My Monkey

My Monkey

I dream of false communication
in the wake of all these nuclear bombs
that go off in the pits of our stomachs;
we dance to the wind's screams
and tell our empty secrets to the sun.

Lately I've stared into the face of the pavement
while the streetlight burns kisses in our conversation,
a mere 10 seconds away from self-examination;
we just want a place to hang our nails
and sell our empty guarantees to the world.

The sky feels soft on the tip
of my tongue, the way God must feel
while rejecting heroin, this muscle
a sin for all ages, a play for all stages
of retarded development.

I burn when I sing, and teach myself songs
my mother couldn't sell me on a sunny night,
two hours away from hospital cells
and perfectly flattering teeth marks
in the eyes of a devil on my back.

Me, I teach my monkey short poems
to recite to my Asian neighbor, who speaks
in haiku and eats white rice on Sunday
mornings just to avoid the traffic.

Me, I train my monkey to hate
God and children and the elderly,
but my monkey has learned to inject
paper mache into his spine.

My monkey, he dances on a wheel
and feels severely inclined to relax
in polyester recliners in order to feel
like the world is full of aspirin-coated shapes
you can taste.

My monkey doesn't know the difference
between texture and black piano keys,
but I'm slowly teaching him to respect
the ritual; to treat every sin with proper commitment,
to set fire to the cages on zoo carpets.

My monkey is tame and, me,
I'm lame, shouting fierce obscenities
at the soft plastic with pow(d)er inside;
I'm settling loosely into this nightmarish
daydream, every little cloud a new line
to digest.

My monkey represses me
and I'm just a turkey learning
to sweat on days after Thanksgiving,
with each new holiday an addiction
in the face of strangers.

My monkey, he loves danger,
and he tells everyone they suck,
and calls everyone by name,
and bares his fangs to the females,
and shares his secrets with those
who hardly listen or care or want
to tend bar.

My monkey has a name
and it is Depression.
His middle name is Henry.