chp 9 Lvnije and Ladybugs

 

      Once upon a time, for reasons I didn’t understand, I lost a friend. We were as close as two people could have been in this world. I enjoyed (to an extent) our friendship and I’m sure (to an extent)

      There is a ladybug on my room mate’s bunk. I almost didn’t see it – it blends so well with the polished wood alloy.

      Lindsey has not called me in days, has not stopped by. I asked her room mate and she said she was alive and well. Other friends, she had and saw -- newer friends. Well, I suppose she is done with me – it happens sometimes. Without reason, it happens, but it doesn’t really need a reason. People move on, people meet other people, people get left behind -- others, well, don’t.

      It walks in circles above me. The ladybug, he must be lost.

      Gramond saved me once from permanent death. He was the only one who knew how to kill me; I cannot think it, though. What if someone created a thought-reading device? What if he was in the next room? They would know how to kill me, the whole world would know!

      But wait. Anything could kill me, now. I could be drowned in a toilet, pushed down the stairs. It is a diamond bladed sword, easily constructed by the master sorcerer. Gramond had told the Council once, but later convinced them to spare my life by holding me in a vegetative state until I was needed again.

      What a nice guy.

      I shut up and listen. There are people outside the door; they are laughing about something. The hum computer. The grumble vent. Deeper, though the floor. Murmurs. Footsteps. Beyond that, it is impossible. I listen to the ocean.

      I hear the soft pat of the ladybug dropping on my bunk. It walks towards me.

      “Hello.”

      I have missed breakfast, so I will have to wait until lunch to get some food. I cannot afford any food, but I will not eat the ladybug. I have not done any of my homework, but I will go to class today because that is what I do. I will walk alone because no one will walk with me, though I am not upset because we all walk alone even though we live in the same building.

      I stop thinking because it looks like the ladybug has something to say.

      I listen, but I only hear the ocean.

      If there is no ocean, why do I keep hearing it?

      The ladybug does not know either. He does not even notice which direction he is walking in. 

      I rcjlly wolkd lnke to wnite a sjoby alojt Lvnije.

      But I cannot. Not even if I tried. If I do, I have a habit of remembering things that never happened.

     

      “Hnllo!”

      “Hjllo!”

      I sxije. He sxijes.

      “I wejt to a cobext ald a gnil bext me up,” I cry.

      “Pner Nbuwebss! Aze ynu anjibht?”

      “I lomt. Sle bext me bajty.”

      “Aze ynu hukt?”

     

      My arms are still yellow, my shoulders too. The ones on my face are almost gone, though.

      I think the lady bug notices – but I see it bothers him because he is going in circles. With a fingernail, I give a little push in a direction, but I only manage to flip him on his back. No! No! his little legs cry. I am more careful this time to flip him back on his legs. The ladybug resumes his circuitous path.

      The pearl necklace on top of my untouched chemistry book introduces itself to me from the corner of my eye. I have not worn it since I bought it. Lindsey was right – it doesn’t match any of my outfits. If I still talked to her I would probably ask to borrow her polka dot dress.

      It is just a normal day today. No special plans or outings tonight. Go to chemistry, go to the programming study session, come back to finish biology. If I work hard, I will pass. I could even pass programming.

      I sit up, remembering to smash the ladybug between my fingers because we do not like infestations in our dorm rooms.