Exterior: We open on a park. In the middle of the sky, birds hold peace conferences for our benefit. We fade out. We fade in. Big house, big problems. Interior: bedroom. Sitting on her bed, a young woman (or old girl) cries. She embraces stitches made of soft scars and temporary flesh. Her wrists are tied with cotton swabs and she rinses off her depression with razor blades. So little to do, so much time. She refuses to be bothered with English today. She wants someone to hold her for real this time. We fade out. Flashback: When she was 5, she told her mother that she wanted to be a dancer when she was older. Her mother chuckled, and dreamed of the first woman president. We fade out. We fade in. Real time: She calls me and the lines between real life and poetic fiction become blurred. Distorted contradictions of fragile dialogue. I cannot help her. I can only think about her. This is me thinking about her. This is me worrying about her. We fade out. I sleep. We fade in. I miss her when I wake up. I write and I talk and I live my life. We fade out. Flashback: When she was 8, she told her father that she wanted to be an actress when she was older. Her father drank his beer, and dreamed of the first woman in professional football. We fade out. We fade in. Real time: She soaks her carpet and bedspread in horrific frustration. She's utterly terrified of the purpose, and, I think, of birds. She'll sleep it off in time, while anemic hangovers coat her fondest memories of her own childhood. We fade out. She tunes in. Flashback: When she was 13, she told her parents that she wanted to die when, or, if at all possible, before, she got older. They responded with silence, and sold her into therapy. We fade out. We tune out. We fade in. Real time: She's fine for now. Afraid to take another stab at it. Veins win in the end. I'm casually digesting it all. Things can be so real when your eyes are open. It's hard to focus. We lose focus. We fade out. We fade in. Exterior: We see a cemetery. (Next month's episode will explain this.) We fade out. End.
