Well I was lying in my bed one night
With Emu Bitter and VB
Chatted till the morning light
But they didn't answer me.

I got some of their mates along
To get into a swing
Some cheap red wine and my old bong
And still they wouldn't sing

So I looked for company
Somewhere on the shelves
But my books they stood and looked at me
They would rather read themselves

They are not a lot of use you see
To cheer me when I'm blue
So just piss off and let me be
While I think of you