TITLE: Moonlight 3
AUTHOR: Kichi
RATING: R
WARNINGS: swearing and violence
NOTES: drabble 39 “moonlight”
ARCHIVE:
www.geocities.com/kichisama666/index.html
SUMMARY:
WORDS:
Can’t you just wish
your tail back with the dragonballs? I think I am going to laugh. How
does she still not understand?
“I told you onna,
my tail is only part of it.” I can see rage suddenly in her gaze
and I am strangely glad. It is better to see in her eyes than
fear.
“When Goku finds
out he’ll kick your ass and you know it He was always stronger
than you ” she hisses, and I can’t help but grin viciously.
“This you see, is
also part of it.” I lean closer until I can whisper in her ear.
“He never would have won if that fat fuck hadn’t cut off my tail.
I had Kakarotto in my hands, I was crushing every bone in his
body. When you come out of a transformation your strength is cut
in half. Kakarotto would have died if that fat turd hadn’t
interfered, and if you actually had seen the fight you would have known
that. He did not fight again after that. I would have won.
And we wouldn’t even be having this conversation now because you and
everyone else on this fucking miserable shit-hole of a planet would be
dead. Kakarotto did not defeat me.” Suddenly her cheek
presses against mine and then her teeth clamp down on my ear. It
doesn’t hurt, I am more shocked than anything. “Onna. Let
me go.” I say softly, a smile tugging at my lips. “Don’t make me
bite your ear off.” I say as she bites harder. She suddenly
growls as I gently bite her earlobe. I really had no intention of
hurting her any more than necessary to scare her, I wanted to frighten
her and
make her comply because she wouldn’t
listen to reason. I do not want to kill her, either. She
amuses me. And I really don’t mind looking at her. And I rather
enjoy arguing with her.
She releases me
and her hands encircle my throat and begin to squeeze.
“You bastard, how
dare you do this to me ” she cries, her eyes shining with
moisture. I frown, unable to decipher this. “I can’t tell
you, so do whatever, and Goku will kick your ass later if you hurt me,
he will ” I can’t believe her I jerk backwards, breaking her grip.
“But why? Why do
you care what happens to him?” she wrings her hands and then her nails
dig into my forearms. I growl at her, her petty torments are
starting to arouse me.
“I won’t send
someone off to death I can’t It’s not right- I won’t
do it So do whatever it is your going to do Vegeta ” She glares
at me in defiance, and despite it all I want to smile. Kami if
only she were Saiyan, she would be perfect.
But now I am
stuck, and the sudden rage that is sparked is drowned in despair.
I have to make her understand
“You don’t get
it. Nothing has been right since then I can’t let anything
go until I do this Damn it onna, I need this ” I cry, ashamed to
hear a pleading note in my voice, but I will do anything before I hurt
the only person I have been able to speak to for over a year. And
my unwillingness to hurt her makes me realize something strange.
Somehow I have began to enjoy arguing with her, even worse, I think I
am starting to lust after this weakling. My reaction to her
pathetic attempts to hurt me are proof enough. The fact that she
has accepted me for who I am forces me to remember Nappa and
Radditz. After my planet was gone they accepted my temper and
bitterness and treated me with
respect, but only until I really pissed them off. Just like
this onna.
Before all this I
only spoke with them, mostly to order about and the like. Now I
do the same to her. And Kami help me, she does it all but not
without complaining to anyone within earshot, like Radditz; or telling
me to shut up and do it myself, like Nappa.
There is one huge
difference here- I can’t help but admire her for some reason and Nappa
and Radditz were in no way admirable. They were always my
servants, and try as I might, she will never be. She was not
raised to serve anyone.
And like them she
is the only one I can trust enough to even speak to.
“Well?” she snaps,
her eyes blazing with rage even as tears trail down her flushed
skin. “Are you gonna kill me now, or stare at me all night?”
“Can I stare at
you all night?” I ask without thinking. The comment brings a
blush to her cheeks and just like that, her tears evaporate.
“Baka onna, you wouldn’t listen to reason, I hoped intimidation might
work, and even the complete truth does nothing. Would a staring
contest really be much different? I’m sure the result would be the
same. Your right, no matter what, I’ll never win.”
she frowns and something I can’t
identify alters her expression.
“I’m sorry Vegeta,
but I can’t help you.”
“I know that,
onna.” I allow a minute amount of ki collect in my hand and I see
fear mar her delicate features again, and suddenly I am angry with
myself. It was weakness that drove me to this. And now the
onna fears me. As I rose from bed earlier it had been my intent:
to scare her. I cannot say I am pleased with this result.
“Calm down, I’m not going to hurt you again.” I say. She glances
at me suspiciously and I repress a sigh. I have given her plenty
to mistrust at the moment.
I touch her neck
where I applied pressure before. The ki is merely warm and eases
the muscles that I might have injured. Her eyelids droop and
slide shut. At once she looks exquisite and sudden longing spikes my
empty heart. After everything is tender in all the right places I
extinguish my ki and her eyelids flutter open at the loss of the
tingling warmth.
Her gaze is dark
with confusion as I release her and step back. I turn to leave
but feel her slight hand grip my elbow.
“You know, I was
just starting to like you.” she says, and I see anger directed at
me. I am surprised it took so long to resurface.
“And now you do
not again? Good. I do not want you to like me.” I want to you to want
me as badly as I want you right now. The thought is definitely a bizarre
one and I frown. I just need to get laid, that’s all. But
it is true that I do not wish for her friendship. She on the
other hand is outraged by the perceived slight and lashes out at me
with an open palm. I dodge easily and her hand flies past my
face.
“Kisama ” she
cries, tears threatening to be released again. I hold back a
grimace as I oddly feel regret for her tears. Anger threatens to
rise. When has anything I’ve ever done made me feel guilt?
I meant for this to happen Why does it bother me now?
“I had to
try. I will find him without you. It will just be that much
more difficult. And I will be in this state longer.”
“What do you mean?
What state?” she snaps, her voice unsteady.
“Rage.
Resentment. Hatred. All of this. I- I want it to... to go
away It has it’s uses to a point but this is too much! I can
barely think of anything else! ”
“And you think
killing Yajirobe and Goku will make it go away?” she snaps, her gaze
incredulous.
“No, but it will
be better.” I admit.
“You just have to
get over it Let it go Why do you have to dwell on things
that upset you all the time? The only one who cares is you You do
it to yourself ” she yelled, waving her arms in exasperation.
She is wrong, of
course. In this I cannot change, my pride will not be rent to
pieces by these fools.
“I am only doing
what is necessary, onna. You cannot understand so you try to
dismiss it as unimportant, like anything that displeases you. I
admit I had no real intention of killing you, even though your
insolence often warrants physical abuse. I have tried to put up
with you, because you are the only one on this pathetic planet I can
tolerate for more than ten minutes. But you have to understand, I
have to do this. I have to.”
I don’t know why
he wants me to understand so badly. Maybe it’s because I’m “the
only one he can tolerate for more than ten minutes”. That
statement in itself is a damn miracle, and I’m still kinda stunned that
he admitted it. But why does he have this look of desperation on
his face? He said he would find Yajirobe without me. That
he doesn’t need me. So why is he trying to convince me that he is
right, and he has the right to do this?
“I don’t have to
understand anything.” I say as reason finally hits. “You want me
to agree with you and help you. Who are you trying to fool?”
Oddly, his features relax and a slight smile graces his lips. I
am stunned by the effect those minute changes have on his
appearance. I have never seen him look like this, and I am
startled to find myself enjoying it a little too much.
“You are
wrong. I wouldn’t bother to lie. I just-“ he frowns and his gaze
is suddenly anywhere but on me. His tanned skin flushes slightly,
and I hold my breath, wondering why at the same time. He
glares at me suddenly. “I apologize for choking you.” he blurts
in a rush. I knew I was staring when his stern facade crumbles
into confusion.
“You-“ I find
myself unable to say more. His frown grows sardonic.
“Don’t give me
that look. I hoped you might listen if you believed I was
serious. But then, I am often wrong in my assumptions concerning
you. And close your mouth already.” he sneers, masterfully regaining
his mean streak. My jaw snaps shut, and I want to shake him.
“Vegeta. You
don’t need this. What you need to do is just try and forget-“
”Damn it, onna ”
he snarls, suddenly livid. “I have! For the past twenty
years! But I can’t! Why the fuck would I want to remember
any of it..?” he trails off and steps back, eyes narrowed in suspicion,
and glancing toward the door as if he means to bolt. But I refuse
to let him. I grab his elbow and try to ignore the sudden stab of
pain in my heart when he flinches away as if he’s
expecting me to strike him.
Doesn’t he know I could never really hurt him, even if I wanted
to? I can yell until I’m blue in the face, but I’ve never hit
anyone. I tried to choke him and bite his ear, but I know damn
well I didn’t hurt him at all.
“I’m sorry.” I
begin and he suddenly jerks from my grasp.
“Of course you
are-“
”Don’t be such a
dick, I accepted your apology, the least you can do is fucking listen
to mine ” I snap, angered by his sudden bitterness towards me. He
turns and faces me, arm folded, eyes wide and staring
expectantly. I shake my head in annoyance.
“I can’t help
you. Your pride is demanding this. And if you do kill the
both of them it will not be better. All your problems will be
there as they have always been while you’ve been ignoring them.
Out of all the people I know it always seemed as if you’d be the last
to run away like this-“
”I am not ” he
cries, indignant.
“You are.” I say
softly. “If you had never come to Earth, if none of this ever
happened, would you be happy then?” His brow furrows and his gaze
turns inward. I am relieved he is listening and not storming off
in a rage. So I decide to drive my point home while I have a
chance. “The thought of killing them has become a
distraction. It has taken your mind off of nearly everything
else. And if you do kill them, what will you be left with then?
Will you really be happy? Will that make everything
alright?” His features contort in sudden agony, and I am stunned
to see it, but it only confirms my suspicion. Killing Goku and
Yajirobe will only be a temporary solution. There is something
deeper here.
He shakes his head
in negation and I am relieved to know I am right, but worried
regardless, because now I have to try and figure out what the real
problem is. And I’m suddenly scared. Do I dare? Do I
dare try and get the Saiyan no Ouji to spill it?
I remember the
first day he came to stay here. And Gohan’s warning, quickly
whispered in my ear.
‘Frieza murdered
him, Bulma. Right in front of us. He beat him to death...
Will he be alright.. Do you think? Please be careful.. Don’t even
mention that monster in front of him... At least I wouldn’t.’
I am scared.
But that has to be the key. It has to weigh on his mind. I
grasp his hand in mine and
again he recoils, but I don’t let go, even though his alarmed
expression worries me. I
motion for him to sit and he does after a long moment of
consideration. He looks more nervous than I’ve ever seen him.
“Whenever
something bothers me, I tell someone about it.” his eyes widen and he looks ready to bolt, and I wonder why he
is still here listening to me. I lean back against the wall and tug his elbow until he is shoulder to
shoulder with me. I wrap my arms around him and rest my head on his shoulder and feel him
tense. “It always makes me feel better. Even if they don’t know what to do to help. Just
telling someone makes it bearable.” I risk a glance at him and
see his head shaking rapidly
from left to right. “Vegeta, don’t you trust me? Even a
little? I won’t tell anyone
anything you say, I swear on my life.” I proclaim.
“It’s not that.”
he manages in a tight whisper, his eyes betraying his inner
turmoil. “I just.. Can’t..”
he shakes his head again rapidly. His eyes are wide and haunted
and I squeeze his arm comfortingly.
“I wouldn’t ask if
I didn’t think it would help. Your enough like us that I think it
would.. “ his expression
faltered and again I saw that heart-rending flash of pain. “Gohan
told me what happened on
Namek-“ I felt his whole body jerk and then tremble violently for a
moment. He closed his
eyes, swallowed hard, and tried to gently disentangle himself.
“No Vegeta please, it’s the
only way I can help you ” I cried, throwing myself at him and clinging
tighter, my arms wrapped
around his torso, pinning his arms to
his sides. He easily broke my grip, and slid his hands under my elbows to pull my arms away from his
waist. “No!” I cried, frantic. Me and my stupid
mouth! Why did I
bring it up?
He had to get out
of the room. He had to. He had to get away from her before
he lost what fragile control
he had left. He was mere seconds away from throwing a screaming
fit, killing someone, or..
Screaming. Since he would not kill Bulma, he had but one choice:
Escape.
“Let me go, onna ”
he gasped as she wrapped her legs around his. He was about to slide off the mattress.
“No damn it!
Listen to me! You have to stop running from this! ” she
pleaded. “Let me help
you!”
“I don’t need
anything from you! ” he cried, and gripped her arm. The gasp of
pain that wrenched from her
throat halted him in his tracks. He released her instantly, and
she again clutched him.
“Please,
Vegeta! Don’t go!” He reached down and brushed her arm
where he’d grabbed her
earlier and saw her flinch.
“If I promise not
to kill that fat fuck will you let me go? I can’t break your grip
without hurting you.” he
said, his eyes pleading with her.
“No.” she
glared. “No! You aren’t going to because you know it won’t
help at all!” He squirmed
uncomfortably and her glare softened. “Why won’t you let me help?”
“I can’t.
Let me go.” he said softly.
“No, Vegeta.
This has to end.”
“I told you, let
me go and I won’t go after him.”
“For how long?
Until your out of my room?”
“How fitting, you
wish me to ‘trust you’ and you cannot even think of doing the
same. How typical of
you.”
“Your right,” she
said, not taking the bait. “I apologize. Leave then. Go
ahead, but if I find out
anything has happened to him, I won’t even look at you ever again, and
you can forget about having a
gravity room.” he nodded briefly and she slowly released him. He
took a step back and turned
on his heel and headed to the door.
“Vegeta.” she
sighed, and he stopped.
“Yes, onna?” he
said, not bothering to turn.
“I’m sorry I
couldn’t help.” he sighed and shook his head.
“I told you onna,
I don’t need your help, at least not the kind your willing to
give.” She sighed and
nodded as he walked out the door.
He headed outside
to calm his racing heart. She had almost had him there. He
had been moments away from
telling her everything, even though the very idea scared the shit out
of him. Something about
her... there was something about her that made him want to do whatever she asked. She was dangerous.
The moonlight
brought everything into stark contrast and he glared up at it with a grimace.
“One day, I’ll
find him. One day I’ll kill him, and Kakarotto, and everything
will be alright. She is
wrong.” he said, and he almost believed it.
The end
Back