How many times have you played Minesweeper in the past five minutes? Twenty, and I've already moved on to Elf Bowling. None! Didn't you hear what Lex just said?! None, because my goddamn computer has been running Norton for the past two days, and I swear if it doesn't work soon it'll be in pieces on the ground below my window. The mines are strewn across the path of our lives. (Deep sigh.) I'd like to plant a mine under your seat. Yeah, heh heh... What's Minesweeper? Who is your current TV idol? Dr. Perry Cox ("Scrubs") Lex Luthor ("Smallville") The Devil ("Brimstone") Dan Rydell ("Sports Night") Lana Lang ("Smallville") Daria Morgendorffer ("Daria") What song did you just enqueue in Winamp? anything by Nine Inch Nails Toy-box -- "Tarzan and Jane" I loaded the entire playlist and skipped most of the songs. anything that can currently be heard on MTV VAST -- "Pretty When You Cry" anything by Jude You are having a conversation with your roommate. Your side of the conversation consists mostly of... Silence. I'm just sitting in my desk chair, doing something on the computer, while she blathers on. "Oh. My. GOD!" "Yeah. Uh-huh. Yup." "Wait. David Bowie? HoYay? What?" "Motherfucker!" "Yeah, so says the English major." It's Friday night. Which movie are you watching? Labyrinth Heavenly Creatures The Big Lebowski Velvet Goldmine Titanic American Psycho There is a certain pale, chubby, blond, annoying individual; we'll call her "Rudy." Anyway, "Rudy" has started one of her self-involved, one-sided conversations. What's your reaction? Stare at her, focus your energy, and see if you can bore a hole through her head. Interrupt frequently and make snarky comments. Rip her fucking head off! Listen intently, offering consolation when she speaks often of her upcoming prelims and laughing heartily when she tells another one of her this-one-time-at-Risley stories. What? Who cares? Too many pretty boys, too little time! Roll your eyes and feel sorry for yourself because you have to listen to this on a weekly basis. It's nine o'clock on a Tuesday night. What are you doing? Watching "Smallville." Watching "Smallville." Watching "Smallville." Watching "Smallville." Watching "Smallville." Well, I have a lot of work to do, and I kinda want to get some of it finished... You've got two papers to write, one of which was due last Friday. What are you doing right now? Chill-axin', 'cause I finished those papers, like, weeks ago. Listening to "Supernatural" (By Divine Right), talking about how much cooler it would've been had the song been used in a CLexy way. Writing the papers, but very slowly, maybe at a speed of one sentence every ten minutes. Saying something like, "Fuck! I hate papers! I hate writing! Stupid distribution requirements! School sucks! God dammit! That's it, I quit!" Eh. Whatever. I'll do the papers later. I'm doing everything humanly possible to procrastinate even more. LodeRunner, anyone?

Last updated 26 August 2004.