Alcyone

Red hair waved in the slight breeze.  Purple eyes looked seaward, preoccupied.  The sea was calm today barely lapping up the docks.  Ran wore the much-maligned orange sweater with khaki slacks.  Crawford knew that the Weiß leader had been doing this watch every weekend for the last six months ever since the confrontation with the Estet.

Schwartz had not left a sign that it still existed or even if its members still lived.  A wise precaution since Kritiker was very much alive and kicking.  This way Schwartz could regroup and with the resources of the defunct Estet try to make a life for themselves either as their staple trade of terrorist-assassins or any other that they wished.   Of course, Crawford's head agreed to the reasoning, it was his heart that--well--disagreed.  Not that he was sure he had been forgiven by his former lover at all since Ran was well known for being a vengeful sort.  The wishful fantasizing about things that could've been could easily turn to tempestuous anger when the latter found out that Crawford was still alive.   Schwartz did kidnap Aya-chan to use for sacrifice and Ran was bound not to forget that.  Though they didn't succeed and never did intend to succeed…

Crawford knew that the uncertainty of Aya-chan's fate had caused Ran untold anguish in the past year.  His was a betrayal of the worst sort.  He knew what would have happened when he had done what he had done.  If he had truly loved Ran he should have found a way to spare him all that.  He would have had had the courage to say hell to Estet and to Schwartz.  To say goodbye to his ambitions…

Now he had it all as he had planned and foreseen but somehow, somehow the victory seemed hollow without a certain redhead by his side.

: Why don't you go to him then? :

: Schuldich, he'll probably hate me on sight. : The mental voice was somber, lacking the sarcastic edge.  The edge hadn't been there for awhile.  Since he had decided to be less suspicious of the German, they had become better colleagues and to some extent friends.  Though he didn't trust the German much to work without his flamboyant attitude, the latter had proven loyal enough in Schwartz secret battle with Estet.

: You wouldn't know until you try, don't you?  Go on. : Schuldich gave him a mental push.

: I would rather keep my illusions for awhile yet. :

: Life's too short for hesitation.  We're still Schwartz remember, we take what we want. :

Despite his depressing thoughts, the thought sending startled a laugh out of Crawford.  Here he was the leader of the Schwartz, one of the most feared assassins in the world, and he couldn't muster the courage to walk several meters to talk to Ran.  He felt like he was a teenager again with his first crush but this time he knew the likelihood of being accepted was next to nothing, for how can Ran forgive him?  There had been too many betrayals, too many broken promises on his part.  Even if Ran forgave him for the cruel abandonment and for shielding Takatori for so long, he didn't think that he could be forgiven for the third time.  They have nothing to build on now.

Besides he noted the new closeness that flourished between Ran and Hidaka ever since the Powell incident.  The younger man looked with more intensity at Ran as if his eyes had been newly opened to the attractions of the latter, not that Crawford could blame him.  Ran was like heady French wine, slowly addictive and subtly dizzying.   If they had nothing before, and Crawford had only Ran's word of that fact, the possibility was there and Crawford couldn't find it in his heart to interfere.  Not when he had made quite a mess of his former lover's life. No, he can't go back to what he and Ran had.
 

I promised to you before
That I would never leave you
But I failed

 Crawford saw a car pull up somewhere behind one of the waterfront warehouses behind Ran.  He saw the brunette his thoughts had been dwelling on emerge from the shadows like he had summoned the latter.  He turned to go, feeling more hopeless than ever.

"Why don't you go to him?"

"Schuldich."  His teammate had sidled up by him while he was lost in thought.

"Well, why don't you?"

"…"

"Well, what Braaad?"

"Schuldich!"

"Well?"

"I've messed up his life enough…"

To be honest with himself, there was one part of Crawford who wanted to surrender Aya-chan to the Ancients and be done with it.  He resented the girl for the hold she had given Kritiker and later Schreint on Ran and a part of him wanted her gone.  There was one point in his musings that he thought he could've persuaded the Weiß redhead to abandon Kritiker and join Schwartz instead if not for the latter's sister.  She had been also something that kept some of his former lover's attention away from him.  He never thought that the girl would wake up, no vision had made itself known to him, or perhaps it had been ignored in his ambitions.  Part of the guilt that weighed him down now was from those thoughts he had harbored before.

"If you don't go to him now, little Siberian might get him away from you.  And you care for him too much to let that happen.  You’ll still try to break them up, failing that, kill Hidaka for his presumption."

"Maybe I care too little to let that happen, they make a better couple than me and Ran could ever be."

"So are you going to him?"

"Yes but not right now."

"Shit! Crawford I never thought you'd be a damned coward like this about anything."

"Well that's how it is." Crawford said as he walked towards where the Schwartz car was parked, ending the conversation.

***

Ran sat on his bed touching his lips with his fingertips in astonishment as he remembered what had occurred…

"A--Ran, why so glum?"  Ken was always underfoot these days so Ran didn't think that it was unusual that the ex-soccer player had followed him to his weekend haunt.

"Hn."

"You seem to take to staring out here in the docks…"

"Just thinking."

"Of Schwartz? Do you think they survived the explosion?"  This was a popular topic of speculation for the Weiß and Kritiker as a whole.

"Hn." How do I tell you Ken that I hoped they did?  Or at least one of them did, Schuldich and the rest can go to hell for all I care…wrong, Schuldich especially can go to hell…

"Do you think they will be back?"  Are you the least worried about Aya-chan?

"No, they've had enough of us…"

 Crawford have you tired of waiting and gone on with your life…with Schuldich?

Despite what Crawford had said Ran was almost sure that the German felt a crush or even something more serious for Crawford.  He allowed himself to be gently pulled into the car by Ken.

Damned you Crawford, I can't understand why you keep doing this to me.  First you abandon me then there was Takatori.  All you had to do was meet with me and I've forgiven you for both lapses, now it's the kidnapping of my sister.  I think I can forgive you even for that, too, if only you would show me that you are alive and well. It's been six months damned it.

Ran held no illusion that he would have had forgiven Crawford the instant the latter would come to him after all this time.  Oh, he had deluded himself for awhile with hate and thoughts of vengeance but he was too practical for that.  Truth made life a lot simpler.  Now it would have been a different matter if Aya-chan was hurt but his sister hadn't been the worse for wear after her misadventures with Schwartz and Estet.

Damned you, Crawford…

Ran had been too preoccupied on their drive back to notice the strangely considering looks Ken had been giving him.  They went up the warehouse they called home for the moment.  They were going up to separate into their rooms, or so he had thought.

"Ken, what…" Ken had followed him to the door of his room.

Ken just stared into his eyes with an intensity he couldn't name and he found himself being thoroughly kissed, Ken's tongue gently exploring his mouth before withdrawing.

"Ran, I…" Ken didn't finish the sentence and swiftly turned to go before Ran could gather his wits together to do anything, say anything.

Damned it, Crawford, where are you? Are you dead?  Should I forget you?  Find someone else?  Ken perhaps? Is that what you want from me?  Is that it?  Well the man seems to like you in that way…  There's no harm in being nice to him, no harm at all…

***

Ken smiled sheepishly as Ran caught him.  The former had nearly dropped a stack of pots yet again as he came from the van and Ran had caught him before any harm was done.  Ran let his lips turn up a bit, he let some warmth seep into his purple eyes, willing to show some of the affection he had felt for the younger man.  Ken beamed back at him.

The morning passed by in easy companionship, Ran let his ice-mask drop more than once, allowing Ken more glimpses into his character than he had allowed any of his teammates before.  They decided to eat lunch in the van after Youji and Omi had relieved them.  Their uneasy camaraderie was starting to blossom into a deep friendship, that with time might become more.  Ran was happy enough to let it go at that though guilt nagged at the edges of his growing contentment.

***

They're closer than ever.

Crawford gritted his teeth as he came to see for himself what his visions had told him.  It had been two weeks since the day at the docks, Ran and Hidaka was eating out, chattering over their sushi.  They seemed to be so open and happy that it made Crawford burn with a jealousy he could not admit to.  He wanted to be the one in that chair sitting with his redhead looking into those purple eyes so bright with reflected sunshine.  To see the vibrant red of those silky locks up close and most of all, the one to kiss those cherry lips and make love to that strong, slender body.  It made him almost physically sick with jealousy of the thought of Hidaka's hands on that perfect body.  Ran was his, damn it!

If you really love him, you'll let him go, just as you told Schuldich. They do make a better couple than Ran and me.  They're both Weiß and they're both young, only years separate them… But I want Ran and I need him, I need HIM.  So what are you going to do about it?  Nothing, nothing at all… Hidaka'll have Ran if you don't go to him now… It's better that way. Really?  Remember you said that!

Hidaka was now popping a piece of sashimi into Ran's mouth.  It was the kind the redhead liked.  Crawford remembered with a stab of utter fury the days when he did the same thing as they ate together in their little idyllic suite in the motel.  It took a lot of his vaunted self control not just sit there and take this.  He wanted desperately to shoot the annoyingly content expression off of the ex-soccer player but he knew that he had no right, no right at all, not after all this time.

Crawford remembered all too well the vision he had seen just this morning, it was what prompted his current observation of the Weiß couple.  Anger burned in him, Ran was going to betray him soon to that fumble-footed lost-puppy-eyed oaf, if the redhead hadn't done so already…

***

Crawford woke up to the day at seven sharp.  He was about to rise from his bed when he felt a slight blurring of perspective.  The room melted and he saw…

Ken and Ran in a passionate lip lock of a kiss.  Ken drawing Ran down into the bed, more kissing, tender caresses, clothes coming off and being tossed on the floor.  Moans and groans of pleasure, soft suspicious sounds of sex burning his ears.  Then his world blurred again.

Crawford found himself back in his lonely room, jealousy a bitter aftertaste in his mouth.

***

The vision flashed before Crawford's eyes again as he saw how close it was coming to be.  He was at a loss as to how he could do something about it without losing his pride.  It would seem like he was chasing Ran now only because of Hidaka, he had too much pride for that.  Besides Ran looked like he had finally made peace with his demons, was Crawford so selfish to deny him that?  If Hidaka could give the redhead the peace that Crawford knew he had wanted why should Brad intrude on something so precious to his former lover?

He should find his peace with me, not with that idiot…  That idiot that could get Ran killed with his clumsiness on a mission…Schuldich was right you should have gone to Ran before, now…now… it's too late.

Everything was finished
And you were lost to me

At a loss, Crawford drove away almost without seeing where he was going.  And so it was that he didn't see the car that was about to cross the same intersection he was about to pass…

***

"Schuldich, what are doing here?"  Ran hissed as he arranged the bouquets of flowers on the stand in front of him.  The other Weiß members were no where to be seen.  He was supposed to be minding the 'store' with Youji but the latter had a hangover from last night's excesses.  Ken and Omi were up with their usual activities and that left Ran alone.  Not that he minded it.  Ken had become quite possessive lately since Ran had decided to allow him to come close.  Something he didn't anticipate.

Ran didn't want to toy with Ken's feelings and that was what was happening.  Ken treated him like he was special.  The younger man had taken every care in wooing him, learning everything about him and acting on that knowledge and Ran enjoyed every moment of it.  This made Ran feel worse, he wasn't quite ready yet for that, he wasn't over Crawford yet, far from it.  Now this.  Schuldich alive meant that Crawford could also be…and that was what churned his thoughts into a maelstrom.

"Just seeing how you kittens were doing?"

"As if you'd care. So what's the real reason."  Ran knew that Schuldich wouldn't have dared to fight and make a scene in public.  Anyone in Schwartz couldn't be that stupid.

"Crawford's in the hospital, do you know?"

"He's in the hospital!"  Ran said hardly noting that he had raised his voice.  His heart beating painfully in his ears.

Is it serious?  What happened?  Brad's a precog for goodness sake what possibly could have been able to get through to him without him seeing it?

"Yes, car accident.  Shouldn't you go visit him?"  The German gave Ran a piece of paper before turning to go.

Ran looked down and saw that scribbled on it was the name of the hospital and the room number.

"Schuldich…thank you."

"Why ever for?" That drifted out from the direction where Schuldich had disappeared.

Ran was left staring at the piece of paper in his hand, frozen by indecision.

Should I go to him?  And…and what about Ken?   I am so confused…

***

"Ken, there is something I've got to tell you…" Ran said softly, hesitantly as he fiddled with the arrangements on their makeshift counter.  It took him two days to finally come to this point and even then he wasn't sure of what he was about to do.  For one he wasn’t sure that Brad would want to see him let alone loved him, though one thing was certain he couldn’t keep Ken while he tried to find out.  It would be unfair and all to like keeping a “spare”.  Besides he was fairly certain he wasn’t over Brad and if he did end up with Ken in these circumstances it would be like using Ken as a second fiddle.

And Ken deserves better than that…

It was early yet in the day that the corner they had chosen to set up shop was still devoid of signs of intelligent life.  An ideal time for this conversation… Is this the right thing? I frankly don't know…

"What is it, Ran?"  Ken asked, smiling as he did so.  He was standing close by watering plants.

"Uh, about the kiss two weeks ago and how we have been recently…"

"Well, what about it?"  Ken smiled even wider.

"We're good friends and I appreciate your friendship but…" Poor Ken, Ran knew that this was going to be an unpleasant surprise to the brunette and couldn't continue.

"But it's too soon?  I understand that it must be quite an adjustment to you.  You've said often enough that you can be Ran again rather than being just 'Aya the assassin'.  I'm willing to wait, Ran. For as long as it takes."

"It's not that…it's something else."  The awkwardness of it all choked him.

How do you say these things to someone as well meaning as Ken?  And at this late a date?  Face it, "there's no harm in being nice to him" indeed, famous last words…
 

And I erred
And completely went astray
I hurt the one that loved me

"Come on, Ran, you can tell me."  Ken coaxed Ran on, sensing his unease but not bothered by it.

"I just found out my ex is alive."  Ran said finally rushing on.

"Your ex…you never told me that you had a boyfriend before.  Or is it a girlfriend?"  Ken was striving to keep his tone neutral but something still slipped through.

I can almost imagine what chaos that statement caused, Ken has never seen or heard me say anything of this sort before…

"It's a boyfriend and, well…you know him."  Ran wouldn't have told Kritiker about Schwartz' survival since if there wasn't any pressing need to, but this was Ken, and Ken deserved more than to be told a trite little story of lost love.

"I know him…wait a minute, it's one of Them isn't it?"  Ken accused whipping about, hose forgotten, spraying water all over the place.  He had remembered Ran's preoccupation with the docks and put two and two together to make the jump to twenty-two.

"Yes…Ken, the hose?"  Ran said in a small voice.

Flustered, Ken put the hose away before clearing a spot on the counter beside Ran.  He then sat combatively on the edge of the counter.

"Shit, Ran, I never thought you were the Romeo-and-Juliet type!  Who is it?  Don't tell me, it's Irishman…"

"Hardly, I'm not a masochist."  Ran said amused in spite of the seriousness of the situation but he was still having a hard time revealing it all.  This was too much like baring his soul for his comfort.

"The German telepath…"

"I'm not going crazy."

Aw, come on. I've got better taste than that.

"The kid? No, you're not the shotakon type, I think…so it leaves the American."

Ran just nodded his head.

"So how long have you been 'with' this guy."

"We broke up when he found out I was in Weiß."  Officially that is.

"It's been almost two years ne? And after what he did to your sister…"

"It's not that simple…"

"Don't tell me you still have feelings for the bastard after what he did?  Besides you didn't answer my question.

"On and off, since I was thirteen…" Ran blushed at this revelation.

"Okay…so he's a shotakon and a cold bastard to boot…and you still have feelings for the man…what about us?"

"There is no 'us'."

"I can't take that as an answer."

"Sorry, Ken, I--"

"'Sorry and live a good life' doesn't wash, I think I can give you more than he's offering you, Ran…" Ken kissed Ran savagely on the lips, not caring that they were in a public place.  It startled Ran enough that he wasn’t able to protest at the intimacy of the move.

"Ken-kun! Aya-kun!"  Omi said startling Ken out of his hold and Ran out of his surprise so that the redhead managed to break away.

"Omi what are you doing early out?"  Ran managed an even voice.

"Um, I left my assignment inside the van…you guys are in a public place…"

"We know, Omi--but some things are more important than maintaining face in public."  Ken glanced at Ran significantly who avoided meeting his eyes.

"You're in the store.  You can do that in your own time."  Omi said in his lecture voice.

A chorus of "Hai." greeted this pronouncement as Ran decided to tend to the arrangements on the counter while Ken did likewise in the opposite end of the "store".

"Got to go now, behave yourselves!"  Omi said, cheerfully waving goodbye to them.

"Thank you, Ken."

"The matter's between you, me and Crawford. So?"  Ken said after their teammate left.

"Ken, I love you as a friend since that mission with that crazy American we have grown close possibly closer than Youji and I.  But only as friends…"

"Shit! Ran you can't say that.  Surely we've been closer than that!"

"There's no getting around that I still love Brad."

"So that's it…he's still Schwartz and you’re still Weiß…"

"That can't be helped."

“Are you really sure?  I mean you can’t really love him after all this time, after the grief he caused you!  Does he even love you?”

“It happens to be the truth, I love him and there’s no way around it… I’m very sorry, Ken.”

“Answer my question damned it! Does he love you, now?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know!  Then why…”

“I still love him and that’s enough for me to know. I mustn’t play with your feelings…”

“It’s not playing with my feelings when you do feel some affection for me.”

“Yes, some affection but not in that way, maybe if we had some more time but…”

“But your ex come’s up alive and well, and is whistling for you…I understand, I understand, pretty well, what you mean.”

“Ken! It’s not like that not like that at all…”

“Then how was it?”

Ran just shook his head.  He couldn’t explain everything was just too complex, too tangled up with his emotions to make much sense to anyone else.

“Well, I see you can’t explain, there’s one thing you can be sure of. This not going to end this way!  I’m not going to lose you to someone else, especially one of our bitterest enemies…”

“Sorry, Ken.”

They spent the entire morning shift in silence and parted ways during lunch to Ken’s protests.  Ken didn’t want to leave his Ran to the tender mercies of Schwartz and insisted on trying to reason with the latter.

Ken…I’m so very sorry I lead you on like that…

Ran was not to be swayed, he decided to go that afternoon to see Brad for better or for worse to find out what the precog felt.  He needed to know so that he could go on with his life.

***

Brad was fairly in good spirits.  It’s nothing like physical pain to put your mind off your troubles he thought in dark amusement.  He had gotten off easy considering what had happened to his car and had broken only a rib or two and his leg.  Luckily, Schuldich had been in the area and he had been rushed to the hospital by the latter without delay when he had heard Brad’s mental cry of pain.  He looked again at the newspaper he had been trying to read and tried not to think too much.  He was going over a column for a third time when the door slowly opened.  Someone quietly stepped into the room.

“Yes?”  Brad falling silent when he saw who had come in.  Red locks fell as it had often did in dreams and purple eyes met his solemnly.

The silence was so thick; it could have been cut and eaten.

"Ran…?"  Brad said finally, wondering how the Weiss redhead had known where to find him and what this could mean.

"Schuldich found me, he told me you had an accident."  Ran said quietly.

"So that's the only reason you came here?"  Crawford managed an even unemotional tone despite his gladness at seeing Ran visiting him.

If he came, he must still have feelings for me… Maybe, maybe I could still have him back…

The irrational hope made the sound of his heart pound into his ears.

No, best be realistic about this…he's with Hidaka.  He probably came here to see how I was doing out of guilt or a sense of obligation… Damn it why couldn't Schuldich mind his own business…

"So how are you feeling, Brad?"  Ran asked into the uncomfortable silence.

"Better, though I will have to stay in the hospital for a few more days since there might be complications.  I busted a rib and my leg."

"How did it happen?"

"Huh?"

"How did the accident happen?  This is not like you at all, Brad…"

"Careless motorist, nothing much…"  He'll never know the truth, I won't have him come back to me just because he feels he has to because of this.

"Hn.  That's not why I came anyway.  So why did you not contact me to tell me that you're alive."

"You're Weiss."  And you have Hidaka.

"I see."

Another long silence, Crawford thought that this was surely the end of it.

Yes, Ran, that's all there is too it now leave.  Leave and go back to little Siberian and be happy.  Leave before I break down and ask you to stay.  Leave before I have the chance to mess up with your life again…

"No damn it, I don't really see.  All I wanted to know was that you're alive and well.  You should have known that!"  Ran burst out with annoyance.

"Why for? So you can report that Schwartz survived to Kritiker?"  Crawford still couldn't believe that this visit hadn't an ulterior motive, surely Ran wouldn't have gone through all this trouble for him?

He's got Hidaka.  I saw them.  They were definitely together…  Besides after what I did to him?  What I did to him was beyond forgiveness…  Not that Ran had any reputation for that either.

"I wouldn't have reported you to Kritiker…I haven't!  Oh, why am I trying to talk to you!"  Ran snarled and went for the door.  He had about enough of this non-conversation.

"Ran wait!"  Crawford said, seeing Ran walk away angry broke his reticence.  This could be his last chance…

***

"What?" Ran said turning back to Brad without much hope.  He had come here to say to Brad how much he still loved the latter but had gotten nervous in the last minute.

Who wouldn't be?  After all Schuldich could be wrong about this or he could be playing one of his mind bender games with me.

So Ran had decided to play this by the ear.  What he got was the same sparring he had received from Oracle the leader of Schwartz not his sweet considerate Brad-koi.

That answers the question.  He probably found someone else or maybe Schuldich himself.  It would be just like the damned German's style of gloating…

Ran have had enough, he was leaving.

"What?"  Ran repeated exasperated when Brad didn't answer him, he certainly wasn't going to confess now but he desperately wanted to hear Brad's voice again before he walked away from the precog forever.

"Stay."

"Hn?"  Ran asked pole-axed, not daring to hope that he heard it right.

***

"Stay and hold me again just for awhile.  You can go back to Hidaka afterwards if you like…" The words tumbled out of Brad's mouth.  In this moment, all pride felt hollow and he just didn't care what brought Ran here just that he could feel his former lover's arms around him one more time before he gave the redhead up forever.

His plea was heard.  Ran went back onto the bed to sit this time on it to enfold Crawford in his embrace.

Warm and secure, Crawford could only lean into the embrace wordlessly.  Time stood still and Brad knew that he would treasure this moment for as long as he lived.  Tears begun to form in his eyes as Ran begun to withdraw a bit.

There! one last goodbye…  It has to be enough.  It would have to be enough…

"You know you're really so much trouble, Brad."  But Ran didn't move from where he was sitting, he just shifted to look into Crawford's face.  His arms were still around Crawford.

Crawford wondered at the expression in those purple eyes.  Tears like his own misted them, moreover, they held great emotion that he never thought to see in them again.

"That's probably why I love you so much."  Ran kissed him tenderly in the lips and Crawford knew that he had finally come home.

 
Thank you for this chance
Your heart is still open up to now

~OWARI~

*The title alludes to the Greek myth "Ceyx and Alcyone" as told in Edith Hamilton's Mythology.  If you knew the myth, you knew that this was going to be a sort of happy ending.  Though you might have thought something like the guys were going to die or something to that effect to get the ending. ^__^() Of course not!  I couldn't make something like that up when I've made this story completely based on "reality".  Though THAT would have made a catchier ending, ne?