Saint
was sad and low and down
On the news so hard to take
Sonya's leaving old Carnarvon town
Down South to surf another break
That may
just be one of her tales
Cause Sonya doesn't even like to surf
A lonely sheila out amongst the males
She goes to sea just for a perv
It's not
torsos that she seeks
It's something else for which she yearns
It's those rubberclad boy bottom cheeks
And she goes mushy with those bottom turns
Well if
bottoms do so rule your life
This gift may be a hit
And should a bottomless day arrive
You can stick your nose or beer in it
What do
you buy for a superhero
One whose strength will rarely falter
The one seen diving in the lycra suit
You know him... it's Superwalter!
To live
the life of a superhero
Is more than being wise
It's about masking your identity
In a lycra-clad disguise
Now it's
likely you haven't seen him yet
And the image won't quite fit
But think of snorkel, fins, the suit
I'm sure you'll picture it
SuperWalter
flew in from the Kimberleys
Imagining he would be alone
Then stumbled upon an unlikely bunch
Some even mind his on-call phone
By day
a hard-working medico
Writing scripts for patients'pills
Then just a whiff of ocean breeze
And you'll see the outline of his gills
Walter
then introduced the tickler
He says it's for catching crayfish
But some of us certainly know
To be a porn star is his secret wish
Many of
our heroes have an Achilles' heel
For Superman it's Kryptonite
But we've yet to find a weakness here
Heck, it's probably Vegemite
So naturally
even our Superhere
Can progress or advance
He needs to wear over his lycra suit
A cape and some underpants
So his
presents have a fishy theme
I don't think he'll be delighted
But having seen him close to fish
He's bound to be excited
Old Santaclaus
trotted here from Spain
And arrived an aged wreck
That was once but never again
He'd put all Ozzies in the Sack
He read
from his aged book
Who'd been bad and who'd been good
This Woollie deserved a second look
It was uncertain where he stood
Because
Poms and Limeys - all the Brits
Always get the Sack or Roo
And when that Roo the bottom hits
They all start whingeing too
But Woollie
might escape this rule
Despite the stiffness of his lip
And zest for tea he is no fool
For an old man he is hip
Where
to find this Englishman?
Saint stopped and asked around
'Go to a party if you can
At the centre he'll be found'
And in
a circle Woollie sat
A ring of people looking well
In his hand a beer he had
He had bound them with a spell
'All of
you lend me an ear
And girls can give me more
There's stories here for all to hear
My brain a great big store'
Tales
left and right and in and out
All true though polished up a bit
In a whisper or a shout
He could make his job of it
Sweat
still glistened on his brow
From a curry he once ate
It's a medical wonder how
He manages not to dehydrate
He laughs
and plays and sports a lot
Windsurfing is his scene
With the size of board he's got
He can bridge and walk the whole Fascine
Carnarvon
time is drawing to an end
Just now that he's got the hang
Woollie and the town go hand in hand
He'll be like a boomerang
�
Sint was puzzled when he arrived in this town
He heard all the rumours about a clown
The doctor from Holland to be precise
Who is one of those guys
That, unlike real men
Runs around with a beautiful tan
When you confront him he looks vain towards you
'That happens while surfing at a place called Gnaraloo
'Cause that's where to go for a play' he will tell
'The place for a surf on a beautiful swell'
Still not enough for this never- grown- up boy
Recently he bought himself a new surfing toy
That hangs in the air and looks terribly green
It's called horizonpollution of the Fascine
But that doesn't stop Kees from being the macho-man
And keeps showing off as much as he can
For women he seems to have a very good nose
They follow him around, wherever he goes
Sint is curious what magic he uses
What's the secret of melting their fuses?
Settling down is not for him
Keeping single is what he's interested in
So Kees does what he likes and keeps running
So much energy it's just stunning
Never a moment for a pause or a stop
Sint went to the shop
To take the tension off the hook
You have to read this interesting book
Sint & Piet
�
From Ketanning, way down South
She arrived in seventh heaven
A lady with the gift of mouth
And single, twenty-seven
Time will
turn that seven to an eight
For that 'single' nothing time will do
So hurry up before it's late
Changing that is up to you
She thought
she found her knight on horse
To sweep her off her feet
That was a big mistake of course
A better choice would be the steed
Many men
have caught her eye
But not a single move she made
They stopped they stared and then passed by
Went to the church and prayed
Prayed
to God to be tied down
In wedlock or in bed
And in Karyn's arms to drown
Time for action, enough is said
Wise Santaclaus
he thought
All true men are fools
To the shop he went and bought
For her a set of tools
�
When insight's needed, when you miss that
vital link
Into women or even men
Never send them to a shrink
Lees' machines look straight through them
Printed
on a plate you get
Worries bones and even fear
Lee raises corpses from the dead
All thanks to a lot of beer
The department
seems to run
On lots of Irish Ale
The room is filled with laughs and fun
If the patient lives to tell the tale
Radiation
has long fried his brain
He'll soon grow another head
Santa hopes it will look the same
A beer for you to drink to that
This about someone who is never Wrong because he is Right
He is keen with the camera but only in black and white.
He looks at things that to you and me are out of sight.
He loves his Guinness but TOO much makes him skite.
He is obsessed with Kayaking, goes paddling and comes back with a Kite.
When there is a PARTY, he is the first to alight.
His name isn't Orville or Wilbur, so it must be Merry Christmas.
.. Lee Wright
The old Saint grabbed at his chest
When he realised what he'd seen
She stood out among the rest
A blond dentist called Kristine
In his
immortality he had great trust
A thought hit him with the truth
His heart was sore with love or lust
He'd rather have an aching tooth
Ah! Any
toothache would be fine
Or of an abcess a good dose
Then in Kristina's chair recline
And see her face up close
And she'd
lean forward just a little bit
A needled syringe in her hand
And he'd be looking at her.........nose
At his age you'd understand
Lost in
useless reverie
Saint pulled himself together
He came to bring a gift you see
Which is another matter
She's
a woman with many interests
Which is a problem if you rhyme
But we'll go ahead and do our bests
Just bear with us this time
The four
elements of old
Have all in her life a share
Fire in her heart -which isn't cold
And she microlights the air
Earth
is garden house and tree
Of which she the owner is
Adding elements that makes three
It's only water that we miss
Water!
She will dive the deep or surf the top
She will kayak all day long
She will sail upwind and never stop
It her element if Saint's not wrong
Long blond
hair and salty sea
Makes for rope upon the scalp
It really needs a rinse you see
And this gift is there to help
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