TITLE: Oh Baby! AUTHOR: Kichi RATING: R for language WARNINGS: This has nothing to do with
babies, but rather a DBZ character misperceived as one. NOTES: challenge 25 on
[email protected] ARCHIVE:
www.geocities.com/kichisama666/drabble.html SUMMARY: Vegeta gets a shock. WORDS: 1,182 (yep I really went over
this time!) "What the
fuck is that?" Vegeta snapped, his expression the perfect picture of disgust. "What?"
Bulma asked looking around in confusion. "That." He
snapped, grabbing her chin and guiding her head to match his view. "I know this
isn't the first time you've seen them." She sighed in exasperation as her eyes landed on
Chao-Tzu in Tien's arms. The little former Emperor looked like a little child
sitting on his father's arm, tiny arms looped around Tien's neck. This was
really the last time she forced Vegeta to accompany her to one of Master
Roshi's barbeques. She would just have to keep the dirty lecher from groping
her. But it was SO much easier with Vegeta their. If she stayed close to
him, Roshi wouldn't try a thing. Not after the first time. "Yes I
know. But that doesn't mean I know what it is. Is it his
child?" Bulma began to laugh much to Vegeta's
annoyance. "No, he's..
well…" she stopped a moment, studying Chao-Tzu from afar. "Shit. I don't know. He's
not a baby though. He can talk and fight too, don't you remember?" "I remember
him blowing up." Vegeta said, his brow furrowing. Suddenly Chao-Tzu met their eyes and stared
unblinkingly while Tien continued to chat it up with Yamcha. Vegeta let out a
growl that made her start in fear. That animalistic snarl still scared her.
Chao-Tzu let
out a tiny squeak of fear and huddled closer to Tien. Tien felt his little companion quiver in
fear and turned to see Vegeta glaring murderously at them. Bulma held
the Saiyan's elbow and grinned, her face pink with embarrassment as she tried to
wave at them as if nothing was amiss. "Shut up
Vegeta." Tien heard her hiss. Tien winced, sure that the Saiyan was about to fly into a rage at
Bulma's tactless command. "It's
staring at me, and hasn't blinked the whole damn time!" he cried instead. "It's gross! Let me
kill it!" Tien gasped as he realized the Saiyan was talking about Chao-Tzu and tensed,
ready to spring into action. The others on Roshi's island had fallen silent, and
were each surveying the scene. Bulma's face
went from pink to red. "Vegeta.
Shut the hell up. He's not doing anything." "Exactly!
How can you not blink?" Chao-Tzu began to blink his eyes rapidly. "Eew! Eew! It's gross!
Let me kill the damn thing I can't take it!" Vegeta gasped his eyes wide. "No,
goddamnit! Just shut your damn mouth already! What the hell is wrong with you? You've seen him
before!" Bulma snarled in his ear. Tien wasn't
sure how to react. What the hell was the arrogant Saiyan's problem? What was poor Chao-Tzu
doing? Did it really bother him that much that the little fighter didn't blink
every five or six seconds? And what was so gross about him? "Tien.
What should we do? He's scaring me." Chao-Tzu whispered. "I don't
know. Don't worry, if he tries anything, I'll stop him." Tien
said, sounding a lot more confident than he
felt.
"You need to
calm the fuck down. Your not going to do anything!" "What the
hell do you mean? As if you could stop me!" "Just
because he's creepy doesn't give you the right to kill him!" "Oh really?
It's funny you'd say that because that was your explanation for killing all the bugs in the house." "Shut up
that is totally not the same asshole." "Bitch." "Dick head." "Skank." "Ass Pirate!" "Cum
dumpster!" "Fuck you." "I'll fuck
you. You want me to? Right now in front of your friends?" he said as he advanced on her with an evil
grin. "Stop
this. You know that isn't going to happen, and I'm serious,
Vegeta. Leave Chao-Tzu alone." He
growled and she crossed her arms over her chest, her features hardening in defiance. "Fine then!
I'm leaving. I hate creepy things staring at me!" "Yes I know,
and so does Papa's cat!" "Well if you
knew then you shouldn't have brought me to this dumb island with the weird mime baby!" Bulma
rolled her eyes. "If anyone
is a baby, you are!"
Chao-Tzu
frowned. The Saiyan thought he was a child? Tien should
I say something? Chao-Tzu sent the thought to his partner. I
don't know.. Tien responded silently. Just then Goku and Krillin
came up beside them. "Don't
worry, we won't let him do anything." Goku said with a smile. Tien and Chao-Tzu both visibly relaxed and
Chao-Tzu made his decision. "I'm not a
baby you moron! I'm just vertically challenged!" he shouted. Vegeta froze, his mouth open to reply
and his eyes then head turned slowly towards the tiny
antagonist. His expression was of horrified dismay, which immediately made Goku and Krillin
giggle. His arm began to rise, his palm glowing and Bulma shrieked, jumping
on him and trying to pull his arm down. "Oops!"
Chao-Tzu and Tien both gasped. Goku phased out and reappeared in front of the Saiyan
Prince. "You guys
better jet while Goku distracts him!" Krillin said. They nodded
in unison and made good their escape.
"Vegeta! Stop it!" Bulma cried. Vegeta watched the odd pair
escape with the same expression of shock on his
face. "It called
me a moron." He said, shock apparent in his soft voice. "That
doesn't give you the right to kill him!" she bellowed in his ear. "Come on,
Vegeta. Don't get mad, he was just scared." Goku said as he appeared. Vegeta's eyes finally
left the retreating pair and focused on Goku. "What is
it?" he said slowly, as if waking from a dream. Goku frowned.
"Come on,
just drop it. He's a good little guy." The younger Saiyan sighed. "Vegeta,
let's just go home!" Bulma said, still tugging his arm. "Why can't I
kill it?" he said, still in that soft, stunned voice. "Vegeta, I'm
sorry, but you can't he's our friend." Goku said, his confusion apparent. "Yes, you
can't kill him." Bulma said, hoping they were finally wearing down his resolve. "But he's
gross and weird-" "Enough
already!" Bulma snapped, "Kami you are the one being weird." "At least I
don't look like a freakish mime from hell!" Vegeta snapped, his eyes finally alight with something
other than bewildered revulsion. Bulma and Goku shook their heads
slowly. Bulma tugged his arm again, and this time he finally allowed her
to lead him away. "Let's just
go home, I'll make you something to eat, then we can fool around-" she whispered in his ear. "Fine let's
go- the sooner we do the sooner I can train-" "It's too
late for that, I think you need some sleep-" "Like hell I
do!" he snapped in her ear as he picked her up and took off. "I'm going
to have nightmares thinking about that fucking little freak!" Bulma sighed and shook her head.
"Vegeta you
amaze me sometimes." She said. "You amaze
me too, I don't know how you could even look at the thing without vomiting all over yourself!"
he snapped. Bulma sighed again, it was going to be a long night. Ok, let me be the first to admit that
I failed this challenge! I tried, I really did, but it just didn't work
out. I hope this little ficlet at least amuses somebody, or else I am a complete and utter
failure as a writer! –Kichi 9-19-2004 Back Home
