Several people have ventured into the dark sanctuary of the mysterious Lady Aserankh, Oracle of Osiris. They look somewhat fearfully about them. Surrounding them on all sides is a dark room lit only by oil lamps. Its walls and ceiling are painted with gilt-edged hieroglyphic symbols that glitter eerily in the flickering light. Here are images of Osiris, Isis, and Horus - the mystical Triad that rule the sky with Ra and Nut and guard the sacred door to the blessed afterlife beyond the Duat.

      Suddenly they see the form of a petite and beautiful woman transform out of the darkness and come toward them looking almost like an apparition. While they are still speechless with dread, the mysterious lady senses their unease. Smiling at them, she speaks in a melodic voice that she hopes will sooth her nervous guests.

      "Welcome to my abode, seekers of hidden knowledge."

      "I am Aserankh, the lady who knows the mystical secrets of the beyond and can divine the future! What is it you want to know? After praying to Osiris for the answers, I will answer your questions. Come now, don't be shy! Ask me what you seek to know!"

      Finally one of the petitioners approaches the Lady Aserankh and bows his head in respect before asking a question. Lady Aserankh listens quietly as he explains what he is asking. Then she motions him to sit at a table. There rests a beautifully carved and gilded chalice with an oil lamp suspended over it. The chalice is filled with clean water. Upon this reflective surface, the lady Aserankh settles her focused gaze, looking through it into the fathomless depths of time�.

      Later, emboldened by his question and the Lady Aserankh's quick response, the other supplicants ask their own questions in turn, anxiously awaiting a reply.

Question: Asked by SeNefer Mentuhotep: "Lady Aserankh, I was given a hot stock tip by the Old Seer by the Sphinx! He said I should invest large sums in a new business called the "Rolling in Dough Bakery and Brewery." I am prepared to buy a hefty amount of shares but first, I need to know� Will it be a good investment?"

Answer: Lady Aserankh looks up from her divining chalice in surprise at SeNefer's mention of the Old Seer by the Sphinx.

      "If you mean who I think you mean," Aserankh says as she grins mischievously, "Then I think you're about to be fleeced by someone who can pull the wool over anyone's eyes if they aren't careful! I have a better idea for your investment. ~wink~ Why not buy stocks in the Royal Falcon Inn right in your own hometown? I hear that they have hired a new group of entertainers that are going to create quite a sensation when they go public!"

      Upon hearing this, SeNefer agrees to look into it.

      "Alright, I am ready for the next question. Who wishes to go next?"

      Lady Nefertarti steps up to the table, her strong Jasmine perfume making Lady Aserankh's eyes water. Nefertarti smoothes her heavily hennaed hands down her voluptuous body as she sits in the chair, obviously finding enjoyment in the gesture as she licks her luscious red lips and smiles. The water in the divining cup looks as if it is starting to steam as Nefertarti begins to speak in a low, sexy voice�.

Question: Asked by Nefertarti: "Oracle of Osiris! I must know! Who is the fairest one in PiRamesses?"

Answer: Now the water in the chalice seems to be boiling! 'Wow! The Oracle appears to have a major case of the "hots" for this woman!' Aserankh thinks to herself as she looks up with a somewhat shocked but amused expression on her pretty face. Soon she hears the voice from the netherworld giving her an answer and she speaks in excited tones.

      "No, you aren't the fairest one in Egypt. There are some that are far more beautiful. But do not fret, for my source is fairly confident that there is no one more hedonistic or sensual than you! If there was a "Sexiest Bad Girl in PiRamesses" contest, you'd no doubt win."

      Pleased with her answer, Nefertarti pulls a gold coin from the deep cleft of her cleavage formed by her skin tight red dress and gives it to Aserankh in thanks.

      Seeing that no one else wishes to ask a question but have merely come to observe her at her work, Aserankh smiles as she waves good bye to her clients for the day. However, as she goes to the living section of her home, she feels a little disappointed that she didn�t have more questions to answer.

      "How will I ever pay my taxes if I don�t get more business?" Aserankh muses aloud. Just then she grows thoughtful and remembers the Oracle's promise that she will someday be almost as wealthy as Pharaoh�

      Editior's Note: Let's give the Oracle of Osiris more work to do, citizens of PiRamesses! Who would like to be next to ask the Oracle a question? You never know what the answer will be unless you ask! ~wink~

      To ask the Oracle of Osiris a question, use the special e-mail link to Kheru below and place "Message for Aserankh" in the Subject heading. In the body of the e-mail, list your name and give a detailed summary of your question. Then send it and look for your answer in the next issue of Kheru!