Friday, April 14, 2006
MOVED to www.conceal-ed.livejournal.com
Yes, you heard me right
I know I've moved for the umpteenth time
I, too, wonder when this is going to stop
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Last CO practice for Sec 4s today
I actually attended the 'practice', which in fact was some photo-taking session
Somehow, I'm not really upset despite the fact that this final episode spells a number of things for me in the future
That I may not play the pipa ever again, though I have the scores, the instrument and the fake nails at home
That I may not have a chance to perform on stage again
That I will not peform with NHCO anymore, even though chances that seniors are welcome to return and perform are high
There's a performance in July
Yet, due to other commitments, I have to drop this opportunity
I chose CO
But debate chose me
That's why for the latter, I have the passion and the drive to make it happen
As for the former, it seems more like a chore
But of course, I will remember the good old memories of NHCO
The two Cultural Potpourri performances at UCC, especially
Perhaps it's because I love the dressing room over there
But it also brought the CO members closer because the time we spent together there was the longest
I will also miss putting on make up
CO makes me pretty =)
Last of all, I will miss being a performer
But this is life
For everything you hold on to, you got to let something else go
You make me want to fall in love
Now, this is bad
Oh yes, I'm so going to smash my computer against the wall or something
It's a huge distraction!
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
A formula could cost me 2 marks
And destroy my plan of getting full marks for A Math
Well, actually, I didn't plan to but it's the formula that dashed all my hopes
If I'd bothered to take a glimpse of the formula, I would have scored full marks for A Math!
And how rare is that?
Now, this stain will remain with me forever
Formula for surface area of sphere is 4 pie r square
I wrote 3 instead!
2 marks and full marks gone, just like this
Now that I've learnt my lesson the hard way, I'm gonna remember each and every formula by heart
Then again, I think this is a blessing in disguise
It's a way of preventing myself from being complacent
"Look on the bright side of life, girl"
Crush
You know everything that I'm afraid of (er... do you?)
You do everything I wish I did (quite true)
Everybody wants you, everybody loves you (I totally agree)
I know I should tell you how I feel (No way, I'd die if I did)
I wish everyone will disappear (Heh, yea)
Everytime you call me, I'm too scared to be me (It's unlikely of you to call me)
And I'm too shy to say(???)
Ooh,I got a crush on you
I hope you feel the way that I do
I get a rush when I'm with you
Ooh,I got a crush on you
A crush on you
You know I'm the one that you can talk to
Sometimes you tell me things that I don't want to know
I just want to hold you
You say exactly how you feel about her
I wonder could you ever think of me that way
Oh I wish I could tell somebody
But there's no one to talk to
Nobody knows I've got a crush on you
A crush on you
I've got a crush
You say everything that no one says
But I feel everything that you're afraid to feel
How I'll always want you, I will always love you
Sorry, this is what I call self-amusement
But frankly, I have never imagined myself feeling this way
Will some kind soul please stop me from using the computer?
I am just not disciplined enough
I'm gonna be on a hiatus people, for two weeks or so
For now, I only have one thing to say
That is, one of my unrealised dreams can actually come true
And you're the one who's gonna make it happen
I'll pray hard
CHARISMA
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Funny how people always like to choose what they want to see
And choose to believe what they see is right
Envy, envy, envy
Envy not
I have facts to back up my argument
While what the people have are only their own opinions and not a single example
To prove the ridiculous statement that they've made
Demure
Yes, a person is demure when she pushes me
When she speaks so loudly
When most of the things about her are clearly the opposite of demure
These people are blind
Downright blind
I wonder why such actions could warrant praises from people
I'm not saying all this because I want to hear praises
It's not like I have a low self-esteem anyway
But I just feel that what the people said is pretty unjust
And standing up for what I believe strongly is right or wrong has always been my character
If people don't accept me for who I am, it's okay
I'm fine being myself
I don't have to answer to anyone but myself
I know how her character's like, since Sec 1
Everytime after a test and the test which she is confident of doing well, she'll ask me how was the paper
And when we receive our papers back, she'll ask how well did I do
Interestingly, she'll only ask when she feels that she has done well or better than I did
I will certainly not praise people like this
All those people should have seen her face or listened to the tone in her voice when she saw the number of stickers I have left for today's flag day
Just like last week, it's clear that she judges a person's ability with the number of stickers and/or the weight of the tin as a yardstick
And yes, I know that I have to sign when I return my donation tin
Perhaps you tell me to sign out of kindness but I'm not blind like those people who make such comments about you
I can see for myself that those who have returned their tins were signing on the paper
If this is kindness, it's way too extreme and too much for me
If I were one of them, I definitely won't accept you
the world is black, so very black
whatever you people say
i just feel sorry for you people
it's time for a paradigm shift
Thursday, April 06, 2006
I willKeep you in my prayers
Though what I'm feeling now
Is truly weird
I'm definitely not who I think I am
I certainly don't belong to
This circle
Two dreams
One's mine
One's yours
I yearn to see the day when my dream comes true
And for you
Your dream ain't that far
Fight a good battle, friend
May the spirit of the Lord be with you
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
1. Chinese lessons are such a bore
They're used for sweeping the floor, doing homework, sleeping and any other stuff that's no way related to Chinese
2. I can't go watch JGs semi, no matter how much I want to
Oh well, let's just hope that my favourite teams win the semi
3. Mid year's is just less than one month away
Great, I have not started revising at all
4. I feel that I don't fit into the culture of my school
I actually use English most of the time when er, I'm talking to myself?
The sight of Chinese words, especially in a long passage, makes me want to fall asleep
It's not that I dislike the language but I don't even speak Mandarin properly, so both my languages are horrible
5. I think a certain group of people shouldn't get into a particular school
This is bad, so so bad
Because I'm actually judging people when I know very well that we are all the same
And it's our differences that make us unique
But well, I still make mistakes
I mean, I don't like people who are trying to change the way they are because they want to get into a particular school
And what's their reason?
Because it's near their house
I mean, yes, distance is one factor but there are still others that have to be taken into consideration as well
As I write this, I find that I'm afraid
So very afraid of losing to others
I hope this fear won't morph into jealousy or even hatred
I want this fear to vanish as soon as possible
Because it's just not right for me to feel this way
But changing oneself for a school that doesn't suit one at all is unacceptable to me
Why try so hard to change yourself, just because you want to fit into a particular group?
I've always wanted to say this to my friend
Yet, I don't know how to
6. I'm all stressed up because of the mid year's apparently
7. I'm gonna fail my Science practical examinations
For both Biology and Chemistry
But I'll fail more badly for my Chemistry
And for once, I feel so fortunate that I didn't choose to take Physics or else I have to face triple deaths
8. I think nobody can be trusted
Therefore, I'm not attracted to anybody
At least, for the moment
9. I'm gonna be who I was two years ago
Maybe even stronger
In the face of obstacles, I won't give in
Everything I do is for my dream
10. He's the one who knows me best
I've made a promise and I won't ever break it
Awaken the passion to live for You, Lord
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Flag day at Holland V with Alliance
Heh
Just when most of the people were stuck at JE, we made our way there
Spent hours under the sun, asking for donations from passers-by
And now, I've got a tan
Plus legs that are aching
Met a few interesting people
Like someone who showed me a pack of cigarettes instead of saying no
And a forty-plus man who said that he was from NH and walked away
But the most hilarious one was:
"Tell the king of cambodia to make the donations (for your school)" - In Mandarin
So I was wondering what "jian pu zai" was
And it suddenly hit me that it was cambodia
Heh
What a reply
But most of the people there were friendly and generous
I was surprised when the first two dollar note was inserted into the donation tin
I myself, will never make a two dollar donation for flag day
There was a ten dollar donation by the way
Heh
But at the end of the day, it's not the amount of money which I've collected that matters
It's not the number of stickers which I've given out that counts
For it's the heart that counts
Charity is a virtue of the heart, not of the hand, eh =)
Then again, there were a few passers-by who were rather unapproachable
And there were moments when I received rejections continuously
All I could do was - SMILE!
Anyways, ser, evey, jermaine and I had lunch at BK!
How I love BK!
When I was a little child
I dreaded going to BK at Tiong Bahru because of the little playground
I just didn't dare to go down the slide which are full of holes
But I loved the food all the same
Heh
And stupid me paid $6.70 for a burger and a pack of onion rings (regular) when the price for a meal with onion rings is only $6.30
My mum would kill me if she knew about it
Furthermore, this is my second mushroom swiss burger of the week
It seems like I have to refrain myself from having fast food
Flag day next Saturday again
Great
This means that I have no time to study/sleep, considering the fact that I'm going to watch the JGs semi finals
This brings me to a question that JUSTIN (EVEY, LOOK HERE!) asked me - why am I so enthusiastic?
Why am I still watching debates?
And pheng heong helped me answer my question
Because I want to go into JC debate
Well, partly because of this
But even if I can't go into JC debate, which is such a high possibility, I will still go watch JGs or any other debates (like NTU's!)
Because debate's my passion
It's a dream that God gave me when I was twelve
In a way, I have realised this dream of mine
Yet, there's still a long way to go before I can call this dream a fulfilled one
Like I said, my passion for debate won't abate even though my secondary school debate journey has long ended
As long as there's still a glimmer of hope, I will continue my journey for this dream
And as long as I live, my passion for debate remains strong
I will praise thee, O Lord my God, with all my heart: and I will glorify thy name for evermore - Psalms 86:12
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
OopsI don't think I'm supposed to be blogging right now but well...
To me, one of the best things in life is that I do not have to spend hours and waste my energy making decisions that will probably affect my life in the near future
And if you know me really well, you'd know what I'm talking about
It's debate and CO
Again
I felt totally different when I was watching the debate last Friday and while I was watching the CO concert last Sunday
While watching the debate last Friday, I felt some sort of adrenaline rush
And even, at some point, wanted to ask questions or POI (if you think I'm capable of that, that is)
Though I was somewhat half asleep in the middle of the debate
No, not because it was getting boring but due to my lack of sleep the previous night
I was still so keen to see and hear what's going on
On the contrary, when I was watching the Swiss Cottage CO concert last Sunday, I wasn't falling alseep but I simply could not get myself to be excited over the whole thing
While the songs were playing, I was thinking of the reasons that caused us the loss to Swiss Cottage in the first round of JGs
It was that bad
I knew the performance was awesome, otherwise, better than my school's
Yet, I couldn't be bothered to think of the reasons why SCCO was better than my school's
I've given up hope on CO
That's what I told one of my fellow CO members
And I don't regret saying it
Now, I go for CO practices not to practise but just to sit there and kill time, all for the sake of attendance
When I come to think about it, I don't love CO at all
I read my past entries, those on CO performances and stuff
I was saying how much I love CO
How it rocked my life
But it hasn't been the case
Perhaps the fault lies with my choice of words
I like CO, only at an amateur level
Partly because I simply do not have the gift
I'm tone deaf by the way, or at least that's what I think
Heh
Cos I don't bother to find out if I really am or is it just an assumption of mine
And I do not intend to improve my skills on playing the pipa
And I feel sorry for the pipa that's collecting dust in my room right now
I love the stage
But I only love it when I'm speaking, debating, talking into the microphone
When I'm addressing an auditorium full of people
The feeling that I get when I'm on stage playing songs is only temporary
But if one day, I am able to address the floor on stage
I know that day will last forever
Watched the third preliminary round that we recorded
I realised I looked so sissy and gay with all the incessant hand gestures and stuff
After I made a gesture with my left hand, I used the other hand, so on and so forth
Aww... I shouldn't have laughed at others
And yea, my reply for my last debate really sucked
Oh well, it's my fault to get affected easily by others' opinions
Oh
And I get my inspiration most when I lie on my bed
Points immediately sprout out in my mind as soon as I do
Let's call it a day
I think I've said loads but I haven't really touched on what I want to say
=|
mushroom swiss burger at 11pm!
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Disappointment
*ponders*
Even when we see one another, there weren't greetings anymore
And for the whole of this week, I didn't go for the practices
Not like I have any song to practise anyways
But I'm just so tired
Not physically
But more like I'm tired of seeing an empty seat here and there
And they know very well that they're the ones who're taking part in next year's SYF
I can't do anything but turn a blind eye to everything
As for debate, I thought there was hope for the juniors
Yet how many of them are passionate?
Frankly, I don't think anyone is
They expect to turn into great debaters without doing anything
Or maybe just having mock debates
Which are not sufficient
Now I'm starting to give up hope on them
I wonder this happens because the juniors are insensible or what
It's really annoying
Maybe I should just turn a blind eye to everything and not return to help them anymore after I graduate
For both CO and debate, the juniors totally have no respect for me
Like I'm just another friend of theirs
Sure, I can be
But I'm still their senior after all
On a sidenote, I hope UWC won the match last night
And I wonder if the losses were fair
a twist of fate
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
I went on an eating spree today!
Fries, two nuggets, a cheese hotdog
After having all these, I was still hungry and bought a box of sushi
Yet, I was still not satisfied and bought 2 seaweed chickens
Had a cup of chocolate ice-cream when we were waiting outside the museum for the bus to bring us back
Went to Clementi central and had a cup of yam milk tea plus tako balls
And I just had my dinner
=X
Went to the Asian Civilisation Museum after school
Some things were pretty interesting
But Ser and I were walking in rounds and we kept ending up at the same spot
And guess what?
Some of the people saw Thomas Ong filming!
Ah! I want to see!
But he was already gone when I knew of it =|
I'm counting down the days!
Heh
Can't help but smile like an idiot when I think of it
It's been ages!
And I'm real glad that the day is drawing near
I guess I really lack the confidence that I need so badly
I admit that I have a number of doubts in myself
Then again, it's a fact that I'm not even half as good as the others
Nevertheless, this is still my dream
A burning passion of mine
I'm like in two minds right now
It's one of the best
That's why I want to be there
But can I really make it?
constancy and confidence
Saturday, March 18, 2006
When I was looking back on the debate competitions that senior team NH'06 has taken part in, I realised a pattern
All along, we've been having 2 wins and 1 loss
From the Youth 14s to our first year in JGs and then till this year's
Oh well, whatever this means
It's time for the seniors to step down
And entrust the task of becoming a JGs grand finalist to the juniors
But all the seniors have their worries
Passion is what it's all about
Without passion, there won't be hard work
Without hard work, there won't be success
My dream is not yet shattered
For I'm leaving it in the hands of my juniors
But it's really hard
To be a senior who wants the juniors to achieve what you've been longing for
Because you have to accompany them throughout the whole thing
My journey is not yet over
I'm sad but also content to be saying this
Because there's one more - Youth 14s for the juniors
Well, well
Went out with Ass yesterday
For the first time
It's nice having almost the whole theatre to yourselves because it's early in the morning at cine
But it's troublesome at the same time because most of the food are not ready yet, except for er... popcorns
And the stupid neoprint machine dampened my mood
Cheated us of our money!
Two idiots should never take neoprints alone
And I owe Ass $2.50 plus chocolates =X
Go look at the pictures we took, if you've got nothing better to do
Click on the navigation 'counting'
Then click 'picture perfect' under 'exit'
Oh, and Lee Hom is huge in cine, and nearly everywhere!
*faints*
Other than this, he's gonna host the MTV Asia Awards, along with Kelly Clarkson!
*faints once again*
Hey dream, we meet again =)
This time's for sure, I promise
be not nobody
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
It's debate I love
Nothing else
And no one else
Debate is my one and only
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Last night's debate marked the end of my secondary school debating career
Yet it indicated the start of a new chapter of my life
There's not a hint of emptiness but a glimmer of hope
In which a brand new dream arises
Chapters 1, 2 and 3 have long passed
Not only do I want to start the 4th chapter
I want a happy ending as well
Once again, the JGs shield has slipped out of our hands
I'd be lying if I said it didn't matter at all
Yet this is not the worst thing that can happen to us
The worst part is when we find out that we're in the 9th position this year
2 years in a row
I'm perfectly fine with the fact that we placed 9th last year
But I would cry and curse like there's no tomorrow if we are, this year
I wouldn't want to taste how it's like to be so near yet so far
I would rather accept the fact that we're not good enough to place 9th
The harder we fall, the higher we will bounce
I was losing the momentum from Wednesday onwards
But I was truly blessed that He saved me in the nick of time
My performance for the two mock debates went downhill
And I even broke down after the first mock
Because I felt that I've let Him down
I've disappointed the people who have been giving me support
Perhaps I was really trying very hard to be perfect
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
Best speaker - first opp
Pinch me as hard as you can, people!
My reaction was really funny
I was completely stunned and speechless
But it still feels like a dream to me
I really doubt what I heard
Can someone please make a confirmation?
All this time, I never knew I was so strong
But You made me find the fire that was there all along
In Your eyes, I can see all I can be
Suddenly, I want it all
I know You'll catch me if ever I fall
And tis' how it feels reaching for heaven
Thank You, Lord =)
You have always been holding me like a kite, right by Your side
Thanks to Miss Ong and Miss Kali, for being such wonderful ICs
Senior Team NH, for putting your best foot forward
Fellow Sec 4 M.A.D members, for helping us in almost everything
Juniors, for the hand shakes, applause and encouraging words
Seniors, for the help
Evey, Adel, Christina, Elaine and anybody else for the support
Ser, for having to tie my hair twice yesterday because of JGs
Elaine, for sharing what you have read with me - 'perfectionism'!
And of course, not forgetting the best junior that I've ever had in my entire life
*Drum rolls*
Estella Koh!
Thanks a million for having faith in me even though I'm not the best, for encouraging me, for being a good listening ear when I'm dejected, for the flower, the hug, the letter and haha the packet of Strepsils
It's such a pity that I don't have a chance to receive a bouquet of real flowers from you
A pity that I can't get to address the floor on stage with a mike
But I'll assure you that this is not the end, and you haven't seen the best of me =)
You rock!
Haha
I guess it's because you have me as your senior
*winks*
Everything that has a beginning has an end
But my passion for debate won't end here, for sure
Sunday, March 05, 2006
The above pictures were taken during last night's wedding
On a sidenote, the coming week is going to be a significant one for me and my team
We have no reason to lose
Based on our scores right now, we have a high chance of getting into the quarter-finals
Frankly, losing is not even an option
This coming Friday's victory means that I'm a step closer to realising my dream
It's extremely weird but I'm only feeling the pressure now, at the last moment
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Social etiquette
Out of 5 stars
Food - 1.5 stars
Service - 1.5 stars
Ambience - 1 star
What more can I say?
Let your hook always be cast; in the pool where you least expect it, there will be a fish.
DEP
This is the second time I'm pondering over it
It's like a second chance from God
Should I give it a try or not?
My answer last year was a no because I lacked most of the qualities
But this year, I have a certificate
Then again, so what?
It's only a certificate and I'm from the 'C' div
Plus I don't know how to set up cases
Argh
My mind is going to explode
This further affirms that I'm not fated to be in DEP
Goodbye to you
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Salute me, darlings!
Because I managed to walk on the streets, barefooted, without looking like a freak
Er, I guess the without-looking-like-a-freak part is all made up
Because passers-by just looked at me with eyes that screamed 'what the hell are you doing!' or 'why are you walking like this!?'
The stupid pair of sandals, just the left one actually, had to be spoilt while I was crossing the road
So I was like, why can't I move?
*flares up*
I guess everyone thought I was insane
But thank God, I was fortunate to receive help from the temporary stall owners
They tried to help me but to no avail
Thanks anyways
These people are the most kindhearted
Now I know why people say many local people are so aloof
One broken sandal doesn't mean I didn't have to get home right?
So I bit the bullet and dragged my feet with the pair of stupid sandals
When I couldn't take it any longer, I mustered all the courage that I have and walked barefooted
I was so disgusted while I was walking because paranoia was overwhelming me and I couldn't help but think of the stuff that went onto the grounds
Pee, spit, vomit, dirty water and anything terribly awful that I certainly don't want to think of
Too much walking = broken sandal
Be sure to walk in a good pair of shoes if you want to walk from Jurong East to Bugis, then to Raffles City, to Citylink, to Suntec City, to Marina Square and back to Suntec City, then to Jurong West, for like 8 hours?
That was yesterday, by the way
Plus from Jurong West to Jurong East today
What a feat
I mean, walking barefooted on the streets without looking like a freak
harder to breathe
Saturday, February 25, 2006
A week full of emotional breakdowns
I think I really did cry a river
Bah
Two days before Common Test 1, I cried
Even when I waited for my turn to see the doctor, I cried
As I was speaking to Elaine and Adel, I cried
Last night, I cried, and called out someone's name, as if he could hear me
I now start to wonder if I'm plunging into depression
I think I am
I know I am
Argh
But with His amazing grace, I got better
We are
Two worlds apart
Two parallel lines
That never meet
Everything is a chimera
This is the agony and ecstacy of fantasy
don't speak
Friday, February 24, 2006
Cos of you, made it through every storm
I'm so glad I found an angel
Someone who was there when all my hopes fell
I wanna fly, looking in you eyes
There's one person that I really have to thank
I couldn't have come up with the reply speech this evening and for the previous round if not for him
And I'm feeling ashamed of myself because of the terrible case that I had
It was only mediocre
No rebuttals...
Only definition and a case to go with
Now I realise it's hard to score high marks as a first proposition speaker
And I finally understand why winning isn't everything
I'm utterly sad
And I was extremely worried before the debate, however, to say the truth, not for my team
I don't feel worried for my own team
Some people might say that I don't care about my own people but it's all right
Let them think what they want because they don't know the truth that lies beneath
Who I am today, is all thanks to fellow debaters whom I've admired and respected since two years ago
I am very determined to learn from them
Their style, the words that come out from their mouths and from one of them, I've learnt the importance of sportsmanship and being humble
I have to thank God as well
Thanks for making me shine during my reply speech
I know I could have done better, be it for my case or reply
And I seriously don't think it's wrong to smile during a debate, whether I'm speaking or not
Why can't I smile when I'm delievering my reply speech?
That's what I learnt from one of the fellow debaters
It's like, what the hell?
This is so frustrating
Grr... I'm done with all this
Even if I'm not, I would like myself to be
And for the people whom I know really supported me, you'll know who you are... soon
Why can't I eat?
Why can't I sleep?
Why can't I feel a tinge of happiness?
GOSH
Because you live
Monday, February 13, 2006
Time to work my butt off
the end
Saturday, February 11, 2006
I'm down with a throat infection
Strangely, I'm not feeling any better even though I've taken the pills
And I'm intent on keeping my mouth shut so as to give my throat a rest
*sighs*
JGs round 1
So many first-times
Last night was my first time addressing the floor with a sore throat
Which has become infected after the debate
I was trying my best to speak loudly and stuff
I was straining my vocal chords man
An act of professionalism
Ha
Last night was the first time anybody commented that my reply speech was good
Lol
The girl is from NUS High
Coincidentally, she's Evey's friend
After my reply speech, I saw her smiling at me and I was wondering who's that
Lol
But really, I feel so relieved after hearing what she said
But my reply speech could have been better
Failed attempt in suan-ing the opponents classily
I was trying to form a nice sentence structure inside my head but it just didn't work
I managed to suan them though
However, the effect was not really good
Hmm...
Last night was the first time I didn't feel sad over our loss
In the past, I would groan and turn miserable because of the fact that my team lost a debate
But I wasn't sad at all
Debate has taught me so much
To sum it all up in one phrase: The true spirit of a debater
The weird thing is that our opponents and their supporters didn't scream and cheer and whatnot when they knew of their win
Perhaps they were stunned, eh?
The atmosphere was notably odd
Great thanks to these people:
Supporters + teachers-in-charge: Your presence is simply what we needed
Several people who told me to 'jia you' - thanks a lot! =)
Mr Yeo who gave us a ride to the hosting school
Eeyore - I just can't do without it *winks*
It was a shame that we lost
But we're gonna do better in the next round, which falls on the common test week
Loads of pressure
Bah
It is certainly a pleasure to see the debaters we know =)
It's sad that we couldn't get to watch them debate
Thank You, God =)
I am so strong for You've been walking beside me
I will shine for You
Faith is to believe what you do not yet see; the reward for this faith is to see what you believe. -- Saint Augustine
with all your heart
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Try taking part in a competition when you're in Sec 4, that's what I want to tell those who think that I'm not working hard
I'm trying my best
Yes, perhaps I haven't worked hard enough but do you know how tight my schedule is everyday?
Seriously, my schedule is whole lot more hectic than the teachers'
Let me review what happened yesterday
Monday (yesterday)
2.30pm-5.05pm Chinese Orchestra
When I reached home, it's like nearing 6pm
Tried to study for the next day's Biology test until 8pm
Took a break until 9pm
Prep case for mock debate till 10pm
Tried to study Biology again
Had conference from 10.45pm-12am
Last preparation for mock debate until 12.30am
I won't be surprised if I failed my Biology test even though it was a relatively easy one
And yes, my Biology teacher would accuse me of not studying again
How great
I'm extremely envious of my fellow classmates who can go home straight after school dismissal
Sometimes, I yearn to be like them
But well, it's all right
At least I have something glorious to look back on when I think about my Sec 4 life - taking part in the JGs and (this blank is gonna be filled in after my team wins the JGs!)
Then again, I'm gonna take every failure in my stride
I'm gonna show the teachers that I take my studies seriously
Even more seriously than anybody else
But it takes time
Meanwhile, what matters to me is the JGs
I'm going to recover what my team has lost last year because we deserve a victory; a grand victory
I won't regret taking part in JGs this year
Perhaps it's the only thing that keeps me alive... the only thing that spurs me on
I'm truly blessed to have such wonderful debate juniors and friends
I'm really sorry to my juniors for I have disappointed them umpteenth times for not being the Best Speaker
You guys are my strength =)
Lord, I know I'm gonna feel alive once again
That's what debating does to me
I will be strong for You teach me how
To 1st speakers
To reply speakers
To McDonald's (lol)
To cabs we take
To extremely out-of-the-place hosting schools
To late nights on Friday
All in all, here's to the wonderful thing in my life called DEBATE!!!!
angel
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Damn it!
This is getting on my nerves!
Some unknown person has been calling me on my cell phone since 5pm till now, which is like midnight already
The caller's ID isn't revealed and guess what's the weird part?
The person called and in a second or two, hung up
I mean, if the person meant to make an important or urgent call, he or she wouldn't hang up immediately right?
And I doubt the person has dialled the wrong number
I mean, I do receive calls where people dial numbers wrongly, but at least these people bother to speak
I managed to answer the phone twice, out of I don't know how many freaking times, but it was plain silence I heared
Perhaps I'm already fortunate not to have listened to that person breathing on the other end
My question is: Is there even a person in the first place?
What the hell is going on?
Can this person stop calling me?
I'll sue you for harassment!
If I were to track you down, you'll be doomed
----------------------------------
Just when I was feeling so damn stressed, God showed me the beauty of life
He has given me the best
What more could I ask for?
The results of a number of tests are unexpected, some were far from my targets while some just gave me a shock of my life
I'm not an intelligent person just because I did pretty well for one (yes, only one!) test
To me, it was a fluke
And tutions don't work wonders for you
Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration
I presume no one would say anything to me anymore (well, maybe 'fail ar... never mind lah... it's just the first common test) when we receive our common test results because I'm gonna mess up
I most probably will
I'm now working on the mock debate this coming Tuesday
This is the first time I've come across a motion that I'm so comfortable with
I'm having fun setting up cases for both sides
It's a huge accomplishment!
I've never had so many points with both sides
If this were an impromptu debate, I would have confidence in doing well
Haha
Allow me to commend myself, people!
By the way, the motion is (wonder if I could post it here) THBT the results of talent contests should be decided by specially-selected judges, not the audience or the public
I'm good at this, am I not?
This motion has found the right person
Ha
Then again, it would be darn embarrassing if I lost the mock debate or the real one (that is, whether I can pull through the mock debate or not)
I'm returning to my preparation
Debate has never been this fun
Well, it has been, but not to such an extent
I'm gonna do my best this coming Tuesday
Luo Yi too!
For his revival round in Superhost =)
We believe
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
I'm in a blank right now
I have so many things to say but I don't know how to start
Hmm... watched Memoirs of A Geisha last night
I thought it was pretty romantic
I like the part where Zhang Ziyi was dancing and snow flakes were falling down
And Gong Li's pronunciation of English words is way better than I thought
Went Mr Yeo's house yesterday
Axios is so so so cute!
And boy was I touched by the real life story!
Fairy tales do exist
Superhost has a revival round!
I sincerely hope that Luo Yi would be one of the five contestants
*crosses fingers*
Guess what
I'm listening to Rain right now
Think it's because he collaborated with Lee Hom
This entry is in bits and pieces, uh?
Enjoy the read, people!
I'm gonna be extremely busy in time to come
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Should I just move on?
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On second thought, maybe no
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Sometimes, I want to tell you to wait... but it's pretty ridiculous, it's it?
I'm starting to blabber
Guess I should just end here
time after time
Friday, January 27, 2006
The final performance was a blast
I love the second song, 'Long Teng Hu Yue' =)
I heard people go 'Wow' when we were playing the extremely fast and difficult part
Hee =)
And yes, all the soloists were great
My juniors simply rock, especially the first soloist =)
Mwhahahahaha
I love CO, really =)
You can build muscles by playing pipa, k?
My arm was slashed by the first string when I was trying to tune the pipa last night
I don't want the scar to fade away
I want it to be there as a memory
And I was freaking worried that the first string would break during the performance just now
Cos it did happen twice during practices
I ponned tuition
I'm feeling so guilty about it
How?
It's like I thought I could make it (I pretty much could actually) but I was tired after the celebration
And yes, I was having retail therapy
=X
I'm so dead
I have to wake up
Otherwise, I'd end up nowhere
It's time for reflection
*slaps myself*
Chen Yuan and I went to the NUS campus after the celebration
She was looking for her mum
So I was waiting outside the medical library, and those people were like looking at me, wondering what the hell am I doing there
It's not the law faculty anyways
If I were in the law school, I would open my eyes wide and scrutinize each and every single thing or person I see
And probably enter the CJ Koh library and whatnot
So yea, Happy CNY, everybody!
run it!
Thursday, January 26, 2006
It will most likely be my final performance with the CO tomorrow
I thought I wouldn't get emotional and I was wrong
I never expected myself to even feel a trace of sadness
But yea, I'm feeling it now
Three years learning to play the pipa and two years (well, not literally) of performing
It's no wonder that I am so emotionally attached to this instrument and of course, the orchestra
And indeed, the stage is like a haven of mine
Whether it's in the school hall, the Singapore Conference Hall or the remarkable UCC, I love the ambience all the same
And that is not being able to perform in the UCC during my last year with the orchestra
It's certainly saddening that the Sec 4s' final performance would arrive in January
And till today, I still have not made up my mind whether to choose CO or debate as my CCA after I enter a JC
If I chose CO, I would really hope to have pipa lessons
As a matter of fact, it's harder to get into a JC debating team, especially when it's one of the most distinguished teams
I'm still in a dilemma but I know wherever I go in the future, it will be where I wanna be
I'm thinking of the past again and the things that could have been
Like what Li Teng said, we shouldn't attempt to change anything because everything happens for a reason
We should instead make use of what we have right now
And yea, the past is in the past
*clears throat* i think i miss fill-in-the-blank
I guess my junior is a psychic or she probably reads a lot of astrology stuff
Cos she gave a perfect description of my character
Cancerians are usually good-tempered but when they blow up, it's horrifying
=) I'm just like this
I know the difference that sets me apart from some people and that is I don't get offended over little things, at least I won't say anything
I simply keep everything inside my heart cos I have a big heart!
Haha
Why do people get offended easily over little things when what they say to me is even more offensive?
It's just a joke
Get a life
I feel sorry for you if you don't
WHATEVER
People, please clap for CO tomorrow!
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the moment
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
My A Math paper is so screwed!
I officially declare that I'm suffering from test/exam anxiety, especially when the duration of the test or exam is particularly short or so I think.
Congratulate me, won't ya?
My greatest regret is not being able to achieve my target.
Oh well, to look on the brighter side, it's just the first test of the year.
And yes, remember me saying that if i score 6 distinctions (meaning A1s or/and A2s) for the 'o's, go tell the reporter that I'm your idol?
You have to do so.
No joking, really.
While others get to return home in the afternoon, I can only get home in the late evening, almost every single day
No complaints but lots of worries, I have
How am I going to do well in studies, debate and CO?
When others have twice the time I have at home
I feel like a bee
Congratulate me once again
I'm going to have a sore throat soon if I don't take care of myself
It's burning like an inferno
it's my life
Friday, January 13, 2006
Take a look at my tight schedule...
Monday - CO practice
Tuesday - Debate. Right after debate is tuition till 8pm
Wednesday - Mock debate (depends)
Thursday - CO practice
Friday - Mock debate (depends as well) and tuition until 8pm or JGs competition and I'll only reach home by 11pm or midnight
I'm not complaining whatsoever
I'm just shocked to see what a busy student I am
And really, if I could score 6 distinctions for the 'O's, please tell the reporter that I'm your idol
I'm just kidding
However, if you want to do so, I'll definitely welcome you with open arms
Might I add that Miss Ong is the best teacher in my secondary life?
With her around, we will definitely win the JGs 'C' div!
Ha... it's just my opinion
You don't have to consider it as true
Chemistry practical today
We did titration and guess what?
Evey and I succeeded!
At last!
I'm starting to like practical lessons
Well, even if I don't, I have to
I've never liked groupwork
Or rather presenting what my group has done
Because ser, evey and I will either be neglected or be the last to present, time and time again
I really wonder why
*waves to teachers*
We're right over here, in case you can't spot us
Please notice us, for goodness sake!
I wanna go jogging!
Morning jog, that is
No night jogs for me
I'll probably drowse off while jogging
I like the discipline run thing
It feels better to have the whole class running together
Everytime we run separately, it just feels bleak
If I asked my dad to go jogging with me, I wouldn't be surprised if my speed becomes faster
*thinks*
I'm all drained out right now
Gonna have a date with my cup of coffee
See ya!
welcome to wherever you are
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
I chanced upon this while surfing the Net:
Real has its own movie!
Wow
The world's richest soccer club!
It opens in cinemas on 2nd Feb
I think I'm gonna catch this film and take a look at Casillas
It's been a long while since I've seen him
Tee hee
Unfortunately, I don't watch them play any longer and I don't bother to go to their site and check out how they're doing
But Real's still the best =)
I'm gonna replace the word 'f***' with 'whatever'
I think it sounds better (duh, of course) and it's less offensive (duh again)
Ha... yep, and no one really knows when I'm cursing them
Nah, this is not the objective
I just don't want to hurl abusive words at people =)
CO selection test today
I think there's hope for pipa, provided that everyone attends practices regularly
We already have a 6th grader, plus a 9th grader and a Sec 1 who knows how to play almost every instrument in the plucked strings section
And she chose pipa!
I know I'm a great senior, that's why she came to me =)
And yea, I will surely visit my juniors next year =)
And I miss my phone
Boo
I wonder if I'm ever gonna get it back in good condition
And I have to be familiar with it all over again
My phone rocks
It's maroon in colour (lots better than the black one), it's beautiful, minus the lagging part and stuff
Oh phone, please come back to me, quick!
I'm now in a PMK frenzy, partly because of Li Teng
Look how impressionable I am
Don't you think PMK is cute?
Haha
I wanna get the free angbaos!
you only live once
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Anybody knows how to analyse dreams?
Cos I've dreamt of people falling from buildings twice and apparently, they died
The weird thing is, the dreams weren't scary at all
It just made me go "Oh, what a pity. Life is so fragile."
Peculiar, isn't it?
I'm now a PMK freak
With all the milk revolution and stuff =)
A to the C
For sure
golddigger
Friday, January 06, 2006
Something interesting, embarrassing and hilarious happened today
However, I'm not gonna say anything about it
Only clever people understand what I'm talking about
I'm not afraid or ashamed of making mistakes but I'm afraid and will be ashamed if I make the same mistakes over and over again
Harvard oh harvard
It's just a dream
Closer than that, it's just a self-directed movie of my own
It's ok since there's a university here that i like very much =)
friend or foe
Monday, January 02, 2006
Sent my phone for servicing
Problem unknown
Great
Now I have to use a phone that I'm not used to using
The buttons are hard to press and I have to use a whole lot of effort just to type an sms
Boo
My phone please come back in one piece and tell me you're still working
I think the model I'm using has the most problems
If, if my phone can't be repaired, I'm gonna change to a SE phone for sure
K750i is my choice but if I have to buy a new phone, I've learnt my lesson the hard way and I'm gonna choose a phone carefully
I can't help but feel a tinge of pain
498 bucks!
If I'd known, I'd spent this money on David Tao's concert and would even give a treat to anyone else who wants to go to the concert for free
All I can do now is pray for my phone to work again
I'm so helpless
Oh, and it's back to school tomorrow
kiss goodbye
Sunday, January 01, 2006
I admit, it'll be weird if I don't post a New Year entry
I'm not gonna say anything about 2005 for it's a strange year to me
I've never experienced a year that's zoomed past me in a flash
It's just so bizarre
But I was looking forward to 2006 because I just felt like it
So here's my New Year resolutions/wishes:
1. No last minute studying
2. Go all out for JGs
3. Try not to miss any CO practice (haha)
4. Smile more (no crying, only tears of joy are allowed)
5. Don't get irritated/frustrated/agitated easily
It's the last year!
I can pull through
I know that there is a number of opinionated people in the class but I don't have to bother about them
They can do what they like, say what they want
Just as long as I'm myself and know that I'm not what they think
I have nothing to be afraid of
All it takes is faith to make your dreams come true
Friday, December 30, 2005
And THE MAN IS BACK!
'Heroes of The Earth' is a rocking album!
I would call it a sequel to 'Shangri La'
The first single, 'Hua Tian Cuo' is like the sequel to 'Xin Zhong De Ri Yue'
Look out for 'Kiss Goodbye'
It's gonna touch the hearts of many because it's touched mine!
Somewhat a sequel to 'Forever Love'
Beautiful ballad 
Let me stress on one thing - don't ever download any songs from Lee Hom's latest album
If you really love any song, buy the original album or buy the songs
Guess what?
Lee Hom is spokesperson for SE
When I have already bought the N3230 because he kept waving the phone in one of his videos from the last album
He's endorsing Fossil watches as well!
But I'm not that fond of Fossil's designs
I prefer Swatch Never mind, I shall go for what I prefer
OH YES!
Why am I still not invited to play the pipa for Lee Hom?
Just kidding I was reminded of this when I saw/heard Lee Hom playing the erhu
And he collaborated with RAIN!
WOW!!!
He's that fantastic, if you haven't realised 
I like Wang Li Hong and Wang Tian Cai!
Nothing more to say...
heroes of the earth
Thursday, December 29, 2005
I AM SO ECSTATIC RIGHT NOW! 
My phone is working again!
Without having me to get it repaired
But I'm ecstatic not because of this
The real reason is - Miss Ong is one of the MAD teachers-in-charge!
What more can I say?
Thank You God!
My new year wish has come true!
But I have one more request, if that's not too greedy of me
Initially, I wanted Miss Ong to come back because I wanted her to be my English teacher
But now, she turns out to be MAD club's teacher-in-charge
I hope my initial wish could be realised
If it doesn't, it's fine
At least I can see her during MAD 
But I'm guilty for not doing well without her 
Lee Hom's album will be released tomorrow!
The results of your analysis say:
You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry.
You are a shy, idealistic person who does not find it easy to have relationships, especially intimate ones.
You are affectionate, passionate, expressive, and future-oriented.
You are a talkative person, maybe even a busybody!
You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others.
I think the fourth point is interesting and pretty true 
I'm probably keeping my hair
I look darn cartoon-ish with two pony tails 
Hey girl, I wanna catch your wave
Hey girl, I wanna drift away with you
Hey girl, you've got an undertow
Hey girl, hey girl, don't wanna let you go
Another twenty bucks will be spent on The Click Five's album
Well, well...
2006 is gonna be a great year!
I can sense it
Trust my instincts, people!
And I'm gonna be on that stage
catch your wave
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Time goes by so slowly for those who wait
No time to hesitate
Or procrastinate
I'm such a great procrastinator
When will I ever get some work done?
I have to learn
Hope I'd learn to stop procrastinating soon
If not, I have to pay a price
My phone can't even be switched on now!
The problem is worsening
And I have yet to send it for servicing
Oh well
hung up
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Can you feel the spirit in the airGiving hope to people everywhere
Celebrate our Savior's here
This is Christmas
Hallelujahs echoing tonight
Now everything will be alright
Celebrate our Savior's here
This is Christmas
I need Plus One's Christmas album so badly!
I should have gotten the album years ago
I'm gonna get it soon!
When Christmas is over, that is
I love the songs in their Christmas album
The above lyrics is extracted from one of my favourites, This Is Christmas
Christmas is loads better with Plus One
I pray that I become what You would have me be
That I would give as much as You have given me
My darling cellphone died on me without warning
Not completely but the menu button isn't working
So I can't get to the menu and use extra functions
Thank God I can still receive and send messages
This is how my face looks like -
whenever I face my phoneTo make things worse, this is a long weekend we're having
So the earliest I can send my phone to the Nokia care centre is next Tuesday
I presume a charge is needed even if I have my warranty card
But it's ok
Just don't tell me my phone can't be repaired
I'll bang my head against the wall
My uncle asked my sis, my cousin and I if we wanted to go to his church tonight or not
And as usual, we had plans and rejected the invitation
But I don't really mind going
I think the Christmas performance would be lovely with adorable kids around
I want to buy new clothes
For the new year maybe
But how is it possible for me to wear them on Chinese New Year when they're mostly dark coloured?
La la la
I get to eat free Royce chocolates!
This is the advantage of having a sibling who works 
Lord hear our prayer
Friday, December 23, 2005
Christmas in just 2 days!
Compared to the previous years, I'm much more in the festive mood this year
Perhaps it's because more people are giving me gifts?
But really, Christmas is not about gifts but sharing this season of joy and love with those around you
Personally, it's a time to thank God and have my hopes renewed
Yep, and I must be more ready to give than receive
Though my gifts don't cost much, they hold great significance
Be it e-cards, cards I print out or anything else (like simple greetings), I hope those that receive them will be happy with whatever I give them =)
My Christmas wish: A great year ahead!
I nearly went crazy the whole day
Facing the Chemistry textbook, how I can not be?
I'm dead beat right now
I seriously agree with anybody who says that the current 9pm Channel 8 drama is better than The Rainbow Connection
Way better
Here's why:
Firstly, the actors know how to act
Secondly, the story plot is way more interesting and hilarious
Thirdly, there's Thomas Ong!
By looking at it, the third reason should actually be the first but ya...I can't believe I like Jay Chou's 'Fa Ru Xue' and 'Mai Ya Tang'
And Lee Hom cut his hair!
It's darn short and not that appealing
Speaking of which, I might not cut my hair for the new school term
I'm thinking of keeping it coz I'm attending a wedding this March
And a hairdresser's gonna style my hair and stuff
But what if I don't have enough hair for her to style?
Furthermore, I don't want a hair that's of weird length, as in that kind which I can't tie or let down
I think my current hair matches this description
Then again, keeping it is quite a nuisance
Should I keep or cut it?this is christmas
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Back from hiatus with this skinI like how random it looks with a unique style
And as usual, if you think the ads are spoiling the skin, hide them
Found and edited this skin when I thought geocities was down
Initially, I wanted to return to blogger (yes, yet again) because I find the ads extremely hideous
But kind me thought that it'd be more convenient for you guys so I decided to stick to geocities
However, it's very inconvenient for me as I have to add html codes on my own in every entry
It's Christmas time, people!
Here's wishing everyone a Merry Christmas in advance!
TV talk
I won't get to watch Superhost when school reopens coz I'm having tuition
And perhaps when I don't get to watch it for the first time, Li Teng will be out
Though I truly don't want it to happen
And my childhood idol, Thomas Ong, has a role in Love Concierge!
Oh yes, and the Super Band commercial is lame and irritating
Coz I was away
Breakfast at the hotel
The suite was spacious and comfy and it was freaking cold inside
Watched this movie for only S$4.50, and it's a midnight show
I got Jay Chou's album unexpectedly
I wanna get SHE's and Evone's album from China!
Peace and goodwill to all men
