Royal Rumble 2000
by Brandon
**Another review from Brandon. Again, not on the level of his Super J review, but still good.**
Live from MSG, my favorite ppv of the year. The Rumble, love them or leave them, the fed has always delivered huge when they roll around. No real method to my madness as I picked this one to rant on, I just wanted to see the Jack match again. Plus, yet another example to APW of how I review shows I LIKE.
On to the tape gladiator
Kurt Angle vs To Be Announced
The Dudley Boyz vs The Hardyz in a Tag Team Table
Chris Jericho vs Chyna vs Hardcore Holly IC title
The New Age Outlaws vs The APA Tag Team Title
Cactus Jack vs HHH in a streetfight for the WWF title
The Royal RumbleWe are rented from Blockbuster commercially released from a pay per view recorded live on January 23 rd from the questionable confines of the Madison Square Garden.
Your hosts for the fun fanfare are Good Ol JR and Jerry the Queen Lawler.
We open with a really good promo package detailing the title match. I still mark out for the Japanese footage.
And we head straight for the action as Hail to the Patriot hits the sound system.
Kurt Angle vs TBA (that is an indy gimmick waiting to happen)
Kurt Angle is in his infinitely better clueless dope version of his character. He is trying to get people to like him and be better people and he can't understand their boos. He cuts a promo on the pathetic Knicks and the horrific city of New York City. He then turns to the question of his opponent, basicially saying "your welcome for the chance to face me"
I should mention at this time that the crowd is chanting Tazz. I should also mention that a certain someone who shall remain nameless but swears up and down that he is the icon of internet writing totally miscalled this. The marks knew but he didn't.....
So in short, Tazz makes his debut. And we open with some punches and a whip and Tazz back body drops Angle over the top rope. Tazz follows and tries to suplex him on the floor but Angle reverses and suplexes Tazz on the unforgiving Concrete (or particle board as Schiavone would say). Lots of punching and kicking follow. Whip and Angle gets a shoulderblock. Angle whips Tazz to the corner and Angle hits the Nash choke in the corner. Angle hits his swank overhead belly to belly. Angle up top, but Tazz meets him up there and gets a super Tazz/Gargoyleplex for the pin but wait, Angle had his foot on the ropes. While Tazz argues Angle gets a small package for 2. Angle hits a German bridged for 2. Angle goes for the olympic slam but Tazz slips out and hits a nasty, nasty german suplex for 2. You know the german where the guy lands on his stomach instead of his back? Tazzplex and a t-bone follow for the Man o' Orange. Angle up and Tazz hits the tazzmission for the duke and beginning of a controversy that went nowhere. *3/4 Short and to the point. Angle's winning streak ended and was still protected by a supposed choke. My main problem however was, they were trying to prove that Tazz is a badass but it should have been a mauling. Angle got way too much offense in for what was presented.
Northern Lights Cole is with the Hardyz. Dear God they let them speak!
Coliseum home video exclusive with Tazz. Nothing really to report. If you knew who Tazz was before, this is nothing new.
Hardyz vs Dudleyz Tag Team Table match
The goal here is to put each member of the team through a table. Simple enough for me. The Dudz come out and extoll the virtues of John Rocker. Funny enough, but if you pay attention you hear the King say, "You
know that John Rocker is Ted Turner's favorite ball player." Or something to that effect. Being as WCW was in a racial lawsuit, that is funny to me.Jump the gun and begin with punching when the Hardyz join us. Buh Buh opens up with that Full Nelson Atomic Drop thing that he does on Jeff. The Dudz set up a table center ring. Wow that didn't take long. Buh
buh whips Jeff into the ropes and plans to back body Jeff through the table but Matt throws the table out of the way. Matt hits BBR (Buh Buh Ray) and BBR bails but Jeff hits him with a somersault tope. In the ring Devon and Matt continuely tease a table bump. Outside Jeff hits BBR with a chair and sets him up on a leaning table. He goes for the rail runner but BBR hits him in the face with a chair in midair. Fuck! BBR and Matt are in the Ring. Matt is knocked around and set on a table by BBR. BBR goes up top but Matt and Jeff meet him up there and try for a double superplex they hit it but Devon had moved the table out of the way. Matt bails and comes back in with a ladder?! Hardyz clear the ring. Matt follows BBR outside and sets up a table. Matt beats the hell out of BBR with a chair and puts him on a table. Matt sets up a ladder outside and climbs it. He slaps Devon around (why does it have to be the brother?) and points to the camera and leaps off and out of
nowhere Jeff Hardy hits Buh Buh with a splash. The EVENT OMEGA BABY!!!Devon back up and levels Matt with a chair. Matt and Jeff get around to setting up a very complicated table spot. They set some ring steps on end and put a table from the apron on it. Then they lean another table against the rail. Jeff sets Devon on the elevated table and Matt goes for a leg drop but misses as Devon leans against the other table, Jeff goes for the somersault tope but Devon dodges and Jeff goes through the other table. That was a lot cooler when not in text. Dudz throw some ring steps in the ring and set a table on top of them. Dudz hit the superbomb on Matt through the table.
All bail and into the crowd we go. Eventually we get to a entrance way. The Dudz set up four tables underneath a balcony. Meantime in a jail somewhere, New Jack has to be restrained while yelling "THAT MY SHIT MAN THAT MY SHIT!!!!" The Dudz put Matt on top of the tables and are about to do something but Jeff saves. Jeff and BBR fight to the topof the balcony and Jeff bangs away on BBR (with a chair) and BBR falls through three of the tables. "MUTHAFUGGA, THE 187 IS MY SHIT NIGGA!!!" Matt puts Devon on the remaining table and Jeff hits the Swanton for the win. ***3/4 I intially gave this four stars but in contrast to what has happenned between these teams later it is the runt of the litter so to speak.
We check in with Angle and he's all loopy saying that he never lost and stuff.
Miss Rumble 2000 swimsuit competition: Here's the deal. I think we all know what happenned here. The less I say the better. The only thing I will say is this, Man I can go for some oatmeal right now.
Coliseum home video brings us Angle. Ok.
Chris Jericho vs Chyna vs Curmudgeony Bob Holly
I wonder if Bob is going to do the Penis Suplex to Chyna? That was pathetic even for me.
A little bit before this there was a controversy as to who was the rightful IC champ being as Chyna and Jericho either pinned each other or both pinned someone. I forget and I burned the image of Chyna's IC run from my mind. Anyway, McStephie said that Y2J and Chyna are co-holders of the belt. So they both have to defend the belt.
And now the match.
Stare down and Bob knocks Chyna down and goes for Chris. Whips and Chris gets a hiptoss on Bob. Everyone up and we have a slapfest. Man I haven't seen that many bitchslaps since the Bulldog was married. Thank you, I'll be here all week. Chyna puts the boots to Bob and a whip to the corner is reversed and Chyna completes the trifecta of DX by doing the Shawn Michaels/HHH corner bump. Criss cross sequence ending with the Holly DROPKICK OF UTTER CURMUDGEONATION!!! More whips and Jericho hits that silly little forearm of his. (the following is in vein of Scott Keith) ALABAMA VIOLENCE, as the true men of the match, and by that I mean Jericho and Bob-questionable call I know, lay stiff ass chops to each other. Whip and Bob goes for a rana but Jericho holds on and slaps on the Walls. Chyna having read her bible runs in and BREAKS THE WALLS DOOOOOOWWWNWWNNNNNNN. Whip to a back elbow by Chyna on Y2J. Bob goes for the pin but Chyna dumps him. Chyna whips Y2j to the ropes and Holly grabs Jericho's foot. Chyna off the ropes and Chris dodges and Chyna hits the baseball slide on Bob. Jericho does the Benoit Patented Springboard plancha. Really if Benoit never wrestled, Jericho's offense would be catchphrases only. Chris is whip to the corner and Chris, being the man that he is actually sells that shitty, shitty handspring of Chyna's. Out of the corner and Chyna hits a DDT on Chris for 2. Bob broke up the count and dumps Chyna. Chyna pulls herself up on the apron as Y2j is whipped into the ropes and Chyna accidentally lowbridges Chris outside. Holly knocks Chyna off the apron.
Holly gets a chair and goes for Jericho but turns around as Chyna dropkicks the chair into Holly's face. Chyna rolls Bob into the ring and her and Jericho climb two turnbuckles. They both hit a splash and Bob kicks out at two. Chris and Chyna argue over something and start to go. Chyna flips out of a belly to back and gets a greco-roman ballshot on Chris. Bob wanders over expressing his distaste of carnival rides. Chyna gets a shitty pedigree on him for 2. Chyna goes up top but Holly meets her and puts her on his shoulders. Jericho comes from the top to complete the Device that gets 2 for Chris. Bob goes up top and Chris goes for a superplex but Chyna crotches both of them. Jericho bails but Bob is sitting on the top turnbuckle. Chyna gets a superplex but Holly cradles for 2. Bob and Chris begin to fight on the apron as Chyna gets a chair. Bob gets a chair shot and Chyna clinches on the Walls, damn does she have her own moves? Jericho hits his silly bulldog and the
quebrada for the win and undisputed claim on the IC title. Take that Joanie you delusional bitch. **3/4
Coliseum home video exclusive moment with Y2J. Are you getting the joke yet? Jericho calls the belt the Interchrisanental Championship.
Tag Team Title Match
NAO vs APA
The APA won this match during a battle royal that was on Armageddon. By the way, I don't know when the Armageddon rant will happen but in a quick sentence, two boobs and bad booking. Avoid!
NAO does there usual stuff. God that got old. Funny how history has erased the New Age Outlaws. I love history.
APA runs in and starts beating the shit out of DX. Gunn and Bradshaw start this shindig. Criss cross and a Gunn Dropkick is no sold by Bradshaw. Billy tries again with a cross body but Bradshaw catches him, kicks an interfereing Road Dogg and hits a sweet fallaway slam. For some reason Dogg and Ron Simmons go. (I know that's not what he is called but the man is a history maker and I'll show him some respect) Powerslam by Ron and he goes for the Dominator but Gunn makes the save. Dogg starts the jive turkey fist but Bradshaw saves the show from plummeting into silliness by blocking the shaky leg knee drop. Pier six brawl. Gunn is whipped and Bradshaw hits a massive Clothesline from hell. Angry man slam on Dogg but the pin is broken up. Gunn thrown out and APA hits the double powerbomb on Dogg. Xpac runs out and amid all the hubbub Gunn hits the rockerdropper on Ron for the 3. *3/4 That was all of three minutes long. Something big must need sometime.
Streetfight for the WWF Title
Cactus Jack vs HHH
Cactus comes out first because tradition rules! HHH comes out and has one of the all time great facials on. Stephanie beats it backstage. In the ring and Jack starts talking shit in a way only Foley can. ITS GO TIME!! They start hammering away at each other, with fists not...you know what I mean. In the corner and Jack hits the apeshit fist flurry but Trippa bails before the knee. Jack outside and hits a swinging neckbreaker on the floor. Jack back in and tells the world which verb best describes his relationship with Al Snow's ass "BANG BANG" Meanwhile Trippa sticks his head in between the ropes and Cactus drops a leg. We head outside as Jack throws Trippa around, Trippa finds the ring bell and blasts Mick. Trippa gets a chair and throws it in the ring. He gets in and taunts Mick. Jack joins Trippa inside and is greeted with a devastating blast to the side of his head. Proof that Mick has been hit too many times: to paraphrase "I think blasts to the side of the face do less damage then straight on" Sure. Trippa goes to take off a turnbuckle pad but Jack gets up and beats him down. Jack puts the chair on Trippa's face and hits an Arabian facebuster. We head outside where Jack back bodies Trippa into the crowd. Into the crowd and back to the entranceway. If I haven't mentioned it the entrance is an alleyway looking thing complete with a taxicab over head and bricks to throw Trippa through. Jack sets up a pallet and suplexes Trippa into it. That particular move slices a gully on Trippa's left leg. Jack hits Trippa with a trash can. Then Jack continuely throws HHH into the door of the entrance. Jack has a headlock and walks HHH back to the ring but Trippa stops and belly to back suplexes Mick onto a garbage can. They trade blows outside and Jack gets the apeshit flurry in the corner of the ring and the steps and does hit the running knee through the steps! Jack looks underneath the ring and OH SHIT IT'S A 2X4 WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE!!! YOU DANGER MAN!!
Jack teases mayhem but Trippa ballshoots Mick and takes the wood. He lays into Mick a few times really beating some ass. Jack with a punch to the midsection and hits Trippa in the nuts with the lumber. Jack hits the doublearm DDT while Hebner hides the 2X4. The crowd never booed at him so much since Montreal. After a long two count Jack pops up and demands the bat. Earl being the colossal pussy he is when it comes to people demanding things--swear on your kids my ass--gives in and Jack gets a decidely different looking bat from Pedro Morales. Jack starts laying it to Hunter, with the lumber not his-you know what I mean. He gets a two count off of a lumber assisted elbowdrop. Hunter blades like a man. He gets to a .5 Muta without any difficulty. Jack introduces Trippa to the American table. He goes for the piledriver but Trippa stands up and a nasty table bump for both follows. Back in and Hunter is in control. He goes for the pedigree but Jack gets the catapault and a face crusher into the wire for 2. Cactus Line follows. Jack pulls one of his sicker moves out of the closet, that insane hiptoss into the steps. Trippa follows up with a whip into the steps that sends Jack over. Jack's knee is officially fuct. Trippa gets a few chopblocks to put Jack down. Trippa then proceeds to go apeshit with the wire on Jack's knees. Trippa goes outside and gets a pair of handcuffs from the Fink. Pat Pattereson is visibly depressed as a great night is ruined. Curse you Finkel!
Jack fights off for a bit but Trippa does get the cuffs on him. The Foley household must be extremely pissed at this point. Trippa gets the ringsteps and is about to jack Jack but Cactus gets a drop toe hold on Trippa. While he's laying there Jack falls on his nuts and starts biting him. ON THE EAR!! Jesus you people need a life. Trippa starts with the chairshots we all saw coming but god bless him goes for the back. Jack leads Trippa to the entrance and gets hit in the head and begs for more. Right as Trippa is about to level Mrs Foley's baby boy The Rock comes out and blasts Trippa. A cop comes out and unlocks Foley and the crowd goes NUT! Jack takes Trippa to the spanish table and gets the piledriver but the table no sells and I cringe. Jack throws Hunter inside and Jack finds something under the ring. Oh no it's thumbtacks. Stephanie runs out and while the ref is distracted Jack and Hunter tease tacks. Jack runs at Hunter but gets back bodied into the tacks. Oh fuck. Back up Trippa gets the pedigree for 2!!! Jack up and Trippa hits another pedigree INTO THE FUCKING TACKS FOR THE WIN. ***** that was the sickest thing I've seen in a long time. Post match Trippa is stretchered out but Jack attacks and pummels Hunter in the ring.
Damn that was a roller coaster. The thing I love about that match is the right man won.
The Rumble.
I really did not want to sit through this thing after the last match so I lifted the entrants off of another page and I talk about the finish when it comes up.
The intervals are 90 seconds this year.
1 D-Lo
2 Grandbasta Junkay
3 Mosh
Run in by Kaientai
4 Christian
5 Rikishi
6 Scotty 2 Hotty
7 Blackman
8 Viscera
9 Big Bossman
10 Test
11 Bulldog
12 Gangrel
Kaientai run in with nasty Taka injury
13 Edge
14 Senator Bob Backlund
15 Jericho
16 Crash Holly
17 Chyna
18 Ron Simmons
19 Road Dogg
20 Al Snow
21 Val Venis
Funaki run in
22 Prince Albert
23 Hardcore Holly
24 The Rock
25 Mr. Ass
26 Big Slow
27 Bradshaw
Posse run in
28 Kane
29 Godfather
30 X-PacFinal four: Kane vs Rock vs X-Pac vs Big Slow
X-pac is thrown out by the Rock but the refs are distracted and miss it. Kane and Big slow suck the heat out of the building. Kane debuts his eric wattish enziguiri. Eventually it winds down to The Rock and the Big Show. The eliminate each other but the Rock pulls himself back in for the win. Great Rumble but pales in comparison to the next year's version
Final Thoughts: Great, great show. One of the best matches in WWF history. Yes the New Age Outlaw match was that good. All kidding aside this was a great show. The Rumble itself was fantastic and only 2001 would give it a run for it's money. The Hardyz relentless drive towards Death was well done and the Dudleyz actually had a good match. Nothing more needs to be said about the Jack Trippa fued which in my mind was one of the most important of the late 90's.
Get this tape and never look at Grandma the same way again......
Jeremiah's Official Grade-- A-. Royal Rumble is a weird PPV to grade, since the Rumble match itself usually makes or breaks the show, since it dominates the show. Probably middle of the pack as Rumbles go, but still entertaining Rumble. The HHH/Cactus match is required viewing....he might have been fairly over before, but this match made HHH into a legitimate star and top draw. The Tables match has become the sad victim of this show....with the TLC matches, this one almost never comes up anymore in any discussion of very good/great hardcore matches.