I hate her.  I fucking hate her so much I want to rip her goddamn head off her shoulders.  She thinks she's special, that she's a fucking 'unique snowflake'.  She thinks the world is hers for the taking, anything she desires is in the palm of her grasp.
    And in a way, it is.
    And I hate her for it.  She may complain about that stupid asshole who is always hanging on her, slobbering like a retarded dog and sending challenging glares my way.  But the truth is, if she decided tomorrow that she never wanted to see his scarred face again, she wouldn't and that would be the end of it.
    I guess the truth is that I'm envious in a way.  I can get what I want no matter what I do, and we both go about getting what we want in nearly identical fashion.  We demand things from others.  But if she doesn't get it right then she screams and bitches and if all else fail, she whines.  That high-pitched, nerve-grating, wheedling it makes me crazy.  I want to stick skewers into my eardrums so I don't have to hear the shit anymore.
    And the worst part is, it works EVERY time.  Not for me of course.  But she always gets what she wants.  And for that, I hate her.
    But believe me that's not the only reason.  Not only is she firmly convinced that she deserves to have whatever she wants, she thinks she's a genius (which technically she is regarding math and technology) and then she does things that make me think she has Down syndrome.
Think about it, this girl can make a computer out of a can opener, but she has no clue that her 'friends' think she's a dominating bitch.  And before you start with that bullshit, oh they're Bulma's friends bla bla bla, let me tell you something.  I was grabbing as much food as possible at her last "party" and after she had just verbally kicked the shit out of Yamcha-cha for being late she went inside to get some food or something and - get this - the bald monk was the first one to start:
    "Yamcha." He said, "How can you stand that?  She's so mean to you."  And of course Yamcha-cha whines about how he loves her and all this other crap when it's obvious that he's just scared shitless of her.
    "Lunch is never like that, even when she's blonde." Tien added with a frown.
    "So what do you want me to do?  I'm not going to break up with her, so don't even suggest it!" Yamcha snapped.  And I guess I had to give him credit for that.  I figured he would immediately fold when his friends started in, but no such luck.  If there's nothing else, the arguments those two have are quite amusing, although they would be much more so if he ever got the balls to fight back.
    "Yamcha we know you care about her, but come on." This from Kakarotto of all people.  When his bitch wife says: "Jump!" he says: "How high?" what nerve.  "You let her walk all over you, I know you care but I also know Bulma and she likes to take advantage of any situation she can.  Not in a bad way usually-" he added, seeing Yamcha's countenance darken.  "But she does."  Interesting..
    "Well that may be, but if that's the way it has to be then fine, I love her." Loyal to a fault, he must really be whipped on her shit.
    And then she came back out as if nothing were amiss, and of course, to her, there wasn't a thing wrong.  She couldn't have heard them from in there.  And no one gave a shit if I listened or not.
She slapped down a huge tray of food and I edged over towards it and began to refill my plate as an uncomfortable silence descended.  And somehow she sensed their discomfort and immediately brought it to a head.
    "What's wrong with you guys?  Not enough food?  Do I have to invite strippers for you guys to react?" she snapped.  Ha.  She is amusing at times, I'll give her that.
    "No." Yamcha mumbled.
    "Yeah, that's right, you would probably go home with one of them." She said to Yamcha and even my eyes bugged a little at that.  Where the hell did that come from?
    "Bulma, quit being such a bitch, Yamcha doesn't cheat on you." Krillin said.
Wow.  What balls.  I didn't know the pristine monk had a sharp tongue.  Very interesting.
    Bulma was not amused though, her eyes narrowed to hateful little slits and she advanced on the monk who cowered back in his chair, a weak grin trying to surface.
    "What the fuck do you know?" She hissed.  "I see his eyes wander so much it's amazing they don't fall out of his head!" she veritably roared.  Krillin was probably pissing in his pants.
    "That's not true!" Yamcha-cha yelled at last.  I found a chair and made myself comfortable.  I knew I was in for some entertainment.  "If anyone is cheating it's YOU!" he cried, exasperated.  "You let HIM move in with you." he yelled pointing at me!  What the-?! How am I getting dragged into this?  I just wanted some cheap thrills and now everyone was staring at me.  "If I had a girl move in with me the shit would hit the fan!"  she opened her mouth to argue and faltered, I could see triumph sparking in Yamcha's eyes.
    "You know why he's here." She hissed as though it was something to be hidden from me.  I knew what she didn't want to say, they thought I would go on a rampage if I didn't have a home.  Like I was so retarded that I couldn't take care of myself.  I rolled my eyes in disgust.
    "Yeah, you know." I said to Yamcha, wiggling my eyebrow suggestively.  His eyes bulged and everyone else's eyes swiveled to Bulma who, I knew, hated my guts right then.  I could almost feel it, like a wave of heat directed at me.
    "Fuck you, Vegeta." she hissed, and I grinned before I could stop myself.
    "In front of all of them?  I didn't know you were such a pig."  An almost hysterical laughter burst from my lips when she threw herself at me with an outraged scream. But before she could even land a pathetic blow, Yamcha grabbed her and pulled her back.  He didn't even look at me, everyone was on their feet, their chi's raising.
    "Fuck you Vegeta." Bulma snarled repeatedly, I smiled and sat back down and began to eat and Kakarotto and his cronies all relaxed a bit.  I had no intentions of fighting, I just wanted to watch this and these fools were so fucking dumb, walking on eggshells around me.  Like the stupid woman hitting me is going to make me mad.  It makes me laugh.
    "Look, Bulma," Yamcha began quietly, trying to bring sanity into her rage-clouded mind.  I couldn't help but grin despite the evil looks shooting in my direction.  But I love to instigate, it's so fun.  "You know I'm right, and how could you think I cheat on you.  I may look, but so do you and don't say that you don't.  I would never do that to you, I love you."  I gagged and received several evil glares.
    "I love you too, Yamcha." she said and I vomited on myself.  Just kidding.  I did get up and leave though, since there was nothing more to interest me.

    But you get the point anyway, right?  She's a dumb ass.  She thinks the world revolves around her and NO ONE could ever dislike her.  I mean she only walks around saying how beautiful she is all the time.  Like we don't have eyes.  Everyone knows she's good looking, but she might as well just wear I sign on her back that say's 'I'm hot'.  At least then I wouldn't have to hear her brag about it all the time.
    It drives me nuts.
    And of course, that's not her only amazing attribute.  She IS a genius after all.  And she had no problem flaunting that.
    Now before I bitch about this, let me clarify: Yeah, I know I used to say I was the strongest (note: USED to) and I know that stupid Kakarotto is stronger.   BUT, one day I WILL be stronger than him so before you say: "Jesus, Vegeta, shut the hell up, she may brag but so do you." To that I say: Bull shit.  If you compare all the times I've done that compared to how many times she had she would beat me a hundred times over.  So just get that stupid idea out of you head.
    Ok, so she's a genius, I'm not saying she isn't when it comes to mechanics.  She can take apart anything and rebuild it nearly ten times better in minutes.  I'll give her that, no problem.  But she knows very few people are capable of doing what she does.  I don't know anyone else who can figure out insane mathematical equations in their head, I can barely multiply.  Math is one of my MAJOR weaknesses, but I don't need it, so I don't care.  Or at least I didn't, until I met Bulma.
    It was so great, I love being made to feel like a total incompetent in front of Kakarotto and his dumb friends.  And she helped me out with that.  The one day I was watching a kick-ass anime in the living room - I would have watched it in my room to avoid everyone but I have no TV in there - so anyway, she was sitting at the kitchen table with Yamcha-cha, Kakarotto, Krillin, and the fucking android.  Everyone was drinking except 18.  And out of fucking nowhere I hear:
    "Vegeta, what's 872 times 43?"  How the hell was I supposed to know?  I can't figure math out in my head, and it makes me feel like a stupid idiot every time I try.
    "You have a calculator, find out yourself." I said.
    "You don't know."
    "That's right." And she laughed.  She must have been drunk.  I wanted to ask Kakarotto and make him feel like an ass too, the moron didn't even go to school at all.  I at least could figure it out if I could write it down.  He probably didn't even know how to add.  Shit, he probably doesn't even know how to write!  But then I would have to talk to him and at that time, I preferred to remain anti-social.
    "Bulma." I said, startling her, I never call her by her name, only when I'm serious or really pissed.  "You could figured it out too if you weren't an alcoholic."  Her eyes bugged at my blatant lie.  But for some reason it drew the other's gazes away from me to her.  She wasn't an alcoholic, she only drank maybe once a month, but when she did she always drank until she was completely intoxicated to the point that she couldn't walk a straight line.
    "Fuck that!" she cried.  "I'm not a lush!  Your just too stupid to figure it out."
    "I could figure it out, but why should I?  I have no interest in doing so and I'm trying to watch this anyway.  I'm not about to stroke your fucking ego." I snapped.  And that shut her up but good.  She drained the rest of her beer, muttering something about hating me.
    Well the feeling is mutual, bitch.

    All I ask is for her to keep the gravity room running.  She doesn't cook for me, her mother does.  Gods, she would probably cut my balls off while I was sleeping if I told her to cook.  It's not that she can't, she just won't.
    And if, god forbid the GR breaks down, it's like pulling teeth to get her to fix it.  She bitches and moans and drags her ass the whole time, when she could just shut the hell up and do it and be done in the whole five to ten minutes it usually takes her to fix it.
    But no, she is good though.  She's so good at pouring guilt upon people.  I don't let it affect me, don't get me wrong, I mean it pisses me off.  But if she wants me to feel bad for making her work- HA! That will NEVER happen.
    Besides, Yamcha-cha was right.  SHE invited me to stay here and use the GR.

    Whatever.  She hates me.  I hate her.  That's the whole point of this really.  Does it bother me?  If it didn't I guess I wouldn't be complaining..  But it shouldn't bother me.  She's just a human.  A good-looking one, but human none-the-less.
    Besides, I haven't exactly been nice to her either.  Oh shit, here she comes, and surprisingly she doesn't look angry.
    I can change that.
 

The end
 

I hope everyone enjoyed this little snippet.  I did.  I love writing Vegeta's POV. - Kichi June 12, 2003