don’t know--I can’t--I--
He looked, again, at the
American precog. Crawford glared at Yuushi, golden eyes narrowed. Those
sleek, toned muscles were tensed in a fighting stance. Aya was reminded
of a mantling falcon he had seen once in a documentary.
He's so fierce and proud…
I want to be with him but not at the cost of my friendship with Yuushi.
The thought astonished him
more than a little.
I want to be with him?
Where did that come from? I must be really mixed up… I need time and solitude
to sort this out…
"Ran, where are you going?"
Yuushi asked, startled to see the redhead walk towards the Schwarz assassin.
"He's coming with me. Do
you see now? There's nothing you can do," Crawford gloated contently as
Ran walked over to "his" side of the room. The surprise in the Schwartz
leader's expression was almost comical when Aya walked right pass him.
Aya halted in the doorway.
"Why don’t you two carry
on this conversation without me? You seem quite capable of it."
At least, they can’t quarrel
without me…
Somehow, Aya managed to get
out without either man stopping him.
They're probably still
fighting… Can't either of them think with something other than their hormones?
Not that Yuushi wants me but…he's so damn protective. Maybe I should've
stayed to prevent bloodshed, but it seemed so futile…
***
"Aye, I guess so," Dierdre
sighed. She played with the lace on her left sleeve. She knew she should
rejoice, having finally managed to wring a proposal from Rory, but...
I haven’t even known him
for that long.
Deirdre shifted her skirts
uneasily, inching away from Rory ever so slightly.
Well, ye asked for it,
Dierdre me lass. What will he do if you tell him that the only reason you
went out of your way to be with him is because you just wanted to defy
your father?
She played with a lock of
her red hair. It had fallen loose from her smooth chignon.
She did love him...
In a way…and I feel like
I’ve known him for years.
If Deirdre's dear
Papa had arranged it, she probably wouldn’t have met her perspective husband
until the marriage bed.
Oh well.
She knew they were dangerous
things, these thoughts. Dangerous to her coming union with Rory, that is.
She was just too honest to deceive Rory for long when doubt was concerned.
Maybe I shouldn’t marry
him if I have so many questions about us.
Yet…
Yet, it was just so tempting
to defy her stuffy old papa…
And Rory understands me…
Deirdre smiled, remembering…
~*~
It was another morning in
the park. Deirdre had escaped from her chaperone by ducking out early.
It was relatively safe since there were a lot of gentlemen and ladies doing
the same. Poor Deirdre had a turn trying to avoid them. She walked on the
pathway, admiring the blooms and waiting for Rory to come out.
"Well, well, well, what do
we have here…?"
Dierdre's heart skipped a
beat and her bright purple eyes widened to the size of saucers at the sound
of that familiar voice so close to her ear.
"Rory, ye nearly scared me
out of a year's growth."
"Apologies, my sweet, but
I thought you might want to ride on Pegasus or, mayhap, Apollo?"
Dierdre gave him a spontaneous
hug in reply.
Pegasus and Apollo were Rory's
matched purebred stallions. He prized them above all else and seldom let
them run outside of the racecourse.
"Let's go then. We need to
be at my estate just outside the city. It would be more than a little scandalous
for you to be seen riding astride."
"As if it weren't scandalous
that I go with you to your estate…alone," Deirdre retorted. She wasn't
quite ready to be persuaded to do such a thing, even if it meant riding
the horses, she had admired from afar for so long.
"Don't worry, Deirdre my
love. I have my Aunt Anita to chaperone us. She is of a more liberal mind
than most. She's waiting for us even now."
Deirdre looked up to see
a gray haired lady smiling kindly at them from a grove of trees.[1]
"Aye then, let's be off,"
Deirdre beamed, maidenly modesty satisfied.
Wouldn’t Papa be surprised…?
For the next few hours, she
rode in borrowed breeches, let the wind tug at her loose ruby tresses and
flew over the rolling, free grass. She allowed the strength and the smooth
gait of the stallion to take her to a time, not so long ago, when she could
do whatever she willed. It was—magnificent. They were free…
…but it had to end. It was
just before luncheon when Rory drove her back.
"Thank you for the ride,
Rory," Deirdre said, reluctantly alighting from the coach.
"It was my pleasure, love."
She raised a red brow skeptically.
"You see, love," Rory grinned,"
I would go mad if couldn't ride away now and then."
He chuckled, then, eyes twinkling
with mischief.
"And from what I see of you,
you don't seem to like the town life all that much either."
"Now, now, such opinions
are not seemly for a rake like you," Deirdre laughed. She had to laugh
then, uncomfortable as she was with this current discovery.
He is more perceptive
than I thought…
Deirdre hoped fervently that
he didn't see that most of her attraction to him was based on that. He
was one of the only ways open to defying her father.
"One does have a certain
reputation to maintain…but it's something one has to do, not what one wants."
"What one wants? Is this
the Earl of McDuff speaking?"
"Aye, missy, and don't say
that you're not familiar with the concept. How much do you chafe in the
limits society has put on you? You may push at them but you still bow to
conventions. As much as you liked to go out of town and ride with me, you
would never go out with a male without a chaperone," Rory said seriously.
"Aye, you're right there,"
Deirdre admitted, getting more than a little uncomfortable with the revelation.
The silence stretched.
This is the real Rory,
the one that almost no one can see… The one that didn't hide in the barbed
wit or the fashionable ennui of a rake… He teases but he's also capable
of great sensitivity and perception…
It was the first time Deirdre
had a glimmer of the real Rory behind the mask of a carefree dandy. There
and then, she began to feel for the person that longed as much to be free
of society's constraints as she was. And who was, unfortunately, as bound
as she was.
Her gentle lavender eyes
widened as the realization came to her.
The risk of ostracism was
not only a fear that ladies such as she lived under, but something that
the gentlemen who didn't fit the mold society gave them felt, too. Both
suffered under the gaze of unforgiving society.
And she suddenly knew that...
He understands…
"But you wouldn't have me
any other way would you? You wouldn't want to me to be fast, do you?"
"Life might be simpler that
way."
"Rory!"
"I was just joking, love.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's what makes you, you, after all.
And all mine." The last was said so softly that Deirdre almost missed it.
It brought shivers down her spine.
Then all too briefly for
that taste of freedom, she was back in the stifling townhouse she despised.
Back to the cloistered life, the cross-questioning and the lack of trust.
It was good that she had those moments of freedom. They kept her sane.
~*~
Aye, Rory understands…and
is willing to do something about that understanding… It's more than I could
hope for from some people, but...
…but marriage?!
"Deirdre, are you or are
you not going to marry me?"
Deirdre quailed a bit at
the edged steel in that much beloved voice.
"I was just taken aback that’s
all; this came so suddenly." Deirdre fidgeted, trying to assuage the suspicion
she heard and her own feelings of uncertainty.
"Well, unless you want to
go off with your cousin instead..."
Damn it, I knew Lachlan
hae something to do with this... What does he think he's doing? I damn
near wish my dear cousin would stay out of my business. If he hadna interfered
then this wouldna hae happened so soon... Not when I'm nae ready yet…
"Not at all."
"Answer the question then."
That was it, then, wasn’t
it? Should she take it? Should she take the last irrevocable step in this
little defiant drama she had started or stay her hand and potentially lose
the chance forever? And she had started it. She couldn't push Rory
away now after she dangled herself in front of his eyes as a fisherman
dangles bait in front of a fish.[1]
Her eyes held a glazed look
and her pupils darted about like that of a cornered animal. She felt like
a cat that pounced on a pigeon and ended up trying to evade an eagle.
Dare to win free or stay
safe… Safe a while more is the word, he’s about ready to challenge my dear
cousin to a duel and that is not to be borne... And hadn’t Rory offered
her freedom in all those months she’d known him? Hadn’t he understood her?
"Yes, I will gladly marry
you, Rory."
***
Ran walked down the sidewalk,
keeping an eye out for a taxi and for either one of the men he wanted to
avoid.
Of all the--Why do men
have the urge to go all bull-headed every time they’re faced with a potential
rival? I swear I’ll never under--
Aya choked at the thought,
purple eyes widening in surprise.
What am I saying? I am
a man... [2]
For some odd reason, it felt
familiar to be fuming about male stubbornness.
"Why, a little orchid’s been
left on the sidewalk to languish," a familiar nasal voice came from somewhere
behind Ran. He whirled around to face the annoying telepath, but the world
suddenly turned black…
[1] These are my beta reader
Crem's literal contributions to this angst-ridden chapter. There are also
several other places in this chapter that she made me revise. All for the
best, I'd say. Crem is the best beta reader in all the 'Net! ^^ Also for
catching my cliches and suggesting ways to get rid of them. *huggles* And
no false modesty, Crem-chan! You really did. *huggles again*
[2] Crem's comments:
Crem: Maybe you’re related
to Crawford, ne Silrayn-san? ^_-
Silrayn: *fixes Crawford
some gray ears and tail and puts them on him*
Ayan-kitsune: I like him
better as a fox!
Crawford: *sneezes and turns
into a kitsune*
^___^ Crem: Welcome to the
female gender, Aya.
Aya: Crem, shi-ne!
Crem: ^^;;;
