Is Christmas spirit NOT the hugest irony known to the human spirit? Does James Bond use condoms? Does he bollocks, so God knows how sexually disease ravaged he is� not that Jinx (made fit by Oscar-winner Halle Berry) this time round complains. But he should show a lil more respect to the �safety-first� ethic, and go for a dick test if his cock-burn persists. I mean there he is gun-running round the world as a fearless British spy doing the most dangerous of deals and yet he totally ignores the possibility of death by disease in the sack. How�s he get away with it?
Ha! For once he initially doesn�t. With a rare intro to the movie where Pierce Brosnan�s Bond gets captured in Korea, the credits don�t roll in until 20 minutes later. �Fucking hell� one guy behind sighed � he knew it was gonna be along ride.
& in epic �Pearl Harbour� and �Bend It Like Beckham� (!) style, just when you think it�s finished and he�s saved the world for the zillionth time, there�s another half-hour long set-piece� but the action is obligatarily relentless, and more overblown and silly than the daft stunts pulled in �XXX.� Way!
The most implausible thing of all though is the fact that James Bond hasn�t aged at all in the past 40 years. Mmm it�s one of those things, like the way TV�s �Smallville� focuses on Superman�s younger days and yet is set in present day America, blatantly ignoring any sense of logic.
Sit back and ponder. (STEVE RUDD) www.jamesbond.cock.com