Slamboree 95
A Legends Reunion
 

**Once again, an older review.  Again, take it as you will**
 
 

This......is Slam......oh to hell with it, this show doesnt even deserve my traditional greeting to a show.  The Ides of March are upon us my friends, and Caesar should be glad he was merely stabbed to death, while I actually reviewed this bullshit.  Usually I would try to make it ambiguous about how I feel about the show so I can get you to read it, but this piece of shit is so bad I wouldnt subject you to that torture.  So, if you want to save yourself 10 minutes of your life, I'm sure you could bang your head against the wall and have more fun doing that then experiencing through my recap the horror that is Slamboree 95.  I've looked around the net and noticed this show hasnt been reviewed......I know why.  Now, there is a little piece of historical significance to this show, but to save you the potential death by boredom, I'll just say that a REALLY BIG GUY made his first appearance during this show.  Yet, I've decided to undertake this punishment, of my own free will, to spare you the agony of actually viewing this show if you see.  So....on to YOUR matchlist.......
 

Harlem Heat vs.  The Nasty Boys    Tag Team Title Match
The Man with No Name vs.  Kevin Sullivan
Dirty Dick Murdoch vs.  Wahoo McDaniel
Great Muta  vs.  Paul Orndorff    IWGP Title Match
Arn Anderson vs.  Alex Wright    TV Title Match
Meng w/Colonel Parker  vs.   Hawk
Sting vs.  Big Bubba
Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage vs.  Ric Flair and Vader
 

From St. Petersburg FL, 5/21/1995     Your hosts are Eric Bischoff and The Brain
 

Harlem Heat vs.  The Nasty Boys

Sigh.  Well, let's go ahead and get this over with before I feel the need decapitate myself.  You know, this show reminded me of the Highlander movie (the first movie, not the shitty sequels).  The police have picked Connor up and they are asking him about the headless guy in the parking garage, and Connor offers up this theory in defense  "You know what I think?  I think he was so distraught by the crappy wrestling he saw in the Garden tonite, that he went out into the garage, and in a fit of depression chopped off his own head."  That's your Slamboree summary, in it's barest elements......anyway......let's try this again.

Harlem Heat vs.  The Nasty Boys.

Sags is alone to start because Knobs was previously injured.  Sherri isnt.....well.....looking very nice.  Stevie starts for Harlem.  Trading punches, and Sags dominates Stevie with a few clotheslines.  Both HH come in, and Sags gives them a double DDT.  Sags nails Sherri when she jumps up on the apron, which gets a big pop.  Pumphandle slam gets 2 for Sags.  Stevie back in, and Sags gets a headbutt to the nuts, and a slam.  Up top, and Sags hits a big elbow, but Booker breaks.  Sherri distracts Sags, and Heat take over.  Choking by Stevie, and Sags rolls outside, where Sherri greets him with slaps.  Stevie rams Sags into the rai.  Back in, we hit the chinlock so they can discuss post match dinner reservations.  Snapmare by Booker, he misses the elbow, but spins up to hit the sidekick.  Tag to Stevie, and a dropkick and sideslam.  Booker up top, and he hit the Harlem Hangover, but they don't cover quick enough and it gets 2.  Stevie then totally botches a leg drop from the bottom rope, and Booker back in.  Whip, but Sags catches Booker in the Owendriver, and (surprise surprise) Knobs runs out.  Hot tag to Knobs, and it's a BlueLight Special on clotheslines and slams.......we have them in stock, all of them must go.  Bulldog on Booker, and he back body drops Stevie outside.  Sherri up top, but he calmly catches her and launches her out to Stevie.  Serious consideration for bump of the night right there.  No, I'm not kidding.  Powerslam by Knobs, and Sags comes off the top with the big elbow and the 3.  The Nasty Boys are your new champs.  **  Postmatch, the Blue Bloods come out and stare at the Nasty Boys, then Regal decides they are too nasty to be in his general vicinity.  Then, the Nasty Boys meet up with Gene Mean, and proceed to give a completely incoherent interview (not the last tonite though).  The crowd was actually very into this one.  Unfortunately, at **, this is your match of the night.  Proceed at your own risk.
 

The Booty Butcher Beefcake Disciple with No Name or Face (or heat) vs. Kevin Sullivan

There's some history here actually, but this match already sucks without getting into that.  Kevin gives a rambling incoherent interview......geez.  Anyway, No Name Ed jumps Kev immediately, and they (allegedly) brawl outside.  Lots of choking by Booty.  Back in, 10 punch in the corner, which the crowd barely counts for.  Right there, you know its bad.  A 10 punch is almost guaranteed crowd participation....but not tonite.  I think they instinctively realize this sucks.  Beefcake gets a clothesline and sleeper and.......basically he does that over and over, and no-sells everything Kevin hits him with, until the ending when Butcher misses a splash in the corner, Kev puts him in the tree of woe and hits a running knee.  Then we get the devastating double foot stomp....for 3.  -1/2*  What the fuck?  Then, this guy in like a blue ice cave gets on the big screen and starts rambling about Sullivan and Hulkamania or some such stuff, but we dont really know cause you cant understand him.  I have no clue who or what that was, and for one of the few times in my life, I'm glad I don't a piece of wrestling trivia.  Not knowing means I cant fully grasp the utter stupidity of it and waste precious brain cells.
 

Next, we get another rambling incoherent interview segment, this time with Hogan, Savage, and Jimmy Hart.  oooooohhhhhhh.....NO!
 

Next, we have the Legends Match between Dick Murdoch and Wahoo McDaniel.  I didnt review this, but now that I think about it, I probably should have.  This would probably be your match of the night....yes, this show is THAT pathetic.
 

Big Bubba interview......yep, nothing logical or coherent about it.
 

Great Muta vs. Paul Orndorff     IWGP Title

Stalling to start.  Lots of stalling.....for a long time.  Did you know that Joe Sewell only struck out 114 times in over 8000 plate appearances in major league baseball.....that of course is a record.  Most guys strike out over 100 times in ONE SEASON, but this guy was an incredible contact hitter in the 20s and 30s for the Indians and Yankees.  Pat Conaway once struck him out twice in the same game, a feat which was never accomplished again.  Pat accomplished that in an April game......Sewell didnt strike out the rest of the year.  Oh.....what does this have to do with the match?  Absolutely nothing, it's just more interesting.  Stalling, more stalling, they both show off 14 minutes of chinlocks and side headlocks, then Muta gets a backbreaker and the moonsault for the pin.  -**1/2.  Was one of them injured or something?  I think two headless corpses could have put on a more entertaining match.    If you want to kill someone, just make him watch this match.
 

Arn Anderson vs. Alex Wright

Well, I think I might get a little entertainment value out of this one.  Wright is still underfeated rookie here.  They lockup and do their best imitation of the previous match, as they hold the headlock for awhile.  Uh.  Whip, and Alex confuses Arn by jumping around....back to the headlock.  Finally get up, Alex gets an enziquiri.....can we guess what happens next?  If you said headlock, you've read too much of this recap already.  SAVE YOURSELF!!!!  Dropkick....back to the headlock.  Arn finally gets up, misses an enziquiri, and Alex puts on a not very good STF.  Arn gets the ropes and rolls outside, and Alex hits a baseball slide and tope con hilo.  Alex works a hammerlock, and Arn taps his shoulder a bunch of times, and goes for the elbow, but it looks like Alex has no clue.  Finally, Arn says "Fuck it" and ROCKS him with an elbow.  The ref has a questioning look on his face, and Arn shrugs like "Hey, he fucked up, I was in a hammerlock for a good 30 seconds there."  Arn hits an atomic drop, but Alex must not have any balls because he no-sells it.  BIG spinebuster by Arn, and he slingshots him against the bottom rope, and starts choking.  Arn goes for the figure 4, but Alex blocks.  Whip, kick, and a suplex by Alex.  Alex up top and he hits a beautiful missile dropkick.  They trade rollup attempts, then elbows.  Alex throws a right, but Arn ducks, and Arn fakes a left, Alex ducks, and Arn plants him with a DDT.  Nice spot there.....Alex is stupid.  *1/2  Nothing special, but it did pick up after Arn got going on offense.  The first half is Alex trying to be a mat wrestler, which he is not, and he just looks stupid and out of place.
 

Meng vs.  Hawk

Bischoff says that Meng is so dangerous he's not even allowed in Japan.  And Steve Williams is? Haha.  Meng made his debut on the Saturday Night Main Event before this show and beat Brian Pillman, so Hawk has come out to defend WCW......or some such.  Meng fires away to start, dominating Hawk.  Clothesline and a piledriver, but it's no-sold by Hawk.  Hawk samples post on the charge, then rolls outside.  Lots of stalling now.  Backbreaker by Meng gets 2.  Kicks and punches by Hawk, but Meng barely blinks.  They trade chops.  Hawk goes up top and misses a splash, and they roll outside and brawl around for the double countout.  1/2*  Jeez.
 

We get Hall of Fame inductions now, as Gordon Solie brings out Wahoo McDaniel, Terry Funk, Angelo Poffo, Antonio Inoki, and Dusty Rhodes, and Big John Studds' son comes out to accept for him.  Dusty then announces Gordon.  Hey, I don't know if in the middle of a very bad PPV is the time to do this, but what the hell.....
 

Sting vs. Big Bubba

The stipulations are that this is a Lights Out Match.  I don't get what that is, but lights didnt go out, nobody got knocked out or anything close to it, so apparently it's just a regular match.  Forget you ever heard it's a lights out match.  Standing around (what a surprise) to start, and we get some armbars until Sting gets a dropkick, and Bubba goes outside.  Bubba back in, and you can read the previous sentence to find out what happened.  Back in again, Sting gets a back body drop.   Bubba had brought a table out with him, and he eventually gets it set up in the corner (it's not our classic breakaway table though, this one is rock hard).  Stinger splash misses, and Sting hits the table.  Bossman slam gets 2, and Bubba heads up top.  Flair-toss off by Sting.  Slam, and top rope splash gets 2.  Punches by Sting, and Scorpion Deathlock finishes it off for the submission.  *  The fans liked the fact that Sting won.......but their silence for the rest of the match acknowledged that this match, indeed, also sucked.  Just like the rest of the show.
 

Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage vs.  Ric Flair/Vader

The Enforcer is out with Flair and Vader, and Jimmy Hart and Renegade are out with the pseudo-faces.   Vader pounds on Hogan to start, but Hogan rakes the eyes.  Corner whip reversed, but Hogan hits a clothesline, and Vader rolls out.  Savage runs over and hits a double axehandle.  Double whip, but Vader crushes both of them.  Vader tosses Savage around, and Flair comes in and works Savage over.  Chops, but Savage immediately start no-selling and punches abound.  Flair flip, then Flair flop.  Back body drop by Savage, and he clotheslines Flair over the top rope (now, correct me if I am wrong, but was that not a DQ.....yeah, I thought so too).  Back in, Flair works Savage over in the corner, but Savage again comes back.  Well at least it's painfully obvious that Flair's job is to.....well.....job.  And let Savage and Hogan try to make him look bad doing it. We see the Giant in the entrance way in the background (unnamed though, no one knows who he is yet)  Tag to Hogan, and the first thing he does is rake the eyes.  My God man, you are supposed to be a FACE.  Hogan no-sells everything, and gets clotheslines and punches.  Snapmare, and Flair goes up top, but of course he gets tossed off.  Hogan puts the figure 4 on Flair, and I literally want to rip my eyes out.  I'm wishing that Flair would just start no-selling everything on Hogan, but I know it won't happen, because Flair is a professional.  Arn helps him out though, and Flair takes out the knees.   Vader in, and he works the knee.  Suplex, but Hogan no-sells.  Shocker.  Hogan whips, but Vader just runs him over.   Come on, Leon, kick some ass.  Vader gets a big splash in the corner, and the middle rope slingshot splash....but he doesnt cover.  He goes up top and tries another from there.  Tags out, and Savage gets rights.  Flair back with an elbow, but gets tossed off the top again.  Savage elbow, but Arn breaks it up.  Kneedrop, and Flair tags Vader.  HUGE moonsault by Vader, and by the miracle of SavageHoganness, he of course kicks out at 2.  Vader pounds him in the corner.  Flair in, big chops, but Savage gets the tag to Hogan.  Typical Hogan offense commences, and he gets a slam on Vader.  Whip on Flair, weak ass big boot, but Arn grabs his leg going for the legdrop.  Vader in, big splash, and Hogan kicks out at 2.  Hulking up, Arn accidently hits Flair, and Hogan hits the legdrop for 3.  *  Postmatch, the heels beat ass, and Angelo Poffo runs in to stop Flair.......Flair backs off in respect, then slaps the figure 4 on ol' Angelo.
 
 
 

Official Grade-- F.  In the strongest possible terms, F, F, F, F, F.  Did you really get this far?  Do you really need to read my recommendation?  If you see this tape, don't buy it.  Don't rent it, even if it's only a quarter.  If you do have this show, don't sell it to anybody, or you will surely get sent to hell for doing such an evil deed.  If you see this tape for free, destroy it.  In fact, just destroy no matter what.  My lord man, don't waste part of your life viewing this thing.  Worst PPV I've ever seen.