**Another review from Brandon.  Not in the area of his Super J review, but still ok.  And either way, it has a frickin matchlist so be happy**
 
 
 

This is the best and worst show to review.  This show is the entire specturm of the WWF in it's best.  Great moments and awesome wrestling coupled with absolute crap and its infantile desire to be accepted into the mainstream.  When I watched this tape I had the pre knowledge of my views of this.  It remains today my favorite show and the most ranted show on the net.  Therefore I didn't do a play by play and I barely paused or fast forwarded the tape and just tried to get wrapped up by the magic.  However, some play by play is needed so I admit I will be getting what I can't remember by the net guru Scott Keith's review on RS.com, my favorite site.  Call me a parrot I don't give a damn.  I think that he missed some stuff and that's why I am writing this.

Well so much for objective reporting

Here is your matchlist soldier

Owen Hart vs Bret Hart *****  20:21

Bam Bam Bigelow and Luna vs.  Doink and Dink **  6:09

Macho Man Randy Savage vs. Crush  in a Falls Count Anywhere Match * 9:42

Lelani Kai vs. Alundra Blayze <c> Women's Title Match *1/2 3.24

Men On A Mission vs. Quebecers <c> Tag Title Match **1/2  7:43

Lex Luger vs Yokozuna <c> WWF title Match * 14:40

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb -* 32secs

Razor Ramon vs Shawn Michaels Unified Intercontinental Title Ladder Match  *****
18.45

Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna <c> WWF World Title Match **1/4 10:31
 

Well that looks like something or nothing, I don't know.

On to the tape gladiator.

Wrestlemania Moment I: Liberace(He was gay???), Andre the Giant (He was Gay?? Wait no he wasn't.), Cassius Clay(he thinks Muhammed Ali is gay), and Cindy Lauper is there.  It's a girl's night out.  I try my damnedest to forget Rock 'N Wrestling ever happened.
 

Hit the generic PPV music IT'S WRESTLEMANIA X

We are dubbed from a tape that was recorded live from Madison Square Garden

Your Host is Vince MacMahon Jr. send your thank you notes to Titan Towers

Vince is in this very ring.  He welcomes the world to his temple built to honor his ego, WRESTLEMANIA.  He then procedes to introduce Little Richard to sing America the Beautiful.  Why don't they sing the Oh Say Can You See?  Little Richard comes out and the ring is surrounded by a gospel choir.  Every time I see this tape I have expect Richard to challenge Michael Jackson for that often teased Motown R&B Gospel Lumber Jack Match of Utter Doom.  I guess that's just me.  Little Richard reminds me of Vince.  Little Vince is con-vinced that the world owes him a tremendous debt and does nothing but bitch about him being left out of the historical dictionary.

Vince now intros the King so we can have some actual commentating.

Montage of the Hart fued.   It perfectly brings everyone up to speed.

Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart

Earl is your official, hmmmm.  Owen comes out and rips the sunglasses, perfect.  What's with the Harts' obession with pink?  I don't get it, is that a back bacon thing?  Bret comes out and the crowd goes wild for his formal wear choice.  Instead of the biker admiral jaket he has on his tuxedo admiral jacket, it has tails.  Funny bit when Bret gives the glasses to the kid, the kid sticks his tongue out.  Yeah, Bret take that.  King has already started on Helen.

Match starts, I don't want to have to keep rewriting it over and over so let me say this.  Owen and Bret sell their parts perfectly.  They don't wait in between spots to decide to tell the audience who's the heel they sell it during the moves.  They start with a clinic in mat wrestling.  I didn't take to many notes because I just blank out and watch the transitions, gorgous.

In a surreal moment around this time is the Super J 94 and Benoit is ripping up the Japan crowd and some how he channels into Owen as Owen does the German, Tombstone, and Swandive in a row.  Bret hurts his knee and Owen smells the blood in the air.  He absolutly goes apecrap all over Bret's knee.  The crowd is eating this up as they continual tease the Sharpshooter and you can actually hear the crowd's thoughts: "Owen is a whining baby but ohmigawd he's killing Bret"  Bret finally gets a sleeper which Owen unfortunately has a double cramp in the knee and mistakenly gives Bret a low blow.  Owen gets the sharpshooter then Bret reverses.  Owen makes it to the ropes.  Whip to the rope Owen follows and eats a boot.  Bret goes for a Victory Roll which Owen steps into and the ref counts three.  Again the audience: "Well Bret should get up....Ohmigawd he just beat Bret"  Owen has spittle on his chin and an absolute look of disbelief as he holds up three fingers.  The ref raises his hands and Owen turns and flips Bret off.  Bret looks stunned.

***** easy.  This is my favorite match and I think it's one of the best in America.  The anticipation was right, the storytelling was perfect, the match was actually secondary to the story I know that is the WWF in a nutshell but this was one of the few times they got it right.  This match proves to me that Owen was better then Bret.  I know that will set people off but Owen's anger is so great Bret could never emote like him.

SPOT OF THE MATCH:  Bret gets a Pescado on Owen but bangs his knee.  That sets up everything and Bret gets kudos for selling it for the rest of the night.

Scary Todd Pettengill interviews Owen.  Owen still has that spittle on his face, awesome.  Really classic Owen interview as he keeps up the storyline.

Wrestlemania Moment II:  Ray Charles and a Battle Royale oh well.

B team ring announcer who I don't remember introduces Cy Sperling, you know the Hair Club guy, he's not only the president he's also a member.  Cy then introduces the Fink, you know the announcing guy, he's not only an announcer he's a wrestler.  He then asks everyone how they like his new toupee. Ok, Fink, If you are on national television every week and on an international PPV getting a toupee doesn't hide anything.

Ok if your young like me and don't remember the Beatles on the Sullivan show but have seen it on tv, you should know how apenuts the crowd went, right?  Well, do you remember who followed the Beatles?  Neither do I.  Do you remember who followed one of the greatest matches ever?

Bam Bam and Luna vs. Doink and dink

I don't care.  I don't remember the story and they don't go out of there way to remind us of one.  No real mermits as a match but for comedy there are some spots that work.  I love the fact that everytime Dink tags in that Vince says Bam Bam has to tag in Luna.  It says a lot to the mentality of Vince that the proper competition to a woman is a midget.  I have to ask why did Luna get implants. Implants are supposed to help pretty women with little boobs.  Luna needs a lot of other work then boobs.  Anyway Bigelow Swandive on Doink for the Duke.  ** it should be lower but I've wrestled midgets and I have a lot of respect for them.  HEEL BEATDOWN OF DOOM follows on the clowns.  Clowns make me laugh.

SPOT OF MATCH:  Luna goes to splash Dink and absolutely kills him.  That looked painful

Hey Billy Bill Clinton is here.  Do I need to reaffirm to you the infantism of Vince to get media attention that he has several wrestlers kiss the ass of a presidental impersonator?

Wrestlemania Moment III:  Attendence Record and Hulk and Andre.  Say what you want about Hogan but this is a perfect main event.

Macho Man vs. Crush    Falls Count Anywhere

Now this has some weird booking as you have to take a guy out of the ring and beat the crap out of him and pin him and make it back to the ring in sixty seconds.  Odd to say the least.  For reference this is when Crush didn't suck and the internet community was up in arms on why Crush didn't win the Stars and Stripes Challenge and become the next Hogan.  Yes Crush didn't always suck.

First fall: Crush jumps Savage in the aisle, and drops him on the railing for the pin. Savage beats the count.

Second fall: Savage reverses a Crush Salt throw of death in his face.  Is it just me or is Randy Savage the only guy that the double axehandle works for?  Big Elbow and he rolls crush outside and pins him.  Fuji revives the Kronik and he makes it back.

Third fall: They fight into the dressing room.  Savage throws Crush into some doors pins him and hangs him by his feet, which while a good idea in theory didn't come off.  Savage comes back and is declared the winner.  *  Gimmick killed the match.

SPOT OF THE MATCH: Crush Backdrops Savage over the ropes.

Scary Todd back with the Senator's Husband. The fact that I worked on his and Gore's campaigns really rears it's head at me right now.  IRS starts kissing his ass and tries to plant a swerve in the Oval Office by agreeing with his tax hike.

Scary Todd takes us back to Fan Fest, sort of like Axess now.  Line of the Segment: Doink gets wet, EWWWWW.

Wrestlemania Moment IV:  Savage wins Belt and we are from many many places.

Lelania Kai vs Blayze <c> Women's Title

UGH.  I've never thought that Blayze was a looker and her actions with the belt after she jumped ship is unforgivable.  Why do women scream so much?  You see it in Japan too, it's such turn off.  Decent enough match.  Bull Nakano was the only talent of the division back then so I can't give it more then *1/2

SPOT OF MATCH: Only real big move.  German Suplex by Blayze on Kai for the win. In the Bridge Blayze grabs some of that Kai goodness.  GRANDMA NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Wrestlemania Moment V: Piper and Morton Downey Jr.  I never liked that moment.  People talk about it like it was the greatest thing since my birth and it really doesn't compare.

MOM vs. Quebecers <c> Tag Team Titles

Do you remember Willy Wonka?  Remember that chick that ate that dinner pill and blew up like a blueberry?  That's what Mabel looks like.  Oscar sounds like K-Kwick, that is kind of scary.  After MOM is introduce we hit the Mountie Song right? Wrong we go back to Scary Todd.

Todd is with that Bubblehead Rhonda Shear.  We bask in her early 1980's beauty and Michaels hits the run in and Burt Renyolds makes the Face Save.  Don't we have a match?

Quebecers are already in the ring.  So we hit the match.  And it ends pretty quick.  To be honest I tried to not get to involved in the match and concentrate on not being drawn into the gravitational pull of Viscera.  The Quebecers do their usually awesome double team spots that the Bangers only dreamed of doing. MOM wins by count out.  **1/2  I am a big proponent of clean finishes on the big show, but with Vince's big man hardon if there was a clean win MOM would've won and we would be forced to believe that.

SPOT OF THE MATCH:  I didn't write down the particulars of the move but one Mountie back drops the other Mountie over the top rope onto MOM.  That was awesome.

Wrestlemania Moment VI:  Hulk and Warrior.  The proof of my change in the sport.  I got into a fistfight with a kid in elementary school about this match, I defended Hulk.  I got suspended for a week.  Now I look back and I just shake my head.

We get montage of Lex's rise to main event status including the Stars and Stripes Bodyslam a fatass and get a title shot Challenge.  Funny they didn't put in there about how he got drunk and broke Kayfabe to a reporter the night before the show.  That's why he didn't win tonight.

Since this is EGOMANIA and it's a WWF title match we have to have guest celebrities.

Rhonda Shear Bangs the BALLS, oh hahhaahahahaha that was to easy.  She is the timekeeper

Donnie Whalberg is ring announcer.  Yo yo yo, I break it down for the brown.  Well bullshit accents are apainted brown.

Hennig is the ref and comes out in a stripe work out suit.  Pat must've picked that out of his closet.

Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna <c> WWF Title Match

Cornette borrowed Bret's admiral Jacket for this match.  Cornette wears it better.  So the match huh you want a play by play huh, well dare me, come on dare me.  Ok don't be so forceful.

Token offense and then Yoko hits the nerve hold forever.  I mean it.

Then Lex makes the face come back and goes into the patented manager run in punch thing and goes for a pin.  Perfect refuses to count.  Lex kind of shoves him gingerly and Perfect DQ's him.  The crowd goes nuts. *

SPOT OF THE MATCH:  NERVE HOLD.  Only spot in match

Todd interviews Perfect.  He says that you can't touch a ref. Luger runs in and all hell breaks lose in the empire state.

Vince says listen to the bullshit chant, pre attitude that's pretty funny.

Wrestlemania Moment VII:  Blindfold Match.  You know that Heros of Wrestling Jake the Snake debacle well that was only Jake redoing this match but he lost his hood see?  Yeah, that's the ticket

Fink introduces the Future Former Women's Champ Harvey Whippleman.  Harvey run downs the Fink with some vicious insults.  This sets up the greatest fued in WWF history, no really, ok I'm lying.  Adam Bomb comes out followed by Earthquake, WTF ring the bell.

Adam Bomb vs. Earthquake

This match is 32 seconds long so I won't say anything more then I have too.  -*

SPOT OF THE MATCH:  Oh, come on the entire match was shorter then some of the other spots.

Todd is waiting in the back for Yoko.  Corny runs in before Yoko can waddle over there.  I love Cornette by the way.  Corny is the smartest man in wrestling as he reminds everyone that they didn't miss the fact that Owen messed up Bret's knee, that my friends is genius.  Of course Yoko can't bend down to pick a guy up so I don't expect another clinic on knee work but hey they mention it and that rocks the party the rocks the body.

Wrestlemania Moment VIII:  Undertaker beats someone I have never seen before.

Ramon vs. Michaels IC Ladder Match

Great story, great match so I won't belabor the play by play.  As a matter of fact I saying crap about it.  If you've never seen it and you are on this page waiting for my words to recreate the match for it I can't do it so forget it.  They beat the crap out of each other for almost twenty minutes in some of the most innovative spots and classic ass pounding there is.  ***** oh yeah Ramon won.

SPOT OF THE MATCH:  The finish.  Michaels falls of the ladder and crotches himself on the top rope then ties up his leg.  That is some damn good timing

Segment telling us why the ten man tag match won't be on tonight, and I had money on it, SERENITY NOW!!!!!!!

Todd back with the Man from Harlem that used to run the country.  You know for running the free world Bill has some shitty seats.  Dibiase kisses ass.

Wrestlemania Moment IX:  Bret and Yoko.  Shades of the Future Past!!!

Bret video package

Yoko video package  Both of these do their respective jobs well setting up a good story for this match.

Bret vs. Yoko <c> WWF title

Oh yeah title match at EGOMANIA

Kelly the Bimbo from 90210 (Jennie Garth) is the timekeeper

Ring Announcer is Burt the drunk Reynolds.  Burt's arm is broken watch out for the forearm of doom Fink

Piper is your Ref.  Great

Bret is still sellin the leg, awesome.  Match sucks and is way to long for the worst finish I have ever seen.  Yoko goes for the Banzai Drop but is too fat and falls off and Bret covers to win.  *3/4 for Bret's Knee.

After the match we get the old school face convention in the ring.  And the single most brillant thing ever in Wrestlemania history happens.  Owen comes out and just stands in the entrance way.  Doesn't say anything but reminds Bret that he has some unfinished business.

Well, this is a great show.  Two of the greatest matches in the history of the company and awesome story tellin throughout.  I love it.

Like most great WWF PPVs what worked was phenomenal but what sucked well, it sucked.  Highest Recommendation.

Jeremiah's Official Grade-- A.  Was there any doubt?  Bret-Owen is still in my personal all-time top ten, and the Shawn/Razor match is flat out a classic.  One of the best PPVs the WWF has ever done, and holds up as well today as it did nearly nine years ago.