DISCLAIMER: Dragonball Z belongs to Akira Toriyama
A/N: this is
the sequel to "Oh, Me" will most likely be NC-17
She was pregnant again. And almost due. She smelled
different, was bitchier than usual, and cried at the drop of a
hat.
She waddled instead of walked, her belly looked like it had three brats
inside instead of one, and she constantly attacked him verbally for her
current state.
And he hated it. It took two to make a brat.
Unfortunately.
He wanted to do what he'd done when she told him she was pregnant the
first
time.
Run.
He wanted to go off to space or a deserted island
for nine months.
But he knew he couldn't do it now. The pathetic reality was, he'd
miss her too much to stay away that long.
How many months had it been since he'd realized he
truly needed her?
And now she was about to give birth to their second child
together.
He knew he wasn't going anywhere. So why was it that he couldn't
claim her properly in Saiyan tradition?
Human rituals meant nothing to him. And she'd
never said anything
about it. But sometimes he could see a yearning in her eyes that
told him she wanted more. And he wanted to do it! He wanted
to claim her as his mate. Hell, he wasn't even afraid to bond
with
her, unlikely as it was. She knew more about him than anyone ever
had, and she was strong enough to handle the whole truth about
him.
He knew she was. He really hope she was.
Was he afraid to let her see it though? He
tried to convince
himself that he wasn't as he lay in bed next to her at four in the
morning.
He couldn't sleep. She had two chi's and it was driving him
crazy.
He was glad he'd been gone while she was pregnant with Trunks.
There were a lot of things in his mind that he
really didn't want anyone
to see. Ever. And the chance of them actually bonding was
slim.
But there was still a chance. Still a chance for her to see all
the
horrible things he'd done. And all the horrible things that had
been
done to him.
He shuddered violently. Don't think of it! He
commanded himself
sternly. It was the best way he coped now. He couldn't take
out his anger on weak humans, so he had to hold it in. He knew
that
he shouldn't, but training usually worked out most of his aggression.
What was holding him back? Did he really think
she'd refuse him?
No. It was the whole "bonding" issue. He already felt a
bond
with her. And if they truly mated that bond would be fully
formed.
Then she would know everything. What would she think of him
then?
She would hate him. She would be scared and disgusted and worst
of
all, she might even pity him. He couldn't handle that. He
didn't
want her to fear him, ever. He knew he'd done horrible things and
he really didn't want her to see it. Even worse, he didn't want
her
to know that he'd enjoyed it, missed it even sometimes. The old
days
with Nappa and Radditz. They had killed so many innocent and
guilty
souls alike. And if she realized that he'd never felt remorse for
his past actions she would despise him. The only reason he
regretted
all he'd done in the past was because he knew how she'd react to the
gruesome
truth.
And he'd willingly let her see every murder he'd
committed if it would
keep her from finding out his darkest secret. He'd lay every
other
part of his soul bare to her, even his weird quirks and silly
phobias.
He'd let her see all the random, stupid thoughts that ran through his
head
that surprised even himself. The thoughts that made him shake his
head and laugh at his own weirdness, even the sick, scary
thoughts.
Everything, anything except that one nasty, traumatizing secret.
But with the bond there were no barriers. She would know
everything
about him, and he would know everything about her. And he knew that to
claim her would destroy all barriers between them.
And the thought scared him more than anything.
What would he do if she rejected him? What
would he do?
He couldn't imagine his life without her now. How could he go on
each day knowing she hated him? He didn't think he could do
it.
All his strength would do nothing to save him.
And even if she could look past all the evil he'd
done and still care
enough to be with him, what would he do when she died? Because
unless
he was killed she would most certainly die before him. And when
one
of a bonded pair died, the other usually followed.
Living like that was too horrible to
contemplate. Even if he
was strong enough to survive that, he seriously doubted he'd want to
continue
living alone. It almost made him laugh. Before he'd come to live
with his blue-haired onna he'd been alone all the time and never had a
real problem with it. But now, now he needed her presence, her
affection
and her trust. He needed her.
He sighed, tossing in bed. She would be the
death of him.
He was certain. But he couldn't even muster slight annoyance
toward
her for it. All anger was focused on himself. He should
have
known this would happen and acted accordingly long ago. Now he
couldn't
do anything. He couldn't even think of leaving her. He
couldn't
do anything to hurt her. Seeing her cry made him feel guilty,
even
if he hadn't been the cause of her tears. It was crazy.
And what was even more insane, he felt this way
without a complete
bond. How would he feel with one, fully formed and intact?
He was over protective of her now, with a bond it would be ten times
worse.
And he would have to make an effort not to upset her, because he would
feel her sadness as if it was his own!
He'd lied to himself. He was afraid.
Terrified. He
wanted to claim her, but he knew he couldn't accept her rejection.
He sat up, angrily tugging his short, spiky
locks. Maybe training
would help.