Here we go. Let's set the way back machine all the way to.....gasp.....1989?!?!?! What the hell, you say? You can't remember back that far? Well let me refresh your memory for you. This is the show that set new records for PPV buyrates at the time. We had Hulk, Savage, and Warrior, and things wouldn't start going downhill for the WWF until a few years later. Remember the prayers, the training, and the vitamins, kiddies, and let's get to YOUR matchlist.......WrestleMania Vby me
King Haku vs. Hercules
The Twin Towers vs. The Rockers
Ted Dibiase vs. Brutus Beefcake
Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Bushwhackers
Mr. Perfect vs. Blue Blazer
Powers of Pain/Mr. Fuji vs. Demolition Tag Team Titles
Dino Bravo vs. Ronnie Garvin
The Brainbusters vs. Strike Force
Andre the Giant vs. Jake Roberts
Hart Foundation vs. Greg Valentine and Honky Tonk Man
Rick Rude vs. Ultimate Warrior Intercontinental Title
Bad News Brown vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan
Bobby Heenan vs. the Red Rooster
Randy Savage vs. Hulk Hogan WWF Title
With this being Coliseum Home Video, we are treated to anti-smoking message by none other than the Rockers......and watching them, I swear I think Marty is high. Talk about the height of hypocritical-ness. Is that a word?Coming to you from Atlantic City, NJ, and your hosts are Gorilla and Jesse.
Haku w/Bobby Heenan vs. Not Kevin Sorbo Hercules
If I remember correctly, Hercules was kept as a slave by Bobby, or some such nonsense, and he wants VENGEANCE, baby. Haku jumps Herc to start, but Herc gets a hiptoss and slam. Off the ropes, into a gorilla press slam, and WE HAVE CLIPPAGE. We pick up Herc chasing Bobby outside (stupid, and Jesse agrees with me), which allows Haku to hit a clothesline. Herc comes back with some Road Dogg jabs and a kneelift. Couple of clotheslins by Herc, and a powerslam. He heads up top (?), but Haku hits a superkick coming off. Haku up top (again, ?), but he misses a splash. Herc gets a belly to back with an (alleged) bridge, and gets his shoulder up before Haku can to get the 3. * No real heat at all for either guy and a lame finish......still, the clipped version is short at least.
The Twin Towers w/Slick vs. The Rockers
The Towers are Big Bossman and Akeem (aka One Man Gang), for those who don't know or who have forgotten. The Rockers are still more than glorified jobbers at this point, but on their way up. The Towers try to attack the Rockers to start, but they run around until they can hit stereo elbows. We settle into Bossman and Shawn, and after a lockup Bossman has words for Marty, which lets Shawn hit a missile dropkick. Shawn with forearms for both Bossman and Akeem, who is daydreaming on the apron. Jesse discusses Shawn's lack of sportsmanship because he hit Akeem when he wasn't in the ring. Haha. Tag to Akeem, and he gets his groove thang going. Shawn counters by displaying a little groove of his own. Tag to Marty and he hits the armbar. Marty stupidly tries to whip Akeem, and of course it is reversed, as Akeem catches him and Bossman sandwiches between him. They destroy Marty with various squashes and avalanches. Heel miscommunication leads to Marty crawling through Akeem's legs to let Shawn in with a slingshot dropkick. Rights, and double shoulderblock by the Rockers gets 2. Jesse berates ref Sean Morella for allowing the Rockers such blatant double-teaming and use of heel tactics, and of course Gorilla stands up for Sean (wink, wink). Anyway.....Akeem reverses a whip, and he almost decapitates Shawn with a clothesline, and the crowd is oohing and ahhing over that one. Tag out to Bossman, but he misses the top rope splash. Shawn tries a rana, but Bossman holds on. Marty sneaks in behind Bossman's knees to trip him, and Jesse just absolutely goes off on the Rockers. Double dropkick on Akeem, and they a double missile dropkick on Bossman that gets 2 for Shawn. Akeem tosses Marty outside as Gorilla asks Jess about both Towers being in the ring, and Jesse basically says "Well the Rockers started it." Haha Gorilla, don't bait Jesse tonite, he is ON. Shawn up top, but Bossman catches him in a powerbomb. Tag to Akeem, and the big man splash on Shawn of course gets the 3. **1/2 I thought this was a really decent showing by the big men, and it really picked up steam with the crowd after the nasty clothesline by Akeem.
Tony Schiavone (yes, him) interviews Ted Dibiase and Virgil. Not terrible, not great, basically a normal Dibiase interview.
Ted Dibiase w/Virgil vs. Brutus Beefcake
Ted comes out first to shake hands with Donald Trump at ringside, just because they're rich. Brutus dominates to start with a hiptoss and a couple back body drops, and Ted rolls outside. In a weird moment, Jesse defends Ted's decision to roll outside, saying that it's exactly like a quarterback running out of bounds to avoid a big hit. My how times have changed regarding Jesses' opinion about that. Back in, and they trade rights, and Virgil trips Brutus up. Ted gets some more punches and clotheslines, and double axehandle from the middle for 2, but Brutus back with a small package for 2. Ted immediately back up with a suplex, then hooks the Million Dollar Dream, but Brutus gets the ropes. Brutus back with a sleeper, but Virgil distracts him and he gives chase. Ted jumps him outside and we trade rights until both men get counted out. 1/2* Supremely boring affair with a pretty lame finish. Postmatch, Brutus cleans up on Ted and Virgil. Eh, this was just like my shitty job at Kmart (which I'll be able to quit now that summer is almost here, thank God).....I occupy space behind a register, nobody really cares, and I go home.
Mean Gene interviews Bobby and Rick Rude.
Fabulous Rougeaus w/Jimmy Hart vs. Bushwhackers
Jesse says he saw Gorilla walking like the Whackers at the casino the day before, and asks if he was hitting the joy juice. LMAO. The Whackers try to take Jimmy's jacket, but the Rougeaus come in and take control. Wackiness ensues, and Jimmy gets sandwiched by the Rougeaus. We eventually settle down, and Jacques gets a Boston crab while Ray kicks the shit out of Butch. Jesse comments he's never seen the Whackers use an actual move. Slame and double axehandle, tag to Jacques, and the Rougeaus hit absolutely pathetic back elbows. Abdominal stretch by Jacques, and Ray hits a nasty kick in the midsection, which is sold like a resthold by Butch. The Rougeaus hug to celebrate, and the Bushwhackers get the Battering Ram (don't ask, some things are better left alone and unremembered) to get the 3. 1/2* At least it was short.
Mr. Perfect vs. Blue Blazer
Hells yeah. Lockup, and Perfect tries a hiptoss, but it's reversed and Blazer gets a couple slams and a dropkick to send Perfect outside. No rest though, as Blazer immediately follows with a baseball slide. Back in with the armbar, but Perfect gets him in the corner. Hiptoss attempt, block, but Blazer flips over and gets it anyway. Slam, and a gorgeous dropkick. Backbreaker only gets 1. Armbar, into a Northern Lights, and Blazer goes upstairs, but Perfect raises the knees on the splash, and Owen was definately not bracing himself there. Definite clippage here, and we cut to Blazer coming back with a crucifix rollup.....for 2. Crowd is fired up now. Blazer questions the ref, which allows Perfect to sneak up and get the Perfect Plex for 3. *** Good for what we got (would it have killed them to give us the other 2 1/2 minutes?), but can't really go any higher due to the clippage and shortness of the match.
Sean Mooney interviews Strike Force at the Wrestlemania V festival (Basically, Axxess before it was Axxess). Run DMC does the Wrestlemania rap, and the crowd is dead. Do we REALLY need to see this in lieu of 2 1/2 more minutes of Owen-Curt?
Powers of Pain and Mr. Fuji vs. Demolition
This is a handicap match because Fuji double-crossed Demolition, and they want REVENGE, baby. Warlord and Ax start, and Ax beats some ass. Tag to Smash, and both Demos beat ass. Smash gets tossed in the corner, but he fights out. Tag back to Ax, who gets a clothesline and slam. Double clothesline, and the Demos go after Fuji. P of P take over now and choke Ax. Tag to Fuji and he gets some cheap offense. Barbarian in with a slam, and Fuji goes up top (!), but badly misses a legdrop, and quickly tags Warlord back in. Smash gets the hot tag, and it's clotheslines and slams for everybody. Stungun on Warlord for 2, but Barbie breaks it up, and it all busts loose. Warlord holds Smash for Fuji, but ceremonial salt misses, and the Demos destroy Fuji for the pin to retain. *1/2 Some decent stuff, but fun, and the mission was accomplished as the Demos got VENGEANCE, BABY!!!
Mean Gene interviews the Twin Towers, who want their title shot. Don't ask me why, but I actually like this.
Meanwhile, Schiavone tries to interview Savage......bad move.
Dino Bravo vs. Rugged Ronnie Garvin
The Fink takes time to reintroduce to the Superfly.....who comes out, flashes the "I love you" sign, and just walks back up the aisle. Don't know what that was supposed to accomplish. Maybe the pointlessness of that is forshadowing of the upcoming match. Dino attacks Ronnie to start, and slams him and drops an elbow. Some forearms and a bearhug. Shoulderblock, and a foot pin gets 1. Ronnie comes back with rights and gets a 2 count. Ronnie slams Dino into the turnbuckle, and gets a rollthrough for 2. Sleeper, but Bravo makes the ropes. Ronnie gets a cradle for 2, goes for the 10 punch, but Bravo hits an atomic drop and the side slam for the 3. 1/2*. Eh.......just read the comment about Dibiase/Beefcake for my thoughts on this one.
The Brainbusters vs. Strike Force
Now, this is more like it. Again, for those who don't know or have forgotten, Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard are the Busters, and Tito Santano and Rick Martel are Strike Force. Mat stuff to start, then all 4 men are in to trade rights, and Strike Force get stereo dropkicks to send the Busters out. Back in, whip, but Arn lowers his head and Rick plants him for 1. Another cover gets 2. Arn to the bodyscissors, Rick to the Boston crab, but Tully breaks it up. Tito in, and they both get stereo figure 4s on the Busters. Crowd is totally jacked here. Beautiful pinfall sequences draw oohs from the crowd. Damn straight. Busters double team Tito, but he fights back and get a small package on Tully for 2. Tully goes for a belly to back, but Tito gets the tag to Rick while in mid-air. Tito off the ropes, going for his flying forearm, but Tully ducks and Tito wipes out Rick. Dropkick by Tully, and the MUTHAFUC.....wait, wrong fed. Arn in and he goes right to work. Fluke sunset flip, but Tully breaks it up. Corner whip, but Tito comes back with a flying crossbody for 2. Arn with a camel clutch, but Tito fights out. Corner whip, but he says hello to Arn's knee. Arn going upstairs, but Tito slams him off. Tito is almost dead now, and he......slowly......crawls....over....to Rick, reaching for the tag......and Rick takes a walk. HUGE HEAT for that. The Busters do a couple moves, then hit THE BEST SPIKE PILEDRIVER EVER. You know damn right that's getting the 3 count. **** Postmatch interview sees Martel go off on Santana.
Piper's Pit segment featuring Piper, Brother Love, and Morton Downey Jr. I won't get into this too deeply, since this is just one of those things you just have to see for yourself, but Love interviews himself, and his impression of Piper is almost dead-on. This segment is kind of hit or miss for most people.
Excellent review of the year-long MegaPowers angle. Macho won the World Title tourney at WM IV, and of course Hogan is right there in the background. They review their tag matches against the MegaBucks, various other beatdowns in which they would make the save for the other, and then the breaking point when Hogan left Savage to carry Liz back for medical attention after Liz was bumped. Hogan came back out to finish the match, then Savage left Hogan. We then get an interview from Hogan, and he is actually mostly coherent. He only uses "brotha" a few times, and that's when you know he's on. When he starts bustin brotha out every few words, you know he doesnt really have a clue what to say anymore.
Andre the Giant vs. Jake the Snake
Big John Studd is YOUR special referee. Andre goes right after Jake as soon as he gets in, and slams his head into the turnbuckle......where, mysteriously, there is no pad. Bobby, you sly devil. Andre stands on Jake, but Jake fights back and Andre is stuck in the ropes, and Jake pounds him. Andre fights loose and chokes Jake down. Headbutt, and he drives the shoulder in the corner. Again, but Andre just collapses into the top rope. Jesse tries to save it by suggested that perhaps he caught a knee, but unless it was a knee from one of Jake's hallucinations, there are only two explanations (1) Jake was supposed to get the knee up and forgot, and Andre moved on, or (2) Andre shouldnt be out there, but he's THE MAN and is willing to go all out to give the rub to Jake. I would suggest the latter, but the 1st is certainly a good possibility. Anyway.....Jake gets a kneelift and rights, and Andre is falling all over the place. I just hope he's selling really well. He recovers finally, and bitchslaps Jake all the way outside. Studd and Andre argue while Jake goes for Damian. Studd notices this and tries to stop Jake, and Andre nails him from behind. They argue again, and Dibiase is out to steal Damian, and the crowd is really into this now. Andre chokes Studd down as Jake runs down Dibiase. Jake gets him back, tosses him into the ring, and Andre of course rolls out (he's afraid of snakes), and Jake gets the win. *1/2
Hart Foundation vs. Greg Valentine and Honky Tonk Man w/Jimmy Hart
Bret destroys Honky to start with rights, a rollup and a couple atomic drops. Both tag out, and Anvil cleans Greg's clock with a dropkick and shoulderblock. Dropkick on Honky, and another shoulderblock gets 2 on Greg. Big clothesline by Anvil gets 2 again. Hammer comes back with an eye poke and snapmare, and both tag out. Bret hits a boot to the face and the middle rope elbow. Suplex, but Greg breaks up the pin. Greg distracts the ref so Honky can get Jimmy's megaphone, but Anvil gets there first, tosses it to Bret, and Bret nails Honky for the 3. *
Rick Rude w/Bobby vs. Ultimate Warrior
Rude tries to hit a knee to start, but it backfires as Warrior hasnt taken off the belt yet. Haha. Warrior slams Rude around, and we have definite clippage, as Warrior gets a bearhug. Back body drop by Warrior, and he goes into the patented Criss Cross and tries the splash, but Rude gets the knees up. Beautiful piledriver by Rude gets 2. Jawbreaker by Rude, but he can't even dance because his back hurts. Whip, clothesline gets 2. Warrior comes right back with a big clothesline, and he tosses Rude around like a little girl some more. Corner whip, but Rude ducks out of the way and Warrior eats turnbuckle. Rude Awakening attempt, but Warrior blocks and sends him out with a clothesline. Back in, and Warrior clotheslines him right back. Way to bust out the moveset, Jim. He tries to suplex Rude back in from the apron, but Bobby grabs Warrior's leg, and Rude falls on top for the pin and the title ** Well, what did you expect, it's the Ultimate frickin Warrior.......he was a weird guy who shook the ropes and the crowd loved him for it. No wrestling needed. Postmatch, Warrior gives Bobby the Gorilla Press Slam, which would be important later.
Bad News Brown vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan
Brown jumps Duggan to start with right hands, but misses a corner charge. Duggan with lefts, and a clothesline. HOOOOOO!!!!!!! I swear, where was Scott Hall when you needed him. He could have come out with an interview and said "Duggan, I want you to raise that 2 X 4 in the air, and do the one thing you can consistently do.....HOOOOO!!!!!!"......he could've then used the 3 point stance every match, and give the thumbs up after every time. I hope I'm not the only one who knows what I'm talking about with that scenario.....anyway. Both guys punch alot, until Duggan gets posted. Brown goes for the Ghetto Blaster, but he misses and Duggan hits the 3 point stance. Brown rolls outside to grab a chair, Duggan grabs the 2 X 4, and they have a fencing match with them for the double DQ. * The weapons actually drew the biggest pop of the match, and somewhere in Paul Heyman's mind an idea begins to take form.....stay tuned.
Bobby Heenan w/Brooklyn Brawler vs. Terry Taylor
I called Terry That Other Name in the match rundown, no need to do it again. Bobby comes out holding his ribs, the result of the Warrior's press slam, and Terry gets the win in about 30 seconds. 1/2* Has anyone noticed I don't give DUDs......that's because every match has some value in it, even if it's a squash, or a match involving someone you don't like. If it's terribly bad, that's what negative stars are for. Just had to get that out there.
Mean Gene interviews Liz, who says she will stand in a neutral corner and support both men. This was a waste of time.
Macho Man Randy Savage vs. Hulk Hogan
Macho comes out first. Why, I have no clue, because the champ should NEVER come out first. Liz comes out by herself, and Jesse says that she is in a win-win situation, because she is gonna leave with whoever wins tonite. Fair enough. Hogan throws Savage off to start. Side headlock by Macho, but Hogan knocks him down with a shoulderblock. Back in, Macho works the headlock again. Lots of heel stalling by Macho, which everyone eats up. Hogan chases Macho on the outside, but he hides behind Liz.....HUGE heat for that. Back in finally, and Hogan gets a hammerlock into a drop toe hold, then segues right into a headlock......did I just see that? Macho comes back with a suplex, but Hogan counters again with rights. Savage gets an eye rake and double axehandle for 2. Savage works the armbar, driving the knee right into Hogan's face. Hogan tries to fight out, but Savage yanks him back down by the hair. Jesse and Gorilla argue about the merits of cheating. Hogan finally counters by grabbing the trunks and tossing Savage outside, and Jesse goes off. Rights and elbows from Hogan, and he drags the foot across the face Eddy-style, and Jesse tells Gorilla that Hogan is as dirty as a wrestler as they come. Jesse is going off on Hogan and the fans the whole time here, calling them the Pukester's and Huckster's for cheering a guy who cheats. Nothing works like the truth.
Hogan with rights, but he misses a charge, and Savage right back to the headlock. Not resthold headlocks, but crowd working headlocks, there is a difference. Hogan is bleeding now, but it's about .000000001 Muta. Hogan hulks up and catches Savage's foot and gives him an atomic drop. Savage jumps Hogan from behind when he isn't looking, and rolls him up for 2. Savage stomps right on Hogan's hand, but this only pisses him off and he comes back with rights and a clothesline in the corner. Hogan picks Savage up and just tosses him casually over the top rope to the floor in a nice bump. Hogan follows and gets Savage on his shoulder, but Liz blocks his path so he can't post Savage. Savage wiggles out, and he promptly posts Hogan. Savage has words for Liz, and Earl Hebner finally has enough and tells Liz to basically get the fuck out. Savage hits a double axehandle to the outside, and Hogan hits the railing. Savage works the throat, and hangs Hogan on the top rope. Running middle rope ass splash, and follows with a knee right in the throat. Savage chokes Hogan with his wrapping tape, and the crowd is seriously heating up as they sense the inevitable. Savage doesn't want that though, and he chokes Hogan down some more. Hogan is almost gone, and Savage head upstairs and hits the Flying Elbow, which gets.....about 1.5. What the fuckin shit is that? Let me get this straight. Savage has been the champ for a year, Hogan has just taken a beating, the champ has hit his finisher, and Hogan can't even sell it long enough for 2.9999999 count? He has to kick out at 1.5? Does anyone have a sense of drama and timing? If you've ever seen a Hogan match, we can fast forward the next fifteen seconds........if by some miracle you haven't (please e-mail me and tell me your story if this is the case), it's big boot, leg drop, see ya. **** Nutso megapop for the Hogan win, as there is no way in hell that Hogan could have lost this match after a year of storyline building up to it. As Hogan poses, Jesse absolutely goes nuts on Hogan and the Pukesters, saying there is no depths that Hogan wouldn't sink to as long as he got his own way. I wonder what it was like to be a smark back in the day and listening to Jesse go off like that, because when I hear it now it's just.....it's hard to believe that they would allow him to say that, even if he was in heel character. Oh well.
I remember being saddened by this show after it happened, as I was still a mark (because I was about 10 years old). You see, back in the day, battle lines were drawn on three different fronts when it came to discussing wrestling, at least for me. You liked Hogan, you like Warrior, or you liked Savage. Those were considered the "Big Three"......in the WWF at least. Really, those were the only 3 guys that were consistently pushed as main event caliber. While Hogan and Warrior controlled most of the minds of the people I knew who liked wrestling, Savage was my man at that time, I could remember being firmly against Hogan going into this show, even though Savage was clearly the heel. Granted, a short time after this I would be clearly behind Bret and never look back, and I'll always take great pride in being one of the people who was cheering hard for Bret while being in the lower end of the card until he got seriously pushed, but at the time, Savage was my man and I was heartbroken. Shit happens though.
Official Grade-- B. Solid wrestling throughout the card for the most part, with a kick ass main event. Two **** matches and nothing totally sucky on the undercard actually puts this in the upper echelon of WrestleManias. It's a damn shame that the Blue Blazer/Perfect match was clipped, but ultimately, WrestleMania V is a damn enjoyable show and well worth watching, from the first match to the very end.