Title:  I Grieve
Author:  Khylaren	
Contact: Khylaren@yahoo.com
Series: VOY
Rating: [PG13]
Codes: K/7

Summary: This takes place right after the episode "Drone".  Seven of Nine has just lost "One" and is experiencing grief for the first time.  Harry Kim is there to offer comfort.  Will it lead to something else?

Disclaimer:  The characters belong to Paramount.  The story line is mine.  No infringement is intended. 

~ * ~

So hard to move on
Still loving what's gone
They say life carries on
Carries on and on...
	-Peter Gabriel, "I Grieve", City of Angels soundtrack

Seven of Nine, tertiary adjunct of Unimatrix 01 entered Cargo Bay Two at a slow walk.  Her throat felt like she had swallowed something too large for it.  Her chest was so tight she could barely breathe.  If she hadn't just left sickbay and the presence of the doctor she would be concerned that she was not functioning properly.  She hadn't quite figured out what was wrong with her organic eye, but it kept tearing up, causing her to wipe the watery residue off her cheek repeatedly.  If it didn't clear up soon she would return to sickbay for an examination.  

In the back of her mind, underneath all the Borg technology and logic, a tiny voice told her that all these symptoms were probably due to having just lost someone very important to her.  

Seven wasn't sure if she believed that or not.  

She walked past the alcove where she and One regenerated and stopped.  Logic made her step up to One's alcove and shut it down; it was no longer necessary for it to be functioning and using up Voyager's precious energy.  The green light in the alcove flickered and went black as the power to the alcove was terminated. 

Seven stepped back down and her eyes widened as she caught sight of her reflection in the terminal where just days before she had been practicing her smile.  A strangled sob escaped her throat, startling her greatly. Both hands flew to her mouth, which twisted into a painful grimace.  Her organic eye watered and her reflection doubled.  Unable to tolerate any reminder of the Borg, she fled cargo bay two, heading to the only other place on the ship where she felt at home, but where there were no reminders of her heritage.  

Astrometrics was empty at this hour, for which she was grateful.  The giant central screen showed Voyager's current course, plodding steadily towards the Alpha Quadrant.  There were no changes in course, no pause in remembrance for a crewmember lost, even if he did save their ship from destruction.  Something welled up inside her, filling her heart with a pain unknown before.  Nothing the Borg had ever done to her could compare to this empty ache inside her.  

She crumpled to the floor, head to her knees, unable to fully express her grief.  She didn't hear the door to Astrometrics open and close, nor hear the approach of footsteps. She was unaware that she was no longer alone until a warm and comforting hand touched her shoulder.  Wiping hastily at her face, horrified that anyone would find her in this state, she finally looked up, expecting to see Captain Janeway.  She was surprised to see Ensign Harry Kim squatting down in front of her, his dark eyes concerned.  His hand moved from her shoulder when she made eye contact.

"E-Ensign."  She attempted to put some of her usual cool aloofness into the word.  The fact that her organic eye continued to leak water down her cheek didn't escape her, but she chose to ignore it.  

Harry did not.  He touched the tears and wiped them from her cheek.  

"What are you doing here?  You're not on duty for approximately 13 more hours."  She tried to ignore the tremble in her voice as well, unable to meet Harry's eyes.  Her throat constricted painfully, her breath hitching.  

"A friend needed me here,” he said quietly.  

"H-how did you know where to find me?" Her voice sounded strange to her ears, oddly choked, as if her throat were too tight to let the words escape.  She knew by now that there was something wrong with her, but she didn’t want to go back to Sickbay.  One was there, still.  His body being taken apart carefully so that the doctor's mobile emitter could be salvaged along with any other useful Borg technology.  Just the thought of One being callously taken apart brought a new wrenching pain to her and she doubled in half again, arms wrapped tightly around her knees.  "What is wrong with me?" she whispered hoarsely.

She felt Harry's arms around her shoulders, felt him pull her into his embrace and lean her head against his chest.  He held her gently.  "Nothing's wrong with you, Seven.  You're grieving.  It's a natural state for anyone who has lost someone they care about."

She gave up wiping the tears that now flowed so freely down her cheek.  His arms felt comforting around her and she could hear the steady beating of his heart along with his respiration.  "Is it?"  Her breath hitched and she swallowed painfully. "Will it ever stop?"

Harry rested his chin atop her head and continued to hold her, his arms loosened a little, now that he knew she wasn't going to bolt from his embrace.  He'd taken a chance in this close contact.  Seven wasn't known for tolerating any invasion of her personal space uninvited.  "Yes, Seven,” he answered quietly. "In time, it won’t be so bad.  You'll always miss One.  You'll think about him and be sad that he is gone, but you'll be able to go on living."  Harry could feel her accepting that, analyzing that in her logical manner. He knew that eventually she would see the truth in his words.  

Silently she wept, letting the strange new emotions wash over her and through her, cleansing her of her grief, easing the pain.  It shook her to her bones and stripped her of all barriers.  Through it all, she could hear Harry murmuring softly, nonsensical comforting sounds that somehow soothed her wounded heart. He stroked her hair, pulling the pins out of it to let it tumble loose about her shoulders. Seven sighed once, deeply, and settled against him, closing her eyes.  She listened to his heart beating steadily beneath her ear, felt the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.  

"Strange."  Her voice broke the silence.

Harry's mouth quirked.  "What's strange?"  He continued to softly stroke her hair, enjoying the feel of it beneath his fingers.  He reveled in the fact that she was letting him be this close to her.  For two years he had watched her, wanting to be near her, too insecure to handle her straightforward attitude towards relationships.  The fact that she was relatively new to her own humanity had also been a barrier to cross. He was beyond happy that he was the one who was here, now, to offer her the comfort she needed. He barely dared to hope that this could be the beginning of a true friendship between them.  He hoped for more than just friendship, but he would be content with that if it was all she could offer him.  Just to be near her was enough.  To be someone who mattered to her.  

"I am exhausted," she murmured, answering his question.  "I feel as though I have gone without regeneration for days."  Her eyelids felt extremely heavy to her, so she kept them closed against the world.

Harry smiled, feeling her relax completely in his arms.  "It’s not strange," he said softly in her ear.  "Strong emotions can wear you out."

"That is...inefficient," Seven said faintly.  He could tell she was almost asleep.  He smiled gently down at the top of her head, willing her to let go and sleep in his arms.  He could think of nothing that would make him happier at the moment.  

"Humans are masters of inefficiency, then," he whispered, smiling faintly.  "Because emotions are some of the best things that make us human."

"Mmmm.."

He waited a minute.  

"Seven?" he whispered.

"Mmm?"

"Do you want to go to your alcove and regenerate now?"  He didn't want her to of course, but he had to ask.

Her soft snore was the only answer he received.

Harry's smile could have lit up the Delta Quadrant.

~ * ~

Her organic eye felt like it had sand in it, and was puffy from her tears. It took a moment to for her to orient herself as she was unused to waking anywhere else but her alcove and for a moment she couldn't remember why she was in Astrometrics.  The warm body beneath her brought memory rushing back and for a moment, she was gripped anew with overwhelming grief.  After several  moments, she was able to regain her calm.  Her normal cool reserve returned and she sat up, muscles protesting from being in an unnatural position for what had likely been several hours.  She turned to look at her sleeping partner, whatever she had been about to say dying on her lips.  Her eyes widened and unknowingly, she smiled.

Harry was asleep, leaning against the main console of Astrometrics.  His arms had relaxed their hold on her and lay limply at his sides, his fingers curled slightly inwards toward his palms.  His mouth was closed, relaxed.  Her gaze was drawn there, fascinated by the shape of his lips.  She had never before been able to observe Harry this closely before.  

She found herself enjoying discovering the small details of his features; the way his eyes tilted at the corners; how full and soft looking his lips were; how dark his hair was, shiny as a raven's wing, laying slightly mussed across his brow; the warm, café-au-lait complexion of his skin, so smoothh without the usual five o'clock shadow that many human males had.  She had raised her hand to touch his cheek, to see if it was as smooth as it looked, when she realized that Harry's eyes were open and he was watching her.
 
"Ensign," she managed, dropping her hand abruptly to her side.  A faint flush crept up her cheeks and she felt the warmth on her skin.  

Harry grinned.  Seven of Nine blushing was perhaps the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

Embarrassed further by yet another new emotion, Seven rose to her feet.  The need to flee the scene with her grace intact was foremost in her mind.

"Seven, wait!"  Harry got to his feet, wishing he had half the grace she did. He felt he must look so clumsy to her half the time.  He usually felt like such an oaf next to her cool aloof beauty.  "Ah…" He flailed for something intelligent to say, anything that would prolong the moment.

"Yes?"  She raised an eyebrow at him, waiting, wondering what it was he wished to say.

"Are you alright, now?"  Inwardly he groaned.  Smooth, Kim.  Real smooth.

"I am not permanently damaged by recent events."  She regained her calm as she spoke.  "It appears that you were right about grieving."

"I was? Oh, I was."  Harry felt his chances of ever being with this beautiful and terrifying woman shrinking with every word he uttered.  

Seven was quiet a moment, observing the inner turmoil Harry tried to hide behind his easy, boyish smile.  Something stirred within her, surprising her.  It seemed the day for new emotions.

"Thank you, Harry."  She turned abruptly on her heel and left, the doors of Astrometrics swooshing shut behind her.

It was definitely not lost on him that Seven had finally called him Harry.  Maybe, he thought with a faint, hopeful grin, he was getting somewhere with her after all.  

~ * ~

Seven's internal chronometer told her it was 0630, approximately 30 minutes before her shift started.  She felt strangely energized, even though she hadn't used her alcove for regeneration.  She could actually go several days without regeneration, although the EMH doctor got extremely upset with her when she pushed herself that hard. She exited from the turbo lift and walked down the corridor to the mess hall.  Neelix was there at his usual post, and he greeted her warmly.

"Good morning, Seven.  It is good to see you up and about."  He smiled cheerfully at her.  "The usual?"

"Ration L-21 will be sufficient."  She didn't understand why he attempted to "small talk" with her every morning, but filed it away under Talaxian personality quirks.  
She took her nutritional supplement and found an empty table, studying the padd she had brought with her as she ate. 

“Is this seat taken?”

The words spoken with familiar friendliness made Seven look up from her reading.

Captain Kathryn Janeway smiled down at her, her sharp eyes quickly assessing her crewmember's current mental state.  The doctor had reported that Seven had left sickbay in an agitated frame of mind.  The Captain had stopped in Cargo Bay Two to see how she was doing, and had found Seven missing.  A check with the computer had located Seven of Nine in Astrometrics. Worried, Janeway had gone there to make sure Seven was all right.  The sight of Seven sleeping peacefully in Harry Kim's arms had given her great pause.  The fact that said Ensign was asleep as well made her wonder just what had transpired between the two.  Janeway had immediately chided herself for even thinking along those lines. Harry was a gentleman and Seven an innocent.  Nothing untoward would have happened between them.  Harry had just been there to offer much needed comfort to a distraught young woman who had lost a dear friend.  

"How are you, Seven?"  Janeway sat down across from her, sipping her coffee from her stainless steel cup.

"I am…" Seven paused, for once at loss for a word.  She looked so dismayed that Janeway put her hand on her arm.

"It’s okay, Seven."  Her blue eyes darkened with sympathy.  She hadn't realized that Seven would be taking this so hard. They all tended to forget that underneath the mask of Borg efficiency beat the heart of a human being, a woman who was just now learning to come to grips with her own humanity.  Except for Harry, Janeway silently mused.  He evidently knew how Seven would be feeling.  

"Do you want to take the day off?  Take a personal day? I think we could manage for one day without you working in Astrometrics."  Janeway purposefully tried to make her tone light.

Seven shook her head.  "No, I am well.  Really."  Harry’s words came back to her, comforting her.  "I am adapting to my loss."  

Janeway released her arm and smiled reassuringly. "If you need to talk to someone, Commander Chakotay or myself would be happy to listen.  I know this is new for you, and difficult, but you're not alone.  Remember that."  She stood up, finishing her coffee in a single swallow.  "I'll see you at Staff Meeting."  She touched Seven's shoulder briefly, and then moved away.  Seven watched the captain walk across the mess hall, stopping here and there to have a word with this or that crewmember, before leaving for the bridge.  It was interesting, Seven thought, that while two weeks ago she might have come to the Captain or Commander Chakotay for counseling, now she felt a lot closer to another crewman.  She knew that if she really needed to talk to someone, she should talk to her friend, Ensign Kim.  Harry, she reminded herself. Friends call each other by their names, not by their rank. Suddenly, a thought crossed her mind and she tapped her combadge.  "Seven of Nine to the Doctor."

"Go ahead, Seven."  The EMH replied, sounding somewhat relieved to be hearing from her.  He was possibly the only other crewmember who knew exactly what One had meant to her. He knew how hard it was for her to see One die.  

"I was hoping that I could have an appointment with you after my duty shift. I wish to continue our social lessons."  Seven waited, she could almost hear his sudden intake of breath and it amused her.  It wasn't often that she surprised the EMH.  

"After your duty shift is fine.  I'll see you at 1600 hours then."  He sounded pleased.

She stood, taking her tray over to the recycler. It was time to begin her day.  

~ * ~

Harry exited the Turbo lift and stepped onto the bridge to take his place at Ops.  He tried to ignore Tuvok's raised eyebrow.  Vulcan's didn't show emotion, but Harry could tell that Tuvok was greatly displeased.  He was 10 minutes late for his duty shift and his hair was still damp from his shower.  He sighed as his fingers automatically danced over the controls at his station.  He would be hearing from Tuvok later, he just knew it, and being chewed out by a Vulcan was never an enjoyable experience.  He continued to run a Level Two diagnostic on the ships systems, his hands on autopilot, his mind on other things.  

"Earth to Harry."

Kim looked up from his work with a start.  

Tom Paris grinned at him, his blue eyes squinting impishly. "Where you been buddy?  I've been calling you for at least 5 minutes.  You coming to Staff meeting or not?"

Kim flushed, not meeting his friend's eyes as he finished up his diagnoses.  "I was thinking about something, I didn't hear you."

"Uh-huh.  What's her name?"  Tom couldn't resist the gibe.  Harry just looked so funny with his mouth opening and shutting like a fish out of water.  "Never mind."  He put his arm across Harry's shoulders.  "Captain's waiting.  But I want to hear about it after shift!"

Harry gulped and followed the rest of the senior staff into the conference room.  He took his usual spot and grabbed the padd that was sitting in front of his chair.  He didn't hear the Captain's opening remarks, as he was too busy trying not to fall out of his chair in shock.  He read the message on the padd again.
	
Harry,

Your presence is requested this evening at Sandrine's, 1900 hours.  Please comply.

		-Seven

He glanced across the table and met Seven's eyes.  She smiled faintly at him and then looked pointedly at the captain, wordlessly reminding him that they were at a meeting.  He tucked the padd away in his pocket and tried to pay attention to what Captain Janeway was saying.

"Gamma shift reported that long range sensors have detected an M class planet approximately 2.3 light years away.  A preliminary sweep shows that it is uninhabited and that there are deposits of dilithium, as well as other useful minerals in several caves on its northern continent."

"Sounds just like the doctor ordered."  Chakotay smiled.  "What's the catch?"

"The catch," said Tuvok with the customary raised eyebrow, "is that scans also detected a Borg transwarp conduit signature not 4000 kilometers away."

Seven studied the padd in front of her containing the information on the planet and its surroundings.  "I see no sign of the Borg on the planet.  Perhaps it has always been uninhabited.  It is likely that the conduit opened to this planet for investigation, nothing more. If there is nothing to assimilate, it is unlikely that they will return there."

"That may well be, " Janeway said, studying the padd in front of her.  "However, before I risk my entire crew on a "maybe" I need a little more information."  Janeway looked up at her.  "Seven, can you tell when a transwarp conduit has been used last?  How long it's been since the Borg visited?"

Seven nodded slowly.  "I would have to get within 1000 kilometers of the conduit and run scans to detect warp signature decay.  I would recommend using a small shuttlecraft to keep detection at a minimum.  If the Borg do arrive, it is unlikely that they will bother with so small a craft, particularly if we stick to impulse power only."

Janeway leaned back in chair, looking at the ceiling a moment to think over the information.  She looked at her first officer.  "Well?"

Chakotay nodded slowly, "It could be the safest route to take.  We aren't in any shape to take on anyone, let alone the Borg at this time, but we really need the supplies."

Janeway nodded.  "Tuvok?"

The Vulcan was silent for moment, obviously examining the logic of this decision.  "I would have to conclude that Seven is correct.  It seems the most logical course of action to take."

Janeway seemed satisfied with that.  "Then that is what we will do.  Seven, how long will it take you to adjust the sensor array on a shuttlecraft to detect the warp signature decay?"

Seven glanced at Harry.  "With Ensign Kim's assistance, approximately 5.5 hours."

"Fine.  Tom, I want you to lay in a course to this planet.  Everyone else, you know what to do.  Dismissed."  

Harry stood, pulling the padd with Seven's message on it from his pocket.  He approached her, feeling a bit apprehensive. "Seven?"

She turned, looked down at the padd in his hand and then back at him.  He could see her cheeks looked faintly pink.  "Yes, Ensign?"

He smiled at her and handed her the padd.  "I will comply.  Unless of course we get behind on schedule with realigning the sensor array."

Her lips twitched briefly and he could swear he saw the barest hint of amusement in her eyes.  "That would be inefficient."

"Agreed."  He grinned and stepped back a pace to let her go in front of him.  "Shall we get started then?"

They left the conference room together, oblivious to the looks being passed between the Captain, first officer, and helmsman.  Tuvok merely raised his eyebrow.  B'Elanna crossed her arms in front of her and chuckled.  "Wonders will never cease.  The Ice Queen is thawing."

"As you were, Lieutenant!"  Janeway growled.

B'Elanna had the grace to look slightly chagrinned.  "Sorry, Captain."  She followed Neelix and Tom out of the meeting room, Tuvok on her heels. 

Janeway hid her smile, but her eyes twinkled.  Chakotay merely looked puzzled.  "What was that all about?"

She slipped her arm through his briefly and smiled up at her handsome first officer.  For someone who was usually so observant and intuitive, he could be so dense sometimes.  "Seven and Harry have finally found common ground."

"Ah!"  he exclaimed.  He smiled fondly down at her.  "Shall we get to work?"

"I suppose so," she sighed with a touch of melodrama.  She released his arm and walked out to her bridge, ready for whatever the day might throw at her.  It had already proved interesting so far.  She settled into her chair.  "Mr. Paris, is the course set?"

"Aye, Captain."  He swiveled in his chair to grin at her.  He really was so impudent at times.  His grin was contagious however.  

"Then what are you waiting for?  Warp factor one!"  She leaned back and watched the stars jump on the view screen in front of her.  She'd give anything right now to be a fly on the wall of a certain shuttlecraft. 

~ * ~

"Ensign, please hand me the transmodifier."  Seven called over her shoulder to Harry.  Her mind was occupied with the task at hand and she had slipped back into the more familiar term.  Harry didn't mind.  He actually had gotten used to her calling him Ensign, and it did seem more appropriate while they were working.  Still, he hoped she wouldn't stop calling him Harry when they were off duty.  Something about the way she said his name made his heart beat a little faster.

"Ensign Kim!"  Seven was looking at him, her lips curved slightly into what he could swear was a smile.

"Sorry, Seven."  He handed her the tool and watched her work on the sensors with respect almost touching on awe.  This was one of the aspects about Seven of Nine that drew him.  He'd be lying if he didn't admit that he found her physically attractive; he found her extremely so.  However, it was her brilliance that made her more than just another pretty face.  There was no shortage of attractive women on this ship, and he had certainly dated a few.  None of them, however, even came close to Seven of Nine's intelligence.  She had the advantage of over 1000 species knowledge at her disposal, so he supposed it wasn't fair to compare her to the other females on board.  But fair or not, Harry didn't care.  She rivaled Tuvok when it came to logic, only lacking the complete control over her emotions that the Vulcan had.  She was, after all, ultimately human.  Something Harry was finding he was extremely grateful for.  

An electric charge jumped from the board Seven was working on and shocked her hands.  

"Seven!"  Harry lurched forward, pulling her away from the board.

"I am undamaged."  Her hands stung painfully. She held them out in front of her.  "See?"

Harry took her hands in his and examined them, looking for tell tale scorch marks or burns. He turned them over, his thumb accidentally rubbing across the palm of her hand, tickling her. She gasped and almost jerked that hand out of his grasp.

"What?  Did I hurt you?"  He brought that hand up closer so he could inspect it better.

"No.  I experienced a strange sensation when your thumb brushed my palm."  She tried to pull her hands away from his.  

A funny expression crossed Harry's features and he let go of her hands like they were hot.  "Oh.  Well, then.  As long as you're not hurt."  He fidgeted briefly.  "What happened with the board?"  He leaned over her shoulder to look at the controls that were still sparking occasionally.

"I believe that the 3rd circuit here overloaded the board.  It should require a simple adjustment of the power couplings here, and here."  She pointed above her at the overhead conduit compartment.  "If you will lift the main cable out of the way, I believe I can reach the necessary coupling to repair it."

"Sure, no problem."  He reached up over his head into the conduit, found the main cable and lifted.  The thing was a lot heavier than it looked and it took both hands to hold it out of the way for her.  She stepped under his arm to stand in front of him, reaching into the conduit for the coupling underneath where the cable was.  As she worked, she was conscious of several things:  the sound of the sonic tool working on the coupling, how warm it was getting in the shuttlecraft, how close Harry was behind her, and the clean smell of the soap he used in the shower this morning.  She swallowed, her saliva glands suddenly not working at full capacity.  Her body was feeling funny and she wasn't sure why.  Perhaps she should ask the doctor about it when she saw him today.

Harry was very aware of Seven standing inches away from him, almost touching, as she worked.  His body was also reacting to her closeness in a way that it hadn't when he was holding her in Astrometrics.  He prayed that it wouldn't betray and embarrass him.  He tried to keep his mind completely on the work, and hoped that she would finish soon.

Seven finished repairing the coupling and stepped back, bumping into Harry, who in turn, lost his grip on the heavy cable, which threw him off balance.  Seven reached out and grabbed him before he could fall on his rear.  Suddenly, he was in her arms, and she in his.  

He looked at her, standing slightly breathless, her blue eyes wide and startled.  He knew he should let go now and thank her for catching him, but somehow, before he could think, he found himself leaning down, mesmerized by her eyes and drawn by the soft gasp that escaped her parted lips.  He brushed his mouth against hers in a soft kiss, feeling the connection of her lips against his like a plasma shock.  He kissed her, and felt her go rigid in his arms.  He opened his eyes and read the shock and...he wasn't sure what…on her face and in her eyes.  He released her abruptly, an apology rising to his lips.

She brushed past him and fled the shuttle, leaving him to sink wearily to the floor, bitterness rising in his throat.  He'd blown it.  He'd gone too fast for her.  Hell! He slammed his fist angrily on the floor of the shuttle, she'd only just started to really open up to him and communicate and he took advantage of that like…like...some Don Juan!  He buried his face in his hands, his eyes burning with the threat of tears.

~ * ~

Seven fled the shuttle, her mind whirling with so many emotions she couldn't possibly begin to count.  All she could really tell was that she was confused first and foremost, and slightly afraid.  Everything was so new!  She slowed to a rapid walk, her hand rising to her lips, which still tingled from Harry's touch.  It seemed that the death of One had opened the floodgates of her emotions and now she was experiencing all of them at once.  

His kiss!  

Her walk slowed, her hand still touching her lips.  She knew what kissing was.  She'd read about it in the ship's database, she'd even seen it first hand on several occasions between crewmembers in their off duty pursuits.  She had never had the opportunity to experience one, however.  The reality was it had unnerved her.  

His lips had been so soft, so gentle.  The shock from them rivaled the shock from the board she had gotten earlier.  She touched her lips again, troubled.  

Seven’s feet had brought her almost automatically to sickbay.  She stepped inside, looking for the doctor.  He looked up from the padd he was reading and smiled.  "Ah, Seven.  You're early for your social lesson."

To her complete horror, she burst into tears.

The doctor raised his eyebrows in alarm.  He quickly rushed to her side, running the medical tricorder over her to see what might be malfunctioning.   He had her sit on a biobed while he ran the scans, handing her a tissue to wipe away her tears.  

"Hmm,"  he said, finishing up the scans.  Seven had managed to regain most of her composure, although she was completely mortified about her loss of control.  He snapped the medical tricorder shut and leaned back against the biobed across from her.  

"Well, other than an extremely elevated level of endorphins, you seem to be functioning just fine."  He looked searchingly at her.  "Do you want to tell me what that was all about?"  His brow furrowed as he looked at her, concern written all over his holographic features.

"I must be malfunctioning somehow."  Seven said, her voice sounding strained to her.  "I seem to be experiencing..." she stopped, and a bark of laughter escaped her.  "Everything."

The EMH raised an eyebrow, turning the tricorder on again.  He didn't really need to scan her again, but it gave him something to do while he talked to her.  It was a comforting routine.  "I suspect that this is related to your recent loss of One?"

Seven nodded, feeling calmer and more in control by the minute. "Since the termination of One, I have experienced many different emotions:  grief, embarrassment, and various others that I do not wish to detail."  She sat up straighter.  "Embarrassment in particular is an annoying and inefficient emotion.  It causes fear and insecurity as well."  She looked pleadingly at the doctor. "Something is wrong with me.  I am overwhelmed by all of these emotions.  They have all come at once.  I wish for them to go away."

The EMH snorted. "Welcome to humanity, Seven."  He smiled at her, taking the sting out of his words. "I don't wish to be unsympathetic, but isn't that what you've been working for all this time?  Your humanity?"

She crossed her arms in front of her. "I did not know it would be like this.  Is this what it is like for everyone?"

The doctor smiled, patting her arm.  "I suspect that because these emotions are so completely new to you, that they are overwhelming.  Once you become more accustomed to them, you will be able to handle your emotions and not let them control you."  He sat down beside her on the biobed.  "All humans and various alien species experience emotions to some degree or another.  Only Vulcans seem to be truly in control of their emotions, and only once every seven years do they experience uncontrollable emotions.  You know this from your studies of the humans in the database.  You know this also from your experiences with other crewmembers on this ship."

Seven nodded, knowing that the EMH was enjoying his "lecture mode", but appreciating the information he was giving.  

"All I can tell you is that it should improve over time.  I would also recommend talking with Tuvok.  If anyone can help you come to grips with your new emotions, it's him."  The EMH got up and picked up the tricorder again, checking the readings.  "I am curious about this high endorphin level, however."  He looked up at her.  "What were you doing just prior to coming to see me?"

"Kissing Harry Kim."  There was that embarrassment again.  She couldn't meet the doctor's eyes.

The doctor's eyebrows arched up to the top of his head.  "Well.  E-hem.  That would explain it then."  He paused.  "You want to tell me about it?"  He put as much empathy in his voice as possible.

Seven looked at her hands, and then closed her eyes.  "It was awful."

"He's a bad kisser?"

"No!"  Her blue eyes flashed to his.  His mouth twitched briefly.

"You didn't want him to kiss you?"

"No, I…it is not that at all."  She sighed, searching for the right words.

The doctor was beyond surprise at this point.  He had lost track of the number of new things Seven had done and experienced since she entered his sickbay.  She was so unlike herself in so many ways, he was beginning to worry for her mental state.  "Take your time."  He said softly, encouragingly.  She obviously needed to talk.

She took a deep breath and looked at him.  "I liked the kiss.  It was not what I expected, but how would I have known what to expect beyond the technical aspects of it and what I had seen from others?"

"Then what was it about it that made it awful?"  He asked gently.  She really was quite upset.

"I did not know how to kiss him back, how to let him know I liked what he was doing.  I think he did not like it."  She looked at her knees.

The doctor took a deep breath.  It was for affect only, but somehow it made him feel better.  "Tell me why you think that?"

"He pulled away from me.  He did not initiate any further contact. He just looked horrified."  Her voice broke.  She wouldn't look up from her knees.  

The doctor hid his smile quickly behind his hand and tried to look his absolute most professional.  "E-hem.  I think I understand."  He did indeed.  Knowing young Ensign Kim had been smitten with Seven since he first saw her, he saw much deeper into the situation than Seven possibly could know.  "Seven, it is okay."

She looked up at him, her blue eyes flashing.  He added anger to the list of emotions he was mentally keeping. "How is it okay?"

He sighed and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.  "Seven, Harry didn't pull away from you because he didn't like kissing you."

Something hopeful flickered across her face.  He continued, "Harry pulled away because he was afraid he had gone too far, too quickly with you.  He was afraid you didn't like what he was doing, and he was certainly afraid to go any further than that."

Seven nodded, a small smile slowly spread across her lips.  "He has the same fears I do."

"Precisely."  The doctor nodded with satisfaction.  Seven was an apt pupil.  "I think you really should talk with him.  He probably is feeling badly about this."

"What should I say?"  

"Just be honest with him.  Harry will appreciate your honesty most of all."  The doctor couldn't help but feel a little smug.  He had managed to operate successfully as a counselor in this situation.  "Just take it slow and easy."

Seven stepped down off the biobed. "Thank you, doctor.  I am feeling much better about this now."  

He folded his arms across his chest and beamed.  "Glad to be of assistance, Seven."

"I still require further assistance in the matter of social skills."  She stepped closer to him.

He raised an eyebrow, "Oh?  Well, certainly.  Where do you wish to begin?"

"I have a date tonight with Harry.  I would like everything to go perfectly.  And I want to kiss him correctly."  Seven stated matter-of-factly.

The EMH's smug smile vanished and he looked momentarily lost for words.  Seven continued to look at him, patiently.  Finally, he composed himself enough to speak.  "Seven, I can help you with the first two.  The third is something you just have to learn on your own."  He smiled quickly.  "I think if you talk to Harry and you're honest with him, that it will be a self-resolving issue."  He stepped over to the computer and tapped a couple of keys.  "Now, when is this date of yours?"

~ * ~

"Seven of Nine to Ensign Kim"

Harry opened his eyes and lifted his head.  He took a deep breath.  "Kim here, go ahead Seven."  He stared at the shuttle interior and waited.  

"Harry, I do not wish to see you at Sandrine's tonight."  Seven's voice came coolly over his combadge.  His heart sunk lower than before, and he felt like it might just break out of his chest completely.

"I understand."

"I would like to have dinner with you on Holodeck Two instead."

Harry blinked back tears.  Had he heard her correctly?  He tried to speak and had to clear his throat.  "Wh-what time?" It was all he could manage.

"1900 hours."

He just sat there, a smile spread slowly across his features until it lit his entire face.

"Harry?"  Seven's voice brought him out of his mental coma.

"I'll be there with bells on."

There was a decided pause on the other end.  "I hope you are speaking figuratively.”

Harry laughed.  "I'll see you at 1900."

The doctor’s voice came over the come badge a few moments later.  "Mr. Kim, if I might have a word with you before your date?"

"Sure doc.  I'll stop by on my way there."  Harry was already trying to figure out what he was going to wear. 

"See you shortly, then.  EMH out"

Alarm bells went off in Harry's head.  "Computer, what time is it?"

"It is 1814 and 30 seconds,” the cool feminine tones of the computer informed him.  He jumped to his feet and dashed out of the shuttlecraft.  He had a date to get ready for!

~ * ~

Seven stared at her reflection in the mirror.  She didn't quite recognize the woman gazing back at her.  She was wearing a dress of softest blue-gray silk.  It contoured to her upper body, falling away gracefully at the waist to form a knee length pleated skirt.  The sleeves were wrist length and loose, the neck was something the doctor called a "sweetheart neckline".  Who would have guessed that he knew so much about fashion?  Her legs were encased in some uncomfortable type of stockings that were made of sheer material.  They didn't hide anything, but actually seemed to emphasize the creamy whiteness of her skin, making them appear smooth and silky.  Her shoes were high heels that were dyed the exact shade of her dress.  The shoes were the only familiar part of her ensemble, as she was used to wearing elevated heels on her shoes.  

It was the hair that took the most getting used to.  The doctor had taken it down from its customary twist and fluffed it about her face, using a brush to style it in a pleasing manner about her face and shoulders.  He said it was one of her best features.  She did admit that with her hair down around her face she looked softer, more feminine; more woman and less Borg.  She certainly felt more aware of her body than she ever had in the past. She was not used to her legs being exposed like this and she felt somewhat vulnerable.  She knew she would feel more comfortable in one of her skintight biometric suits, but she wanted to dress special for Harry.  She wanted tonight to be special, not certain of how or why.  She dismissed those concerns.  What mattered most to her was the opportunity to spend social time with someone who had become a good friend to her in the last day.  Someone who cared for her.  Someone who had been occupying her thoughts far too much lately.  

Seven practiced her smile at her reflection and nodded in satisfaction.  It was time to leave.

She left Cargo Bay Two and walked to the turbo lift, trying to ignore the wide-eyed open stares of the crewmembers she passed along the way.  She knew they were not used to seeing her look like this.  She just hoped she wouldn't loose her nerve along the way.

~ * ~

The turbo lift stopped and the doors opened.  Harry stepped into the corridor that led to Holodeck Two.  His thoughts were racing and he didn't quite recognize the figure in blue waiting for him in front of the holodeck doors as his date.  It took a minute to register that this beautiful, feminine, smiling being was his date for the evening.

"Hello, Harry."  

He blinked and then smiled at her. "You look breathtaking, Seven."  He handed her a single red rose.  "This is for you."

She took the flower from him, and smelled it.  The fragrance was pleasing.  She was glad the doctor had mentioned the gifting of dead flowers as a dating ritual.  "Thank you."

He offered her his arm and she took it, resting her hand on his bicep.  She admired how handsome he looked.  He had dressed special for her, wearing black silk slacks and matching black silk shirt. The shirt, she noticed, was cut in an unusual style.  It had long sleeves that belled out at the wrists slightly.  The color stood up instead of folding over, with a space where the shirt buttoned up.  The length of it hit him about mid-thigh, and the sides of it were slit as well.  As she examined it closer, she saw that, weaved carefully in the fabric, were tiny silver dragons breathing tiny silver flames.  She looked up and smiled.  He had been enjoying her looking him over.  "Do I meet with your approval?"

"You look very handsome, Harry, although I do not see any bells.” 

He grinned down at her.  "They're hidden."  He gestured to the Holodeck.  "Shall we?"

"Just a moment."  She turned to the Holodeck controls.  "Computer, run Seven of Nine program Alpha Zero One."

"The program is running.  Enter when ready," the computer answered.

They walked through the Holodeck entrance, the doors swooshing shut behind them and Seven smiled at Harry's expression.  "Is this satisfactory?"

"Very,” he said, his smile widening with approval.

They were at a restaurant that obviously was designed for its patrons to eat al-fresco.  Lush foliage and flowers were everywhere, their musky perfume was slightly intoxicating.  The sky was a dusky shade of blue and he could see that there was a spectacular sunset in the making.  There was a single table for two set out in the courtyard of the restaurant, draped in white and set in silver.  He didn't see any other patrons.

"Good evening Sir, Madame.  May I escort you to your table?"  A holographic tuxedoed host appeared from nowhere.  

Harry nodded and with the most beautiful woman in the galaxy on his arm, he followed the man to their table.  

They sat across from each other and studied menus, suddenly overcome with shyness.  Their waiter brought champagne for them and a small string quartet began playing in the corner of the courtyard.  The music helped to fill the silence between them.

"What are you going to have?"  Harry asked, desperately trying to start conversation once more.

Seven looked thoughtful.  "I am unsure of what to order.  I am not used to eating food for its taste, merely for its nutritional value."

"May I order for you?"

Seven nodded, closing her menu.  She would eat whatever he ordered.  Food was irrelevant, so long as it met her nutritional requirements.  She did, however, like the taste of the champagne.  She sipped hers appreciatively, looking across the table at the handsome man she was with.  The doctor's advice had been extremely helpful so far.  She hoped that the evening continued as smoothly.

Their waiter arrived with a basket of bread and fresh fruit, which he placed between them.  He then proceeded to light the candle in the center of the table. When he was finished, he turned his attention to them once more.  "What would you like this evening?"

Harry looked at Seven, who smiled at him, momentarily taking his breath away.  "We would like to start with an appetizer of lobster stuffed mushrooms, and for the lady, Chicken Marsala. For myself, I would like the Chicken Alfredo with wild mushrooms."

"Excellent choice, sir.  I'll have the appetizer right out."  The waiter turned on his heel and left, heading for the kitchen.

Seven smiled, raising an eyebrow at Harry.  "An appetizer?"

He just nodded, enjoying himself immensely.  

The sun was setting, coloring the sky with pinks, violets, and oranges.  They sat quietly for a moment, enjoying the beauty of it.  Seven tried not to think about the scientific reasons for why the sunset was different colors, but instead to enjoy it for what it was: a thing of beauty.  Harry found himself looking at the colors reflected in Seven's eyes and had to look away.  The time had come and it was awkward for both of them.

"Seven, I have to apologize for this afternoon."

"Why?  Are you sorry it happened?"

Harry wasn't prepared for her bluntness.  He guessed he should have been, he thought.  Seven was never known for subtlety.  He decided to match her tactic.

"No.  I'm not sorry it happened.  But I don't feel it was an appropriate thing to have happened while we were on duty and since you were unprepared for it."  There.  He said it.  He sipped his champagne, reaching for a strawberry and avoiding her gaze.

"I am not sorry it happened either.  It wasn't appropriate for it to have happened while we were on duty.  But I am informed that sometimes these things just happen."  Seven watched him eat the strawberry, noting the obvious satisfaction in his features.  She reached for one herself and examined it, causing Harry to chuckle.

"It’s not poisonous, Seven.  Just take a bite."  He was still reeling from her statement about this afternoon.  Maybe she did feel something beyond friendship for him.  It was time to find out.  He laid all his cards on the table.

"Would you like for it to happen again, sometime?"  Oh God, Harry.  Why don't you just rip your heart out and give it to her and be done with it.  He was afraid to look at her, so he took another strawberry and ate it.

Silence.

He swallowed his strawberry and risked looking.  She was smiling that small smile of hers.  

"Yes. Very much.”

Harry nearly choked on his champagne.  The waiter arrived with their appetizer, saving him from having to answer her immediately.

Seven eyed the mushrooms distrustfully.  "What are these things called again?"

Harry wiped his mouth with his napkin and placed it across his knees.  "Stuffed mushrooms.  Try one."  He speared a mushroom with his fork and placed it on the tiny appetizer plate in front of her. 

"It looks more appealing than most of Neelix's culinary contributions,” she said, eyeing it thoughtfully.

Harry laughed.

She used her fork to cut the mushroom in half, placed one half of it in her mouth, chewing experimentally.  The look on her face reminded Harry of the first time his cousin's 3 year old daughter had eaten chocolate:  pure enjoyment and surprise. He grinned and watched her eat the remaining half of her mushroom with a relish.  

"I take it you like them?"  He chuckled at her expression.  It was so unlike her usual customary expression.  Her blue eyes sparkled and her mouth, usually so serious, seemed to be perpetually turned up at the corners in that special smile she had.  

She nodded, sipping her champagne to clear her palate.  "I have a much better understanding now of why there are over 4000 references to food preparation in the ship’s database."  She looked at the remaining mushrooms on the plate.  "You have not eaten a mushroom yet."

"I was enjoying watching you eat them."  Harry said, grinning to cover his nervousness.  He had taken the doctors advice of honesty this evening and so far it had been good advice to take.  He still wasn't used to being so open with her.  She had always seemed so intimidating to him.  Watching her eat the mushrooms with childlike glee did quite a bit to dispel the intimidation factor. 

Shyly, she served him a mushroom. "Please, I feel like I will consume them all without your help."

He was delighted at her gesture.  The mushroom melted on his tongue.  He had never tasted anything so good.  

Seven watched him eat the mushroom, pleased at her progress in this social setting.  They had been on their date for approximately 23.2 minutes and so far she hadn't made any fatal mistakes.  She sipped her champagne, feeling the bubbles tickle her nose pleasantly.  There was an air of anticipation between them that she found she was enjoying. 

Their waiter arrived with their entrées and Seven once again found herself looking down at something completely mysterious, yet visually pleasing.  The aroma wafted up and Seven found her saliva glands had increased their production in reaction to the smell.  She glanced up at Harry, who was smiling at her.  Gamely, she took her fork and cut into the chicken on her plate and placed a morsel of it on her tongue.  The unique new flavors she was experiencing were nearly overwhelming.  "Mmmmm.."  The sound escaped of its own volition.

Harry laughed.  "Good, huh?"  He took a bite of his own food, not really tasting it, far too distracted and entertained by watching Seven consume her first 'real' meal.  If he had only known she would enjoy eating food prepared for flavor instead of merely nutritional value, he would have insisted she try it long ago.  The look on her face was priceless.  

They finished their meal, speaking comfortably between bites of chicken and sips of champagne about the upcoming away mission to the M class planet and the Borg transwarp conduit.  Seven finally sat back, pushing her plate slightly away from her.  

"My midsection is uncomfortable," she stated, looking down at her stomach as if expecting to see the reason for her discomfort.

"I hope you didn't eat too much," Harry joked nervously.  Between the rich food and the champagne, he wondered if it might have been too much for her digestive system.  Having a sick Borg on his hands would not be his ideal way of ending their first date.

"Impossible.  My internal monitoring systems will not let me consume beyond my body's capacity," Seven stated matter-of-factly.  "However, I'm uncertain if I should consume any further champagne.  My head is beginning to feel slightly fuzzy."

"We could go for a walk if it would make you feel better," Harry offered quickly, not wanting the date to end.

Seven didn't understand how walking would help to ease her discomfort, but she wasn't willing for their social encounter to end yet either.  She smiled slightly, placing her napkin on her plate.  "That would be very...nice."  

Harry stood and walked around the table to her side to pull out her chair.  Seven moved so that he could push her chair back in, and found that her balance was slightly impaired.  Harry quickly took her arm to help her balance.  "Easy there."  

She regained her equilibrium and allowed Harry to tuck her arm through his once more.  "Where shall we walk?" He looked down at her, dark eyes smiling.

"There is a garden path located approximately seven yards behind the restaurant.  That is the source of the fragrance this restaurant is famous for."  Seven gestured and they walked together, slowly towards the path that was just becoming visible.  

The sun had set completely and two moons had risen in the east, giving them plenty of light to walk by.  They walked in silence together, both looking about the Holodeck program, at the stars, the moons, the flowers around them, at anywhere but each other.  They were both extremely conscious of one another, but the moment had become uncomfortable once again, neither knowing what to expect of the other, each wanting more, but uncertain of where to begin.  They stopped in front of a large bush that was blooming with beautiful lilac blossoms.  The scent permeated the air heavily, almost intoxicating.  

"Seven."  Harry broke the silence, finally.  

"Yes?"  Seven turned slightly to face him.  

The moonlight graced her features, making her seem impossibly beautiful to him.  His gaze wandered from her sparkling eyes to her mouth, remembering the feel of it against his.  He swallowed, butterflies dancing madly in his stomach.  Seven moved closer to him, into the circle of his arms, feeling him press her close to his chest.  He reached up with his right hand and touched her hair, feeling its softness caress his fingers.  

She lifted her face to his as he leaned in, his lips brushing hers gently, and he felt her respond to his kiss. When he lifted his head and looked at her, he was amazed that anyone could be so beautiful.  Her lips were slightly parted, her eyes closed, her cheeks stained with blush not caused from the champagne. Her eyelashes fluttered as she opened her eyes.  

Seven smiled with uncertain shyness.  "I have never kissed any one before you.  I am afraid I am not yet proficient at it."

Harry held her in his arms and laughed at the sky.  She frowned at him.  

"I fail to see what is so humorous, Harry."

"Seven, my dear Seven."  He gasped, finally controlling his laughter.  "You will never hear me complain, as long as you let me do that again."

She pulled back a little as he went to kiss her again and his smile vanished.  "What?  I'm sorry."  

She could feel him pulling away.  She wrapped both arms around him and held him to her. "There is nothing to apologize for, Harry.  I just wanted to say something before you kissed me again."  

He smiled returned and he was relieved.  "Anything, Seven."

"Teach me how to kiss."  Her request was the sweetest whisper in his ear.

Harry's full lips curved in a smile before they touched her own.  Gently he kissed her, using all his skill to soften the lips beneath his.  "Relax your mouth, Seven.  Give it to me, follow what I do."  He whispered against her lips.  He could feel the tension in her frame slowly give way, allowing her body to relax in his arms.  Her lips parted slightly and he took the invitation, slipping his tongue inside her mouth, caressing lips and tongue with his.  She seemed startled by the invasion, but didn't pull away.  She mimicked his movements, darting her tongue inside his mouth like the sweetest quicksilver, sucking lightly on his lower lip, then pressing her mouth tighter against his. He could feel her heart beating rapidly against him, felt her tremble slightly in his arms.  He pulled her closer too him, his lips moved from her mouth to her jaw, exploring the soft flesh behind her ear. She sighed softly in his ear, her breath sending warm shivers down his spine.  He cupped the back of her head, fingers threading through her hair, and kissed her deeply this time, giving her true taste of his passion. His lips plundered hers, tasting their sweet nectar like a hummingbird feasting on honeyblossoms.  She yielded to his kiss, beginning to return it with a hunger that matched his own.  

Breathless, he released her mouth and looked at her, eyes glittering with emotion.  He wanted so much more from her, but he knew that he'd better stop things where they were now.  He could tell that she was overwhelmed at this point and needed time to get a grasp on her emotions.  She was breathing heavily, her lips full and bruised looking from his kisses, her blue eyes full of a heat he'd never seen in them before.  He had never seen her look so desirable.

She leaned against him, flushed and gasping slightly as if she had just played an invigorating round of "Velocity".  She understood the physical reactions her body was going through in response to the high endorphin level it was producing;  that Harry was causing her to respond this way was exciting and frightening all at once.  She looked up at him, and wondered at the urge to kiss him yet again.  He met her gaze, touching her lips softly with his finger, his expression mysterious to her.

"State your intentions," she challenged him softly.

Harry smiled, feeling that his heart was about to explode from joy.  "Only honorable ones, Seven."  He tried to ignore the disappointed voice in the back of his head, envisioning a bucket of ice water to dump on it.

She raised an eyebrow.  "I hope that is open to negotiation."

He chuckled softly, hugging her close to him, reveling in the feel of her body against his.  He would have never dreamed a week ago that he would be holding her this close to him, let alone be enjoying playful banter with the former "Ice Queen."

"Yes, Seven.  It most certainly is."  He tucked her head under his chin, placing a kiss on the top of her head.  His hands rubbed in slow circles on her back. 

"Good." She sighed, feeling her pulse resume a more normal cadence.  Her emotions seemed much more her own now.  She let Harry hold her, enjoying the feel of strength in his arms, the sound of his heart beat beneath her ears, and warm, vaguely spicy scent of his skin.  "Where do your honorable intentions lead us now?"

He sighed and released her, capturing her hands and holding them tightly with his own.  "I think we should take it one day at a time, Seven.  You've never done this for real, and I don't want to scare you off."

The corner of her mouth twitched briefly. "I have assimilated over 300,000 teraquads of information regarding the mating behaviors of the human species, as well as those of several compatible alien ones as well.  I do not understand what there is to be 'scared of'."  

Harry took a deep breath, thinking of the best response.  "Be that as it may, you have no firsthand experience with this.  And I want more than just a single night with you, indulging in 'human mating behavior'."  He released her hands and took a small step back, running a hand through his hair and mussing it slightly in the process.  "I want to date you, to get to know you, to be your friend, to be with you..."  He paused, looked into her eyes and threw all caution to the wind, "to love you, and to make love to you for as many nights as there are stars."

Seven was speechless. She knew that Harry cared for her, and she had just recently begun to discover that she in turn had feelings for him.  She had no idea that his feelings ran that deep for her.  She took a deep breath, turning slightly away from him so that she could gather her thoughts without having him distract her.

"You are correct.  I am completely inexperienced with relationships on a first hand basis, both emotional and physical."  She admitted, her eyes following the pattern of the lilac blossoms in front of her.  "And until just very recently, the only human beings I had become close to were the captain, and the doctor."  Her mouth twitched in a wry smile.  "Although some may debate that the doctor counts because he is a hologram and not a real human being."  

She heard him chuckle softly.  Picking a blossom from the bush across from her, she continued speaking, using the blossom as a focus for her thoughts.  She wanted to say this right.  Harry had spoken his heart to her, openly and honestly.  She felt he deserved the same from her.  

"I have had the opportunity to become closer to you over the past two days, and it has been a pleasant and sometimes surprising experience.  I look forward to continuing our relationship as well."  She looked up at him.  "Both emotionally and physically."  She stepped closer to him.  "I too want to know you, learn about you, be with you.  I find pleasure in your company.  I want to be your friend, and have you be mine."  She swallowed suddenly, her throat had become dry.  She found the courage to continue in his eyes.  "I do not know what love is, or what it is to be loved.  But I would like to learn."

She stepped into his waiting arms, feeling them close about her tenderly.  The lilac blossom was crushed between them and its scent enveloped them both.  She touched his face as she'd wanted to do in Astrometrics, feeling the smoothness against her palm.  "Would that be acceptable to you?"

He placed a kiss on her palm, his smile flashed in the moonlight.  "Seven, my dearest.  That would be most acceptable."

-The End-